25. Chapter 24

Kirian has assured me that with the papers in hand, it will be easy to get through Thorn Row. Still, I can"t stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong. I"m obviously wanted by The Spent if what Damien said is true. Not to mention whoever wants a chunk of change lining their pockets for turning me in.

The gates open, and a woman in a tan Guard uniform walks towards us. Kirian has long since changed his clothes into citizen attire, which he bought from a traveler that we passed. He was also headed into Thorn Row to sell his merchandise. While I have wrapped my hair in religious garb to conceal some of my features. It"s white silken fabric long enough to hide my hair. The dress made from the same fabric is plain, mostly comfortable, as comfortable as a dress can be anyway. Kirian snickered as I picked it out but did not protest. It was the loosest fitting garment I could find, no corset, no lace or frills.

The woman takes our papers. Then, looks between the two of us. She eyes me wearily for what feels like an eternity, sending paranoid spikes of anxiety down my spine. She holds it up to the sun for further inspection. Then, takes one last look at the papers to read the name, my name, or at least the one Damien put on paper for us. "Mrs. Thurrow." She says with a nod of approval. "Mr. Thurrow," she then says to Kirian, who stands beside me, her tone softening. She gives him the same once-over as all the rest of the women who look in Kirian"s direction. I ignore it. "Safe travels." She resumes her post, awaiting the next who enters. I note that this is the second time I am known as Kirian"s false wife.

I am thankful for the bustling streets. The more people there are, the harder it will be to spot two individuals on the run. Although it makes concealing our identities easier, hiding my gift here has not been so easy. Their apparitions were easy to spot on our journey when it was just the two of us. Now I am finding it hard to decipher between the movements I see in my peripheral. Are they human or Shadow? We are almost done gathering things for our journey through the mountains, and I have managed not to raise suspicions, neither Kirian"s nor the people around us.

Before I can move out of the way, a flood of people surround us, or maybe we walked right into them. All I know is that they are too close, all of them. They suffocate me. They talk amongst each other in a language that I do not understand. They brush past me as if I do not exist. The women are dressed in robes of many colors, the men in black or white. Their group carries the thick smell of a strong floral perfume, a nice scent when it"s not all around you.

The Shadows whisper to me, a warning, for what I do not know.

The traveler"s step between me and Kirian, separating us from one another. My breath becomes short and quick, and an ache starts in my chest. I push out the fear, the same as I did when Christoph was inside my head. I try to step between two men, but they block the path that would lead me to Kirian, whose head is turned as he walks away, freeing himself from the crowd of people.

When I finally get past the blur of colors, I"ve now lost sight of Kirian completely. I search each face frantically, but none of them are him, and some are faceless altogether. The panic that has been building within me comes to the surface when I realize that I am alone.

The Shadows groan in what I think is discomfort, the same that I feel. They promise to take me away if I wish. "No" I say quietly to them. I receive a strange look from the woman nearby.

The heat from the day amplifies every bit of panic that I feel. My stomach stirs. I try to collect myself in the shade of a vendor, a man who sells fruit. He watches me as I brace myself against the wooden edge of his cart. "How can I help you miss?" he asks.

I try for a smile. It"s difficult to keep it plastered to my face as I reply. "Just looking," I say through struggling breaths and gritted teeth. Fuck.

"Go North."The woman"s voice has the thunder in my chest dissipating. My thoughts slowly become clear once more. Go North, I tell myself. If Kirian is to find me again, it will be there. And if he does not find me, I will go alone. I know my role in this life, with Kirian or not.

I begin to move, but as I turn from the now annoyed vendor and towards the crowds of people once more, a man catches my attention, stumbling out from behind a building. His steps are uneven, drunk. Cedric. A man follows behind him, shouting with a shake of his fist. Something about payment.

Cedric doesn't hear him, or at least he doesn't turn around. For a split second, I am afraid. Then I take a better look at the pathetic man before me. Hardly able to stand or speak. Hardly a man at all.

I continue my steps, keeping distance between us until Cedric becomes a blur, then, nothing at all.

That is until another familiar face crosses my path. Her brown curled hair frames her face. Her piercing eyes and catlike smile growing as she looks at me. She grabs a red apple from a nearby crate and holds it out to me. Claire.

A pretty penny in the east for a lass with hair as black as yours. The Boogie Man"s words pop into my head. Claire has had to have heard of it. She most likely knows everything if she is part of The Spent. Not to mention the whole seeing the future part. For all I know, her appearance here at the markets is no coincidence.

