Chapter 12

Katie watched Nick sleep for a minute and then grabbed her notebook so she could work on the assignment about goals. She really hadn't expected submission to require so much paperwork. She'd thought it would all be… sexy domination. And even though Nick had told her repeatedly there was more to it, she hadn't entirely grasped that.

Even when they'd talked about punishments it hadn't clicked, and that was mostly because she'd been so fascinated with her idea that being punished was hot, that she hadn't really listened. Sentences and essays? That sounded more like class than a kinky relationship.

But as she sat there, thinking hard about the questions he'd asked, she realized that the structure did appeal to her. She couldn't have said why, but it felt less like being treated as a child when everything was being built on what she wanted. Feminism was appeased by the idea that he'd just be helping her with goals she was setting.

Rules sucked. She'd never liked being hemmed in by them as a teenager. She'd gone out of her way to break free of her mother's control, and the control of Carol's church. And now here she was voluntarily agreeing to let him enforce rules about her life. It was weird, and she wasn't sure how she was going to feel about it.

But Nick had said he would do whatever he had to in order to make it work. That implied he'd be willing to drop the rules if she couldn't deal with it. It was comforting.

She decided to stop thinking of this as an assignment for him, and treat it like it was a list for herself. What would make her life better? What did she want to work on—people made lists like that all the time. It helped.

Oddly enough it was the short-term stuff she had trouble with. Maybe it was easier to think about the future than the present, so she'd start there.

She needed a better paying job. One with hours that matched his a little closer. The opposite thing they had going on only worked if he hung out in the bar while she worked, which he could only do on the weekends. She didn't love working until two in the morning either.

Going back to school and finishing her degree… that was obviously on the list too. And eventually she'd like to get out of this small town—even if it was just moving to another that wasn't much different. It was a fresh start she needed.

So that was her future sorted. Now, for the present. She tapped her pen and wrestled with her thoughts. Whatever she put down she was going to have to follow through on, Nick would see to that. It made her want to put only easy things, but if she was going to do this, she needed to do it right.

She finally scrawled down the things she was always telling herself to be better at. She had to admit she needed a push with most of them. Maybe the whole rule thing wouldn't be such a bad idea, if it helped her do the things she'd been wanting to do anyway.

Sighing, she dropped the notebook on the table. There, her first submissive assignment was done, and the day was heading into late afternoon. Time to start planning for dinner. The only problem was, aside from the things she'd picked up at the drugstore, there wasn't much in the house to cook.

Nick was still asleep on the couch, and looked like he'd be out for a while, so she decided to go take care of the shopping. An hour later, she'd emptied the rest of her bank account, and filled the backseat of her car with not nearly enough bags of food, considering what she'd paid.

She consoled herself that Nick had his wallet back now and would be able to repay her for the medications, so she wouldn't be entirely broke. Feeding two was going to be tight, but she could probably manage until her next paycheck.

Nick was awake and reading a battered old paperback when she came in the door with her arms loaded. "Hey darlin'. I was wondering where you went."

She held up the bags in response. "How do you feel about meatloaf for dinner?"

"Sounds good. Course, I'll eat just about anything that doesn't run away from me," Nick said, laughing.

She set the bags on the table and turned to examine him. The stress lines around his eyes had faded back to normal and his smile was relaxed. He was obviously feeling better. "Have a nice nap?"

"Yep, I needed that. Had some trouble getting comfortable last night and I don't think I slept well."

"Is it the couch? You could sleep with me tonight… or I can take the couch if you think it would be better."

"Not the couch, just the knee throbbing. And sleeping without you will never be better, but we'll see if my leg is up to trying the bed later."

"Okay, well let me grab the rest of the food and I'll start dinner."

She was so used to doing these things for herself, that she didn't even realize why he was frowning as he watched her make several trips inside. "What's wrong?" she asked finally.

"Nothing, darlin'. Just frustrated I can't help."

She rolled her eyes. "Stop that, cowboy. I'm perfectly able to carry in groceries. I do it every week," she reminded him as she began unloading the bags. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I just picked up general stuff. Money is tight right now, so we'll be eating a lot of pasta, but I promise you're going to love my lasagna."

"That reminds me. Monday when the bank is open, can you take me in to deposit the prize check? I'll get some money for you then to cover the pills, and the groceries."

"Nick, you don't need to pay for the food."

"Don't argue with me, Katiegirl. You know as well as I do that I eat a hell of a lot more. Besides, it's not right for you to be supporting me without me kicking in a share."

She needed the money for his scripts back. They hadn't been cheap but charging him for groceries made her uncomfortable. She was the host. It was her job to feed guests.

