2. Knox

Chapter Two

KNOX

I stare up that ceiling, my mind reeling with images of Dirk Chapman holding my fucking belt above his head, a smug as hell smile on his face.

Just like I’ve done every night for the last eleven months, I dreamt about our fight.

I saw myself beating the shit out of that asshole for three rounds; three rounds I won without question until he got me in that arm bar.

We both heard my shoulder pop—hell, the ref probably did, too, but the adrenaline coursing through my veins was enough to keep the pain at bay, and I thought for sure I had that shit in the bag.

Then Dirk nailed me with a right hook to the shoulder during the fifth round and it rocked me enough to let my guard down, something he took full advantage of by taking me to the mat and slapping another arm bar on so fast I didn’t even see it coming.

I felt it tear, felt everything go to hell in a handbasket, and I had no fucking choice but to tap out.

I have never, ever , tapped out.

Not before that fight.

My record is 24-2-1.

24 wins, 2 losses, and 1 no contest.

It’s a top ten CFA record, and I have every intention of keeping it that way when I face Dirk Chapman next month.

That belt is mine, and Chapman better be fucking ready because I am coming for him.

But my shoulder immediately argues the second I go vertical, the fucker screaming at me like a goddamn banshee as I try to get out of bed.

I roll through the pain and try to stretch my neck, stretching my shoulder, biceps, and tricep the best I can. Problem is, I can’t lift my arm above waist level first thing in the morning and trying the way I am is only going to make shit worse.

Oh fucking well.

That’s what Motrin is for.

Motrin I snag from the nightstand and chase with lukewarm water just as my phone buzzes from the floor.

Must have been thrashing around in my sleep again.

I bend and grab it, then smile like an idiot at what I see.

SunshineInMySoul: So, I did a thing today...

Yeah? What’s that, Sunny?

SunshineInMySoul: I may or may not have impulse adopted another pet because I’m freaking out.

There’s a lot to unpack in that statement. Start with why you’re freaking out.

SunshineInMySoul: Work stuff. Nothing you need to hear about. It’ll be fine and I’ll be fine and things are fine.

Believable.

SunshineInMySoul: Totally fine. Just placate me, and tell me I didn’t impulse adopt for all the wrong reasons.

I smile wider, despite the pulsing in my shoulder.

This girl.

Man, I’d pay big money to know more about her than the random details she shares over messenger.

We’ve been friends since my dad died and if it wasn’t for her, I would have lost my shit completely and fallen into a depression so deep I wouldn’t have been able to climb out again.

Sunny is hilarious and quirky, kind, thoughtful, and smart as hell. She’s talked me through some of the darkest times in my life, whether she knows it or not, and I look forward to our brief and sporadic conversations more than anything else these days.

Cheesy or not, she’s the sunshine in my soul and I’m beyond grateful for her.

Is your new pet a rescue?

SunshineInMySoul: Of course.

He/she have a history of abuse or neglect?

SunshineInMySoul: Yes.

He/she been up for adoption for a long time?

SunshineInMySoul: MONTHS.

Then I think it’s safe to say you adopted for all the right reasons, Sunny.

SunshineInMySoul: Are you sure? I feel like I’m letting my panic attack dictate my entire decision making process today.

I’m sure.

Elaborate on that whole panic attack thing for me.

SunshineInMySoul: I told you, work stuff and everything is fine.

You are a terrible liar.

SunshineInMySoul: This is true BUT I don’t need to bog you down with my bologna.

Then let me help you reevaluate your decision making.

SunshineInMySoul: 1. Wake up at 4am after maybe two hours of sleep and run five miles in my pajamas and slippers because fur baby number one pooped in my sneakers (again) and I wanted the ensemble to match.

I snort and laugh pretty hard as I hoist myself out of bed.

Wish I could have seen that.

Lots of people get up early to go for a run. Even do it in matching outfits.

SunshineInMySoul: 2. Drink no less than three POTS of coffee because UP AT 4AM, realize that was counterproductive for all the reasons, crash at 7a then proceed to pee every twenty minutes for the next few hours, five minutes ago included.

Coffee can be good for you, especially when taken black the way you do.

I grunt my way to the bathroom, still grinning, take a piss, then wash my hands and brush my teeth.