Claire moves in such a swiftness that it almost seems as if she is floating closer to me over the short distance between us. Her milky complexion and red lips that I know entice men to use her services. "Found what you were looking for yet?" she purrs. I do not answer. I shoot her an estranged look before stepping past her, and she does not stop me. Unfortunately, the white fabric that covers my hair does nothing to deter her. She knows exactly who I am. "Your yellow-haired beauty has evaded you." She says as she turns, taking a step with me.

She follows as I pretend to be interested in the next vendor"s furs. She does not leave my side, as if we are two friends perusing what Thorn Row has to offer, even as we begin walking in the middle of the busy street. I am unsure of what direction. I have no room to think. Between all the noise and the panic that lay just beneath the surface. I need to get out of here.

Men ogle her as we pass, turning their heads slightly so that their wives do not notice. Pigs. I am careful to keep my hands at my sides, concealing my palms, although I have a feeling that she does not need to see them as she did before to know my future. "I wonder who he seeks?" she says into my right ear. "What do you think he speaks of that you are not allowed to hear?" Her whisper tickles my left now. Is she suggesting that Kirian separated us on purpose? And how did she move so quickly?

There is no use in ignoring her, and she hasn"t drawn any attention from the guard that stands on the corner. She would have turned me in by now, right? My decision to face her was quick and ill thought out. Especially when I see her lips curl in satisfaction as I fall right into her trap. "Tell me what you know." I demand.

"Everything." She almost hums, pointing a slim finger at the eye that takes up the space on her forehead. What an annoying answer. "But if it"s about the boy, I do not need magic to tell you how he feels." Her words linger for only a moment, a tinge of satisfaction in my chest. I push that feeling away.

It does not matter, not right now, when everything is confusing, and I am on my way to end a century-old war.

"What of me? You saw it once before, my fate. What does it hold?" She fiddles with a golden locket before taking another step. I follow her this time.

"What I see, they see." She turns to me. Stopping us in the middle of a busy cross-section where you can smell meat curing from one side and the floral-scented candles on the other.

I know what she means when the eye seems to stare right back at me. "And it wouldn"t be much fun that way, would it?" she adds. I am unsure if this is a courtesy or not. Two sides to the same coin. To use her magic would be to give me away. Yet, if I was told of my future, who knows what I could do with the information.

So, I will take her bait and ask her what she so desperately wants me to. I cross my arms and widen my stance. "Where is Kirian?" I ask, annoyed. She smiles, but not at me. She looks past me. Someone shoves me from behind, I turn to scowl at the face that has almost knocked me over, but they have already moved along.

"We need to leave." Kirian comes from seemingly nowhere and pushes me out of the markets, North, towards the gate that leads to the mountain. I search for Claire amongst the quickly disappearing people, but she is gone. Like she was never there. My question will have to be answered by someone else.

"Where were you?" I demand once we are on a side street nearing the outskirts of the city.

"I had to take care of something," he says. His head is on a swivel, and he keeps glancing behind us. Is someone after him? A bead of sweat slides down his temple.

"You could have told me. You left me," I half shout, to which Kirian sighs but does not acknowledge me. He keeps his stride. I wish I could scream, but there are still many houses around and probably guards this close to the wall. "Who did you see?" I ask, Claire"s words dance around my head. Is this what she wanted? Still, I cannot help it. I need to know.

Kirian stops, holding out his arm to stop me as well. I barely avoid running into him. Then he turns to me, accusation in his words, "What did she tell you?" He holds me in place, his hands so large that they cover my shoulders entirely. I have no time to answer before he continues. "You can"t believe a word out of her mouth, Katsia." He shakes me slightly with each word.

"Oh really? I should not believe her?" The words are coming out of my mouth faster than I can think. They sting, even to me.

His lips curl into disdain. He removes his hands from my shoulders, then takes a step away from me and walks on without another word. He doesn"t look behind him to see if I am following him. I am.

We leave the gates the same as we came. A guard takes our papers with a warning not to travel outside of the villages of the North. We pretend to listen, to take heed. Then we walk right out and begin down the road in uncomfortable silence.

Night falls, and Kirian silently hands me a bedroll. Then, he pulls out another one for himself. I notice a few extra things he now carries that must have been picked up from the market in Thorn Row.

He climbs into his, which is noticeably further from me than he has slept since we began in Fauna.

My legs thank me when I climb into the leather, giving them a much-needed rest. There is no talk of who will keep watch. The only noise coming from the grass as it blows under a slight breeze and the uneven breathing of an obviously still conscious Kirian. It"s getting much colder the further we travel, evident by the clouds that escape me as I breathe.

