Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Nikki

I slide down the wall to sit alongside the front door, listening to the hum of Zack’s Charger as it pulls away from the curb and sets out for Better Burger. My head is swirling, reliving each of the moments on the couch as I reach down to my jeans and pull out the note Zack handed me when he walked in. I forgot I’d even stuffed it in my pocket until now. My heart is racing as I open it. This little ritual with Zack has become something I so look forward to.

Nikki,

You make my heart pound with excitement.

My body tremble from your every touch.

My mind long for your every word.

I’m crazy about you.

Please forgive me.

Zack.

I pinch myself because I’m sure it can’t be real. He can’t be real. I came to Long Beach to find a sister I never knew existed and I met a guy I’m crazy about. He’s not perfect. Heck, neither am I. We both have a ton of emotional baggage. But I feel the bond to him down deep in my soul. Fate had to bring us together.

Forcing myself from my Zack-induced fog, I pick up the phone to call Ashley. It buzzes as my finger hovers over the keypad. Ashley. Who else would it be?

“You’ve got great timing, Ash,” I say as I force myself to snap back from dreamland.

“I’ve heard that before. It’s just one of the few amazing things about your best friend. There are so many others.” Ashley laughs at herself.

“How are you?” she continues. “Did note guy re-break your heart over the last few hours? Because if he did, I’ll be putting out my thumb and hitching a ride with the next creepy trucker that passes on by this crappy little town. See what a good friend I am? I’m willing to risk being murdered by creepy trucker guy just to come kick mutant note boy’s ass if he hurt you again.”

She has a unique way of saying it, but her point is sincere. Ashley means it. She’d walk to California if she thought I needed her. “Just the opposite, Ash. Everything is great. We talked, he apologized and explained why he has been struggling and things are good. I feel like we’ve made a lot of progress. He’s here now. Well, not at the moment. He went out to get us burgers but he’s coming back soon. I’ve never felt like this with a guy before, Ash. Never. I can’t explain it.”

“Oh, no. You’re scaring me. This guy screwed with your head. Please don’t say you’re falling in love, Nikki. Love is dangerous and you’re not ready for it. You’re barely ready for a silly crush.”

Her words hurt me, make me defensive. “Like you’re so ready for it, Ash? Give me a break. You were in love four times last year and I put up with all of it. And this is different. So, so different. It’s real. Whether you believe me or not.” My tone lets Ashley know I don’t want her to tease right now.

“Cool down. I believe you. I’m just worried about you. This guy has been snapping your heart back and forth since you got there. I don’t trust him. That’s all.” I know Ashley means well but there’s no way to explain what’s going on between me and Zack. Our bond isn’t something I can put into words, so I wouldn’t expect her to understand.

“He’s going to be back any minute, Ash. Can I call you later?” I feel badly blowing her off, I don’t want to insult her, but I feel good for the first time in weeks, and I don’t want her to bring my head down.

The doorbell rings as I’m standing in my room smoothing my hair back in place. “Burgers, fries, and chocolate shakes.” Zack holds up two bulging paper bags when I open the door. “Aunt Claire would ban me if she knew. Actually, she’d probably ban me even if I were bringing in organic, free range tofu, if she knew what I was thinking about her niece.”

“What were you thinking about me?” It’s obvious from his tone, but I want to hear him say it.

Zack drops the bag on the table and pulls me into his arms. His eyes drop to my lips. “You want me to tell you?” he dares.

“Do I?” I ask coyly.

With a devilish smile on his face, Zack nods his head.

I swallow. “Tell me.” My voice is barely a whisper.

“I was thinking about what you taste like. The way you feel underneath me. The little sound you make when you start to come undone.”

I’m not sure if he hears it, but a barely audible whimper escapes my throat.

He kisses me. “Your Aunt Claire doesn’t come home until eight o’clock in the morning tomorrow, right?”

I nod my head. Unconsciously, I lick my lips.

Zack growls. He steps back and shakes his head. “Go. Eat. I’m going to throw some cold water on my face.” He heads toward the bathroom, mumbling. “Eat fast.”

***

I lie in bed still awake as the sun rises, replaying the whole night with Zack in my head. I don’t know how I’m supposed to fall sleep. A vision of Zack lying next to me in my bed, propped up on his elbow, flashes in my head.

“Are you a virgin?” He’d asked casually, while lightly drawing circles with his finger around my exposed belly button.

“Yes.” His finger stopped tracing its path momentarily. “Does that bother you?” I asked, curious at his sudden halt.

He didn’t respond verbally. Just shook his head slowly with a smile.

“So why did you hesitate?”

“I was taking a moment to thank God,” he responded with a wicked grin.

I’m not used to talking to boys about sex. Or anyone for that matter. Mostly because there was never anything to talk about. So it took me a few minutes to muster the courage to ask.

“Are you?” I almost felt stupid asking. He’d had a long term relationship with Emily and….well, look at him. A lot of girls throw themselves at a guy like Zack.

I was shocked when he nodded his head. “I know it’s hard to believe, since what girl could keep their hands off all my hotness, but yes, I am. And, I have to say, I actually don’t mind at all right now. I’m glad that we both are. If we decide we’re ready, it will make it that much more special.” I almost melted.

It’s not just our talking about sex and fooling around that keeps me awake, though. Although we did enough of both to keep my mind occupied for the entire day. Something bigger happened between us last night. More than an apology and an acceptance, we took a giant step forward. Agreeing to be open and honest, not hide the things that make us who we are. We connected in a way I’ve never felt with anyone before.

That’s why I feel guilty. I didn’t tell him about my sister. I wanted to. I really did. But the timing just never seemed right. I made him promise to be open and honest with me from now on, yet I’m still hiding my own secrets.