Chapter 6

Joel

"And one. And two. And—" Oh. "You're so cute."

Naked too…well, Tate was naked.

I couldn't help hurrying out of the kitchen to go see them better as they came out of the bathroom and the view was definitely worth it. "You wrapped Dean up."

It was adorable.

His towel was low around his hips and looked like one good tug would leave him naked. He never looked like that and always came out of the bathroom fully dressed, so it was a wonderful present for slaving away in the kitchen.

Dean blushed and looked like he wanted to cross his arms over his chest, but Tate laughed and nodded as he leered at our Dean. "Yes. But no touching. Your hands look sticky."

They both looked down at my underwear-covered dick and frowned.

"It's eggs, not cum." I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to do that in the kitchen for a variety of reasons. "No burning anything important. No getting cum in places that are hard to clean. No doing anything unhygienic in the kitchen. No giving myself an orgasm when I can talk someone else into doing it."

My list of rules was very reasonable but made Tate laugh again. "You're right. Someone else doing it is always better. Now, come give Dean a kiss before you go back and check on whatever you were doing."

"Making scrambled eggs." So I couldn't get distracted. "Quick kiss and no touching."

Holding my hands out wide made Dean forget to be nervous and he chuckled as I rushed over like I had wings and gave him a quick peck. "Do you think there are faeries like there are pups and ponies?"

My question had Dean's eyes going wide but he quickly shifted to frowning as he thought about it. "Yes, there has to be, but I don't think they would get tails."

"Oh, good point." According to the internet, the tail portion was very important. "I'll think about that."

After I made the eggs.

I heard a kissing sound from the living room, but before I could get distracted, Tate made it clear what was happening. "Go get dressed. No underwear but you can put on whatever regular clothes you feel like."

Oh, I liked that order…it was teasing for everybody.

"Why didn't I get to kiss you, Master?" Yes, he was definitely still Master if he was giving orders. "I'm feeling neglected."

Communication was so important.

"Brat." Maybe, but his happy tone said I didn't have to worry about the consequences of my choice of communication styles. "I'm going to give you a bigger one once you're not sticky."

"I like big ones." I didn't realize what I'd said until Tate snorted out a laugh. "Okay, I think I'll like big ones of those too."

Hmm.

"Big ones. Little ones. Fat ones. Skinny ones. They're all amazing." Yes, I could appreciate all of them under the right circumstances.

The problem was figuring out my circumstances.

"Are you talking about penises or pastries, naughty boy?" Tate came up behind me and looked over my shoulder at the bowl of eggs. "What smells so good?"

"Chocolate croissants and the potatoes that I'm frying and possibly the fruit I cut up." Hmm. "I'm kind of hungry."

And they'd been in the bathroom for longer than they thought.

"Orgasms will do that to a naughty boy." Kissing my neck, Tate stroked my sides and rocked his erection against my ass. "Thank you for making us breakfast."

"That's…" Wow. "That's a really good way to say thank you."

Tate made a naughty, pleased sound. "I'll remember that, and I'm also going to remember that I owe you some attention and I want to orgasm with you at some point."

That was a wonderful plan.

"Yes, please." Pushing my ass back, I wiggled and clenched my cheeks. "I won't let you forget the plan."

Chuckling, he squeezed my hips just hard enough to help me remember who was in control. "Don't make me come yet, slut. I want to be able to enjoy you."

Even better plan.

"How do you want to enjoy me?" It was a very good question, but he got distracted kissing my neck. And my ear. And then back on my neck. "You're messing with me."

Tate nearly giggled before he stepped back and spanked my bottom lightly. "You're such a smart cutie. But food first. Dirty talk second."

"I can multitask. Honest." I could try at the very least.

I looked over my shoulder to see Tate rolling his eyes.

Okay, maybe I didn't multitask well all the time. But I wouldn't know about how dirty talk would change things until I'd gotten to do it.

"Well, I have to figure out if I can dirty talk and cook at some point, so there's no time like the present." I shrugged and went back to whisking the eggs. "You're preventing me from figuring out how successful I'll be."

"You're juggling like five different things in the kitchen right now, so forgive me if I want you to think about what you're doing." Tate went over to the cabinet that held the plates and grabbed three down for us. "But let's go back to the dirty talk aspect of this. You put that you liked it on your list, but I can't remember if you mentioned how much practice you've had."

Hmm.

"I don't remember if we talked about that or not. If it was after the second round of juice then that memory will be very vague." BSJ would've been a different story. Before second juice, I could've remembered a lot more. ASJ the timeline was fuzzier.

"Yeah, we need more sober conversations." Tate walked by and kissed my shoulder. "Juice, water, or coffee?"

"Yes, please." My answer was true but also made him laugh.

"Alright, we'll do all the liquids and hopefully that will help fix whatever we killed with all that alcohol last night." Moving around the kitchen, unfortunately, Tate kept his hands to himself. "Alright, back to the dirty talk. How much do you like and how much have you done?"

Very good questions.

"The internet said to answer my Dom's questions very clearly and not worry about oversharing or telling my Dom about past relationships. I'm not supposed to do that with regular dates but Doms aren't regular. They're like dating with lots of fiber." Learning two sets of dating rules sucked because I was still fucking up the first ones, but Tate was Tate and he wouldn't think I was an asshole no matter what I accidentally said.

"Oh, and the guys downstairs seem to talk about everything if we need real-world examples. They don't hide anything." It was very helpful.

Tate barked out a laugh. "I'm not sure if we should use them as an example of anything besides being weird."

