16. Chapter 15

The servants spent the night fretting over me like a child, the same way that Adriel did when I was young. The gruff woman whose name I've come to learn is Agnus, oversees the servants of the house. She made sure the ladies didn't skip even the smallest of details when preparing me— from my hair down to my toes. And I let them, it was a cleaning I desperately needed.

A clear liquid that smelled of citrus was added to my bath. At first, it stung around my wounds, but when I awoke this morning, all my cuts were healed over, now only pink lines remain. My hair is shiny, and a floral scent fills my nose when it falls into my face.

I promptly pulled it from the tight pins that they set in my hair last night. I couldn't sleep on the damned things, not that I slept well anyway.

Maybe it's this place, the room was too quiet and the bed too soft. Something was off, missing even. While my days in the jail all rushed together, night and day becoming one, last night felt like it went on forever. For the last few days, weeks, or however long I was held in that cell, I felt like there was danger slowly creeping its long fingers closer to my neck.

Last night all I felt was calm. Soon the reason that I couldn't sleep was not the bed or the pins that stabbed at my scalp, it was the thought that things around me had become too easy. That I was too comfortable. The Shadows have seemingly disappeared without the threat of danger. Which had me thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

Agnus now stands behind me at the vanity. I try not to look into the mirror except to apologize after she scolds me for ruining my hair. Always look your elders in the eye. She then braids it into a single plait, which she secures tightly around my head. It almost wraps around twice, even with the inches that the servants were so anxious to cut off. "Remember how I do this girl. You'll do it this way from now on." She says roughly as she places the last pin.

"Yes, ma'am," I say. She raises one brow and shakes her head in disapproval, but I'm not sure at what.

She pulls from the nearby drawer a midnight blue pleated skirt and button-down white shirt. "These are the women's uniforms. You'll wear this for your studies," then she opens another drawer and pulls out a sleeved shirt, the same color of blue. Along with trousers that are reinforced at the knees. "These are for training." She tells me as she sets them both neatly on the bed.

"Training?" I ask the ground for fear of catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. "For what?"

"Every student must learn simple defense and weaponry." Agnus places her hand on her hip and uses the other to point to the clothes that remain on the bed. "Every morning, you will study in the library, and every evening, you will join the others in the arena." I turn away from my reflection altogether to see her move her finger back and forth between the two outfits as she speaks.

When I stand, she steps to the door, and one of the other servants hands her dark brown leather boots with black laces. Noise from the hallway catches my attention, but I cannot see past the two women before me. Agnus sets the new boots on the floor. "And wear these." She says as she pinches the collar of my old boots between her fingers and picks them up, most likely to discard them. They are not only covered in layers of mud but also falling apart. A large hole on the left one's heel would often result in a wet sock on rainy days. They served me well enough.

"Yes, ma'am," I say, still eyeing the worn leather laces that dangle to the floor.

"Agnus." She corrects me, which has me blinking up at her pointed features as the look of disapproval takes over her face. She does not see me nod before she shuts the door to allow me to dress.

The skirt hangs down to just above my ankles. The white shirt has pleats down its middle and it smells of clean linen, not like the yucca soap I use to clean my own clothes. It hangs loosely around my neck and arms. I pull at the loose fabric, but I won't bother Agnus with finding a smaller one.

This library is very different from the ones at home. Father's office library was mostly filled with his personal drawings, city layouts, and import and export documents. My sister's library had many romance novels that I did not care much for, as well as textbooks from their private study lessons. Those of which I would steal away at night for reading. After Medla found me with her arithmetic book, which I did not understand anyway, she made sure to hide the rest away or tear the pages out so that I had nothing to read anymore.

I would not let that deter me. I would often push my ear against the door to listen to their sessions with a private tutor. The tutor was male first, a tall man with spindly fingers who would often entertain my sisters on the piano. Then, for some reason, only women were allowed to teach my sisters.

The library before me is filled with not only readings of the occult but also many books from the history of Stone. There are so many books that I so desperately want to read, but I am afraid I may not be allowed to take all of them, so I settle for only one. A thin brown book with leather bindings. I take it from its spot and tuck it under my arm, taking note that it's from the very small fiction section of the ginormous library. Fables were easy to get a hold of at House Luz, all but forgotten by my siblings after they grew out of their stories. I have never heard of this one before.

