Chapter Fourteen

After leaving Amy, Laurie walked the streets of Vevay for some time in a contemplative mood. As he stared up at the stars twinkling placidly in the heavens, an image of Beth suddenly came to mind. It was the last time he had seen her before he left for Europe. She had already begun to weaken, but he had ignored all the evidence of her suffering.

“I’m sorry, Beth,” he whispered to the night.

He recalled the conversation they had shared that day. He had sat beside her on the old sofa, and she had looked at him in her serious way. “Take good care of Grandfather, Laurie,” she had said.

“I shall, Beth. I promise.” He had laid his hand against his heart with mock gravitas.

She had laughed, but then her face became solemn once more. “And do take good care of yourself. I know nothing of matters of the heart, Laurie, but I know that our Jo is a wild bird that must fly free.”

At the time, Laurie had been unable to respond. Jo had refused him, and he had been full of bitter disappointment. Beth was trying to tell him to let her go, but he had been so attached to the vision he had set for his life that he would not even consider it. Many changes were already happening that he had been unable to face: Jo growing up and away from him, Beth weakening, and Meg and John Brooke no longer playfellows but adults.

“You knew even then, didn’t you?” Laurie spoke to the sky again. “You knew you would have to leave us, yet you weathered your own storm. Oh, Bethy! How we shall miss you!”

He reached the quiet of his own room. Grandfather was back in England and, though Amy was only a street away, Laurie felt isolated. Remembering his promise to Beth, he realized that his grandfather must feel an even deeper loneliness.

After shrugging out of his coat and draping it over the chair near his little desk, Laurie sat and pulled out fresh paper and a pen. He proceeded to write to his grandfather, urging him to come to Vevay.

***

The next morning, Laurie went to Amy’s chateau early and spoke with the concierge, who agreed to arrange for a picnic lunch to be prepared and for flowers to be delivered that evening to Amy and Flo.

Pleased with his plans, Laurie waited in the breakfast room. It was not long before Amy appeared. Her black satin skirt was bustled in the latest fashion, though her simple bodice lacked either tassels or beaded fringe. Her hair was pulled back into a knot near the base of her neck. She was the picture of solemnity…and she was entirely beautiful.

He stood as she neared and took her hand, bowing over it in the fancy way she liked. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. Have you waited long?”

“Not in the slightest. Now sit down at once. I mean to take care of you.”

She smiled at him sweetly. “What shall we do today?”

“It is warmer than yesterday. Do you fancy a picnic?”

“That sounds delightful.”

“And will Flo accompany us?”

“I shall ask her, of course, but I suspect she will choose to stay with Aunt Carrol instead. Poor Flo! It is quite a burden for her to carry the worry over her mother all alone.”

“She has not been alone. She has you.”

“Though we are very fond of each other, we did not grow up as sisters. We do not have that bond that sisters share.”

“I think the bond between the March sisters is unusually close. I have never seen the like.”

“Being away has helped me realize how much I have always depended on them.”

He thought a moment. “I suppose John Brooke is the closest I have to a brother. I would like to add more brothers like him one day.”

“And how will you do that?”

“Well, if Jo should marry, I hope to gain a brother there, as well. I do have friends—just as you have Flo. Fitz Darcy is one such person.”

“Ah, yes. You wrote about him and his family.”

“He and his grandparents treated me like family when I stayed with them. They are very good people.”

“So you said in your letters. You mentioned that Mrs. Darcy is elegant, but you never offered any description. Tell me, what does she look like?”

Laurie thought for a moment. “She is not very tall and has silvery gray hair and sparkling eyes. Her expression…she always seems as if she finds something diverting.”

“A joyful woman, then?”

“Oh, very! She reminded me of Marmee.”

“How I would love to meet her!”

They continued to converse over an unhurried meal at the breakfast table and followed it with a leisurely stroll in the garden, speaking of everything and nothing. How strange it was to experience such happiness while also grieving so deeply over Beth’s death. Amy’s presence gave Laurie an indescribable peace that calmed the swirl of his emotions.

***

Eventually, it was time to leave for their picnic. As Amy predicted, Flo preferred to stay with her mother. Owning only the one mourning dress, Amy had little to do to get ready. Laurie brought her to a sunny spot near the lake, spread out the blanket, and set the little basket of food to one side. They settled themselves on the ground and enjoyed the simple fare of bread and fruit Laurie had arranged.

