27. Chapter 26

When I wake, the fire is roaring nearby. Stone has grown colder as clouds lay low in the sky, casting a white haze over the top of us. Some of the mountain"s peaks in the distance have caps of white atop them. Making for a beautiful landscape if it were not so deadly. I have slowed us down enough already. We need to get going if we are going to make it before the snow falls.

A savory scent fills my lungs. When I turn to the fire, I see a rabbit on a spit. Kirian"s bow and arrows resting against a stump nearby. Kirian sits with his arms hung over his knees, one hand rotating the rabbit and the other held up to capture some of the fire"s warmth.

He takes a quick second glance at me when he notices that I am awake. My throat feels dry, and my head pounds when I try to sit up, so I stay put. I hear the crumbling of pine needles as Kirian shifts.

He clears his throat before he speaks. "Hungry?" he asks. Yes, I can"t remember the last time that I had something of sustenance in my stomach. Looking at the position of the sun, I was only asleep for a few hours, but my stomach growls like I haven"t eaten in days. I nod my head in response, followed by a small "Yes." My mouth is so dry.

"I"m sorry." I tell Kirian as I wipe the sleep from my eyes. "about last night-"Kirian lets out a sigh and shakes his head, but I continue, "I shouldn"t have reacted like that towards you… I"m just afraid-"but I stop when I notice he is no longer paying attention. He walks over to me and places his hand on my forehead before taking a damp cloth and laying it over my forehead. "What are you doing?" I ask, my brows scrunch together in confusion.

He doesn"t answer right away, and I start to wonder how upset I have truly made him. Then, "How are you feeling?" he asks as I take the cloth from my head and discard it nearby.

"I- I"m fine," I reply. He"s acting so strange. Something must have happened while I was asleep. I just needed a few hours. I wasn"t feeling myself. "Why? What is going on?"

"You"ve been asleep for two days." He rings the cloth out on the ground. "A fever." He says plainly. "In and out for the last few hours." There"s that soldier voice again. Only using phrases that get the correct information out as quickly as possible.

A fever, that explains the mirage of the woman. Not to mention the dreams that filled my sleep. Some were nightmarish, Augustine"s hands through my hair, a pinched look of concern on his face. Which seems impossible considering he would never be worried about me. After all, he was set on having me killed.

Another image of Cora hovering above me, her hands outstretched, healer"s hands. Blue light spilling from the tips of her fingers. All in my head, of course. Again, easily identified as a nightmare due to her hatred for me. She would never heal my wounds.

Others were not as terrifying. My cheeks warm at the thought as the dream comes back to me in images. A hard body pressed against my own, his chest steady with ins and outs. I didn"t see a face, but it was Kirian, I know it. That dream felt all too real because it had happened once before at the Inn when his hands were gripping my back, pulling me into him. I shake my head, trying to get rid of the image. When that doesn"t work, I sit up, which only makes things worse because now our faces are close together, so close that I can smell him, mint, and musk.

Thankfully my head hurts so bad that I have to rest it on the inside of my palm, diverting my attention away from Kirian. From the corner of my eye, I see his hand reach up to comfort me. It hovers there for a moment. The Shadows rush forward slightly as if the touch is a threat. He thinks better of his decision, setting his hand back down at his side.

"Come on, let"s get you something to eat" he says and heads for the fire again, he peels the leg from the rabbit and hands it to me. When I eye the leg with apprehension, Kirian pushes it towards me further. "Just try." With one bite, I know he is right. I needed something to eat. He sinks back down near me, further than he was just a moment ago, I note.

My stomach is now full, and my head has stopped its incessant pounding. "You tagged a rabbit." I tease. "With your shooting skills?" I ask sarcastically while taking another bite so as not to waste it. An image of Kirian"s arrow just above mine on the target comes to mind.

"I am no Katsia Luz, but I got the job done." He smiles through the left side of his mouth. I ignore the skipped heartbeat that smile causes.