Some time passes, I can"t help but shift uncomfortably as I try to will myself to sleep. I lay one way and then the other, a rock lodged at my side. I let out an exasperated sigh and shift again. Quickly realizing that I will not be getting any rest tonight. Hopefully, Kirian is already asleep or has the decency to pretend he is.

But when I sit up and look over at him, he is already watching me, his head propped up on a fist.

His stare has me frozen. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he says so seriously, his sharp jaw set in place. The bone protruding further with his knuckles pressed into his cheek.

"Yes." is all I say before rolling over onto my side in a huff and pulling the leather back over my head, regretting my earlier decision. I am still angry at him. He still has not answered my question. I have answered all his questions, including ones that I did not want to answer, if his memory serves from our time spent at the jail.

Suddenly I start to panic, "Do you?" I ask as I jolt up from the ground again. He is still on his side, watching as if he knew that I was not done. "I can do it on my own. I only asked you to take me to Thorn Row. I told you-"a knot forms where words are supposed to come out. "I told you I would go North alone."

"I told you I would take you away from there. Although I"m not sure what you could possibly find in The North." His eyes narrow in accusation. "We could go anywhere." He breathes. It sounds more like a plea than a statement.

Suddenly, I want to tell him everything. I want him to know about the woman, what I can do, and how I can help end the abuse of magic in Stone. I want to tell him how glad I am that he is here because I have always done everything alone, and I finally do not mind the company. But instead, "Have you been?" I ask him, making sure to look beyond him to avoid his gaze, hoping that he doesn"t notice that I have dodged that conversation. Serves him right for all the times I have desperately wanted to know all the truths that he keeps inside but he refuses to say aloud. I stare into the oncoming dark, where a silhouette sways back and forth, its body made of Shadow.

"No" then after a second. "I have seen those who have." He falls over onto his back and crosses his arms in front of him as he looks up at the clouded sky, making it impossibly darker as night draws on. "They never come back right." He admits. "They come back foggy, disoriented."

"What do they go North for?" I take advantage of his openness. A stark contrast to the way he has been on this journey. Which has been mostly closed off, secretive even.

"Not sure. After I joined and completed my training with The Spent, I was assigned to a village just outside the wall, that"s as far North as I got." Then he pushes his lips together before continuing. "I saw my friends go in with Augustine and come out… like that." he says with a faraway look on his face, as if he is remembering those times.

I remember the burning stare of Augustine. The tension between the two at the school. "What"s with you and Augustine anyways?" I have to stop myself from clasping a hand over my mouth at the stupid question.

His chest rises and falls in a sort of laugh. "I got into some trouble. That"s when I was placed in Thorn Row, where my gift could be used more… efficiently." He says to the night air. A twinge of pain rests just below my heart at the thought of what could have gotten him in trouble, who. I rest my head on my forearms as I sit bundled into a ball to keep the cool of the night at bay. And to shield some of my face from Kirian so that he does not catch on to my poorly hidden jealousy. "I didn"t like what he was doing in the North, whatever it was. And he didn"t like, well, me." A smile tugs at the corner of his lips for some reason, and I cannot imagine for the life of me why he would be smiling at that. Having Augustine Nero dislike you would be terrifying. His handsome face does little to distract from the evil that lies behind his eyes.

"Ah, so your gift doesn"t work on Augustine Nero, Light Taker," I say jokingly. Using the same words that he once used to describe the man to me.

"I guess not." He turns his head slightly, peering at me in a sidelong glance. His green eyes look gray under the light of the moon. "I kind of liked it. Not being liked, I mean."

I nod in understanding. Knowing that his gift must make it difficult to know when someone genuinely wants to be around you or if they are only drawn by the magic that surrounds you. I suppose you don"t have to make any guesses when someone openly hates you.

It must have hurt his feelings when I hinted that he might not be trustworthy. In my head, he isn"t. No one is. Not until they prove that they are. Kirian will have my trust when he delivers me to Shadow Gate. Still, I didn"t need to use sharp words like that to get under his skin.

We stay like that for a while, comfortable in the silence that we created. Kirian must have been tired because his eyelids flitter before he relaxes into a peaceful slumber. "Goodnight, Kirian," I say, even though he most likely does not hear me.

The next few days are all the same, we walk, we camp. I"ve become bored of staring at the back of Kirian's head. His bow strapped to his back, red fabric dangles from the grip. The silences are not daunting or uncomfortable. While we walk, I keep my head up and my ears open. Ignoring the bite in my knees, the pinch at my side as I struggle up the mountain, and the headache that reappears during our short breaks.

