Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Jordan

I arrived at A-Plus Java, the campus coffee kiosk in the courtyard where I met Ellis every day we both had classes. I got there a few minutes early, too eager, but this was the highlight of my day. Especially today.

Now that I was in my last year of law school, Callahan had tapped me to intern at his corporate law firm. I'd spend the next several hours there.

Great experience, I reminded myself for the hundredth time. Exactly what you need.

The lawyers at his firm were all smooth and polished, not to mention ambitious and a little cutthroat. I didn't really fit in, but the firm would be the most logical place to put my MBA and law degree to work.

Why go through all this schooling if not to use it, right? Right.

I stepped forward in the line just as one of my business classmates, a frat bro named Mark, hip checked me to the side. "Me first, loser."

"Nice," I said. "Is that how you plan to impress your future employers?"

"Yep. Survival of the fittest, my man."

Well, there went my chances. No one had ever accused me of being the fittest at anything. My freshman fifteen had morphed into a senior thirty.

"What's with that research project in Anderson's class, huh?" Mark said. "Such a pain in the ass."

"I like research."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course you do. You're such a geek."

"Guilty," I said easily. Mark sounded like an asshole, but it was all an act. He was a decent guy. Smarter than he looked. Nice too beneath his brash persona. As someone who could be a touch tactless, I didn't mind his rough edges.

"What're you getting? I'll buy," he said.

"That's okay. I'm meeting a friend."

Mark shrugged and placed his order. While the barista started making the frozen sugary vanilla frappe, he turned to me.

"So a friend or a date?"

"Friend."

My face must have given something away, because Mark smirked at me. "You wish it was a date."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to say anything. It's obvious."

The cashier was ready to take my order, so I rattled off my order of a chai latte and a coconut water.

"Ah, it's Ellis," Mark said.

"Where?" I turned my head, expecting to see him.

"The crush," he said.

"How did you?—"

"Just a guess. He's a gym rat, so I figured he'd be the one passing up on caffeine and sugar."

I grimaced. "Don't call him that. It's rude."

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. Ellis is cool, man. I'm not judging your man."

"He's not my man," I said. "We're just meeting to talk about how his first law class went."

"He's in law school?"

Mark's eyebrows flew up, and I didn't care for his surprise. Everyone underestimated Ellis.

"Yep. He's smart as hell."

"Wow, you got him over to the dark side. Poor innocent soul will be chugging down coffee and energy drinks in no time."

I chuckled. "I hope not. I'm hoping his good influence will rub off on me, not the other way around."

"Oh, I just bet you do want him to rub off on you," he teased.

"Dude, shut up," I said, face heating.

It was no secret I was gay, and our campus was fairly liberal, but I didn't want Ellis to come up and hear him talking that way.

Mark just grinned and picked up his drink from the counter. "I gotta jet. I'll see you later. Don't study too hard, geek."

"Don't fuck off too much, bro ," I shot back.

He laughed and took his leave. My drinks were ready, so I picked them up and carried them to a concrete table. There were benches attached to it, all of it affixed to the ground so no one could carry them off. Probably a good thing, given how restless bored students could get.

I sat down and sipped my drink, content to watch students walk to and from class, small groups stopping to gossip here and there. I wasn't part of those groups, but I'd gotten over the wish to be.

I was happy with the few good friends I had—most of whom didn't go to this college—and focusing on my studies. What did people always say? Lean into your strengths?

Ellis threw himself into the chair opposite me when he arrived.

A smile instantly bloomed on my face. "Hey, there. I got drinks?—"

He slumped over the table, muttering his thanks to the concrete, golden blond hair ruffling in the breeze.

"What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed. Ellis normally had perfect posture.

"What's not wrong?" he asked in a gloomy tone. "I showed up for my first class like this." He sat up and gestured to the pink tank top that molded over his pecs and exposed his strong shoulders and biceps. "Why didn't you tell me there was some sort of dress code in law school?"

"There's not a?—"

"Clayton was there!" he continued. "And so was his fiancé. Both in suits. And there's me, looking like a slob."

