55 Robin Is a Work in Progress

August 15th

So the plan was to leave directly after the Sunday matinee of TheShadow of Never, and then make it back before next weekend's run.

Because I'd offered to drive Skyler to Seattle. A thirteen-hour drive alone in my car with the boy I liked and had refused to kiss.

After dropping Skyler off back at his dorm hours ago, I had driven around for a while, until I was ready to get myself a large double-fudge strawberry blast milkshake with sprinkles, sit in my car in an abandoned parking lot, and cry my eyes out.

I'd wanted so badly for things not to end this way, to turn the tide of the universe away from the inevitable tragi-comic conclusion in which I, sad, lovesick nerd, learned my place like the Duckie I was. Accepted my fate. Grew up and got over and made do.

But Skyler deserved better than my desperate, selfish infatuation. In the same way that I didn't deserve to be terrorized by Terri Bishop.

I wasn't Terri's punching bag, and Skyler wasn't Batman.

So this was good. This was a chance for me to prove what a good friend I could be.

This time I'd be friendly and charming and cool, and my heart wouldn't climb up into my throat if he looked at me for a little too long with those eyes, and his smile wouldn't make me melt. We'd be friends. I'd be such a good friend.

I was just starting to slide down the other end of the sugar high when my phone buzzed. I squinted at it through my tears and answered, sniffling. "What? Why aren't you sexing Lucas right now?"

"Titch—" Armand's voice broke "—that's... Rrg." I heard him swallow. "C-can you come get me?"

I sat up from my slump and rubbed my hand across my nose. "Sure, I'll be right there."

"Wait, Titch, why are you crying?"

I hung up on him and started Camille, coaxing her out of the drive-through parking lot and toward the Briars complex. Ten minutes later, I found Armand pacing at the base of the stairs; his sleeves were rolled up and his hair was mussed, and his face was shining in the light of the streetlamps—not with tears, with ... holy crap, with passion. He loped over to the car, yanked the door open, and stuffed himself in, glaring at me in concern. He smelled like cigarettes as usual, and I immediately rolled the window down.

"What happened, Titch?" His eyes widened. "With Skyler?"

"Nothing." I shook my head, hair fwapping across the bridge of my nose. But I could feel his eyes on me, and while I knew the tension coming off him had everything to do with Lucas and nothing to do with me or Skyler, it was still a lot to be near. "Okay, he tried to kiss me. He tried to kiss me. And I stopped him. 'Cause I'm stupid. And now I'm driving him to Seattle on Sunday, so you're gonna need to find a different ride to the airport." I glanced over at Armand, who was curled into the tiny seat, arms wrapped around his middle and his knees pressed together. "Like maybe Lucas?" I asked pointedly.

"Hnnrg." Armand shut his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath that made his massive shoulders shudder. "I'd rather not talk about that." He looked back at me again. "He tried to kiss you? And now you're running away to Seattle together?"

I bit both my lips and nodded. "He's going home to see his family, and I'm finally trying to be a good friend to him."

Armand was still watching me, looking—and I'd never felt more justified in using this word—thunderous. I gave him a tragic grin and shrugged. "I told Skyler I'd love to be his friend, i-if he'd have me." I sighed, flexing my hands on Camille's threadbare wheel and staring straight out into the dark parking lot. The light of the streetlamps made little yellow puddles that stretched out in a long row, curving across the hills. A few coyotes sang in the distance. "And I'm in the process of getting over myself. It's a work in progress, okay?"

Armand smiled at me hesitantly. "That's brilliant, Titch."

"Oh yeah, no, I feel great," I said dryly, wiping at my eyes and nose again—my voice was the only dry thing about me—but managed to smile back at him. "No, I know how lucky I am. And that I've been real shitty about this. Speaking of not being shitty." I raised my eyebrows at him. "You better say goodbye to him before you leave."

"I will." Armand huffed. "He's a good lad."

"He is," I agreed. Then I punched his arm. "Now tell me what the hell happened with Lucas!"

"Ow," Armand growled, trying to shy away from me but unable to since he was basically curled into a ball in the tiny space he had. "No! Bollocks! It is extremely none of your business!"

"You called me for a reason," I pointed out.

"Yes, er." He hesitated, then explained what he had in mind, only seeming to realize, as he said the words out loud, that his plans might be somewhat ruined by the fact that the business day was well and truly over.

"Don't worry about it," I told him, "I actually know a few places that are open twenty-four hours."

We pulled out of the Briars complex and started toward downtown. Armand was silent, still hunched in his seat, his hands worrying at each other. Finally, after we'd been driving for a few minutes, he grimaced at me. "I made an arse of myself," he said, and didn't expand on it.

I couldn't help it. "Well, that is what we do, isn't it?"

He frowned at me in confusion.

I widened my eyes slightly. "The piners, right? What was it? Die without dignity?"

"Stop," he groaned.

I chuckled to myself, already feeling a little better. Skyler might not feel sexual or romantic attraction, but he still liked me and we were about to spend a lot of time together in a confined space. And who knew what that might become? Given time, and patience, and the full force of my will ...

Armand was giving me the side-eye, as if he could hear what I was thinking.

"We're working on it, right?" I equivocated, "No one gets over themselves all at once."

He nodded slowly, now staring off into the distance. "No, they do not," he said ruefully. His hands fisted and unfisted over his knees, that were all but tucked under his chin. "But the point is that they try. That we try." He worried his bottom lip for a while, his eyes looking haunted and his hands shaking just the slightest bit.

"You've been doing really well with the not drinking, huh?" I asked gently.

He winced and gave a noncommittal grunt.

We spent the rest of the ride in silence, and once we pulled up in the parking lot of the shopping complex, I shut the engine off and faced Armand fully. "I'm really proud of you. You know that, right?"

He went red and started trying to extricate himself from Camille. "Shut up, Titch."

"Love you too, Big Guy." I blew him a kiss, then followed him out of the car. Armand had made a lot of progress over the past month, but it still felt like a bad idea to let him attempt a business transaction on his own, downtown, after dark. My liaising skills were still required, clearly.

And Armand wasn't the only one who'd made progress—look at me being all mature and enlightened. I was going to be a good friend to Skyler, and who knew? Maybe one day I wouldn't be the worst person in the world.