35 （Texting Interlude 6）

July 31st

Armand: Need more venezuelan munchkins?

Armand: *vegetarian muffins

Lucas: a guy cannot have too many venezuelan munchkins :)

Lucas: ok but do I want to know why that was your autofill option for vegetarian muffins

Lucas: thanks for those btw, I had no idea you could bake!

Armand: I bake when I'm upset.

Armand: Your Better Homes and Gardens came

Armand: I put it in the loo

Lucas: HOW DARE YOU

August 1st

Lucas: Skyler says hi. He says he misses being naked in your class lol jk he says he misses you and that you're a "cool chap"

Armand: He's a sweet kid.

Lucas: HE IS THOUGH

Lucas: It's really funny that he knew the both of us before we've even met

Armand: It is suspicious. Are we entirely sure Skyler isn't with the CIA?

Lucas: I thought skyler said you're british? Shouldn't he be interpol? Or MI6?

Lucas: Do u even know what the cia is?

Armand: I am from England.

Armand: Where are you from?

Lucas: born and raised in the golden state :)

Armand: So ... where?

Lucas: Here. California.

Lucas: Also you are weirdly formal over text. Sir.

Armand: First time in US. Didn't know states come in colours.

Lucas: wow, first time? have we americans impressed you yet?

Armand: You all seem very happy. And smell like powdered sugar.

Armand: And bacon.

Lucas: I'm vegetarian, remember? no bacon smells here lol

Armand: I didn't mean to offend you.

Armand: You're not very happy either.

Armand: Sorry. That came out wren.

Armand: *wrench

Armand: *ranch

Armand: *WRONG

Armand: god.

Lucas: XD lol goodnight

August 2nd

Lucas: So I've been all over the internet and I can't figure out what your comic is about???

Armand: Ah yes. Everything is going to plan.

Lucas: what. plan.

Armand: Remember The Emperor's New Clothes?

Lucas: hell yeah, I love Panic! At The Disco

Armand: Sorry?

Armand: I meant the story by Hans Christian Andersen

Armand: That's me, but with knowing what the bloody hell I'm doing.

Lucas: u tease

Lucas: I gotta know!

Lucas: Don't keep your readers in suspense!!

Lucas: What is the penguin doing there!!!

Lucas: What is the meaning of the frog with the shot glass!!!

Armand: Whatever you want him to be doing. Whatever you want it to mean. Death of the author.

Lucas: uh huh yep sure uh huh

Lucas: I'm thinking about the death of a certain author alright

Lucas: look I don't even go here, but I just like Knowing Things

Armand: So does the frog.

August 4th

Lucas: where's my bottle of tarragon?

Armand: I don't know what tarragon is.

Armand: There was a bottle that smelled weird.

Armand: I may have put it on the front step.

Lucas: THAT WAS GOING TO GET USED IN A VERY DELICIOUS BATCH OF SOUP YOU SWINE

Armand: You seem upset.

Armand: Sorry about your soup.

Lucas: alas somehow I shall persevere

Lucas: seriously though, is ramen all you eat? bc I'm pretty sure there are some nutritional guidelines against that

Armand: The modern world was built by ramen eaters.

Armand: I also partake of the occasional canned meat delicacy. Any relation to Barclay Beef? I believe it makes up more than seventy-eight percent of my DNA at this point.

Lucas: funny you should say that

Lucas: little did you know that you are, in fact, speaking to Mr. Beef himself

Armand: Wait are you serious

Armand: ?

Armand: Oh my god. I feel like I'm meeting royalty. Except you're not a complete waste of space and public funds. Wow. Heir to the Beef.

Lucas: I've been a vegetarian for more than a decade so I don't really have anything to do with the Beef Family Legacy except to use that money to help our horses

Lucas: oh my god I hate that so much, you are not making heir to the beef happen

Armand: Too late. It's already happened.

Armand: Wait, is that where the meat comes from? The horses?

Lucas: BITE YOUR TONGUE WHATS WRONG WITH YOU