15. Hazel

Don’t panic.

Whatever you do, do not panic.

Problem is, I’m already panicking.

Today is Knox’s retirement fight, the fight he intends to win so he can go out on top with the belt around his waist one last time.

And while he’s been following my treatment plan to a T, and does everything I’ve instructed him to do, his shoulder hasn’t improved past 83% and I’m pretty sure I know why.

Between the previous injuries, the surgeries he’s had before and the way he damaged it over the last few months while he was supposed to recover, Knox has done a number on himself, and his shoulder can’t get to 100%.

He knows where he’s at, knows that even the last two weeks of rest, recovery and my techniques haven’t gotten him back to where he was when we first started working on things, he just doesn’t care. Knox says it’s fine, says he’s in the best shape of his life and thanks to me, his pain is almost non-existent, but that’s not entirely true.

Is he in fantastic shape? Hell yes. Knox is the perfect physical specimen, even when he cut weight and dropped to 265 lbs., which is a little strange for me to see and makes him look even more shredded than normal. But he isn’t pain free and Knox still hasn’t regained enough strength in his arm to fight like he used to, doesn’t have quite the full range of motion yet and that’s going to affect his reach as well as his reflexes.

And what scares me is the fact that I’m almost positive he never will again.

I’m pretty convinced Knox is going to need a possible shoulder replacement or reconstruction surgery and that’s without this last fight even taking place. And while I know my bear is lethal in the octagon, Dirk isn’t some rookie off the street either. Not to mention he is no doubt going to go after Knox’s shoulder because he knows it’s a weakness. It’s his only weakness.

Knox doesn’t know about that yet, doesn’t know that he’s probably going to need major surgery, most likely sooner than later, and that’s only because I literally just realized it while looking over his most recent ultrasound this morning.

He had to go to the arena early as hell, had to do the pre-fight weigh in and face off with Dirk and take more pictures he hates. And surprisingly, Knox said I didn’t need to go with him to that because he kept me up super late and he’d be coming back here to get his shit, that he’d pick me up then.

From what I read, that’s not normal.

The fighters do their weigh in, take pictures, then meet with their team, do all kinds of shit to get ready for the fight. But Knox said he’d have time to come home for his stuff and then we’d go to the arena together, and I can stay with him right up until he gets into the ring.

Unfortunately for me, all this time alone has turned me into a panicky, worried mess.

One who absolutely does not want her fiancé to fight tonight.

“Sunny?” Knox bellows from inside my apartment.

I quickly close the drawer with his x-rays and shove his ultrasound in there too. “In the clinic!”

Oh god, my voice cracked. He’s going to know I’m freaking out before he even gets in here. Shit.

“Hey.” He smiles that pretty smile as he walks through the door, my man looking ultra-sexy in his shorts and Team TKO shirt. “What are you doing in here?”

“Nothing,” I squeak. “Just trying to expel some nervous energy.” At least that’s not a total lie. Knox knows I’ve been anxious about the fight, especially the closer it got because I’ve been vocal about it, but while I’m a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, Knox has only gotten calmer over the last two weeks.

Definitely not how I was expecting this to go.

“In my t-shirt?”

I glance down at my body, then look back up at him. “Yeah. It’s still early, and I didn’t want to ruin my outfit if I started cleaning or something.”

He grins as he stalks toward me. “I like you in my shirt. ‘Specially if that’s all you’re wearing.”

It is .

I basically haven’t worn pants since we had sex for the first time and putting on panties is a joke because Knox keeps ripping them off. Essentially, I’ve been naked from the waist down every second unless we’re working in the clinic and even then it’s a crap shoot because his treatments now include a happy ending.

My clinic has never been cleaner than it is when Knox is around because my sanitation efforts have doubled since we have sex everywhere as often as possible.

What can I say, apparently losing my v-card to the man of my dreams turned me into a sex crazed maniac. Who woulda thought?

“No sex on fight day.” I smirk as Knox crowds me against the counter, slips his hands under my shirt and up my thighs. “Thought it was a rule?”

He nods, leans down, and nuzzles my neck. “It is. Gotta save the adrenaline for the octagon.”

