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Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

DANIEL

Three months before school

I get out of the car, but I don't step forward. My head hurts from the air freshener Laura has plugged into the car vents. Cracking the window open didn't help because once the hot air blew in, Laura turned up the air conditioning. I could've told her the smell bothered me, but I didn't.

She comes around the side of the car and smiles. Her brown hair is pulled into a tight ponytail with a thick headband holding back her bangs, and she wears a light blue tracksuit. I wonder if she was running before she picked me up or if this is how she always dresses.

"This is our home," she says, gesturing toward a yellow ranch with a long driveway. She reaches for my bag. "Let me help you with that."

I jerk it away from her. "I got it."

Her hands awkwardly fall to her sides. "Of course."

This is Laura Miller, a cousin I've only ever met in passing, and now I'm expected to live with her and her family. She seems well meaning, but I know she'll get tired of me. Everyone does. My mother didn't even want me. She abandoned me when I was two years old and left me with my grandmother. Grandma left me too, in another way. She has dementia, but I don't think she really wanted me either.

I follow Laura into the house.

There's a girl who looks a few years younger than me waiting next to the door. She has long blonde hair that reaches below her waist, and she has way too much pink eyeshadow on.

"This is my daughter," Laura says. "She'll be going to the same high school as you in the fall. She'll be a freshman."

"Hi, I'm Olive," she says, grinning and holding out her hand.

I stare at her hand, but I don't grab it. "I'm Daniel."

"I know," she says. "I got your room all ready. Want to see?" She doesn't give me a chance to answer, but she grabs me and leads me down the hallway.

"This is my room," she says, pointing to a bright purple door. "And this is yours." She knocks on the door to the left before opening it.

There's a man sitting at a desk in the corner of the room. He jumps up. "Hi, I'm Rob. You must be Daniel," he says. He grabs a few papers off the desk and tucks in the chair. "We'll have to share this space a little bit. I hope you don't mind. I'll try and stay out of your way most of the time."

I nod, realizing my room is actually Rob's office. They stuffed a bed and dresser into it for me, but the desk and a bookcase full of books for Rob make the bed seem like an afterthought. It would be so easy for them to take it out and let this room go back to the way it was. It's not really mine .

Rob pats my shoulder. "Go ahead and make yourself at home." Then he walks out.

Laura walks in and opens one of the drawers on the dresser. "I bought some new clothes for you, but if you don't like them, I can return them and we can buy something else."

My clothes are worn with holes and fading colors, but I don't want to wear the clothes she bought. I don't want her to think I need or want their help. I won't be here much longer anyway because once I turn eighteen, I plan to leave.

She runs over to the bed and fluffs the pillows. "These are new sheets. I wasn't sure which color you liked, so I bought a gray set and a blue set."

"Thanks," I mumble.

Laura sets the last pillow back down. "I'm going to start dinner, but let me know if you need anything. I'll just be in the kitchen." She gives me a soft smile before leaving the room.

I expect Olive to leave too, but she stays and sits down on the corner of my bed. "You didn't bring much. Do you have more coming?"

I shake my head.

"Oh." She pauses, eyes darting around the room like she's trying to think of another conversation starter. "I'm excited we'll be in the same school. We can sit together at lunch and hang out. It'll be fun."

"I'm not going to do that."

Her brow furrows. "Why not?"

"Why would I?"

She scratches her head. "Well, it's a new school so you don't have friends. I wouldn't want you to be alone."

I set my bag down. "I don't need friends."

"Everyone needs friends. I'll be yours. "

I cross my arms and glare. "You're my cousin, not my friend, and I'd rather be alone."

Olive stands, grimacing. "Well, you're definitely not going to make any friends with that attitude."

"Good."

She walks out, and I shut the door behind her.

First day of school

I shudder, feeling a sudden chill run through my body, and I open my eyes. Olive stands at the foot of my bed, tugging my covers off.

I jerk up. "Have you lost your mind?"

She stares at me with big eyes, like a bug. "You were crying again."