One second it"s all smiles and jokes and the next his face falls. "Your Shadows don"t like me." he turns so that he can see what I"m sure is pure shock on my face. I almost choke on what"s left of the rabbit in my mouth. He leans back on his arm and lets the realization settle over me.

He clears his throat in the way he does when he"s uncomfortable. Kirian lifts his arm, rolls his sleeve at the cuff and shows me a hand shaped bruise. The purple, blue, and yellow in contrast to his light skin. I did that? Or rather someone did it for me. My eyes widen and guilt pulls at my chest. I run a finger over the discolored flesh.

Shit. This is bad, so bad. "How long have you known?" I ask, ashamed.

"I felt…something… before, in the jail, just a fleck of your magic, then it was gone." The memory floods my thoughts taking me back to the moment when my vision blurred, and I could have sworn they were ready to tear, Kirian, to shreds. "Once I knew what it felt like, it was easy to spot. Outside the school." He almost laughs. "You didn"t even notice." I think back, and he is right. I thought I saw them move, even thought I heard them after Lord Andres informed me of my nearing death, and the truth about Kirian"s sweet words were finally revealed to me. "Not again until we got here. When you-" He inspects the bruise once more, and his words trail off.

"I didn"t think that they could do that." I try to layer my emotions so that the correct one is at the forefront. Although I am amazed at my gift, the one that had hardly helped me before, left me to be beaten, forgotten by my family, the one that took me to Hansel Luz to die, held me captive in its unending embrace. That gift had protected my unconscious body.

But I should feel guilty, after all, I harmed Kirian with that same gift. "I"m sorry, truly," I tell him, and I am, I didn"t ask them to do that. I"ve never asked them for anything.

"I don"t blame them." He shrugs. His jaw clenches once, twice.

"What is it?" I ask as he rubs his hand over his chin.

"Listen, I have to tell you something. You need to remain calm, you-." But I am no longer listening.

Three cups are lined up on a rock near the fire. Three. There are only two of us, and one of us has been unconscious, so whose is that?

Kirian"s bow, it"s also different. I"ve stared at his back for days and days with that very bow strapped behind him. I"ve memorized the red fabric that circles its shaft as a cushion for his large hand. There is no fabric. Maybe it fell off. I try to convince myself.

The Shadows snake out of their hiding spots just as curious as I am. "Kirian." It comes out faint, strained, not quite a question. My eyes are now locked onto those cups, what they symbolize. Betrayal. One of the Shadows drags its fingers across the rims of silver. "Kirian," I say louder now, ignoring the bile that threatens to expel from my stomach. He follows my gaze. He sees what I see. He knows. The pieces come together so fucking easily. "What have you done?"

He stands, placing his hand in front of him as he begins to explain.. "You were so sick." He tries. "You wouldn"t be here if I didn"t." his words ring true. There is no light that falls from his mouth. He is not trying to convince me. He really did think I was on the brink of death. Still, someone must have known we were here, and who would have told them if not Kirian.

"How?" I ask. Say it was Claire. Say it was anyone but you. But Kirian just shakes his head. "How. Did. They. Know. We. Were. here?" I try again with a much firmer voice. Again, he says nothing. He knows that whatever words he says next will be nothing but lies. Lies that I can see, and I think he knows that as well.

I reach for my nearby boots and struggle to get them on my feet. I"m so tired, so weak, damn these laces. Then I reach for my jacket, throwing it over my body as I stand. My head spins, my legs threaten to come out from under me. Kirian mumbles something under his breath, but I pay no attention. I need to get out of here. I have to. With or without Kirian.

The bow, the Shadows point.

I lunge forward but I have been incapacitated for two days so my legs are not at full strength. So slow, I curse at myself.Kirian reaches for it as well and just as his hand grazes the weapon as it lays over the rock. "No." I say to him, as the words leave my mouth, his body flies backward, and his arms and legs flail as he tries to find his balance. The air leaves his body as he hits the trunk of a tree, hard. He holds the back of his head with one hand and props himself up with the other. When his hand comes away, it shines bright red.