I become so distracted by not only the books but the artifacts that are dispersed throughout the library that I almost didn't notice that there are others also milling about and pulling their own books from the shelves. It would be very easy to be in this library and never see another person, I am not so lucky. I shift around the room as far away from those around me as possible.

The long room seems to go on forever, and the vaulted ceilings hold artwork in detailed paintings or upon stained glass between the beams that hold the room together. The colorful glass above the shelves casts different colored lights onto the porcelain woman who stands at the center, her hands raised and her feet bound. There is much more to see in this vast room, with more knowledge than I have ever had access to, but I will have to see the rest of it at a different time, with fewer eyes.

I watch a few for a moment from behind a statue's feet. The people disappear down the different rows as they find what they are looking for. They all look like they belong here, tracking down books and scribbling their findings on paper. They begin to take their seats at tables nearby. This part of the library is boring, only the mage lights and plain white chairs, not the beautiful colors behind us.

As they find their seats, I follow, nervously looking around for a seat myself. There are no more empty tables and almost no empty chairs. A few curious glances are sent my way before they look back down at their hands or whisper to the nearest person. It's not hard to tell who they speak of.

Soon, a petite girl catches my attention, waving me over and pointing to a seat next to her. There are no other choices, and she is the only one who offered. So, when I make my way to the table, I try a small smile "Ava." She holds out her hand. More side-long glances and words that will never reach my ears.

"Katsia." I reach out and shake her hand, telling myself today that I will be on my best behavior, use all my manners, and act accordingly. Not at all feral. That's what I will be, tame. I take the seat next to her and cross my legs as she does, even pulling the skirt over my knees in the same fashion. Ava tucks her chin-length shiny blonde hair behind her ear, which reminds me of Adriel's in the summer.

She gives me a kind smile that makes her round face and delicate features look like a child's. Of course, she is rather young, perhaps even younger than me. I look between her blue eyes but do not return her smile.

An older woman in a dark robe, similar to the one I saw Lord Andres wear but with a rope tied around her waist and a pendant swinging from her neck, comes from behind a shelf and snaps a wooden cane across her palm. Crack. I try not to associate the sound with similar sounds that have come from wood on flesh in my mind.

Ava and I watch as a few more bodies appear from different parts of the library and take their seats at the noise.

"You may call me Sofie." The older woman says from her position at the front of the tables, she looks only at me as she continues, suggesting that the others have already heard this speech before. "You will be here, in these chairs, every day for the next three months." Some of the students turn to look at me. "You do not have to learn. You do not have to listen, but you will be here, understood?" I nod my head, hoping that the heat that I feel rise to the surface of my cheeks is not noticeable.

For the next few hours, Sofie talks about her life as she gathers books and places them on the table. Often disappearing from sight, her voice echoes off the shelves until she makes her way back with another book in hand. Sofie has led an interesting life, from her time in the military to her searches in The North with The Spent. You can tell she was a soldier, the way she speaks, how she holds herself is much like the way that Kirian holds himself.

As she sets the last book down, she tells us to read and exchange them with each other until we have completed all of them. The table is now filled with stacks of ginormous books, and I'm not sure I will be able to keep up with the others.

When class is over, I decide to return the fable that I grabbed before. I don't think I will have time to read it along with all the others.

But as I slip from the group and make my way back to the section where I took it from, "Keep that one." Sofie's withered voice says from behind me, causing my spine to straighten. I turn around, looking past her wiry, dull red hair, to see that others are already picking through the pile, some with two or three in their hands before shuffling out of the room. Ava holds two books in her hands and looks at me impatiently, holding them up for me to see.

"A-alright," I say, tucking it back into my arm. She gives a nod and then walks away, leaning on her cane for balance. There, on the back of her head, where the hairline meets the neck, the mark of an eye. I should not be so surprised to see it.

Ava grabs my arm and leads me to the hallway. "Let's eat together" she says taking my hand and pulling me along with her, I almost immediately release hers but still walk by her side. I have not eaten in so long, my stomach growls at the thought of fresh bread.

