Chapter 18

Moonlight filtered into the room,silvering Reed's hard face. He was scratched up and bruised. And how did he get that way? Riding in to save the day like a fucking knight and destroying one of Sloan's BMWs in the process.

That had been a fun conversation. Reed had thought it was a rental. I'd had to spend an hour convincing him that Sloan probably didn't even remember the car existed, in between one of the local mob doctors poking at his knee to make sure he hadn't permanently fucked it up.

The soft light spilling in the window seemed to sink into his green collar, leaving it a shadow on his throat. I paced around the bed but stopped before I could cast him into darkness, too intent on looking at him. What was going on in his head? What had he been thinking earlier? I walked my hand across the sumptuous bedding, stopping just short of touching him.

Why, oh why, had he come back for me?

No one was my ally. I was useful to people, but I didn't suffer from delusions. Sloan wouldn't cry if he got word that I died. He might sigh and roll his eyes before he called up his generals to see if they had anyone promising to take my place. Even Cillian and Aspen, two men I'd liked well enough to fuck more than once, would've left me for dead if it was necessary. Or hell, even if it was simply convenient.

Maybe I was being a touch dramatic, but I didn't think so.

Reed snuffled a little and shifted in his sleep, throwing an arm out to the side as if he was searching for me in the darkness. I ran a hand over my face, still too jacked up on adrenaline to contemplate lying down. The car was headed toward Sloan. We'd pissed off all the right people and paid off the rest. I'd done my job.

I hadn't bothered checking in with Birch yet to see what the hell had gone wrong with the bribe he'd been in charge of passing off. I snorted at the name of the MC club that had kicked my ass. The Cyanide Gators. I guess they were scary. Maybe. But, in the end it didn't matter what had happened. I was sure Birch would apologize, offer his dick as a consolation prize, and tell me that shit happened. I could already imagine the bullshit he would spout in that sexy Southern accent. "Sometimes losing some cash is the price of doing business in St. Loren."

Yeah, I didn't give a shit about Birch.

But with this Reed mystery digging around in my brain, everything still felt unfinished.

Reed was my beast, wild and unpredictable. Was this simply another thing I couldn't calculate about him? Was that good or bad?

I was going out of my mind and still had no answers. With a huff, I flopped on the bed at Reed's side, and he flinched, half sitting up. His hand slammed down on my arm, and even in the dark I could tell he skated his gaze down my body.

"What's wrong?" he asked, voice rough with sleep.

"What isn't?" I plucked at his collar, and the move had the deliciously Pavlovian effect of reminding him it existed. He hissed and his hips arched under the blankets. I couldn't see the hard-on I was certain I'd just caused, but it was there.

"Oisín? Master?"

Sighing, I tickled my fingers down his naked chest. "I would've left you."

"Oh."

The seconds ticked past, the mental equivalent of sloshing through quicksand.

Scowling, I scratched my nails over his left pec. He hissed and grabbed my wrist when I got his nipple, and I didn't struggle to be free or reach for my phone to shock him. I let it stand because—"Fuck! I feel bad about it!"

Reed's teeth were a glimmer in the darkness as he sat up and leaned back against the headboard. "Okay," he said, tone decidedly warmer.

"Now—" I poked his chest with my other hand. "—I probably wouldn't be able to leave you to die. Even if you did something idiotic and deserved it. That's dangerous for me. And stupid." An unpleasant sensation twisted up in my stomach. I tried to stand to pace again, but he caught me by surprise when he grabbed me around the waist and tugged me down at his side. I struggled, but eventually when the dust had settled, I was tucked in against him with his arms around me, more or less holding me captive.

It felt nice.

"Isn't it good to have people you don't want to leave behind?" he asked.

I snorted. It was a child's question. "In our world, it's an eventual death sentence. A slow-moving bullet. It's probably what will get Sloan in the end. Mob bosses have a notoriously short lifespan, and I would bet my bottom dollar the thing that gets him in a casket will be directly related to Conall. It's just ridiculous to have those sorts of connections."

Reed scratched his fingers along my scalp as if he was comforting me, which was astronomically unwelcome. I shoved against his chest, but he was strong, and I didn't feel like moving around enough to get away.

"If I didn't have people to live for, I would be dead by now." His soft voice twisted in the dark and gave me chills.

"You were thinking about someone else when I was torturing you?" Outrage worked through me and I strained, but he held tight.

"Not exactly, but knowing there were people out there, my family, who would be disappointed if I never turned up again, it gave me something to anchor my grit to."

"Great, you're a barnacle," I grumped.

He chuckled, which had me squirming the tiniest bit closer. "I'd rather have something to live for than nothing to die for."

"You're a dramatic beast." I slapped Reed's stomach lightly, then rested my head on his chest, listening to the steady thud of his heartbeat.

"You're still tense," he said after a while.

I shrugged.

"If it makes you feel better, I still might kill you in your sleep."

Smiling, I leaned up to catch a glimpse of his face, and he was grinning, too. "It probably makes me sound unhinged, but it actually does." I shimmied upward and pressed my lips against his. Reed was all man, as masculine and scary as they came, but his lips were part of what had first drawn me to him. They were pouty and soft and oh so nice against mine.

He glided his hands down my back and dragged me over so that I rested on top of him. Not a single bit of me touched the bed. I was aware of his injured knee and slid my leg to the side, but it was unexpectedly delicious to rest all my weight on him and simply relax.

