27. Mercy

I pacedthe waiting room for any information on Chase. It had been hours since they brought him in, but the days he was missing before that were pure torture. I had asked for him repeatedly, but no one would tell me anything. Now I knew why. They didn't know where he'd gone.

"Do you want some tea?" Fox asked. "It has healing properties that settle the mind and?—"

"I don't want any fucking tea, Fox," I snapped.

At the injured expression on his face, I realized how much of a bitch I was being.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, taking the tea he offered. "I'm just stressed."

"You know, the old me would sing you show tunes and offer to have a day in bed watching a musical."

Thank God he wasn't his old self.

"But I've found a spiritual guidance that gives me a peaceful feeling, telling me everything will be okay."

"You don't know that," I grumbled, sitting down in the uncomfortable chair. "This isn't something that God or meditation can fix."

"Maybe it's not actually that bad," he offered, sitting beside me.

"He was seeing people and imagining things that weren't there. That's never a good thing."

"It could have been worse."

"In what way?"

"Well, in his mind, there were men after you and you died. This is a step up from that. Maybe we should reflect on the positive?—"

"No offense, Fox, but I have no desire to reflect on anything right now."

He was about to go on when the doors whooshed open and Lucy rushed through the doors. I ran into her arms and hugged her with everything I had. I was on the verge of falling apart, and I needed someone like her by my side.

She pulled back wide-eyed and shaking her head. "Girl, what the hell happened?"

"I don't know. I'm still waiting to hear from the doctor. I don't know if they'll even tell me anything. I'm not his family."

"This is insane. Like truly insane. You were on the run from nobody?" She winced as she said it, almost like she was disappointed.

"Yes, but we didn't know that."

"So, is he like…insane or something?"

I didn't want to think about that possibility right now. In fact, anything I considered wasn't good. If it was something in his head, then it might be fixed with surgery, but that would be dangerous. If it was a psychological issue…I wasn't even sure how to handle that. I wasn't completely familiar with steps that would need to be taken.

"Honestly, I almost wish it was something surgical. What if…what if none of it was real?"

"Well, of course it wasn't," she snorted. "You were on the run from someone he thought he saw."

"No, not that part. I mean…what if the connection I had with him is all fake?"

"Oh. I hadn't considered that."

"It's very possible. I mean, even Patrick said he was completely different around me. What if they can fix him, but everything changes? What if I lose him?"

She was quiet for a moment, then pulled me over to the chairs to sit down. "Well, if that's the case, it calls for a massive amount of alcohol, plenty of Dwayne Johnson movies, and a truck load of chocolate and potato chips. And as your best friend, I would have no choice but to stay with you for the weeks it would take to recover from the heartbreak. It'll be a rough job, but someone has to be there when you finally decide to break out of your food coma and go find some male strippers."

I huffed out a light laugh, the first I'd had in days. Swiping at my nose, I pressed my hands to my face. "God, I feel so lost."

She pried my hands away and grimaced. "Alright, enough of that. It's bad enough that the hottie is in the hospital with a potentially incurable problem, but now you look a wreck. Your mascara is smudged all over your face. You look like something out of a horror movie. If we're going to deal with this, we need fresh faces and a good dose of Carole King and wine."

"I'm pretty sure they wouldn't like us doing karaoke in the hospital."

"Girl, leave it to me. I've got this covered. Let's get you to the bathroom before you scare off everyone in sight."

I let her drag me to the bathroom and listened as she ranted about her latest date, the man who wouldn't let her go to the bathroom without walking her to the ladies' room. After being sufficiently creeped out, she snuck out through the window and hailed a cab. She had come prepared for a zombie apocalypse, with everything I would need from eye makeup remover to facial cream. I didn't dare put on any makeup since the chances of breaking out in tears again were too strong. By the time I walked out of the bathroom, I felt halfway normal.

"Mercy?"

"Yes?" I asked, turning to the man who approached. Decked out in full tactical gear, he had to be someone who worked with Chase.

"I'm Cash Owens, Chase's boss," he offered, holding out his hand.

"Oh, mama," Lucy mumbled beside me. I grasped her arm to keep her from falling over.

"It's nice to meet you. Is there any word on Chase?"

"Not yet. The doctors are still in with him."

That was disappointing, but I knew how things worked in a hospital. "Did anyone call his family?"

"They're on a flight right now."

I nodded, chewing my lip. "Is there any chance you can convince them to tell us what's going on?"

"I don't need to. When anyone works for OPS, I'm automatically given rights to medical records and information if one of my men is in the hospital. I've had the papers faxed over. But they don't know anything yet. They're still running tests."

