Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Zack—

Two days later

“My ass is numb,” Keller shifts in his seat in the front of the Charger.

“It matches your brain then,” I retort quickly.

“How much longer we have to go?” he asks.

“You’re worse than a five year old.”

He shrugs and begins to entertain himself by tossing jellybeans in the air and trying to catch them in his mouth. My floor is covered with all his misses.

“So what’s the chick’s name we’re meeting again?”

Seriously? I just said her name ten minutes ago. “Ashley. Her name is Ashley.”

“Is she hot?”

“I have no idea. I’ve never met her. You know all this already, bonehead.”

“I forgot. How’s her voice at least?”

“I don’t know. Fine I guess.” I concentrate on the never-ending road in front of me. We’ve been on the road for eighteen hours, not counting the six hours we stopped at some flea bag motel to crash for a while last night.

“She better be hot since I agreed to come all this way with you,” he warns, tossing a purple jellybean in the air that hits him in the nose before bouncing to the floor.

“You didn’t agree to come. Because I didn’t invite you.”

“I’m here aren’t I?”

“Because you showed up at my house at the time you knew I was leaving and yelled road trip.”

“Yeah, so I agreed to come.”

“Whatever.” I shake my head. There’s no point in trying to explain the difference to Keller. I’m actually grateful to have the company. The trip has been long and boring, my eyes getting heavy behind the wheel on more than one occasion.

My heart rate speeds up as we pass a sign that reads Welcome to Texas. I can’t wait to see her. It’s been torture for the past week. I was climbing the walls when Ashley finally called me yesterday.

“Did you know Emily was Nikki’s sister?” she asked the minute I picked up the phone.

“No!” I exclaimed. “And who the hell is this?”

“It’s Ashley. I’m …”

“I know who you are.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. Nikki talked about you all the time. Are you with her?”

“Yes. Well, not right this minute. She’s out running. Again.”

“Is she okay?”

“No. She’s a puddle.”

“A puddle?” I inquired, not understating the term.

“You know. Cries all the time. I don’t have long. She’s like my shadow lately…I’m sure she’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Where are you?”

“We’re back at my house. She’s decided she’s dropping out of school and starting a supermarket career at Kroger’s since you’ve stopped calling her because you only really loved her sister. She thinks you were trying to replace Emily with the closest copy you could find. Are you?”

My heart squeezes in my chest. “Of course not. I love her, Ashley.”

“Well, when you stopped calling nineteen times a day she kind of assumed you didn’t. Know what I mean?”

“Her Aunt and my mother told me to give her space. They said she needed to process it all and that I was just pushing her too fast.” Damn I’ll never listen to anyone again. My gut told me they were wrong, that I needed to keep after her. I thought giving her space would only make her fill in the missing pieces with things that didn’t exist. I wasn’t wrong.

“Well her Aunt and your Mother got it ass backwards. She’s gone from depressed to angry. You may want to be prepared if you come. She’s probably going to unload on you,” Ashley warns.

“Thanks, but I can handle it. I’m leaving in the morning,” I told Ashley— no thinking about it and no waiting. I’m done following every else’s stupid advice.

“I told her we would go back to the depressing water tower she likes so much tomorrow. She thinks it heals her or some stupid crap like that,” Ashley snapped and I understood why Nikki likes her so much— straight shooter. Not much of a filter.

“Where’s the depressing water tower. That’s where I’ll head,” I said, not giving her an option.

“It’s in Brookside.”

“Give me the address.”

I’m still shocked that she did. My parents weren’t exactly happy I was skipping out of school and driving a quarter of the way across the country, but they really didn’t object too strenuously. My guess is they knew I was going no matter what they threatened.

***

We arrive right on time at the water tower where Ashley told us to meet her.

Keller gets out of the car with me. “You’re staying down here,” I say. “Wait a little bit to see if her friend Ashley is with her, I’ll send her down to you if she is. Either way, take the car and go find us a hotel for tonight.”

“I can drive the Charger?” Keller’s eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Be careful with her.” I toss him the keys.

“I will.” He grins widely. There’s no way he’s not opening it up full throttle the minute he gets out of the parking lot, but I could care less. There’s one thing on my mind and that’s getting to Nikki.