The Shadows are mostly silent, minding their own business, only stopping to stare when I get close enough. They steer clear of Kirian, retreating when he nears them and pulling me away with them. I am unsure of what this means.

Kirian assures me that the burning sensation on the back of my head, the kind you get when someone is staring at you, is nothing. But when he thinks I"m not looking, I see his head on a swivel. Maybe he feels it, too. He purposely distracts me. I know it. He makes jokes, assuring me that it is much too cold for snakes and spiders when he sees me carefully stepping over a fallen tree or passing through brush.

We take short breaks, but I can tell that Kirian is faking his tiredness and is only stopping to give me a rest. Which I gladly take.

The air turns frigid as we approach a pass, two large pillars that were once attached at the top providing the perfect entrance past the dense forest that we just came from. Every now and then we would see a patch of cobblestone from an old road, that"s what we followed to get here.

As we reach the pillars and Stone flattens, I see that they most likely belonged to the entrance of a city. There are scattered rusted metal bars that likely acted as a gate littering the ground.

The forest covers the old buildings well, making it blend into the mountainside. But if you look close enough you can see the old windows and doors in the darker spaces of the ridges and the streets in the valleys.

Below our feet the dying moss uncovers what used to be brick. We follow it, and see a sign at its corner. It"s weathered by time and I can"t make out the words on its face. This street must have housed dozens of families or businesses.

Suddenly, the Shadows split into two, with some pulling me towards the city and some away. It certainly has an air to it, one that is not the same as when we first entered the forest. It"s more…sinister than that.

"It"s too open. We should find a place to set up camp." Kirian says as he looks around, taking in the same scene as I do. He steps through the old entrance and into the city. Then picks a direction and begins to walk again.

I could stop right now, curl into a ball on the damp forest floor, and close my eyes. I am somewhere between exhaustion and death. But I keep the warm fire that Kirian is sure to start in mind as I take another shaky step in his direction.

As I step through the old entrance, using one of its pillars to balance myself, the hairs on my neck stand up. Something shifts in the mountains. I stop to see if Kirian notices as well, if he does, he doesn"t show it. That scent, the same as it was in Spartus, when I first entered, copper, blood, magic.

Things begin to transform around me. Evergreens that were once bleak and uninteresting are now vibrant as their branches float up and down softly in the light breeze. Flashes of gold flakes circle in the air like mosquitos over water. Maybe I am more tired than I thought. I take another step.

My Shadows rejoice, home they say. I take in a large breath of the new air and suddenly I feel rejuvenated, like I haven"t walked all the miles it took to get here, like I haven"t hiked the mountain side on weary legs and blistered feet.

With my eyes closed and my arms spread out, I let it lay over me like a soft blanket, warm, welcoming, like I belong. I hardly notice as Kirian approaches me from the side. He gives me a strange, confused look.

My features mirror his, I am also confused. How could he not notice? "Break is over, let"s keep moving princess." He smiles, proud of himself for the jest as he walks in front of me, offering a hand to step over the rocks at my feet.

Does he not sense it? Does he not feel the water rushing the same as blood through veins, hear the mountain"s heart, wild and unending? Its hairs standing on end as we walk across its jagged spine? See its breath in the white fog that cascades down its sides? For a moment, I can only stare at him, search his face for an answer but he clearly feels nothing, sees nothing.

He has changed as well. Magic. Kirian"s magic. His aura that I sometimes felt but could never see. I could reach out and touch it if I wanted to. It sticks to him, a yellowish light that emanates from his hands, his head, his mouth. It"s beautiful.

I reach my arm through the yellow and take his outstretched hand. His magic sends a shock that travels up my arm, almost like it seeps into my skin through our palms that touch. This has me immediately retreating. His face scrunches with concern when I nearly snatch my hand away from him. "Let"s go, yeah?" I half-whisper, turning away from him and pretending to need my free hand to hold my bag.

For a moment as I trail behind Kirian, I swear more eyes are on us, more than there usually are. Coming from the crumpling windows and doors. From the dark spaces that my Shadows are surely occupying.

There was a war here, that much I know. Many lives were lost right where we stand. Maybe that is what I feel in the air.

My second wind is gone, replaced with paranoia. A bead of sweat tickles my back, sending me into a frenzy that turns my stomach in on itself.

I haven"t heard the woman"s voice in a long time, which makes me spiral into thoughts of what if: What if I am in the wrong place? What if I am in over my head? What if my coming here was a terrible mistake? What if I am not what she claims I am?