That was disappointing, but I knew we wouldn't have answers immediately. "Is there any chance I can see him?"

Cash shifted uncomfortably. "Mercy…I don't know how to tell you this."

"What?" It couldn't be any worse than it was right now.

"He…doesn't want to see you."

Okay, it could be worse. That felt like a hammer slamming into my chest and leaving a gaping hole. He didn't want to see me?

"But…why?"

He shrugged. "I wish I knew."

"Short man syndrome," Lucy nodded.

"What?"

"It's the same thing," she shrugged. "Short men have to make up for their faults by being the smartest man in the room."

"He's not short," I snapped.

"No, but in a roundabout way, it's the same thing. He's the opposite of the short man because his brain isn't working right at the moment. What's he going to impress you with? His height? Better if he doesn't see you," she nodded.

I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous interpretation of events. "What's happening to him isn't his fault. If I could just see him, I could explain to him?—"

"I can't force him to see you. He's vulnerable right now?—"

Lucy snorted again. "I wasn't aware that word was in the tough man handbook."

"It's not," Cash winked at us. "But the fact is, he's really fucked up over what happened. He's not letting anyone in to see him."

"Maybe you could point us in the direction of one of his friends," Lucy piped up. "Preferably one of his single friends."

I smacked her on the arm. "What? Single, because he'll be less likely to understand the ins and outs of a relationship. Maybe we can convince him to see things from our point of view."

"Sure, that's what you meant," I sighed.

"Hey, there's no point in avoiding all the hotness while I'm here. It could be a while. I can't let all that flirting go to waste."

"I think Patrick is looking for some company," Cash said, pointing him out.

Lucy shot me a pleading look. "Go." There was no point in holding her back. She would just stare at the man for the next three hours.

"Mercy, I have to ask…" Cash started. "Did you notice anything strange about Chase while you were with him?"

"I've been asking myself that same question since your men found me in the hospital."

"Jason?" he asked.

"Yeah. When I woke up, Patrick was in the room with me. When Jason entered, I thought something else was going on. I had no idea someone from the company was tracking us. All of this took me by surprise."

"I can imagine."

I thought back on everything that happened for the hundredth time. "I didn't really notice anything strange. You have to understand, when we were in the jungle, Chase saved my life. I trusted him implicitly. So, when he told me what he saw, I had no reason not to believe him. And he believed it so strongly. I just never thought to question it."

"I guess what I'm wondering is when the symptoms began. Did you notice anything while you were in the jungle?"

I shook my head. "No, there really were men chasing us. They shot at us. I—Patrick said he was different around me. Was he right?"

I hoped Cash would tell me Patrick was just being a jerk or something. That would make this whole thing easier. But by the look on his face, Patrick wasn't wrong.

"Look, I really can't say. This is the first time I've met you."

"But from what Patrick's told you…"

"Yeah, it's pretty different from how he normally is," Cash admitted. "But that doesn't mean that it has anything to do with what's going on. Maybe he really is different around you because of what the two of you share."

It was a nice thought, but if he had a tumor or something, that could be affecting everything about his personality, meaning the man I fell in love with might not actually exist.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Just hang in there. Try not to think about what might happen. We still have a long road ahead of us. Maybe you should go to a hotel and get some sleep."

"I don't have one. I didn't…I don't have anything," I admitted, feeling so lost.

"I'll put you up at our hotel. We have a block of rooms and our teams are taking shifts between the hotel and here. I'll have Jason take you back when he goes off shift."

I nodded, though I didn't want to leave the hospital. I hadn't slept much over the past few days, and I doubted that would change much anytime soon. But time away from the hospital might help me gain some perspective, and help me figure out what to do from here.

"So, Jason,"Lucy grinned, peeking between the front seats of the car. "What do you do for fun?"

"That depends on your definition of fun," Jason responded. I got the feeling from his somewhat dull response that Lucy was way too much for a guy like him. He was so…stiff in comparison. But Lucy did love a challenge.

"Drinks, dancing, sex…any and all of those."

His eyes flicked to the rearview mirror before returning to the road. "We have very different definitions of fun."

"Really?" she asked, twirling her hair the way she always did when she was trying to draw attention to her breasts. "Not even sex?"

"Sex isn't fun. It's a release," Jason grumbled.

"And fun. What's the point in doing the horizontal mambo if you're not going to enjoy yourself?"

"I never said I didn't enjoy myself."