“So...” I inhale sharply as his fingers trace my suddenly wet pussy. “So, what are you doing, Mr. Riley?”

Knox nips my earlobe and I’m putty in his hands. “Making one last rule for my last fight.”

“Oh... oh really?” His index finger slips between my folds, circles my clit before he presses his palm to it, then rubs and dips two fingers inside me.

Yep, total putty.

“Really,” he growls and pumps his fingers. “Gonna make my girl scream my name at home before she’s screaming it at the arena.”

But his hand is gone.

Just disappeared right when I was starting to get on board.

I scowl at him. “What?— “

“Gotta give you this first.”

His hand reappears, holding a small velvet box, and my scowl falls.

“Knox...”

“Open it, Sunny. Open it so I can put my ring on your finger now, then I’m gonna eat your pussy so good you come all over my tongue before we need to leave.”

“Such a romantic.” I smile and blink away the tears. We’re engaged already and I don’t need the ring, I really don’t. I just know it means a lot to him for me to have it and honestly, this just makes everything way more real. It solidifies the fact that Knox really does want to be with me forever, and I still can’t believe it.

With shaking hands, I take the box, pop it open and start to cry.

It’s a white gold Claddagh ring and the heart is an emerald.

“Oh my god... Knox.”

He pulls it free from the cushion as he lifts my left hand. “It's a tradition in our family. Da gave one to my ma, Blake gave one to Sidney, and I’m giving one to you.” Knox slides it on my ring finger, the tip of the heart pointed toward my fingertip. “Wearing it like this means we’re engaged and when we get married, I’ll turn it around, so it points to your wrist. Love. Loyalty. Friendship. It encompasses all aspects of our relationship and I thought it was perfect, the only kind of ring I should give the woman I’m going to marry.”

“Knox...” I sigh as a few tears slip down my cheeks. “Cubby, it’s beautiful.”

“You like it?”

“I love it.” I push up on my toes, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him. “I love you so much, thank you.”

“I love you, Hazel, love you with all of me, and I am so fucking thankful to have you in my life.” Then his hands are on my ass and I’m on the counter super-fast. “Now, where was I?”

Knox drops to his knees, throws my legs over his shoulders and shit, his mouth is on my pussy quicker still.

I moan as he licks me bottom to top, burying my fingers in his hair as he flicks my clit with his tongue. Thank God the clinic is closed for the fight or someone could definitely get one hell of show if they walked in.

And right now, I wouldn’t even care, because Knox is absolutely devouring my pussy.

Hungry strokes of his tongue, a hard suck of my clit. He pulls it between his lips, flattens his tongue against it, alternates between licking and sucking, sucking and licking. Knox adds his fingers, curling his index and middle inside me, hitting that spot only he knows and before I know it, my whole body is shaking; my thighs trembling on either side of his head, my pussy clamping down on his fingers, clenching tight as he makes a meal out of me.

“Fuck,” I hiss and pull his hair. “Fuck, yes, yes, Knox. Oh god, yes.”

He quickens his pace, feasting until I can barely take it. I can hear how wet I am, hear the way my honey coats his fingers, his tongue. I should probably be embarrassed, but I’m not. No, it turns me on even more and when Knox’s teeth gently graze my clit, I scream his name just like he promised I would.

“Fuck, Sunny, you taste so goddamn good,” he growls into my still orgasming core.

My legs are shaking uncontrollably and just when I don’t think I can come any harder, Knox replaces his fingers with his tongue, pinches my clit and I explode.

“Knox!” I’m screaming so loud, my legs doing things I have no control over, my body convulsing. And that’s when I feel it, feel myself squirt and Jesus, Knox just eats it up.

“So fucking good.” He grins from between my legs as my gaze clashes with his. “I could do that all day and never get enough of you.”

My cheeks flame as he gets to his feet, his face glistening with my release. He licks his lips, his fingers, then steps between my thighs and pulls me to him for a kiss.

I’m really hating the no sex on fight day rule right now because between tasting myself on him and the enormous erection I feel against my core, I just want more.

“You need to...” his voice trails off, his eyes wandering from mine.

