3. Mercy

The lookon his face right now was precisely why I didn't want to tell him what was going on. Once people knew I had a heart transplant, everything became about how I was doing and a million other questions. I ceased to exist as a person. I hated that look of terror on his face. I went from the woman he didn't want near his sweaty ball sack to the woman who was about to keel over right in front of him.

"So, now you know. Can we move on?"

He grabbed my arm, his eyes narrowing dangerously on me. "No, we can't move on. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I'm monitoring it. There's nothing more we can do until we get out of here."

His face turned positively livid at my response, but it was the truth. "I need to know these things. Christ, I had you running through the jungle!"

"And that's how we got out of there," I snapped. "If I'd told you, you would have been more concerned about whether or not I was going to die on you than how to get out without putting me in danger."

"Because that's my fucking job. I need all the necessary information so I get you home safely. That's what I'm paid for."

"Too fucking bad," I shot back. "If I was going to keel over on you, I'd let you know."

"Would you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me. "If you collapsed and were unconscious, how the hell would I know what was wrong with you?" He turned away from me, clearly pissed.

I waited for him to calm down, not wanting to poke the beast any further. I was a rational person. I knew damn well why he was upset, but as a doctor, I also knew that there was nothing he could do about my condition. Our focus had to be on getting out of here alive, and if I had told him what was going on with me several hours ago, his attention would have been split. Now that we were out of danger for the most part, we could move forward.

He finally faced me again, this time without the joking manner from ten minutes ago. "We're going to continue moving, and hopefully, we'll be able to contact my team. If at any time you're not feeling well, you need to tell me immediately and we'll stop."

"I'll be fine."

He shook his head with a humorless laugh. "If I hear that one more fucking time out of your mouth, I swear to God…"

"You'll what?" I asked, trying to hold back my laughter.

His eyes met mine and for the first time since I told him about my condition, he actually fucking smiled. "Just stop telling me you're fine."

"I'll choose a different word. Now, can we keep moving? I need a shower, so if we can get out of here, that would be great."

"Fine."

"And if I can't say I'm fine, you have to stop saying fine also."

"Are you gonna bust my balls the whole time we're out here?"

"Possibly. What are you gonna do about it?"

"I would kick your ass, but I'm pretty sure that's against company policy." He held out his hand to me. "Come on. Let's move and see if we can get the fuck out of here."

I raised an eyebrow at his outstretched hand. "Are you going to hold my hand wherever we go?"

"Yes, but if it makes you feel better, you can tell yourself it's because I like you."

A smile pulled at my lips, but I took his hand, refusing to argue any further. It wouldn't get us anywhere, and if it made him feel better, I could handle that.

"So, what is a woman with a heart transplant doing dragging her ass out into the jungle?" he asked as he started guiding me through the jungle, taking it slower than we had been.

I should have known the questions would start, but part of me hoped the grilling would be over. "I've been perfectly healthy since the transplant. I went to school to become a doctor and I finished my surgical residency, but I wanted to follow in my parents' footsteps before becoming addicted to my job."

"And what are their footsteps?"

"They work with Doctors Without Borders. I wanted to experience it."

"And they were okay with you doing this knowing about your condition?"

I winced as I recalled my parents' reactions when I told them. "Not at all. They didn't even want me to become a doctor because I would be in a hospital around all those pesky germs."

"So, what made you decide to take that route?"

"I guess morbid curiosity. I was around doctors all my life. I guess I wanted to know what made them tick."

"I would think it would be the opposite."

"And what about you? What made you decide to risk your life for others?"

He shrugged. "Nothing better to do."

The way he said it was so casual that it was impossible to believe. Whatever persuaded him to take this route, he wasn't about to divulge that information. And unlike him, I didn't feel the need to push for answers. His secrets were his own, just like my secrets were for me.

We moved through the jungle as quickly as we could, but it was obvious we weren't going to find the extraction point. By the time night was falling, I was dragging ass, and it had nothing to do with my heart condition. I was exhausted and hadn't eaten a real meal at all over the past two weeks.

"We should stop for the night," Chase finally relented. "You look like you're dead on your feet."

"I am," I admitted. My legs were killing me, and so were my feet. "Any chance you give foot massages?"