This time, unlike during my interrogation, the Shadows do not skitter, dissipate. Because I do not feel bad. Never will I again, this is who Kirian is. Finally, the real Kirian, no masks. A trickster, a cheat. Darkness surrounds me, they stand at my sides, waiting for me to move so that they may follow. He knows all too well that I have put all the pieces together. There is no mistaking the anger behind his eyes.

"How much of it was true?" I shout at him. He has barely had time to recover from the way the Shadows threw him. He wipes the blood from his hand onto his trousers. His eyes scan the trees before landing on me. Behind him, beside him, the apparitions wait for his answer just as I do.

"I. knew. it." he says instead, the words come between heavy breaths. Wrong answer. Kirian looks around at those who surround him, my Shadows, my companions, my gift.

He can see all of them because I have finally let them be shown. Even to me, the once blurred figures are now full beings with arms and legs, each unique in their stances, some with more masculine builds and others with long flowing hair and wide hips. They peek out from behind the trees, surrounding him as well as me.

As if he senses their unease, their readiness, willingness, "It was the only way." He tells us in a hurried excuse. Damn, already on the brink of begging for his life. As he should.

"Only way for what?" my voice doesn"t sound like it belongs to me. It sounds louder, stronger.

He opens his arms and gestures for me to take a look around. "You led us to Shadow Gate. It had to be your own choice." He admits. "Gods, it was so easy." He almost laughs. "They were so ready to believe that you had no power, but I saw it." He pauses and sucks in a breath as he adjusts his posture. "We have been looking for you. You have no idea how long we have waited."

We? As in Kirian and The Spent?

I am here. And this is what I wanted. What she wanted.

"You have done well, Katsia." The woman"s soft voice whispers to me. But I am confused because I have not done well at all. I have failed.

"I know what you are after." I tell Kirian in a last ditch effort. "The weapon. I know it exists." My words started strong, confident. But it ended soft and unconvincing.

Kirian laughs. Fucking laughs.

"Oh, it exists alright." He tells me, his eyes rolling back into his head. He has lost a lot of blood, but I have no time to worry about his life. After all, he has never cared about mine. "She will use it to open the gates to Understone." He lets out a ragged breath. "Finally."

She.Tricked, jailed, kidnapped, trained. All for me to be here, right now, right where they want me. The Shadows all move at once, towards me, comforting me as I nearly collapse.

Kirian looks at me as if he actually feels bad. As if he cares, and that absolutely pisses me off. His head lulls backwards, creating a wet smack on the trunk of the tree.

"You thought you could take it away from us just like that." It, as in magic. "You thought you were the chosen one." He is barely conscious at this point, but he just keeps going. "She doesn"t want you to close the gate between Stone and Understone." He laughs at my stupidity.

"She wants me to open it." I complete his thought.

There it is again, that burning sensation in the back of my head, the one that lets me know I am not alone.

The dreams that plagued my fevered mind. Not dreams at all. I whip my head around furiously, momentarily taking my attention away from injured Kirian. Whoever he is working with must be nearby. Run. I scan the trees beyond the broken city, it"s my best bet.

My Shadows move as I do. I am so slow. My body is still recovering from illness.

They pull me in the direction of the old city, away from Kirian. I follow them, or at least I try. More and more of them come from the trees, from beneath me, from my own darkness that I cast on the ground.

The trees shake, and the crumbling bits of brick fall from old buildings. The darkness swirls around me in a relentless storm, blocking out my vision. I can no longer see an escape or Kirian.

It only takes me a second to realize that these Shadows do not belong to me.

In fact I am useless against whatever surrounds me now. My apparitions pull at me, begging me to run, some are swept away in the smoky wind. Take me away. I beg of them. I will not be afraid this time, "Take me away," I say aloud.

Nothing happens. I try to use my remaining strength to get away. I take a step forward, my hair spills over the side of my face with the wind, its long strands wrap around my neck and torso. My feet threaten to come out from under me as I continue. I do not stop. Instead, walk into the storm further, into the wall of black. Soon, the air is pulled from my lungs, and I can"t seem to breathe it back in. Still, I move forward.