But… fuck, she really couldn't afford to stand on pride when her bank account was at zero. "Thanks, Daddy. I appreciate it," was all she could say.

He rested while she cooked, but levered himself up and moved to the table before she could bring it to him.

It was over dinner that the subject of her spanking came up. "We'll be handling your punishment after we eat." He dropped the bomb casually, just as she'd taken a bite.

She almost choked. After that her appetite seemed to vanish. She picked at her food, poking at it with a fork and sighing.

She loved being spanked. She teased him into it all the time. So, why was her stomach doing flips? Why was she suddenly so aware of her ass pressing against the chair seat?

The arousal was still there. She could feel the tickling between her thighs, the way her pussy would clench when she thought about his hard hand coming down on her butt. But there was also this weird kind of dread.

It was something she'd wanted, but now that she'd actually earned it… she was having second thoughts.

Nick plowed through two helpings of meatloaf and mashed potatoes in the time it took her to clear half of her plate. And then they talked about her other assignment while she picked and nibbled at what was left. When it became clear that she wasn't going to eat any more, he cleared his throat.

"I think it's about time we took care of this, don't you?"

"Nick, maybe we should—"

"Daddy. It's Daddy or Sir when you're in trouble, Katlynn Jean."

She swallowed. Her middle name even… she really was in trouble. "Yes, Daddy. I was just thinking that maybe…" She trailed off.

"Yes?"

"I-I just..." She honestly couldn't think of an excuse or argument that would make any sense. "Nevermind."

"I imagine you're pretty torn right now. You've been wanting to experience a real punishment for a while, but so far, you've found the reality not fun, so you're probably wondering if that's going to translate over to the spanking too."

It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway.

"It will. You will not enjoy this. I'm sure you're probably turned on right now, and that's not unusual for someone who enjoys spanking. But that will probably go away pretty fast once we get started. And if it doesn't, well, going unsatisfied is its own kind of punishment, as you discovered yesterday."

She bit her bottom lip and groaned low in her throat. She'd forgotten about that. "But what about your leg? Maybe we should put this off until it's better."

"My leg won't be involved in this. Just my arm. As much as I like to bend you over my knee, we're going to make use of the table this time instead." He patted the scarred surface with the palm of his hand. "It's just the right height to bend you over, while I sit here nice and comfortable."

"Oh."

"Why don't you clear the table. Just put everything over on the counter for now. And you can bring back that nice big wooden spoon when you're done." He jerked his chin at the canister on the counter. It held an assortment of cooking utensils, including an oversized stirring spoon that had been around since her childhood.

It was too long for standard pans, so Katie never used it. Her mother had found it handy when she made food for socials and potlucks in deep pots, but Katie didn't cook for large groups, and it had just been sitting there gathering dust.

She looked at it and then back to her Daddy. "I-I…"

"Now." His voice sharpened. The usual humor in his expression was gone. "I'm not happy with your behavior yesterday, and you really don't want to dig that hole any deeper."

That got her moving. Making things any worse would be a bad idea. It only took a couple of minutes to move everything off the table, but she dragged it out as long as possible.

The spoon was heavy in her hands, and she passed it to him with a belly full of regrets. "I'm really sorry I broke my promise and lied to you," she said.

Nick looked at her for a long moment. His expression was unreadable, and his dark eyes were like deep wells without the usual warmth. "Honesty is important in any relationship, Katie, but especially in a D/s dynamic. I expect you to slip up now and then, but when it comes to honesty those slips are going to have harsh consequences."

Her ass tightened reflexively, and she quickly tucked her hands into her pockets to keep them from trembling. She remembered feeling like this as a kid, when she was in trouble, and waiting for punishment. "I just wanted to—"

"It doesn't matter. You already told me you thought it was unfair and that you wanted to see. But we had a whole conversation about why I didn't think it was a good idea, and you pretended to go along with it, knowing full well you were going to sneak out."

She looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry."

"You're definitely going to be. You like being a brat, and I don't mind being a Tamer. It's fun to try to keep up with you, but you're going to learn there are some rules not worth breaking. I consider honesty essential, so you won't be getting any leniency when you break this particular rule."

It would have been nice if she'd known that earlier. Not that it would have mattered. She'd been determined to have her way. But she knew Nick didn't like to be lied to. He'd mentioned it a number of times.

"That's why we'll be repeating today's lesson every day this week," he added. "I expect by the time we're through, you'll think twice before lying to me."

She'd forgotten about that. She flicked a glance at the spoon and gulped. Fuck.