"I could be persuaded."

I was surprised at his offer. I wasn't serious at all. "I was just joking. Remember how you said you had a sweaty ball sack? Well, my feet are just as disgusting."

"I can wash my hands."

"Yes, but then I would never be able to convince you to sleep with me."

He looked surprised by my blunt statement. "Uh…"

"Relax," I chuckled. "I was trying to lighten the mood."

That was mostly true, but I didn't bother to look at his face to see if he was disappointed or not. I was surviving on pure humor and distraction right now. If he looked relieved, I might actually lose my fighting spirit.

"So, where are we sleeping for the night?"

He pointed up at the tree, never taking his eyes off mine. "We have to stay away from the wild animals as much as possible."

"Jungle cats can still climb trees."

"Yes, but it's less likely they'll eat us alive." He stalked over to where I was standing by the base of the tree and interlocked his fingers, making a step for me. "Come on. I'll boost you up."

I rested my hands on his shoulders, then placed my foot on his hands. For just a moment, my breath caught at how close I was to him. But then he hoisted me up and I focused on catching a branch so I didn't fall on my ass. The bark bit into my palms, but I didn't stop until I pulled myself up to the V where the branch connected to the tree. Just as I got situated, he was on the branch opposite me, grinning at me like a schoolboy.

"Impressed?"

I was tempted to roll my eyes at him, but refrained. I had a bad habit of rolling my eyes at people when they annoyed me. I had this feeling that by the end of the trip, it would be my one personality flaw that would annoy him to death.

"Yes! Oh. My. God," I said in a valley girl voice. "It was like, so impressive the way you climbed up here. I am so turned on right now."

"As I knew you would be, which is why I had to show off my skills."

I fanned my face, acting like a total girly girl. I actually was totally impressed and desperately needed to fan myself at his bulging muscles, and this act provided me with the opportunity without making a fool out of myself.

And as if he knew that's exactly what I was doing, he grinned at me, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "You are impressed. I can see it in your eyes."

"Shut up," I laughed. "You're so full of yourself." I ignored him by trying to get comfortable, but we were in a freaking tree. I doubted I would sleep well tonight. I rested back against the center of the tree, trying to ignore the way my heart beat irregularly in my chest. It wasn't bad right now, but it was worse than when we were in the hut.

"Scoot forward."

I jerked in surprise, glaring at Chase who was mere inches from my face. "Don't scare me or I'll push you out of the tree."

"Okay, I'll believe that when I see it."

"You don't think I'll do it?"

"Well, if it's a choice between shoving me out of a tree or being rescued and taking a shower, I'll bet on the latter. Now, scoot forward."

I did as he asked, a little surprised when he maneuvered his body between me and the tree, then pulled me back against his chest. "What are you doing?"

"Well, we're sitting in a tree and need to rest. So, I put myself between you and the tree so you can lean back against me. Then you're going to close your eyes and go to sleep while I keep watch."

"I know what you did, but why did you do it? You need sleep too."

He wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling me tighter against his body. "Someone has to keep watch. Don't worry. I'm used to this kind of stuff."

"It's not healthy to not get a consistent night's sleep. It's bad for?—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how much sleep have you gotten over the past two weeks? Trust me, I can handle this."

I bit my lip to keep from arguing with him further. The truth was, the moment he pulled me into his body, I felt like I might actually be able to get some sleep without waking at every noise. "Fine, but you wake me up if you need some sleep."

"I won't."

"You know, you're very stubborn," I said, yawning wide.

"I could say the same about you. Now, go to sleep."

My eyes were already drifting shut as I murmured, "Stubborn ass."

I swattedat the person shaking me. Didn't he know I was sleeping and I shouldn't be woken up? I told Elijah time and again that unless I was needed for an emergency, he should never wake the beast.

"Stop," I groaned, flinging my hand out to hit the menace who was disturbing my sleep.

"Mercy, you need to wake up."

"Ten more minutes."

"No. Now!"

The urgency in his voice forced me to open my eyes. But when I did, it wasn't Elijah who I saw. In a matter of seconds, I remembered the hell I was in. "Chase."