I glanced over at her, catching the disappointed look on her face. She definitely wasn't drawing him over to her side. Not that I could blame him. Lucy was a handful—someone I happened to love with all my heart. Even now, none of this show was actually about her. It was a distraction for me. Lucy always had a way of making other people feel better and forget their problems. She just wasn't that good about doing it for herself.

She slouched back in her seat with a sigh. "I wish I'd brought my vibrator with me. It's gonna be a long night."

When she didn't get the response she wanted, silence descended in the car, making it even less comfortable than when Jason asked me if I was ready to go. He had this intensity to him that was so different from Chase. Well, the Chase I'd come to know. Now that they knew something was wrong with him, would he change too?

"He'll be fine," Jason said gruffly, almost as if he knew what I was thinking.

"You don't know that. We don't even know what's wrong."

"We'll know more by tomorrow," he said as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. He turned and gave Lucy a keycard. "218." The pointed look he shot her made it clear she was supposed to vacate the car now.

With a huff, she shoved the door open and got out. Once she was inside, Jason turned to me. "He was just trying to protect you."

"I know that," I said, a little uncomfortable that he assumed I didn't think so.

"He would do anything for you."

"I don't need you to tell me what he'd do for me. I'm well aware."

"But will you do the same for him?"

My jaw dropped at the inference. "Excuse me, but we barely know each other?—"

"And he's about to have his head sliced open."

The bomb dropped like a lead balloon, leaving me breathless. A million thoughts ran through my head, everything from the reasons they would need to do surgery to the possible side effects. But even with my medical brain flipped on, I still didn't seem to understand what he just said. "What?"

"He has a tumor. Surgery is first thing tomorrow morning."

He had a tumor, as I suspected. Which most likely meant it was in the frontal lobe. It explained the hallucinations perfectly. It needed to come out, but the frontal lobe was responsible for so much. It controlled his motor functions, his language and memory, his impulse control and…

His social behavior.

I closed my eyes as Patrick's words reverberated in my head. He was different around me. That could all change. Yet…if his behavior around me really was because of the tumor, he would be different with everyone. At least, I was pretty sure that was the way it worked. I wasn't a neurologist, but my training told me—made me hope—that everything I shared with Chase wasn't all an act.

I swallowed hard at all he was about to go through. I didn't want to be here. I needed to be at the hospital with him, where I could support him and?—

"He doesn't want you here."

My attention shifted back to him. Did he just…

"He doesn't want you around him," he repeated.

There was no sympathy or remorse in his voice, only plain facts. It was like he was reciting information. Pain lanced through my chest as I took yet another hit. Deep down, I knew that all patients responded differently to life-altering news like this. I couldn't control his reactions to what was happening, but to shut me out so completely…

"Look, I know you want to be there for him, but he put your life in danger. He doesn't trust himself right now, and that means he needs to keep you as far away from him as possible. You need to give him this."

"But I could stay away. I could wait in the?—"

He shook his head immediately, shutting down any thoughts I had of sneaking back in. "He wanted you to go home. Cash told him he would take care of it, but then instructed me to bring you to the hotel. It'll be so much worse if he finds out you were there. Give him the time he needs."

It went against everything in me to walk away, but I swallowed down my wants and needs for the man I loved. When tears pricked my eyes, I sucked them back and refused to let them fall. This was not the end. It was a speed bump in the road. And when his surgery was done, I would fight like hell to be part of his life again.

"Will I get updates?"

"Every time we get them, you'll get them."

He pulled out a phone and handed it over. "Company phone. You're lucky. Not many girlfriends get these, but Cash made an exception for you."

I nodded and took it. I supposed I should feel special, but the devastation of being kept away was too real. "What am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

"Get some sleep. Order food. Everything's on OPS. And don't go anywhere without one of us."

That gave me pause. "Why? I'm not in danger. Cash told me everything that happened was in his head."

He sighed, turning away from me. "Whether Chase wants to admit it or not right now, you're still his woman. And if anything happened to—even a fucking hangnail—he'd have our asses. It's our job to keep you safe while he can't. So, if you need something, you ask one of us to take you. Patrick is staying across the hall from you. All you have to do is ask and he'll take care of anything you need."

I nodded.

"Within reason," he said pointedly, reminding me that Patrick wouldn't sneak me into the hospital. He pulled out a small bag from his jacket and handed it over. "Your pills."

I huffed out a laugh. "You really did think of everything."

"Like I said, Chase would kill us if anything happened to you."

That thought alone would have to keep me warm at night until this was all over. Until Chase woke up from surgery and realized he still wanted and needed me in his life. Then our lives could finally begin, and nothing would stop me from being by his side.