"Drop your jeans and underwear, Sweetheart. Daddy's about to teach you a lesson. In fact, you might as well kick them all the way off. You won't need them."

Her legs trembled as she untied her shoes and pushed them to the side. She slid her jeans and underwear down slowly; sneaking looks at him as she eased them down her legs. He didn't say anything, just watched until she was bare from the waist down.

And her pussy spasmed when the cool air brushed across her damp curls. How the fuck am I so turned on by this? It was crazy and she knew that spoon was going to hurt too much to be any fun at all.

He shifted his chair back, turning it out slightly to make room for her. "Bend over the table, and grab the other side. I don't want to see those hands move. This spoon is heavy and if those fingers get in the way it could hurt them badly."

"It's not going to be good for my ass either," she muttered as she obeyed.

He laughed. "Your ass can handle it."

She slowly leaned over, shivering as her shirt rode up and her bare stomach pressed against the cool surface. She clenched her ass cheeks tight, dreading the first spank.

"Loosen up." He tapped the bowl of the spoon against her rump, which didn't make it any easier to obey.

Katie took a deep breath and forced herself to unclench.

"I'm disappointed that this is the first punishment you've earned, Katlynn Jean. I hope I don't have to punish you for this particular thing again for a long time."

Something about the tone brought tears to her eyes. This really wasn't a game. She could hear the disappointment in his voice, and the guilt was starting to build up. She almost wanted the spanking to start… right up until it did, and then she quickly wanted it to stop.

There was no slow build. No warm-up with his hand. The second she relaxed, the spoon swung hard, crashing down on the center of one cheek with enough force to startle a yelp out of her.

The yelps kept coming, getting louder and louder as the horrible spoon bounced back and forth, peppering her ass with burning smacks. He'd never spanked her so hard or fast. There was barely a second to catch her breath, before the next stroke was landing.

And it hurt!

It hurt so much more than she'd expected. And he was right, the arousal dried right up. There was absolutely nothing sexy about being punished.

"Please, Daddy, please!" she wailed. Her voice sounded high-pitched and frantic. Her ass swayed and dipped trying to avoid the wooden implement, but no matter how much she moved, he connected with his target every time.

Her backside began to burn. The sting was overwhelming, and it kept getting worse. Despite his warning, she let go of the table and tried to stand up. Her hands were halfway back to cover her ass, when he stopped her.

"Are you safewording?" he demanded.

"N-no, but, it hurts too much. I just need a break. Just a minute. Okay?" Her voice was furry and rough.

"You're not getting a break. You can safeword, or you can bend your ass back over. Punishment is meant to be hard to take."

Nick had never been that stern with her during a scene before. He'd always slowed down, paused, when the pain was building too fast. He gave her time to get used to each level so she could… enjoy it. Oh, but of course she wasn't supposed to enjoy this.

She chewed on her bottom lip, wondering if there was some argument she could make that would change his mind. She couldn't say she was near her limit; they'd definitely played harder than this. More importantly, she'd broken his rules knowing full well it was wrong.

"Katie, I'm going to count to three, and if you're not back in place, I'm going to use this spoon on your inner thighs. Now, unless you want to be walking bowlegged tomorrow, I suggest you hug that table like it's your favorite pillow."

That decided her. The thought of that hard wood attacking the tender skin of her inner thighs nearly threw her into a panic. She dropped back to the table and hooked her fingers around the far edge again. "Not so hard though? Please?" The whine in her tone bothered her, but it really did hurt a lot.

He didn't bother to reply to her request. She hadn't expected him to.

"Since this is your first punishment, I'm not going to add anything for getting up, but I won't be so nice if it happens again. This spanking is going to be as long as it needs to be for the lesson to sink in."

She didn't like the sound of that. And he was going to do this six more times? She shuddered and let her forehead thump against the cool surface of the table.

The spoon whistled through the air and landed with a solid smack across the top of her left thigh. Her leg kicked up and she hissed in a breath. She shouldn't have been surprised, of course he was going to spank the thighs too, but somehow, she'd just… put the possibility out of her mind.

The second landed on the other leg and she knew she was going to cry. Katie wasn't a crier when it came to physical pain. She never had been, but now she could feel the itch at the back of her eyes as they watered, and as fast as she blinked the sheen of tears away, it just kept coming back.

Two. Three. Four. Five. She kept a count going in her head, somehow sure that he'd stop when they reached a magical number. Maybe it was ten… but then they passed that.

Maybe it would be twenty. Or twenty-five, but the spoon kept paddling her sore hot flesh, until tears started to pool on the table beneath her face. He never smacked the same spot twice, and she was grateful for that.