"You wouldn't wake up. It scared the shit out of me."

"It's called sleeping," I grumbled, rubbing my eyes.

He shook his head slightly, still staring into my eyes. There was a level of concern that I only saw when I was ten and my parents stared at me, wondering if I was going to make it through the night as I laid in my hospital bed.

"What?"

"Your heartbeat is erratic."

"It has been for days," I answered, shifting to an upright position. Chase had moved at some point, resting me back against the tree and was now sitting on the branch in front of me. His strong hands gripped my waist, holding me in place. Logically, I knew it wasn't sexual, but my body didn't know the difference. She was yelling at me to lay back down against his chest and feel his muscles ripple as he wrapped his arms around me. Of course, that wouldn't be enough. Despite only knowing him for less than a day and being stinky as all hell, I was craving his touch.

I cleared my throat, trying to appear normal. The last thing he needed was some woman fawning over him. "What's the plan for today?"

Instead of answering the question, he continued to stare at me, to dissect me while he searched for answers.

"What are we going to do for food this morning? I don't suppose you know how to skewer a wild animal," I chuckled.

I didn't think he was going to answer, but he finally broke eye contact and shifted into his smooth, easy-going demeanor. "I don't think killing a wild animal is quite the way to go yet. I still have some protein bars." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled one out and handed it over.

"Ooh, yummy," I said sarcastically.

"We need to keep moving. If we're lucky, my team is still in the area and can get us out."

"And if they're not?"

"We still have to keep moving. Don't worry, if we don't find them by tonight, I'll go all caveman and drive a long, pointy stick through an animal. Then we can build a fire and roast him."

"Mmm, animal intestines. Just what I've always wanted."

He grimaced. "You ruined the fantasy. Eat up. I'm gonna see if I can find us more water."

He swung down from the branch like he was Tarzan, then took off through the trees. Panic took over as he disappeared. What if he couldn't find me again? What if he got hurt and I couldn't reach him? I almost started climbing down the tree, but couldn't make myself do it. Down there, I wasn't protected. If a wild animal came along, I'd be breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

When had I become so reliant on this man? I'd barely known him a day and I was already scared to go anywhere without him. That was so unlike me. I didn't rely on anyone to do anything for me. Yet here, I was too scared to move from my position without him.

I shoved the last of the protein bar in my mouth, noting the tremor in my hands. I stared at the shaking and willed it to stop. After a few seconds, everything returned to normal.

"It's just because you're dehydrated and hungry," I told myself.

But that was a lie I would continue to repeat even when more symptoms appeared. Things would only continue to get worse with each passing hour. My body was exhausted and depleted of nutrients, my heartbeat was erratic, and if I was right, I had a low-grade fever. If we didn't get to help soon, I would be too far gone to fight the infection.

But the time to worry about that was later. It wouldn't do me any good to dwell on things I couldn't change. I had to keep pushing forward, otherwise it wouldn't matter if we got out or not.

Luckily, by the time I finished my protein bar, Chase returned. "Did you find any water?"

"There's a stream not too far from here, but I don't think it'd be wise to drink from it. Our best bet is to get more water when it rains."

"Well, that's likely to happen," I said, shielding my eyes as I stared up at the sky through the break in the trees. "It usually rains daily around here."

He waved for me to come down, then held out his hands to catch me if I fell. I turned around and shimmied down the tree, all too aware of the fact that my ass was right in his face. When he put his hands on my waist, I lost my grip around the tree and fell into his arms. I stood gripping the tree as his touch burned through my clothes, igniting a fire in my belly.

Then his hands shifted ever-so-slightly until his thumbs brushed against my bare skin under the hem of my shirt. My eyes drifted closed at his touch and my breath caught in my chest. I was caught in a hazy fog of desire, imagining his hands sliding further under my shirt, exploring every inch of my body. It had been too long since I'd had a real man's hands on me, and being out here alone with him, all I could think about was what it would be like to feel his skin sliding against mine as he took me and made me his.

"We should get moving."

His voice dragged me out of my thoughts, and even though his voice was rough, I knew now wasn't the time to think about how much I wanted him to fuck me. "Right," I chuckled, turning around with a smile, meeting his smoldering gaze.