I was high energy to the point that I was nearly chaotic—whatever the hell was happening was the exact opposite of that. When I finally gave in and accepted that Reed wasn't going to murder me right here and now, instead of being disappointed—the way I'd expected—a honey sweet heat flooded my veins. I buried a smile against his neck.

My mouth rested on the collar, and for once, I wanted to feel that heartbeat I'd been listening to underneath my lips. I wanted to know he was alive and square with the fact that I hadn't died tonight. We were both still kicking and mostly uninjured—at least, nothing life threatening had occurred. I fumbled for my phone on the nightstand and turned off the collar, which let me open it without shocking him. When I had the leather off, I set it on the nightstand along with my phone.

He ran his hands up my back and arched against me. The collar could make him hard in an instant—something about it just worked for him—but he was slowly getting interested in our position. A thrill worked through my body that did fun things to me after all the adrenaline that had bathed my system earlier.

"You're not scared of me anymore?" he murmured.

"Terrified," I whispered, then pressed my mouth to his neck, searching until I found his pulse. I licked it. Then, I sank my teeth in deep because I wanted to consume that fluttery sensation and keep it for my own, like a fucked-up vampire. He growled and arched against me, and I moaned as my wood brushed his. He was poking me insistently and shifting his hips slowly from side to side. The slow buildup was also the opposite of the frantic sex we usually had—and I liked the change.

Tonight, this was good. I had no idea if I would enjoy anything like this ever again, since I'd never had it before just this second. But at this moment, it was all I wanted. Slow. Sensuous. All that unchecked strength supported me and strained underneath me. Reed slid his hands down the back of my boxers to palm my ass, and I nibbled on the top of his shoulder.

"You're okay," he whispered in my ear.

"If you say that shit again, I'll cut your heart out," I hissed back.

He chuckled and slipped his right hand down until he had a finger teasing my hole. "Lube?"

"This place is all inclusive. If there isn't any, I'm leaving a one-star review," I grumbled, which only had him laughing outright. There was a brief search, which required turning on the light and a lot of huffing on Reed's part because I refused to move off him to make anything easier, but in the end, we found a familiar purple tube, the light was switched off, and I was purring like a cat as he teased my pucker with a slick finger.

I'd thought this would be it, as soon as he had a digit buried in my body it would be back to business as usual, but he tortured me—and himself—for a long while. Stretching me. I was shocked with myself that I tolerated this nonsense, but it was fun to rock my cock against his and nibble on his bottom lip until we were both panting and on edge. I'd never taken my time like this. Usually things were much more vicious and fast-paced.

Fuck, in some ways I felt like a virgin, which was laughable. I'd spent entire weeks visiting sex clubs with every free minute I had, especially when I'd worked in Europe.

But I'd never done this.

Reed's lips seemed to be urging me to do more of this unwinding, relaxing garbage as he sucked on my tongue and sent a streak of lightning directly to my cockhead, where it tingled and swirled. He shoved down my boxers, and finally our naked erections were teasing each other, exchanging their own sloppy kisses as precum smeared everywhere. It was dirty, decadent, and absolutely appalling.

I didn't enjoy this kind of sex.

But apparently, for now, I did.

I let my legs fall on either side of Reed's hips, and between the two of us we got his cock positioned just right. He slid his fully slicked shaft easily into me. There was no burn and rush of adrenaline, but he stared at my face, eyes glittering in the dark. I was walking a high wire, a rush as intense as a knife to my throat freewheeling inside me.

Sitting up, I stared down at him and squeezed my muscles around him, rocking until his mouth fell open and his eyes closed as he carefully ran his hands up and down my thighs. His pleasure sent excitement zipping through me. Fuck, was I having sex for my beast?

All at once an uncertainty I wasn't familiar with hit me. "Are you...? Never mind," I snapped, picking up the pace.

He rolled his hips and smiled. "You feel fucking fantastic."

Another wave of that golden fantasy feeling slipped through my veins and slithered down to swirl in my stomach, expanding and growing warmer as I ground on his cock, pinging my prostate. Sweat beaded on my skin as we spent time rocking our bodies together. My right hand found his left one and I brought it up to kiss the tips of his missing fingers.

"That's weird," he said with a laugh.

"I want to do it."

"Didn't say you should stop." His voice spread more of the golden honey glow inside me, and I chased it, fucking myself faster on him. He gasped and his hands flew to my hips. I could tell by the way he tensed and sucked in air through his teeth he was close, and I dropped my hand to my dick, jerking off fast. I wanted to do this together, and I was consumed by the idea as he grunted and shoved up hard inside me, no doubt filling me with his cum. I panted and dropped my chin to my chest as that glow took over, and I emptied my balls, spraying cum on him. The orgasm cut through the remaining tension in my body so that when I was done, I collapsed on his chest.

"What the fuck was that?" I mumbled.

He huffed out a breath that was nearly a laugh. "Hell if I know."

Eventually, Reed's cock went down. After he slipped out, along with a gush of his cum, he moved my leg, despite the brace on his knee, so that once again every part of me was cradled on his muscled bulk. For once in my life, my brain stopped whirring, and together we enjoyed the silence and the shimmering moonlight reflected on the water of the lake outside.

"I wanted this. Fucking ironic."

"What?" I murmured, sleep finally making my eyelids heavy.

"A room with a breathtaking view."

When I glanced up at him, he wasn't counting the stars reflected on the dark water, he was staring down at me. I wanted to say something sarcastic, had a thousand one-liners I could toss at him, but for once in my life I chose to keep my mouth shut rather than ruin the moment.

Maybe while I was training him to be my beast, he was training me to be a better person.