Their conversation turned to his experience at college. “I see clearly now—after a few years' distance—that I could have done much better. Just think if I had not wasted time playing billiards.”

“Or smoking.” Amy gave him a severe look that made him laugh.

“I have given it up, my dear. Meg asked me so sweetly before I left that I promised. And I cannot go against a promise.”

An unpleasant thought suddenly occurred to Amy. “Do you consider a promise and a pledge the same thing?”

Laurie took an apple, cut it, and handed her half. “What kind of pledge?”

“Any kind.”

“Any kind?” He ducked his head to study her eyes. She saw the moment he understood. When Jo had rejected his offer of marriage, Laurie had pledged that he would never love another.

He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “I have a very good story to tell you. It involves the elegant Mrs. Darcy.”

Amy pressed her lips together. Whatever could Mrs. Darcy have to do with her question? But practiced manners won out, and she nodded that he should continue.

“The first time Mr. Darcy proposed, the then Miss Bennet adamantly refused him.”

“Truly?”

“Not only did she refuse him, but she vowed that he was the last man on earth she would ever marry.”

“My goodness! That is strong language, indeed.”

“It is. And she meant it, of course. However, as time wore on and she came to understand the situation better, she realized that not only would she marry him, but that he was the only man for her.”

Amy smiled. “That is very romantic.”

“Very. And I understand it completely. I swore that I would never love another as I loved Jo. I suppose, in a way, I hold to that. I love Jo as one loves a hero. She was larger than life—the one who pulled me out of darkness after my father died. But that is not love. Not the true love between a man and a woman.”

Amy peered at him intently. “You speak about her freely now.”

His look was serious. “She is my friend and your sister. She shall always be in our lives. It causes me no pain to speak of her.”

“I am glad of that.”

He gave a wry laugh. “You have seen all my follies! Each and every childhood mistake is known to you.”

“And mine to you! Oh, how horrid I was as a girl!”

“You weren’t the least bit horrid.”

“I was. I was too competitive with Jo and far too concerned with my appearance…a failing that plagues me still. I shudder to think of some of the things I said and did.”

“You grew into a lovely young woman and left behind those follies.”

“No one ever leaves all their struggles behind. But I think I have made improvements in some ways. I try to be good with more sincerity now than I ever did as a child.”

Laurie gazed at her with a solemn expression. “I have known you all my life, yet I sometimes feel as if I am meeting you for the first time.”

“What do you mean?”

“There is so much more to know about you. I want to know it all. Your thoughts and feelings, your worries and cares. I want to share my life with you.”

She had never dared to hope that he would consider her in this way. Now that he was here with her, it was more than she had ever imagined it could be. She felt safe with him—steady and sure—and she knew she truly had found her match.

They stayed in the garden for many hours, returning only when the nearby clock tower chimed the hour that signaled the time to change for dinner. When they parted at Amy’s hotel, Laurie bent low over her hand and kissed it.

“Goodbye for now, my darling. I shall be back before you can miss me.”

As she watched him walk away, Amy realized that would never be possible.

***

One afternoon, she expressed a desire to go boating on the lake. They had watched other couples punting across the gleaming water. As the weather was fine, Laurie dutifully procured a boat and some refreshments.

Amy entered the boat calmly, her American taste for adventure masking any fear she might have felt. If she was nervous about falling into the water, she didn’t show it. She let go of his hand as she sat across from him, and he gave her a wide smile.

“You did that remarkably well, my dear.”

“Did you expect otherwise?” Her chin went up in her adorable way, challenging him.

“No. You do everything remarkably well.”

At this compliment, she ducked her head, and he reveled in the blush that rose up her throat. How had he never noticed her reactions to him? He began to row, pulling them out onto the lake.

“Were you always this way with me? Was I too thick to notice?”

Her eyes flashed at him, and she gave a delicate little laugh. “Always what way?”

“You blush when I compliment you now. I wonder if you always did and I was just too obtuse.”

“Of course I didn’t! I trained myself quite well, you know.” She opened her parasol, the cheerful white lace contrasting sharply with her black gown. Though it had been nearly five months since Beth had died, Amy still wore mourning clothes.

“‘Trained yourself’? Whatever do you mean?”

