10. Isaac

Chapter ten

Isaac

T o say my first time with a man was surprising would be an understatement. Kissing Leo and watching him come undone in my arms was illuminating. A revelation? Unparalleled, for sure.

My body and heart said those were all good things, but my brain wasn’t on board yet. My brain said I’d never been with a man before, or even wanted to be, so why now?

When I didn’t overthink about the fact that Leo was a man, all I was left with was the sense of joy at letting my Daddy side out to play. Hearing Leo call me by the title, his body reacting to my words as if he was made to follow my commands, I wasn’t sure I had enough superlatives to describe how I felt about the new experience.

Leo wasn’t as soft or small as a woman, but I hadn’t found anything lacking when his hands and lips were on me. To the contrary, I wanted more.

Who knew how good two dicks rubbing together could feel? Literally every gay man ever. And bi men too, I supposed. Was I bisexual?

If I was bi, I had more friends who were queer than straight, so I wasn’t worried about their reaction. I might worry about my Pop, but between his long support of human rights and his dementia, I didn’t think it would be a problem.

My spiraling thoughts woke me, and my first thought was how amazing it had been to sleep with Leo in my arms. I was a bit of a heater, but he’s been happy to play the little spoon and bask in my warmth.

After a first kiss, a shared orgasm, and having Leo in my space, I was waking up more happy and settled than I’ve been in a year. Had I ever felt so comfortable with a person so fast? I couldn’t think of another time. Unparalleled, indeed.

He wasn’t in my arms anymore, so I reached out a hand to feel for him, wanting him back against me. If Dezi was still asleep, we could try for round two.

My fingers only found sheets and a pillow. Cracking my eyes open, I saw that I was alone in my room.

Shit. I was so busy worrying about my own feelings around how we’d played, I hadn’t checked in with Leo. I knew I was out of practice, but aftercare was important no matter how tame the scene.

Leo had called me Daddy and we shared an intimate moment, he deserved to debrief his feelings and thoughts around what we’d done. Even if I wasn’t fully ready to delve into my own…

If I fucked up and scared him off, I wasn’t sure how I’d repair the relationship. Besides becoming a friend and confidant, Leo was Dezi’s teacher. He was a great preschool teacher, too, and she adored him.

“Daddy?” A voice called out and I sat up.

It wasn’t Leo, like I’d hoped, but the voice did mean Dezi had crawled out of her crib. “Coming, sweetheart,” I replied, pulling the first pair of pants I found on the floor over my bare legs.

As I opened my door to find Dezi standing at my door with her hair brushed into a fuzzy ponytail, I heard the door to the apartment close. I made to go see if Leo was coming or going, but Dezi grabbed hold of my leg, halting my movement.

“Cakes, Daddy,” Dezi asked for pancakes with a pout as I made slow progress down the hall.

“One minute, Dez. I’ll make pancakes soon.”

My phone dinged from where I’d left it charging on the breakfast bar, but there was no sign of Leo. I picked the device up to see a message from him waiting.

Leo

Morning smiling sun emoji Thank you for dinner and…everything last night. I have plans with Cam and Nacho I wanted to get ready for, but I am sorry I left without saying goodbye. Dezi’s teeth are brushed after we shared a banana, and her diaper is changed. I wanted to let you sleep in, and I also thought you might need time to process what happened. Until you’re ready to talk, I look forward to seeing you and Dezi at school heart emoji

Well, then.

Setting my phone back down after reading over Leo’s words again, I turned cartoons on for Dezi and started to make her breakfast. I felt bad for sleeping in while Leo took care of Dezi, while at the same time loving how he jumped in so easily.

There I was, making breakfast at half-past nine on a Sunday without having to change a diaper first. My daughter was an early riser, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept past seven. Her hair was out of her face, and I saw a few books on the dining table Leo must have read to keep her happy while I dozed.

A reply was going to be difficult. Even Leo’s use of emojis conveyed tone and I appreciated them when texts could be so impersonal. I wanted to thank him for last night, for taking care of my girl, and for making it clear in his text that he wasn’t going to make things awkward at school. Hell, I wanted to thank him for the sex, but wasn’t sure if there was a term for what we did.

How did you convey all of those things while still unsure if you wanted it to happen again? My cock twitched in my sweats at the idea. I knew he was on board.

In truth, I did need time to process.

Plating Dezi’s breakfast and turning off the burner, I knew I needed to sit down and focus on what to say. Thankfully, she didn’t give me a fight putting her in the high chair and was happy to eat since I left the cartoons on for her.

Good morning, baby…

Backspacing, I removed the endearment. Until I knew how I wanted things to proceed, I didn’t have the right to call Leo pet names. Pouring myself an iced coffee, I sat beside Dezi and tried again.

Good morning, it was a treat to sleep in. Thank you for helping with Dezi, I hope she didn’t wake you up too early? You’re right, I am processing. I’ve never kissed a man before, let alone…everything we did. I appreciate your discretion at school. Let me know if you need to talk.

There, I’d said what I wanted to say without promising more. I would take some time to think and focus on Dezi. I wasn’t going on the apps like I’d thought, that wouldonly muddy the waters. I also promised myself I’d reach out to my friends.

Thanksgiving was coming up, which was often family time. Maybe I could have them over for a Friendsgiving the weekend after the holiday? Many of them were in committed kink relationships with pets and children. I could be the welcoming place for them to gather, and show Dezi I wasn’t the only family she could rely on.

Sipping my coffee, I drafted a group message to send to my friends. I made it short and to the point, with no requirements, because it had been too long.

Now that it’s been almost a year since I have seen you all, I want us to gather and be thankful for our chosen family in San Francisco. Join Dezi and me for Friendsgiving the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I’ll make the turkey and gravy, you bring the fixings and dessert if you’re able. Pets and children are welcome!

Within seconds, I had replies from friends saying they’d be attending or would try. This was a start, and something to focus on beside my sexual awakening.