Chapter 5

Lucifer's POV

She looks like she got hit by a bus.

Catalina did not look well this morning. Her hair was disheveled and her large green eyes were swollen and puffy as if she had been crying.

Why would she be crying?

"I would like to apologize for what I said last night. It was out of line." I said to her as she reached into the fridge and pulled out a cider.

It is eight in the morning and she's already drinking!

She ignored me and walked back to her room and I heard the slight click of a lock.

Well Then.

Perhaps she just wasn't a morning person. I made the mental note as I grabbed my cup of coffee and began to roam around Gabriel's home. Despite being a bit on the luxurious side, the place had very little character. Everything was either white or beige or black. Typical neutral colors. Just like Gabriel. Neutral. I continued my walk around, everything was the same except for this dark green wooden door with a silver knob. I didn't know why I felt so intrigued but I was. Slowly, I opened the door and was greeted by the smell of vanilla and lavender. A library. A beautiful one as well. It was a large dimly lit square room with four walls that were painted the same dark green color as the door except for one wall that was completely covered in moss with two portraits hanging. I immediately recognized the woman known as Nyx, the goddess of Night, and Hecate, the goddess of magic and witchcraft.

On the opposite side are six floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, filled with mostly hardcover books but the occasional paperback is in there. Tucked into the corner was a black velvet chair with a matching nightstand that was currently housing a gold lamp and some kind of wax melter.

I turned around and saw the crescent moon that was painted right above the door and the night sky that was painted on the back of the door.

Perhaps Gabriel isn't as boring as I thought.

Instinctively, I made my way over to the impressive bookshelf. There were so many and they each looked unique in their own special way. Some had slightly yellow pages, displaying that they had been here for ages, while others still had their stickers on them, displaying how new and shiny they were.

I was just about to pick up a book with a particularly interesting cover when a sudden sharp pain hit my back. I turned and saw Catalina standing in the doorway, I could see my reflection in her eyes and notice my eyes were no longer the dark brown they once were. They were pitch black and yet she stood in front of me, unafraid, unyielding, and overly confident.

"Hasn't anyone told you it's impolite to touch what doesn't belong to you?"

Arrogant Bitch.

"I didn't realize Gabriel was such an active reader."

Catalina walked in and stared at the rows and rows of books,

"They aren't Gabriel's, They're mine."

I glanced back at her and I could feel my eyebrows move up in a questioning look,

"You've read all these books?" She looked me up and down as if she were some predator assessing her prey,

"Yeah."

"Impressive. It must have taken you years to get through all of them." She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest.

I glanced back at her as she took her eyes off mine and glanced back at the books,

"There isn't much to do but read or go crazy when you're locked up all the time and escapism is cheaper than most therapists."

Locked up? What could this girl possibly know about being locked up

"What would you know about being locked up?" I caught myself asking before I could even stop myself.

She slowly reached over and plucked a book off the shelf. From the slightly yellow pages, I could tell she had this book for a while, and she slowly began to walk to the door.

"Word of advice Lucifer, Don't go around touching my things."

"Word of advice Catalina, Don't tell the Devil what to fucking do."

Without so much as another glance at me, she walked out the door and gently closed the door behind her.

This was her room. Her space. The essence of the person she was.

Interesting.

I glanced around the room again. The dark paint that covered the walls, the little crystals she had displayed on some of the bookshelves along with a few trinkets here and there. There were no windows. The room was dark yet it presented a cozy undertone. The twinkling lights streamed against the ceiling added a bit more light to the room. The entire room had hints of whimsy and fantastical elements. It was as if you had walked into a library tucked inside of a fantasy novel. I half expected a fairy to start flying around the room.

They would love a place like this.

The room presented itself as cold and dark, yet when you looked closer there were so many treasures to behold.

* * *

"Lucifer, where is Catalina?" Gabriel asked.

He had been gone all day so I was surprised to see him home this late. After the incident in the library, Catalina still hadn't emerged from her room. That was eight hours ago.