Possibly.

"But yes, I want long answers and I'm not the jealous type when it comes to stuff like this." Tate looked serious as I glanced over, and I must've looked skeptical because he shook his head, trying not to grin. "I'm not even going to ask what's going through your head, but we're going to prove me right. Tell me something and test me."

He was so dramatic.

"Fine." It would really suck if I was right and he got pouty. "I've practiced talking dirty with people online, and it's not hard, but I don't think I'm having as much fun as they are. I've been told I'm very creative."

It was just slightly confusing.

"We're going to come back to the you not having as much fun part. Me and Dean have figured that out, but what did you like about the dirty talk part?" Tate just got more and more interesting.

"You promise we'll come back to that?" Because I was kind of tired of being told I was a cold fish. "Oh, I remembered what I forgot last night. Someone called me a cold fish. It wasn't a duck."

Words were so hard.

Tate snorted. "You're not a cold fish."

"Am I asexual? That doesn't seem right because I have a startling number of sexual thoughts about fantasy people and imaginary people and you and Dean because you're my people." I shrugged when Tate looked like he was doing his best not to snicker. "I didn't think I was but that guy I went out with a few weeks ago was adamant about it."

It was hard to argue with some people.

"I don't believe you're asexual. I think your explanation proves it without a doubt." Tate waved his hand as the timer on the stove went off. "Alright, prove you can multitask. Answer my question."

He was bossy.

"What question?" Dean finally wandered out of his bedroom after deciding he couldn't hide and get food at the same time.

"I asked Joel to tell me what kind of dirty talk he likes and how much experience he has with it." Tate's answer had Dean frowning, but he didn't seem worried because he came into the kitchen and started making coffee.

I even got a quick kiss on my head as he walked by.

"In relation to real people or are imaginary ones included?" Dean asked good questions even without coffee.

It must've been the orgasm.

"Both." They were ridiculous if they thought I was only going to include verifiably live people.

Ignoring the odd looks they were giving each other and me, I focused on my two tasks…explaining dirty talk and finishing breakfast. I hadn't agreed on three, so I refused to give any brain space to anything else.

"Well, I don't mind talking about how sexy my feet are if that's what someone really likes but it doesn't do anything for me." Croissants out of the oven. Check. "I've been told I give very good feet, though."

That was very sweet but not helpful for me personally.

Eggs in the pan. Check. Oven off. Check.

"I had fun talking about my cute little penis last night, so now I'm wishing I'd played around with that more, but that's okay, I like figuring out new things with you guys." Potatoes done. Check. Stir the eggs. Check.

"Most of the time the dirty talk I've done is just pretending it's a regular sex scene. I think it's all regular. Maybe the feet stuff isn't regular?" Fruit out of the fridge. Check. Stir the eggs more. Check. "But it's not polite to tell someone that feet aren't sexy. So I just play along because it's all good practice."

Hmm.

As I made sure the eggs didn't stick, I looked around at Dean and Tate. "Do either of you like feet?"

It must've been a hard question because they looked down at their own feet and then everyone else's.

Dean shook his head first. "Um, no, but I think I'm in the I'll be polite camp too. I think? So if it's someone else's thing, I can play along."

He was really sweet.

But as I moved the eggs off the burner and started plating up everyone's food, I realized Tate hadn't answered. Dean must've realized that too because we both turned to Tate at the same time. He just looked thoughtful. Did he like feet? I wasn't sure I knew what he was thinking, so I stepped closer to Dean. "What's he doing?"

"Overthinking something." Dean's answer wasn't as helpful as he thought it was.

Since it seemed polite to give him another minute to finish overthinking, I got breakfast ready and made sure Dean had given everyone else coffee too. Most of the time he never remembered that until after he'd drunk his coffee.

It was frustrating but he didn't mean to be rude, so I just nagged since that seemed to be the best way to fix the situation. Now it only took one raised eyebrow to make him realize what he'd done. My mother was very proud of how well I'd learned that trick.

With food on the table and coffee in front of him, Tate picked up one of the croissants and frowned. "Last night we talked about you not showing your penis to anyone else and we need to come back to that because I thought of something. But would it be unreasonable if I said that I didn't want you practicing talking dirty to anyone else online, even about the feet stuff? It just seems like something that should be between us while we're…us."

"Okay." It seemed like a reasonable boundary to me.

But Dean was quiet.

Hmm.

Turning to him, I decided to just be curious. "Are you talking dirty to people online too?"

Had I been talking to him without realizing it?

"Are you sure you're not one of the foot people? They're kind of shy, and well, awkward, so it's okay if you need to change your answer." Sometimes questions were hard the first time.

Dean blinked, shaking his head. "No. I'm not. I didn't."

Letting out a deep breath, he closed his eyes and tried again. "You guys make me say the weirdest stuff. No, I'm not a foot guy. I just hadn't realized you were talking dirty to people online. Um, I'm going to agree with Tate that I'd rather it just be between us, and I guess the fact that there's an us was still startling."

Pausing for a moment, he let out another breath and opened his eyes. "Can I eat now? Joel makes really good breakfasts and I'm hungry and I want to make sure I eat before you guys distract us again."

I was really hoping for a good distraction and it must've shown on my face because Tate laughed and shook his head like we were all ridiculous. "Food before distractions. Got to make sure Joel has enough energy for what I have planned."

We had plans.

Sexy ones.

And hopefully naughty sexy ones.

Yes, energy was going to be very important.