“Need to what?”

“What’s this?”

I blink and try to clear the fog in my head. “What?” I follow his gaze and instantly tense when I realize I must have kicked open the x-ray drawer because now he’s looking at the images, the ones I drew all over, indicating with red ink to show the permanent damage to his shoulder. Shit . “Knox, I?— “

He takes a step back, then flips the switch for the light. “What the fuck is this, Hazel?”

“I was, I just, I was anxious and started looking at your progress. I wasn’t, I just...” shit .

He knows where his progress is at, but Knox doesn’t know that it’s not going to get better, doesn’t know what his future could hold. I didn’t want him to find out this way, not without talking to him first, and I really didn’t want it to be hours before he goes into the ring again, especially since I really don’t want him to.

“This... I’m...” He pins me with angry, dark chocolate eyes. “It’s permanent ?”

I nod, sit up and slide off the counter. “It is, but you knew that, knew you weren’t going to be at 100%.” I swallow hard. “It wasn’t until this morning that I realized just how bad it is and?—”

“You don’t think I should fight.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you don’t. I can see it on your face. You don’t think I should fight, because what? I won’t be able to win?”

I shake my head, stepping toward him as he steps back. “No, Knox, I didn’t say that, I just, if you fight, you could do even more damage. You could solidify the need for a reconstruction or replacement. If you fight, you could end up damaging nerves, muscles, it could?—”

“I see.” His tone is icy, his eyes hard. “You think I’m going to step into the octagon with Chapman and have my ass handed to me.”

“No!” I wrap my arms around my waist, feeling tears burn at the back of my eyes. “I didn’t say that. I don’t think that. I just, I’m not sure fighting is going to be worth the possible outcome.”

Knox recoils as if I’d slapped him. “Not worth it? You don’t think fighting, winning the title back to honor my father, to retire on top like I always wanted, is worth the possibility of fucking up my shoulder more than it already is?” He nods. “Or am I just not worth it to you? Don’t want to invest anymore of your precious time taking care of an asshole like me?”

“Do not put words in my mouth, Knox. I never said that, never even thought it. I just don’t want to see you hurt, see you damage your body more than?—”

“I get it.” Another nod, then he’s backing away from me. “I get it, Haze . I’m not worth it now that shit’s getting real. How about I spare you having to see any more of me than you needed to? Don’t bother coming to the fight tonight. Wouldn’t want you to see me get my ass handed to me.”

Then he’s gone.

Knox storms out of my clinic so fast I couldn’t stop him if I tried, and now I’m an even bigger, blubbering mess than before.

How did that even happen?

How did it go so wrong so fast?

I spend the next few hours crying, loving on my babies, pacing and cleaning because I can’t sit still.

For as scared as I am for Knox, I’m even more afraid of losing him.

Did I want him to fight knowing what it could do to his shoulder? No, but I wasn’t going to stop him. It would be useless to try, but I also know what this means to him, how important this is, and I would never get in the way of that. And despite what he said, Knox is worth it. He’s worth everything , means everything to me and I’d take care of him, stand by him no matter what and I’d do it for the rest of our life.

I am going to do it, right fucking now.

Knox fought for me and now it’s my turn to fight for him. It’s my turn to show him how much I love him, how much I support him and how I’ll always be there for him no matter what life sends our way. I’m not going to abandon him when he needs me the most, no fucking way.

I hop off my bed, grab my clothes, and don’t bother with a shower. I quickly pull on my jeans, step into my heels and yank my Team TKO shirt on, mine customized so the back says Property of Knox TKO Riley, Coach Riley Bringing the Sunshine then throw my hair up into the topknot, fix my bangs and look in the mirror.

Ugh .

My face is a mess, but I’m running out of time.

His fight is in forty minutes and I’m barely going to make it to that, let alone getting to the locker room to see him.

I basically scrub the skin off my face, wash it super hard, then add a swipe of mascara and my red lipstick I know Knox loves. I rush back into the bedroom, search high and low and thank God I’m a weirdo because I find exactly what I’m looking for—a bright green poster board and paint markers.