Just another step, then run, I tell myself, forcing my other foot forward, then reaching an arm out to pierce the black. For a moment, I think that I see the swirling black cloud"s part for me.

Crack. The chilling sound of snapping bone, followed by intense pain. My arm is slammed down to my side. Something digs into my wrist, sending a spike up to my shoulder. My left hand is broken and bound. I wince with every gust of wind against exposed bone.

Just. One. Step.But I can"t, my feet are bound as well. Vines grow all around me, up my thighs and around my arms. They slither up to my face, around my neck, crackles of light dance around my vision before I start to fade. This is the end. I tell myself.

Darker, darker. It feels like I"m falling. This is what death feels like. With my eyes closed, I see my pathetic life flash before me. I did nothing. I was nothing, insignificant.

The walls fall, the wind stops howling. The vines release their pressure slightly. I blink heavily, and my sight begins to return. I gasp for air, but my lungs fill with fire. Or what feels like it.

The first person I see is Ava, her small body firm in her stance. Her arms outstretched, her palms facing me as she holds the vines across my body, releasing the tension on my neck slowly but it does nothing to ease the pain.

An eye, not her own, stares back at me. Ava has taken The Vow. There, on the palm of her hand, is the mark that separates her and everyone else who has taken it from the rest of the world.

My heart breaks when I see what she has become. Her once gentle gift is being used to drain the life from me. Just the way The Spent intended for her to be. My body falls at the realization. The vines that were holding me upright are now around my ankles, I don"t try to catch my fall. Not caring about the sharp burning sensation as I slam to the ground. Thorns embed into the thin flesh of my knees.

Beyond Ava is Cora. She kneels before Kirian, her hands outstretched over his body, healing him. Kirian lays limply against the tree. What have I done?

My attention snaps to the other Shadow wielder, his eyes alight as they were when I first saw him outside of Thorn Row. Augustine. His body becomes a blur, and then my vision clears. He steps closer. A blur. Clear.

Hehas been taking people to The North. He has been trying to find the weapon and open the gates. They can"t. I won"t let them. Magic is evil. It was not meant to be on Stone.

Understone, a place that was once thought to not even exist. But I knew, the woman told me, and I"ve all but confirmed it for them by coming here.

Return the weapon to Understone. The war. The one fought all that time ago. When the realms were split. She wants me to- she said I can rid of magic on Stone forever. They are not meant to have it- wield it to be used in armies and given to servants to benefit royals. Jailed, taken, trained. It"s not meant to be that way.

"The weapon shall be used to open the gates." She confirms Kirian"s earlier words.Stone spins beneath me.

"No- you promised." I can"t tell if I say the words aloud or not.

"Then you will close them." A long pause. "After I take back what is mine. Stone will not have my magic any longer. In fact, it will have nothing when I am done with it." Gravity threatens to have its way with me.

"You lied," I tell her.

"Not a lie. The weapon will be returned to Understone, after I am done with it."

My world collapses. I thought I had finally found a way to be useful. To be worth something. All I had to do was this one thing.

My Shadows, my loyal companions, surround me in a protective circle. Their voices, soft and apologetic, fill my ears as they express their regret for their weakness. But they are not weak. No, it"s me who is weak.

I burn with anger. At myself. At Stone. At those who have wronged me.

"You will get your revenge, child." She sings. The ground rushes towards me, and I can hardly keep my eyes from rolling into the back of my head. Her presence is stronger than ever.

Before I hit the forest floor, with its hidden cobblestone streets, warm arms wrap around my torso, keeping me upright.

Scarred pink X"s litter the tan skin. My chin hits my chest. All I can do is stare and stare at those X"s holding me up until my eyelids become so heavy that I can"t stop them from falling. "You will do this one thing for me, child. We will both get what we want in the end."

Then the world goes black.