"I'm not a zoo keeper Gabriel, how should I know where your rambunctious friend is?" I responded as I made my way to the kitchen and poured myself another drink. Gabriel turned to speak, A hint of concern flashing in his eyes,

"Relax, she's in her room."

"Everything went okay today?" Gabriel asked and I could hear the slight hint of concern in his voice but I smirked and told him,

"Everything is fine, she was just upset when she found me in the library."

Gabriel snorted,

"Something funny brother?" Gabriel laughed as he grabbed a drink out of the fridge.

"Just surprised that she let you leave the library alive."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Gabriel leaned against the counter and took a minute before he responded,

"Catalina is very protective of her books. They're like a security blanket for her."

"Security blanket for what?"

Gabriel remained silent and for a moment I didn't think he was going to answer me,

"Earlier she said that there wasn't much to do but read when you're locked up all the time,"

Gabriel's hand began to turn white as he clutched the edge of the counter tighter,

"Want to tell me what she meant by that, Gabriel?"

"It is not my story to tell." He explained as he finished his drink in one big swing.

"I'm going to get washed up for dinner." Gabriel took off in the direction of his room but I found myself staring at the hallway to the library.

Locked up.

* * *

I found myself making my way towards her door. She hadn't acknowledged me all day but the least she could do was be polite and acknowledge Gabriel. I knocked on her door. Silence. I knocked again. I knew she was in there, there was nowhere else she could go, I was debating breaking down the door when I heard another door close, I opened her door to find Catalina draped in a towel, sitting on her bathroom counter applying makeup.

"Get out." She said so effortlessly as if she was unfazed by my presence.

"Gabriel's home I thought you might like to say hello to him."

Silence. She ignored me as she continued to put on her makeup. Not even looking in my direction through the mirror.

"Are you going to ignore me?"

Nothing.

"Real fucking mature of you."

I turned to leave her room but the sound of her slamming the bathroom door shut stopped me.

Unbelievable.

I turned and slammed her bedroom door shut.

She wants to be alone? Very well then she can die alone for all I care.

She was angry and not in the mood for anything and I wasn't in the mood to deal with her.

* * *

The sound of a slight click of a door sounded throughout the quiet, almost peaceful home. I lifted my head as I heard her door open and gently close, and the sound of heels clicking on the ground shortly followed.

"It's 9:30 at night, where are you going?" Gabriel asked her, peering his head over my shoulder to see Catalina, dressed in a red corset top that emphasized her large chest, light blue skinny jeans, and black heels with tiny little spikes on them. Her hair was straight as it always was and effortlessly framed around her face. She had dark smokey makeup that accentuated her eyes and strangely enough, she had applied enough makeup to cover her freckles.

What a shame.

"Out." She replied as she grabbed her small purse from the living room.

"Well, can you at least be home by three this time? And keep your location on please." Gabriel asked as he got up and walked over to embrace her. She rolled her eyes but a small smirk pierced her lips as she embraced him back.

"Fine," she replied as she let go of Gabriel and began to walk towards the door,

"AND CALL IF YOU NEED US!" he shouted as the door closed behind her.

Of course, she ignored him but I had the feeling she heard what he said. However, I couldn't stop myself from going up to the door and watching as she drove off.

"Brother do us both a favor and leave me out of her phone contacts, the last thing I need is my phone blowing up with her idiocies."

"Maybe we should go with her to make sure she stays out of trouble," Gabriel said and immediately tried to get past me to his car. I raised my hand and he instantly stopped.

"She does this often?" I asked Gabriel,

"Yeah, she probably won't be home by three so I'll just end up waiting for her to get back at whatever time she strolls in."

Unacceptable.

"Lucifer, I think we should just go with her and make sure she's okay."

"No," I told him.

Gabriel looked at me as if I had grown three heads.

"She has to hit rock bottom before she can begin to climb back up."

"How is that going to help her? We're supposed to be stopping this." Gabriel questioned,

"We will help her. Trust me, Gabriel."

I looked at Gabriel and saw a look of understanding. He might not like it but he understood that unless Catalina wanted the help, no one would be able to help her and the only way she would be able to see that she needed help, was for her to hit rock bottom first. We could yell and scream and beg and plead with her all day but it wouldn't make a difference. If we were going to help her, she needed to acknowledge that she needed it and wanted it. She had to show that she wanted to be saved. That she wanted to live.