Before I could respond, he added, "Did you know he got engaged? Engaged, Jordan!"

Ellis's eyes gleamed. Oh god, was he going to cry? I didn't think I could take it.

I shifted to his side of the table, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He sagged into me, all that muscle heavy as fuck against my chest. I took shallow breaths because I wasn't about to ask him to move.

"I didn't know," I said. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't want me to get back with him, anyway."

"Well, no. He doesn't deserve you, but I would never want this."

"It was so humiliating. His snarky little fiancé made fun of my clothes, and then Professor Callahan called on me and I wasn't prepared. The whole class was a disaster."

"Yeah, Callahan's stricter than some of the professors."

"Great," he said morosely. "I've got two classes with him."

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you."

He sat back with a sigh. "It's not your fault. I should have read the syllabus better. I thought I'd have time to skim it at the start of class. Stupid idea. Maybe I'm in over my head."

"It's your first day. Cut yourself some slack."

"Maybe Clayton's right," Ellis said, straightening up and allowing my lungs to fully inflate again. "Maybe I should go home before I embarrass us both."

"Oh, fuck that!" I snapped.

El's eyes widened.

"You could never be an embarrassment," I forced myself to say more calmly. "You passed the LSATs. You worked hard to get in. You deserve to be here just as much as any other law student, even that snarky as fuck Victor."

Ellis barked a surprised laugh. "You know Victor?"

"We've met," I said darkly. "I'm not a fan."

Ellis blew out a breath. "Yeah, I've never met someone so mean. I think he's threatened by me, though. Clayton looked at me like…"

My stomach clenched. "Like what?"

"Like he still wanted me." Ellis met my eyes. "That's good, right? Maybe I still have a chance to win him back. He said his family and Vic's family were close. This is probably an arranged setup. He probably needs me to rescue him from an unloving relationship."

Ellis was gaining a spark back in his eye as he spoke.

I didn't want to crush his spirit again, not right after I'd seen how heartbroken he was over Clayton's engagement. I never agreed that Ellis should push himself to go to law school just to win back Clayton, but when he'd studied for the LSATs, I'd realized just how bright he really was.

Now he was here, and I didn't want to see him quit on Day 1.

So I gave him the best smile I could dredge up. "Maybe?"

Ellis hugged me swiftly, then picked up the coconut water I'd ordered for him and took a sip. "I should go. I've got to run to the dorm and shower and change. I'm going to be the most professional law student to ever law student in my next class!"

"That's the spirit," I said with a chuckle.

Ellis met my gaze, only inches from my face, and my lips burned with the urge to close the distance between us.

"Sometimes you have to fight for love," he said with a smile. "Thanks for believing in me, Jordie."

"Y-yeah," I croaked. "Always."

Ellis slid out of his seat, snatching up his drink. "Talk later?"

I nodded, unable to find my voice. His sweet smell, a hint of sweat but mostly peaches and cream from the lotion he used, lingered after he left.

I lifted my chai latte and sipped it forlornly.

Then I opened my text and buried myself in the chapter reading until I had to leave for Callahan's office. I'd expected to spend the time chatting with Ellis like I had every school day since we'd become campus besties.

But it had taken less than one day to alter our pattern.

Maybe tomorrow he wouldn't rush off anywhere. There was no reason to feel like I was losing him.

And yet I did. Because even after that awful reunion with Clayton, he was still determined.

Still fighting for love.

While I cowered here, unable to man up and tell my best friend how I really felt.

I slammed my textbook shut, unable to focus amidst all the self-loathing swirling in my gut. Why couldn't I just say the words in my head? El, you should stop fighting for Clayton because he's not worthy of you, but I would be. I'd be everything for you.

I scoffed at the unlikely fantasy. I didn't know what was less likely, those words passing my lips or Ellis receiving them with anything but horror or pity for me.

I got up and threw my drink away, unable to stomach any more.

Maybe Ellis believed in fighting for love, but I couldn't fall into that trap. I had to put my personal longings aside and fight to remain El's friend.