I hurry to grab the sheets and cover myself. I don't cry. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She looks off at the wall making an expression like she wants to call my bluff but won't. "You slept through your alarm, and we have to go," she says. "Mom is driving us. I call shotgun."

Like I'd fight her to sit next to Laura.

Olive turns and heads to the door. Her light hair bounces with every step she takes. She wears a green gingham dress with lapel pins all over the straps and bright orange knee-high socks.

As soon as she leaves, I jump up and pull the jeans I wore the day before back on. I don't have very many that fit. I still haven't touched the new clothes Laura bought me.

Once in the bathroom, I brush my teeth and run my hands through my hair to try and calm it. I need a haircut. I hate when it's long enough to touch my lashes. I'm constantly brushing it out of my eyes. If it gets much longer, I just might shave it all off. The only thing stopping me is the fact I'm always cold, and this school has a no-hat policy.

"Hey, we have to go," Olive says, knocking on the door.

I open it, giving her time to see my unamused expression before pushing past her.

Laura runs into the hallway juggling her purse. "I swear the keys were in here a second ago," she says. She rummages through it for a minute before pulling out her shiny set of keys. "Found them. Let's go."

I saunter forward, dragging my heels every step as I follow them into the car.

"I was thinking we could visit your grandma this afternoon," she says, glancing at me through the rearview mirror. "It's been a while since you've seen her."

I stare out the window, ignoring her. Why would I want to see her? Half the time she doesn't remember who I am. And when she does remember, she treats me the way she always did—like I'm a burden. She was obsessed with my grades and never let me do anything outside of studying. She never let me have friends over or play with the neighbors growing up. It would've been fine, but she didn't spend much time with me either.

If I had it my way, I wouldn't go at all, but Laura insists. My life is completely out of my control. I'm a puppet, watching everything play out while someone else makes all the decisions for me. It doesn't matter who I live with, that's how life goes.

"I could pick you up from school, and we could get something to eat on the drive over." It's about a twenty- minute drive from the school to the nursing home, and I generally zone out and fall asleep for most of the ride.

"What do you say?" Laura asks, smiling.

"I don't feel like it."

"But you didn't go last week," she says.

"I'll go another day."

She sighs. "Why don't we talk about this later."

I shrug again, hoping I'll have a better excuse by then.

We pull into the school drop-off zone, and the car slows. I unbuckle and slide out, my skin immediately crawling from the loud students surrounding me like ants.

Olive is fast, rushing toward the school entrance. She's a gullible freshman who hasn't figured out high school is nothing but a prison for teenagers.

I close the door and walk away, dreading every step forward. I'm not ready to be around everyone, so I hide off to the side of the building. I lean against the brick wall and pull out my copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth and a pen. I crack the book open to the middle and start writing in the margins. This is what I do when I'm stressed. I can write down whatever is on my mind and forget the world.

The entrance doors fly open, and a girl in bright orange overalls comes running out. She has short dark-brown hair that flies out of control as she looks over her shoulder every few seconds. She spots me with the biggest brown eyes I've ever seen, and charges forward.

"Hide me!" she yells. She grabs my arms, pulls me away from the wall, and cowers behind me.

A guy bursts through the door. "Margo, where are you?" His face is bright red and his hands are in fists.

She pushes me forward, using me as a human shield. "Don't let him see me. "

If she didn't want to be seen, she should've worn a different color. She's practically a traffic cone. The guy spots her in seconds. He marches over to us. "You scammed me!"

"I did not!" she yells from behind me.

"The watch was a knockoff!"

"That's not my fault. I didn't know!"

"Just give me my money back!"

He reaches for her.

She dodges him by using me to block him.

"I don't have it."

The guy shoves me out of the way, knocking me to the ground. My book lies sprawled out, and just as I'm about to reach for it, he kicks it.

My heart races, and I jump up. "Hey!"

He smirks. "Got a problem?"

I shove him back. "What did I do to you?"

With only one push from me, he swings his fist straight into my jaw. The punch burns, and I stagger back moments before I use my full weight to tackle him to the ground, arms swinging.

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