* * *

"You're late." I slammed my glass down on the island as Catalina had tried and utterly failed to walk through the door quietly and unnoticed. Gabriel had gotten called in for something so I agreed to sit and wait up for her. She was supposed to be home by three. It was currently four-thirty in the morning.

"And you're a prick, now are we done stating the obvious?" She sneered back as she leaned up against the door and began taking off her ridiculously tall heels.

Honestly, how has she not fallen and snapped her neck wearing those?

"You're unbelievable you know that!" I sneered back at her as I inched a bit closer,

"Gabriel opens his home to you, helps you, takes care of you and you take advantage of him and treat him like shit!"

Catalina remained silent,

"He asked one thing of you tonight, ONE THING! And you couldn't even do that for him."

"I didn't-"

"I'm not done."

I inched closer, my face just a few mere inches from hers. I was so close I could practically smell the whiskey dripping off of her,

"My brother is a lot of things, but he is no pack mule. He is not someone that you can use to your advantage. My brother cares for you and he seems to believe you care about him as well,"

"I do-"

"Do not interrupt me again!" I seethed at her as she went silent, pressing her back against the door as if she could go through it and disappear.

"You're a spoiled, stubborn, egotistical princess,"

"I am not a princess!"

I slammed my hand against the wall beside her head, she didn't even flinch.

Interesting.

"No, you're just a bitch!"

"Don't raise your fucking voice at me!"

"If you would stop acting so damn irresponsible I wouldn't have to raise my voice! Hell, I wouldn't even have to be here!"

If she had gotten her shit together I wouldn't be in Gabriel's home with her. I would be out doing whatever the hell I wanted instead of arguing with a drunk in the kitchen.

"Then go! There's the fucking door, just fucking leave!"

"So you can continue to treat Gabriel like a piece of shit? No, I'm not leaving!"

"No one wants you here anyway!" She shouted, that slight orange in her eyes slowly rising to the surface,

"And no one wants you!"

Catalina recoiled ever so slightly. Honestly, if I wasn't standing in front of her I probably wouldn't have even noticed.

"You know nothing about me, about what I've been through-"

"Enlighten me then princess on what happened in your life that was so bad you turned into this pathetic excuse for a human being."

She remained silent.

Exactly.

She had no excuse to be acting this way. There was no reason for this behavior and despite what Gabriel said I didn't think this girl had experienced a single struggle in her life. Up until now this girl's biggest "struggle" was probably deciding which boy she would sleep with or her image on social media. It was pathetic.

"If you're going to continue to act like this then do us all a favor and go dig your grave now and lay in it," I moved away from her and back towards the island,

"It would save us all time in the long run."

I expected her not to answer. I expected her to run away or lash out and throw a tantrum like the immature brat she was. Hell, I even expected her to throw something. What I didn't expect was the tiny tear that fell from her eye before she quickly wiped it away. For a moment I felt my chest tighten as Catalina stripped off her jacket, tossing it to the side pulled off her shirt, and began unbuckling her belt.

What the fuck?

Catalina placed the belt in my hands as she slowly turned her back to me. I expected pristine soft olive skin that would match her face. Instead, I was met with a pale shredded canvas torn apart with cuts. Some went from her shoulders, down her back, and to her waist. No two scars looked the same. I could tell some went deeper than others, Some were pink while some had turned white, healed but never fully disappearing. A permanent reminder on her skin. A chain that would forever tie her to the person that put them there. There wasn't a single inch of her back that wasn't scarred in some way.

"Hit me." Her voice was tight with restraint as she clenched her fists at her side.

I didn't move a single inch.

"You want to know what I've been through? Then take that belt and hit me as hard as you can."

"I'm not going to-"

"JUST DO IT!" She yelled as I gripped the belt she placed in my hands tighter. I raised the belt, slashing it across her skin as the deafening sound of cold leather hit her lower back.

Nothing.

No movement.

No sound.