She leads me to the dining hall. I already knew where it was from when Agnus and the others toured me around the castle. The castle, I soon come to find out, is actually a school and the doors next to mine belong to the other students, Ava included. Still, I let her point in the direction of the student section where we are supposed to eat, and listen as she explains mealtimes and curfew. Nodding like it's the first time I am hearing it.

Ava finds an empty table after grabbing plates of bland looking food. Years of Lupita's cooking has spoiled me to what most would consider regular meals. Although, I am nothing close to picky and grateful that I no longer am served the slop the jail so kindly dished out to its inmates. I grab the silverware and remind myself of manners before beginning.

It might be my imagination, but I do feel like the other students stare as we sit. Some even whisper to one another, and when I turn towards them, they stop. I try to ignore it as best as I can. Ava seems to have not even noticed the chatter surrounding us as she shovels food into her mouth. She even begins to read her book as bits of meat fall off her fork before it gets to her mouth. Manners be damned.

Her small hand is barely able to hold the book open, but that doesn't stop her from reading it. I feel bad for whoever gets the book next, most likely me. I can't help but laugh as she continues. I slowly scoop the food to my mouth, wishing that I was devouring the food before me the same as Ava.

Soon after finishing our meal, Ava begs me to meet her here for breakfast. I don't usually eat in the morning, but fitting in might prove more helpful than not, so I agree. We walk to our rooms to change into our training uniforms. Her room is almost on the opposite side of the hallway to mine. When I finally get to my own room, I hardly have time to change before she is already standing at the door waiting for me. This is going to take some getting used to.

She keeps a smile as we walk to the training grounds, but it fades when we enter the arena. "I'm not much good at training," she admits.

Soft grass lays around the edges of a square that's roped off. There's a circular dirt patch in the middle, where a woman in similar clothing as ours stands. She introduces herself as Christoph, Madam Christoph. Although she is small you can't miss the muscles under her long sleeve that she has hiked up to the elbow. The pads on her knees and the front of her shirt are dirtied like she has been doing her own training before we arrived.

Her wild, almost black hair, chopped at seemingly random lengths, paired with wild eyes and a mischievous grin, leads me to believe that the woman is out of her mind.

When Madam Christoph sees that everyone has gathered, she separates us into pairs. Ava with a boy that looks just as frail as she does, with brown hair and square glasses that he keeps pushing further onto his nose. I end up with a girl about the same height as me and of similar build. Her long brown hair and blue eyes make her a beauty to look at, but when her lips curl into a wicked smirk as she glances at her friend behind her, I see just how ugly she truly is. "She thinks she's so special. I'll see about that," she remarks to no one in particular. There is nothing special about me at all. In fact, Adriel often said I was quite mundane. My brows push together as I try to make sense of what she means.

Madam Christoph grabs a student and demonstrates a basic defense maneuver, pulling my attention away from the girl.

We then disperse along the arena in our pairs. "I'll be the attacker." The girl says, that smirk sneaking back to her lips.

She gives me little time to refuse before she braces her hands on my neck the same way that was demonstrated. Unlike Madam Christoph, she digs her nails into the back of my skull and squeezes with what I can assume from her pinched face is all her strength. The fast movement takes me by surprise, and instead of doing as was shown and lifting my dominant arm to come across hers that are now held out to choke me, I grip at her fingers, unsuccessfully peeling them back.

When she does not remove her hands or even loosen her grip, I feel my blood begin to boil with anger before lifting my knee, which meets with her middle, sending her falling backward as she tries to catch her breath. I place my hands across my burning neck to rub away the pain, and when they come away, they are covered in blood as she ripped through my skin in her retreat.

Everyone gathers around us. Ava pulls at my arm, but I take it back, ripping it from her hand. I take in as much air as possible to avoid the unwelcome feeling that threatens to take over. The girls' companions comfort her as she lay on the ground sobbing, I didn't think I hit her that hard. I just wanted her off me. "She's fucking crazy." She spits. All eyes turn to me.

"Everyone thinks you're crazy. You have no idea what Father has told them. If you try to tell anyone about this, they won't believe you." Cedric's voice filters through my head.

Without a second thought, I push my hands back up to cover my bloodied neck, then I turn and walk away. To my surprise, Madam Christoph does not stop me. Everyone watches as I go, their jaws open and their mouths ready to speak ill of me. I don't stop until I've rounded the corner, unknowing of where I am headed. I think I hear Ava's soft voice call my name through the ringing in my ears, but I'm already gone.

