Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

MARGO

He stares at our hands linked together, mouth parting like he's about to say something, but then we drop, and he screams as he squeezes my hand tighter.

The ride flies up again. Then whips to the side before descending. It repeats the whole course at least five times. The wind rushes through our hair, and I scream until my voice is raw. I swear I even see Daniel smile, but there's a possibility I imagined it. When the ride finishes, my heart is full. I hop out, smiling from ear to ear, while Daniel, on the other hand, walks off the ride like he's drunk, legs wobbling.

I fall into step with him, and drape his arm over my shoulder and my arm around his waist to keep him steady. He rode a mini roller coaster for me even though he practically had a heart attack, so it's the least I could do.

He flinches, back arching, and he sucks in a breath.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

His cheeks redden as he nods.

We stumble off the platform and down the ramp .

"Let's find a place to sit," I say.

But he stops walking.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just don't want to sit."

"Are you sure? I'm pretty much holding you up."

A smile tugs at his mouth, but his gaze shies away. "I know."

I shouldn't let him make comments like this, but it makes my heart flutter.

We spend the next ten minutes or so wandering the grounds. Color gradually returns to Daniel's face. Once he's ready, we go back to the rides but choose some that stay closer to the ground for his sake. I love spinning through the air. I can't help but focus on the lights and excitement all around.

Once we're hungry enough, we leave the rides and follow the scent of food. Every booth has a line of so many people that the lines intertwine and wrap around each other. While we wait in line, Daniel patiently listens as I talk about whatever pops into my head. I tell him all about a pair of socks I'm embroidering as a present for my cousin and how I think watermelon is great in theory, but the texture is overrated. He laughs when I do my impression of Kermit the Frog, and he reminds me to move forward every time someone ahead of us takes a step.

He doesn't say much, but his gaze never wavers from me, like he's taking in every word that comes out of my mouth. But finally, he asks me, "Have you thought of anything else to add to your list?"

"You mean I need to do more than this?"

He nods. "One day isn't enough. "

I sway in the line, tugging at the pockets of my overalls. "You know what I really want after this?"

"What?"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, imagining it. "Shaved ice. Mama always complained about the dyes in them, but you know what? I'm going to eat as much shaved ice as I want tonight."

He laughs. "Wow, you're really living on the edge."

"I know, right?" I frame my face with my hands and wink. "This is the new me."

There's a look in his eyes that I like. It's the gaze I've seen in so many movies. The look the guy has when he wants to kiss the girl. When he's mesmerized by her.

I can see why Annie is a romantic now. Why she's always dreamed of having someone look at her like this. It's nice to be liked. Wanted.

My gaze falters as my back pocket buzzes, and I take out my phone. We're almost next in line. "I need to take this. Could you order mine for me please? I'll be back soon."

He nods.

I step out of the line, trying to find a spot less crowded and quieter if possible.

"Hello," I say.

"Hi. Margo, right?" Her voice is soft, hard to hear through the noise. "This is Meghan. I got your message."

"Hi!" I cover my other ear to try and block out some of the chatter around me. "I'm so glad you called."

"I'd love to answer your questions in person. I also have something for Daniel. Would it be okay if we met? I'll actually be in Spokane for business later this week."

My heart leaps for joy. This is exactly what we've been searching for. "That would be amazing. I can't hear very well because we're at the fair, but I can text you a place."

"Okay, great. Would Friday work?"

My chest pounds, and my nerves flutter. "I have to check with Daniel, but I'm pretty sure it will."

We exchange goodbyes, and I run back to Daniel, weaving through the sea of people. He's sitting at a table in the grassy seating area in-between the food venders and the stage where a man is playing a country song. I rush up and smack the table with my palm. "Guess what?"

He raises an eyebrow. "What?"

I frown. "I told you to guess," I say, sliding in next to him.

He chuckles softly. "You found a penny on the ground."

I cross my arms. "You think I'd be this excited over a penny?"

"Sure," he says. "Why not?"

I show him my phone even though the screen is black. "That was Meghan. She wants to meet us."

He shifts his weight, eyes widening. "For real?"

I nod. "Friday. It's happening. That's when we'll find out about your father."

He looks down at his food, which isn't the reaction I was expecting. I wanted him to be as excited as me.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"We're getting so close," he says. His voice is small and timid. "What if he doesn't like me?"

How could he think that? I hate how that idea is floating around in his head.

I put my hands on his face, one on each cheek, and turn his head toward me to make sure he's looking me in the eyes. "Then he doesn't deserve you. "

His stare is strong, melting me from the inside out. Time seems to slow down as he reaches up and covers my hand.

I should move my hands, put them away in my pockets—better yet, sit on them, so I don't touch him again—but they stay against his skin. His head moves closer, and my heart skips a beat. His mouth is a mere inch away from mine, so close that if someone were to bump into us, our lips would brush against each other.

Tears sting my eyes, and I turn my head, pulling my hands away.

Frantically, he backs up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me," I say. I have a few weeks to months left. No matter how much I want to act like that doesn't matter right now, I can't. "I'm scared of hurting you."

He pauses, looking anywhere but at me. "Margo?"

"Yes?"

He faces me again. The pupils of his eyes are dilated as if I'm the only thing he sees. "I'm going to hurt either way." There's a mixture of pain and longing written across his face. "But never being with you would hurt me more."

Why does he have to look at me like this? It makes me want to give in to ease my fluttering heart.

He inches closer. "I don't have to hurt right now."

His stare makes me forget the truth for a moment. Would it really be so bad if I liked Daniel? I don't have anything written next to my name on my list. What if I wrote Daniel's name? Before I can stop myself, I lean in and leave a timid kiss on his lips, one barely lasting a second, and pull away again.

His fingers gingerly tap his lips with a soft smile.

I laugh, turning away.

This isn't like the kisses I've seen Annie gush over. It isn't a kiss that's meant to curl your toes and send shivers down your back. But it is a kiss. My kiss. It's my way of crossing the line first, letting Daniel know it's okay. That he has my permission even though I shouldn't give it to him.