***

I’m not even slightly winded when I make it to the top of the fifty-three-stair climb. My entire body is fueled with adrenaline; I could run up Mt. Kilimanjaro if it meant getting to see Nikki at the top.

I walk the narrow catwalk to the other side of the wide tower. Not surprisingly, they’re the only two up here. Ashley stands, clearing the view to Nikki who looks up to see where her friend is going at the same minute I catch sight of her. It knocks the wind right out of me.

I’m angry. I’m relieved. I’m so jumbled and filled with mixed emotions, I’m not sure whether to scream at her for leaving or to grab her and never let her go. The one thing I am absolutely, positively sure of in this moment is that I fucking love this girl. With everything I have. She’s in my heart and soul. Never in my life have I ever felt so strongly about anything. It almost feels as if my whole life has been a series of tests, just so I could get the answers wrong and know when it’s finally right.

Ashley smiles wearily, nods and slips past me wordlessly, quickly making her way down the stairs. Nikki and I hold each other’s gaze for a long moment. I see pain and sorrow in her eyes that almost makes me break right on the spot.

I approach her slowly, bending at the knees so we’re eye level. I feel like my heart is completely exposed and she can either chose to take it or to break it into a million little pieces. Looking at her, one thing’s for certain: if she takes it, I’ll never get it back. But she’s worth the chance of putting it all out there.

“Hi,” I say quietly.

“Hi.” she whispers back. Her blue-green eyes flicker with what I think is hope. I move in closer. She looks away, unable to hold the intensity of my stare. Gently, I cup her cheek and force her gaze back to me.

“I don’t understand.” She pauses. “What are you doing here?”

“I came for you.”

“Why?” she hesitates, her eyes darting from mine.

“You have to ask why I came for you? Don’t you know how I feel about you?”

“I thought I knew.”

“How I feel about you hasn’t changed. Except maybe my feelings have grown stronger.”

“Really? Do you always lie to the people who you feel strongly about?”

“I didn’t lie.”

“You told me you barely remembered even passing lighthouses. That they were our special place. I saw the picture of you and Emily on her mirror, Zack.”

“It was a school trip in tenth grade. We went on a boat ride around the harbor. I didn’t even remember there was a lighthouse there.”

“And Dr. Bennett at the hospital? He’s just a family friend?”

I blow out a breath. “I’m sorry. I had no idea he was your father. I swear. You had just found out you couldn’t find out about your sister for a few months. You were disappointed. Upset. I didn’t want to make it worse.” I pause. “I know it’s a stretch, but he is a family friend. He’s been our neighbor for ten years.”

“But why would Mrs. Bennett tell me you knew, if you didn’t?”

“I know she found you at the cemetery and what she said to you. Dr. Bennett found out and told me. He’s devastated you found out this way. She just wanted you out of town. She was worried people would find out her husband had an affair. But he’s not like her, Nikki. Not at all. He loved your mother and he loves you. She’s a bitter person. My mother told me Dr. Bennett moved out of the house last night. I guess it took this to make him see how bad it really was.”

She’s scared, I see it in her eyes. They warm when they meet mine, but she quickly withdraws. “Do you wish I was Emily when you’re with me, Zack?”

I wince. Hearing her ask the question causes me physical pain. “I’ve never wished anything, when I was with you except for time to stand still.”

She eyes me wearily.

“I don’t understand why this was our path, but I know fate brought us together.” I say without wavering.

Nikki’s face softens. Our eyes meet, but she quickly looks away again.

“Look at me.” Her eyes jump back to mine. “I’m in love with you.” Our gaze finally locks. I brush the hair behind her ear and cup both her cheeks in my hands. “When you’re not around, I’m lonely in a room full of people.” I pause. “Everything is better with you. I’m better with you.”

A tear rolls down her cheek.

“No crying.” I wipe it away with my thumb.

She hesitates, but smiles a little.

“God, I missed that smile.” I look down at her lips.

She smiles a little wider.

“I missed those lips too.” With all her sexy curves, it’s the curve of her mouth into a smile that does me in.