Twenty minutes later, I’m flying down the highway in Nona’s boat, exiting in a very illegal way, then slamming into a parking spot at the Championship Fighting Association Arena. I run as fast as I can through security, show my passes Knox still left at my place, then follow the directions I’m given to my seat.

My seat that is right next to Knox’s entire family that I have never met save his mom.

“Hazel? Oh, thank god, honey!” Linda says as I crab walk toward her. “I was wondering where you were.” She gives me a huge hug when I’m within range and I want to cry all over again.

“We got into a fight,” I pant because running in heels with a bum leg sucks. “What’d I miss?”

“Dirk has the first round, second is about to end and it could go either way.”

I turn my eyes to the ring just as the bell sounds and when it does, I thank my lucky stars that we’re right behind him.

Knox looks good, but rough. No obvious cuts or swelling, but I can see him favoring his bad shoulder, and that is not good because my bear is a southpaw, so it’s even more obvious.

His coach is talking to him, seriously, sternly. Another guy has ice on his shoulders, one shoots water into his mouth and holds a bucket for him to spit in before he does it again. Knox looks totally focused, determined, and though I’m going to try, I’m worried he won’t hear me.

Here goes nothing .

“Knox!” I screech. “Knox!”

Nothing.

He’s either too in the zone, or knows it’s me and is ignoring me because he hates me now, but I have to keep trying. He’s only got maybe a minute before they start the next round, and I need him to know I’m here.

“Mr. Riley!”

His head snaps in our direction and when those dark brown eyes land on my awkward ass jumping up and down with a huge neon green sign above my head, he squints.

Coach Riley bringing the sunshine to your soul five years and counting! I love you, Knox! You are worth it! I got you, Cubby, and you’ve got this! I love you!

It was a lot to try to fit on the poster while still being big enough to read, but it was important every word was written.

Knox squints a little longer, and his expression doesn’t change.

My heart sinks, but I keep the poster in the air in order to make sure he knows I mean it. “I love you, Knox!”

The bell rings and I feel like I could cry again, but just as he gets to his feet, he looks back at me one more time, gives a barely there smile then points to his eye, his chest and then me.

He loves me.

He still loves me, and he knows I love him, that I support him, that he’s my everything and that is enough to have me collapsing into the chair behind me.

“I am so glad this is his last fight,” I mumble as I watch him touch gloves with Dirk before they start dancing around each other. “I literally might have had a heart attack if I had to do this regularly.”

Linda laughs. “He’s super anxious on fight days, turns into a real dick.” Then she sighs. “He was a mess when he got here.”

I chew my lip. “Really?”

“Yes dear. A total mess. He almost called the fight because he was convinced he’d lost you.”

I turn to her and blink. “What?”

Linda nods. “While I was braiding his hair, he kept going on about how he’s an ass, how he did exactly what he promised you he wouldn’t do and was seconds from walking out so he could go home and grovel.”

I wipe a tear from my cheek as I smile. “It was never like that. Just an argument. There isn’t anything Knox could do to make me walk away from him. He’s a bear, but he’s my bear.” Then I shrug. “I like him growly.”

“Thank god for that,” a deep voice says from the other side of Linda. “Most of us can’t handle him.”

I peek around her to see a man, a super attractive man almost as big and almost as sexy as my man with the same nose and jaw, his eyes lighter and hair darker, cut shorter and there’s a neat beard sitting under Buddy Holly glasses.

“I’m Blake.” He smiles, his smile almost identical to Knox. “The better looking one.”

“Oh my god.” An adorable, heavily tattooed woman says from his left, her bright blue eyes shining from a gorgeous face. “Ignore him.” She leans toward me, hand outstretched around a baby bump. “I’m Sidney, this idiot’s wife.”

“Hazel.” I smile. I like her. And him.

“Oh my god!” Another woman to Sidney’s left shrieks as she grabs my hands and practically pulls me across all their laps. “Is that an engagement ring?”

I nod slowly. “It is.”