But he didn't move, didn't even look away from my eyes. Instead, everything in his gaze said he wanted to kiss the hell out of me. I was about to step forward when he shifted away from me, breaking the spell we were both under.

"Are you ready?"

"Yep," I said as cheerily as possible.

He started out ahead of me, not taking my hand in his like he had yesterday. I knew it had nothing to do with not wanting me and everything to do with keeping distance from me. It was dangerous to fall for someone you were supposed to be helping. It was the same thing for doctors. There was a whole class on remaining professional when dealing with patients, especially terminal patients. If you got too close to a patient, your judgment would be compromised.

"So, you said last night that you do this a lot," I said as we headed out. "How often do you go out on jobs?"

"As often as necessary. But our teams at our company rotate jobs."

That was all interesting, but not really what I wanted to talk about. I didn't want this mundane conversation where we talked about our jobs. I wanted to know more about him—what made him tick.

"You said yesterday that you didn't want to lose another person. What did you mean?"

The moment the question left my lips, something changed in Chase. He kept walking, not answering my question. With every step, his muscles turned rigid.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to?—"

"It's fine," he said sharply.

"It was intrusive. I shouldn't have asked."

I walked in silence, paying extra attention to the ground, making sure I didn't trip over any roots sticking out of the ground. I knew better than to ask personal questions. Growing up, every time someone asked me questions about my heart surgery, I closed up. I hated that no one could talk to me about anything other than that. And having experienced that myself, I should have known better than to dive into the heavy stuff when I didn't even know him.

"It was a bad job." His voice surprised me, but it was the raw emotion in his voice that really caught me off guard. "We took an undercover assignment, and my teammate had to marry a woman to…"

When he didn't finish that thought, I just listened, waiting for him to go on. I had so many questions. Why were they undercover? Why would someone willingly marry someone else for a job?

"She wasn't okay mentally, and it only got worse over time. We missed all the signs that she was struggling. She tricked us, made us think she was doing better, but she was spiraling out of control."

"Depression?"

He nodded. "At her mother's funeral, she disappeared on us. She drove one of our vehicles right into a tree and died in my teammate's arms. He walked away from all of us that day."

I didn't even realize I stopped walking until he turned around. The devastation was clear, though he tried to hide it. For a man who had been through so much, he hid his pain well.

"You lost more than just a client that day."

He gave a slight jerk of his head. "I tried to get him back, but…it didn't matter what I said or did. He's gone."

"Maybe he just needs time. Everyone assumes that when you go through something emotionally draining you need people to get through it. Sometimes you just want to be alone."

"Is that what it was like for you?"

"Not always. When I was sick, I wanted my parents by my side. But when I was better, I just wanted to be left alone. I was tired of everyone hovering around me. I knew I was going to be fine, but they couldn't let go. They couldn't just let me live my life. It was exhausting trying to convince them that I would be okay."

"They almost lost you. It's hard to just walk away."

"Smothering someone only makes them want to leave even more."

"Yeah, I got that when I refused to leave Asher alone. I woke up the next morning and he was gone. Now I don't know where he is."

"If he wants to see you, he'll come around. You have to give him the chance to breathe—" I gasped, coughing for a few seconds as my eyes watered. Chase was by my side in an instant, but I brushed him off. The last thing I needed was him treating me like I was about to die. "I'm fine," I choked out.

"You're—"

"Fine," I snapped as the coughing subsided. "I just choked on my own spit. It's been known to happen."

He obviously didn't believe me, but I wasn't giving in. "Maybe we should take a break."

"We just started walking ten minutes ago," I said. "We can't stop just because I coughed."

"We also can't keep going if you're getting sicker. I can carry you."

I scoffed at that. "Are you kidding me? Let's just keep walking."

"But I?—"

"I don't need you to baby me," I snapped. "I know what I can handle. If I need help, I'll tell you."

I shoved past him, determined to keep going no matter what happened. It wasn't that bad yet. Yes, I had a low-grade fever and the tremors were starting, but if I kept going, we might actually make it out of here by nightfall. If Chase had to carry me everywhere we went, it would only slow us down.

I could collapse when we made it to safety.