He didn't lecture her during the punishment. He probably figured she was too busy paying attention to how much it hurt, which was true.

She assured him she was sorry over and over. She promised not to lie to him again. Her brain scrabbled desperately for anything that might convince him to stop. She started to sniffle and then before she knew it, she was sobbing.

"I'm sorry. I'm s-s-sorry, Daddy." It was the first time she'd cried that hard in… she didn't know how long. She hadn't cried like that when her mother died. Not even when she'd been forced to drop out of school.

It felt like a dam breaking. Every bit of sadness, stress, and upset she'd been shoving down for years, gushed up and out like a geyser. She pulled into herself emotionally, and physically her body tried to copy by tensing until she seemed to shrink.

Nick stopped then, setting the spoon down. She noticed distantly, but didn't connect it to the fact that the sharp fresh pain had stopped arriving at regular intervals, and was now simply a throbbing ache. Nothing but the torrent of emotions threatening to drown her really registered.

He shifted in his seat and tried to tug her backwards. "Sweetheart, let go of the table now," he said, when she continued to cling to it with both hands.

She obeyed without conscious thought, and he pulled her back into his lap. He grunted when she accidentally bumped his sore knee, but that was his only reaction.

Soon she was settled in his arms, her head against his chest. His plaid shirt did a nice job soaking up her tears, and they kept falling for a long time after the spanking stopped.

Nick made soft soothing sounds, much the way he might reassure an upset animal. And at the moment Katie wasn't far off. Her higher thought processes had been suspended. It was nothing but emotions and physical sensations.

Her ass throbbed in time with her racing heart. Her skin felt like it had been scalded, but that was nothing in comparison to the emotions that were running amuck in her head.

"That's my girl. It's all over now, sweetheart. You're my good girl again," he said. Just a running litany of soft, comforting words.

She was barely aware of them at first, but the tone helped. His low voice reminded her that she wasn't alone, and she used it as a towline to pull herself back into the world. Her first conscious thought was that she was clinging to him. Her fingers were clutching at his shirt.

And then she remembered his injuries and her head shot up. "Oh no! Your leg! Are you okay? Am I hurting you?" She twisted in his lap, trying to look back and see.

"Ouch. Well, you weren't, but you are now. Stay still, darlin'."

She froze immediately. "Sorry." Slowly she settled back against him, doing her best not to jar his leg. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and let out a long slow breath.

"I wasn't expecting to… feel so much," she said after a minute or so.

He squeezed her. "You talking about emotions or pain?"

A snort laugh burst from her. "Both! No, I just… I mean, I knew it would hurt more. I just didn't expect it to be so… powerful?" She wasn't sure if that was the right word. Was there even a way to describe the complete avalanche of emotions?

"Punishment can be like that, sweetheart. It has a way of getting into those nooks and crannies and cleaning them out. How do you feel?"

"Well, my ass feels like it's black and blue." She looked back over her shoulder, checking to see if it actually was.

He laughed. "It's not. A few bruises, sure, but nothing major. I meant how do you feel in your head."

She let out a dramatic sigh. Actually, now that it was over, the aftermath didn't feel much worse than any long spanking. It just, somehow, hadn't felt like it at the time.

"I'm not sure why I reacted like that. I know we've played harder. I don't like wood, but it's not like you haven't used paddles and hairbrushes on my ass before. It just… it was… so much." She could feel her voice starting to rise again, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"That would be the emotional part, honey." He rubbed her back in soothing circles. "Punishment is different from regular scenes in a lot of ways. It's not something I could really explain until you felt it for yourself."

"Yeah." She went quiet, thinking for a while. He gave her the time to decompress, continuing to rub her back and nuzzle her hair, until she was ready to talk again. "I feel empty, but in a good way," she said finally.

"Good. When it comes to punishing a submissive, there's more to it than just correcting behavior. Catharsis is important. Subs, especially bratty ones, often misbehave on purpose when they need that emptying of emotions."

She could see that. It made sense. Despite hating every minute of that spanking, now that it was over, she felt lighter. Free. "And you've forgiven me for breaking my promise and lying?" she asked. Her voice was hesitant but there was a hopeful note to it.

"Of course, darlin'. You know, my telling you to stay home was for your own good anyway. I was looking out for you. You didn't seem to be handling the idea of the rodeo very well, and I didn't want you to get all upset."

"Yeah, well… I'm still glad I was there."

"You are?" He looked down at her.

"Yes," she said firmly. "It would have been so much worse to find out you were injured later. Besides you needed me, and I was glad to be there to help."