When I reach a fountain surrounded in lush, perfectly cut grass, so manicured that it's almost as if from a painting, I sit at the edge of the water and use it to clean the blood from my neck, then splash my face, but it does nothing to soothe the anger that boils under my skin. I peer at the reflection of the sky above me in the water, near cloudless, casting its bright blue upon the rippling water. That tight feeling in my chest comes to the surface when black eyes, my Mother's eyes, look back at me. I splash the water so that she no longer exists.

My head swivels when I feel the weight of eyes on me. An eerie feeling settles over me as I try to trace where it is coming from, but it's no use, not with all the windows reflecting the sun and the thick green surrounding the area. They could be anywhere. Especially when light footsteps sound behind me distracting me from the task.

"Don't worry about Cora, she's broken. We all are." Ava's small voice says from over my shoulder. She approaches the fountain and sits timidly beside me, skimming the water with her own fingers.

"What do you mean?" I ask without turning my head to her.

"My family didn't want to tell anyone. About my connection." She takes a large breath before continuing. "I worked for King Aron. I was a servant. Tended the gardens with my brother." She tucks her hair behind her ear. There is a missing square of flesh, something that I missed before. Much like Lupita's circle that adorned her ear, those who work in Fauna must have a different shape to their mark. She swallows hard as if she doesn't actually want the words to come out.

I turn to her to let her know that it's safe to speak. "A man once visited the King. Told me I was a beauty. He loved me, Katsia. He even asked for my hand." She fidgets uncomfortably, like it hurts to be reminded of the past. "My Brother was not fond of the idea, and neither was my Mother. Gordon was his name. He told me he could improve my status so that we could marry. That's when he gifted me magic." Before I can speak, she places her hand atop mine. This time I force myself not to take it back as she continues. "My brother took me North, in search of someone to reverse the gift but we were arrested, and after a while I was sent here, my brother however-"her words get caught in her throat "they killed him." a tear drops from her cheek.

"I'm sorry" is all I can say, and I know I should feel worse for her, but my mind wanders to what could be in The North that could possibly reverse this so-called gift. Who was her brother searching for?

Much like me she was arrested and transferred here. I wonder if Cora and the others were also brought here in such a manner. This has me questioning everything, why they would do such a thing and why those with The Connection have been spared, but I do not share my thoughts with Ava while she is obviously in such a depressed state. "What gift do you possess?" I ask instead to change the subject and save myself from not knowing what to do when someone cries in my presence.

Ava takes her hand away from mine and bends down so that her chest touches her knees. She puts her hand to the ground flat. And from all around her small fingers that I now recognize as a gardener's hands with all the lines and calluses of her labor, sprouts new grass. It grows so tall that it almost brushes her nose before she straightens. The once perfectly manicured and oh-so-green lawn now has a patch of unruly brown with seeds at its ends growing from its center. I cannot hide my awe as I stroke the tops of the newly grown grass. "That's amazing, Ava." I half-whisper.

When I finally look away from her work, I see that she has no more tears in her eyes and an almost smile upon her face. "My magic seems to have disappeared." I say as I stand. Ava follows. We head in the direction of the arena. I do not say more about my magic, and Ava does not ask. She knows that I do not wish to tell more of my story like she has told me.

When we get back, everyone but Madam Christoph has left. She sits cross-legged in the middle of the arena with her hands on her knees. She appears to be deep in meditation, but as we approach, she opens one eye. "Get some rest tonight, you'll all pay for your sins tomorrow." She tells us that, and nothing more before she resumes her meditation. We look at each other and shrug at her strange choice of words. We turn and silently make our way back to the rooms. I leave Ava and now I must walk past all the other rooms, one, two, three, I count twenty-four in total.

When I open my door what lay before me is a complete disaster, things thrown to the ground and the drawers ripped open, emptied of their contents, reminding me of the way that the guards searched the rooms at the Inn. It doesn't take me long to know who could have done this.

Of course, I came here with nothing of my own, so it doesn't affect me much when I see Kirian's jacket and the ugly torn green dress in a pile on the floor. I do not repair the room. Instead, I grab the book of fables from the floor and plop on the bed to read it.