Amy answered him easily enough, but she gazed intently at the mountains around them as she spoke. “I used to tell myself, ‘Laurie does not think of you that way. You will be respected if you cannot be loved.’”

Laurie stopped rowing. Her words struck him like an arrow to the heart.

“I knew you were in love with Jo, and I never thought her stupid enough to refuse you. So you see, I had to do something.” She gave a delicate shrug.

He pulled the oars in, settling them in their locks. Amy looked at him with surprise. He took both her hands in his and spoke directly into her beautiful blue eyes. “I am not in love with Jo.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“The moment I saw you in Nice, I knew things had changed between us. When you spoke of Fred Vaughn, I felt nettled. And when you explained that you loved someone that could not return your affections, I felt both angry for you and strangely relieved. In Paris, I kept picturing you in your blue gown with all those silly peacocks around you. When you wrote to me and told me that Fred had returned to England, a hope rose within me that I could not explain. I walked alone that day through Hyde Park and I knew. I knew I loved you in a way that I had never loved Jo.”

This heated speech was met with silence. Feeling that his love must be convinced further, he leaned forward and kissed her. When he pulled away, he kept her hands in his.

“I am sorry that I’ve been such an idiot. I am sorry that it was Fred who realized first what I could not. I am sorry that I could not understand what Jo saw so plainly. But more than anything else, I am sorry that I caused you pain.”

Amy’s eyes were wet, but she smiled through her tears. “Theodore Laurence, your affection has brought me more happiness than anything else in this world.”

His heart was too full; he was sure it would burst. Taking the oars once more, he rowed them far out onto the lake. The sunlight sparkled off the water, and the mountains around them were stark and stunningly beautiful. Amy opened the basket of food, and they ate the still-warm buns while enjoying the wild beauty around them.

After a time, when they decided they should return, Amy moved to sit beside him. “Let’s row together, shall we? You must be tired.”

“I am not, but I like these seating arrangements much better.” Again, he enjoyed her blush. He would compliment her every hour, every minute, just to see her alluring reaction.

A sudden surety settled in his breast. He could wait no longer.

“How well we row together!” She remarked, clearly pleased by the evenness of their progress through the water.

“We should row together always.”

Her stroke faltered. He docked his own oar before reaching across and securing hers. They drifted in silence for a moment before Laurie placed a hand on her cheek, gently turning her to face him.

“Will you, Amy dear? Will you marry me?” He could hear the anxiety in his own voice.

“Yes, Laurie.” Her voice was quiet but firm. She looked at him with the fierceness that was purely hers. “I will.”

He bent his head, kissing her tenderly. “I love you, Amy March.”

“I love you, Theodore Laurence.”

***

Amy watched Laurie jump out of the boat with the easy grace that was uniquely his. He turned and offered her his hand, and she took it with a freedom and lightness that were new to her. She would be his wife!

A wide smile spread across her face as she alighted on the dock. Laurie still held her hand and he smiled back at her, not needing to ask what made her so happy. He knew. He knew her in a way no one else ever had, and now that she need not be guarded around him, he would come to know her even better. It was with great reluctance that they parted at her hotel.

“I feel so lonely when you are gone,” she confessed. “Even though I know I could see you in a minute if I needed to.”

“It is the same for me, my love.”

“Will you come for dinner?”

“Nothing could keep me away.” He bent, kissed her hand, and took his leave. She watched until he was out of sight.

***

Aunt Carrol and Flo were all happiness and smiles for her until Amy brought up the idea of returning home without them.

“You cannot travel unaccompanied, Amy.” Aunt Carrol’s tone was firm.

“Grandfather will be with us,” Amy protested. “And I have known the Laurences all my life.”

“That may be, but now you are a young woman, and you are engaged to Mr. Laurence. You cannot travel with him without a proper chaperone.”

“Mama, surely it will do no harm for them to travel together,” Flo said. Amy threw her a grateful look.

“I have been charged with protecting your cousin’s reputation,” Aunt Carrol replied, not unkindly. “I understand your wish to return home, Amy, but I cannot let you go unaccompanied. And I am afraid I must keep Flo with me.”

“Of course you must.” Amy’s good breeding kept her frustration at bay. Somehow, she and Laurie would find a solution.

Grandfather was on his way to Vevay. Perhaps he could convince Aunt Carrol. They had been friends for many years, after all.