SunshineInMySoul: 3. Accidentally throw new red underwear in with a white load of sheets, turn everything pink including fur baby number one’s favorite blanket that he will most likely now pee all over in blatant disapproval of my actions.

Goddamn, this girl is hilarious.

Pink is a great color. No one should be offended by it. If fur baby number one is, he’s probably just uncomfortable with his masculinity.

SunshineInMySoul: 4. You already know. Impulse adopt. I’m ok with that one.

As you should be.

My eyes land on the nasty scar on my shoulder as I rinse my mouth out, spit and scowl at the angry reminder of my many fuck ups.

Fucking Chapman .

I move to the shower just as my phone buzzes again.

SunshineInMySoul: 5. I ate half a dozen donuts by myself then spent money I don’t have on new sneakers, which led to eating half a pie and a king size Snickers out of guilt. Shockingly, I don’t feel sick and am actually considering the other half of the pie because I’m anxious as fuck and still feel guilty about buying new shoes.

I swear, this girl lives on nothing but sugar and caffeine. And for some fucked up reason, I find it adorable.

Don’t feel guilty about buying something for yourself, especially something you need. As for the anxiety, go for a run in your new sneakers instead of shooting for a diabetic coma. You’ll expel the nervous energy and feel better about your purchase.

SunshineInMySoul: You are seriously my favorite person ever. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Despite the way that shit makes my stomach flip with excitement and my chest swell with pride, I know for a fact Sunny would be just fine without me. She’s resilient as fuck and when she isn’t freaking out, she’s incredibly rational and usually my voice of reason instead of the other way around.

Sunny doesn’t need someone like me in her life in order to be the badass she is, and that’s why we don’t share things that make our conversations more real than they are. She gets Knox in his rawest form, I just leave out enough of the details to make sure she can’t ever figure out who I actually am. If she knew what was good for her, Sunny would walk away now; because the more we talk, the more I want to give her all the details, all of me, and that’s the last thing she needs.

Too bad I’m a selfish prick and can’t fathom allowing her to walk away from me.

Ditto, Sunshine.

Gotta get my day started. I didn’t get up at 4am like some people and now I’m behind the eight ball.

SunshineInMySoul: Right. Have a fantastic day, macho man. Talk soon.

Talk soon, Sunny.

The second I close out of our thread and check the water temperature, my phone starts buzzing again, Danzig’s “ Mother” blasting through its speaker.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, my family is the most important thing in my life, but if she’s calling to babble on about my baby brother and his new wife—I swear to God I’m happy for them—I’m going to punch myself in the head and hope for a TKO.

“Hi, Ma,” I grunt as I swipe the screen, then try to stretch out my shoulder again.

“Morning, sweetheart!” she chirps at an ungodly volume. “How’s my favorite son on this fine day?”

“Suspicious.” Which is the truth. My mother has that tone in her voice, the one she uses when she’s trying to butter me up to do something I’m not going to want to do, fully supported by referring to me as her favorite . Mom only does that when she wants something; my brother and I both know her games. When she’s not trying to force us into God knows what, Linda Riley will say she loves us equally and has no favorite until she’s blue in the face.

And we all know her favorite is Aggs because she’s our favorite, too.

“Bah!” she huffs. “No need for that, Knoxy.”

Oh god, she’s even using my nickname .

“Right. What do you need, Ma? I was just about to get in the shower.”

“Perfect! When you’re done, come over and pick me up. I need a ride to an appointment in town. We’ll grab coffee on the way.”

“What’s wrong with your car?” Most likely nothing, but I love my mama and need to be sure. “I thought you just had a tune-up?”

“Flat tire.” She sighs. “Walked out to it twenty minutes ago.”

I frown.

She’s lying. I can smell her bullshit from a mile away.

“A flat tire? I can just come over and change it for you.”

“No need, dear. It won’t work. My appointment is at eleven and by the time you get here, it’ll be too close and I’ll be late. Just finish your shower and come pick me up.”

“Ma—”

“See you soon, Knoxy. Love you!” Then she hangs up.

Damnit .

Looks like I’ll be playing chauffeur this morning. Not exactly how I planned to spend my day, but whatever. I’d do anything for my mama and she knows it, and that’s exactly why she’s using it against me.

It’s useless to stew over it, though. When Linda Riley has her mind set on something, there’s no point in arguing. I’ve learned to just roll with it and accept my fate.

Damn .