“Oh my god, oh my god!” Her dark blonde dreads bounce right along with her obviously tall and curvy frame, her glasses slipping down her nose to reveal the most intense grey eyes I’ve ever seen. “Knoxy got engaged and didn’t tell anyone?!” Then she frowns. “Of course he did, the jerk. I’m Aggie, by the way.”

Ah. Baby sister.

I can see it now.

She doesn’t look as much like Knox and Blake, they favor Linda for sure, but you can definitely tell she’s their sister, especially since she seems to have the height that runs in their family. Plus, Knox said she looks more like their dad, the dirty blonde hair, grey eyes, and lighter complexion. But she does look like her brothers too, even has the same dimple Knox does in his right cheek.

“Let her go, Kitten.”

Jesus, how many people came to Knox’s fight?

But when Aggie finally does let go and I look up, holy shit, “You’re Noah Thorn!”

He grins, his pale blue eyes dancing. “And you are correct.”

“Noah Thorn. I’m sitting with Noah Thorn from Bleak December.” Then I really make an ass out of myself. “Oh my god, I’m sitting with Noah Thorn and Blake Morgan and Harper King. Holy shit . Holy shit! I’m dead. Holy shit. Oh my god and my fiancé is a CFA two-time heavyweight champ. Sweet baby goats, how is this my life?”

Seriously. How did someone like me end up here? I’m watching my world-famous fighter fiancé with two bestselling romance authors and the lead guitar for one of the biggest rock bands in the world. I’m fucking dead.

And Knox is never leaving me alone to deal with his family again.

“Calm down, honey.” Linda starts rubbing circles on my back. “Don’t need you hyperventilating before Knoxy wins.”

“At least we know she doesn’t give a shit about money or connections.” Noah chuckles. “If this girl just now realized who TKO is, she’s the perfect addition to our crew.”

“Ass.” Aggie swats at him. “But I agree. Welcome to our shitshow, Hazel.”

“You’re being paged.” Blake taps my arm, then nods toward the ring. “Better hurry, he’s only got a few seconds.”

I turn to see Knox standing at the cage, the third round ending while I made an ass out of myself and when he motions for me to get closer, I’m out of my seat and running, heels be damned.

“Knox!” I yell over the thousands of fans as he ignores his coach and crouches so we’re eye level. “Knox, Cubby, I?—”

“You’re here.”

I nod. “I couldn’t stay away. I had to be here, had to fight for you the way you fought for me. I love you and I’m going to support you through everything life has in store.”

He smiles around his mouth guard, the pretty one that’s only for me. “Yeah?”

“Yes, you big bear! Just because we argue doesn’t mean I don’t love you. We are forever, Knox, forever and always.” I stick my fingers through the cage, smiling when he links his with mine. “Now get back in there and knock that asshole the fuck out. You have a pussy to destroy later, and I want you wearing that belt when you do it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he growls and gives my fingers a squeeze. “Stay in my corner.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Then I smirk. “This is a way better view of your ass in those spandex shorts.”

Knox laughs. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too, now go win!”

And he does.

One minute and thirty-seven seconds after the bell rang on the fourth round, Knox TKO Riley knocked Dirk Chapman out cold with a left hook to his glass jaw.

Dirk dropped like a sack of potatoes, eyes rolled up into his head and when he came to, he started singing Christmas carols.

And my awkward ass was waiting on the top step for the second they opened the door to the octagon, ready to rush my champion in the middle of the ring.

“I am so proud of you!” I basically scream into Knox’s mouth as he hoists me in the air and kisses me breathless. “So fucking proud!”

“I couldn’t have done this without you.” He sighs as he presses his forehead to mine, completely ignoring the commentator trying to interview him. “Not just your treatments, I couldn’t have done this without you . Your love. Your support. Your unwavering belief in me. You made this happen.”

I shake my head, kiss away his tears, and let some of my own fall. “No, Cubby. You made this happen because you finally believed in yourself. It’s been there all along, your ability to take back your title, your life, you just needed to believe you deserved to have it all first.”

“I don’t need any of it though, just you, Sunny. I just need you.”

“You’ve got me, Knox. You’ll always have me.” Because I finally believe I deserve someone like Knox, and deserve to be happy. I deserve to have it all, too.