Not even a flinch.

I reached over, my fingers barely grazing her back as she tensed and stiffened, turning back to face me and pointing a sharp dagger under my chin. The cold metal dug deeper into me as she spoke.

"I know this probably won't kill you but It'll feel damn good to slice your throat open."

Her rage-filled eyes held no tears any longer as she kept them locked on mine.

"Catalina I-"

Before I could even say another word, Catalina took off in the direction of her room. Slamming her door so hard I was pretty sure the door had fallen off its hinges.

Too far. I took it a little too far.

She needed to hear the truth. Yes, it was harsh but hearing the truth was always difficult and I wasn't like Gabriel. I wasn't going to sit and coddle her with sweet words and soft voices to coax her out of this. She needed a reality check and tonight was the first of many. Yet I couldn't help but think of the way she reacted when the belt hit her skin, or rather the absence of a reaction to it, the deep trails of scars that decorated her back, and the small pain that radiated in my chest when I saw it. I promised Gabriel that I would not harm her. She asked me to hit her, asked me to take that belt to her skin. As the belt graced her skin I thought I had broken my promise to Gabriel, that with that one motion, I had harmed her. Yet she did not move, no sound. Nothing as the belt clashed with her. She just stood there. As if nothing had touched her. As if she had taught herself to mask her pain and hide it. Hide it well. And for some reason that made me angry.

* * *

Catalina didn't leave her room the next day. Gabriel checked on her a few times but all he said was that she wasn't feeling well and that she wanted to be left alone.

Fine by me.

The less I saw of her the better. Especially after last night. Part of me was tempted to tell Gabriel that there was nothing I could do to help his friend, just so I would never have to see her again.

By noon she still hadn't emerged from her room and Gabriel had stepped out to get her some medicine that apparently would help whatever sickness she was feeling. Whatever she was feeling had Gabriel concerned.

She's fine. She's just hungover.

Her hangovers never lasted this long, and she never got sick to the point where Gabriel had to step out to get medicine for her.

Fucking Hell.

Before I could even comprehend what I was doing, I made my way to her room and knocked on her door.

Nothing but silence greeted me.

I knocked again.

Silence.

"Catalina, are you alright?"

Silence.

Fuck this shit.

I pushed open her door,

"Ignoring me isn't going to-"

Her bed was empty. Quickly I glanced around her room. There was nothing but darkness, except for a small freckle of light creeping out from underneath a door across the room. I made my way over, careful to not step on anything or disrupt her order of things, and gently pried the door open. I found Catalina hunched over, shivering, in the corner of what seemed to be her bathroom, her skin looked pale as if all the color had been drained out of her and her eyes were red and swollen as she looked at me.

"What the fuck happened?"

"Who are you?" She asked,

Who am I? Is she serious?

Slowly I approached her and knelt beside her. She tensed as I approached and pushed herself up against the wall,

"Get away from me." She whispered out

Slowly I reached out and grabbed her hand,

She's burning up.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"

She moved to take her hand out of mine but I gripped it tighter,

"Catalina relax, It's me, Lucifer remember?"

She calmed for a moment as she began to look around the room. She was lost in her head, thinking hard it seemed, as if she was trying to remember something important. I could feel her heart rate increasing second by second.

This isn't good. She has to find her calm.

Gently I released her hand and took her face in my hands, turning her to me,

"Catalina look at me, focus on me and breathe."

Her panic-filled eyes met mine and I saw nothing but fear in them. That tightness in my chest from last night returned,

"You're okay, you're home and you're safe," I whispered to her. Slowly her heart rate began to slow.

Good. That's good.

"There's no one here that can hurt you."

Her eyes closed briefly before she slumped forward against me. My arms instantly went around her waist as I pulled her in closer.

"You're okay, you're okay, you're okay" I whispered to her over and over again as her breathing evened out.

"You should um-you should probably let me go and get out." She said as she began to pull away.

"Why what's wrong?"

"I think I'm going to-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence before she scurried over and emptied her stomach into the toilet.

I grabbed the blue plastic cup that sat on the sink counter and made my way to the kitchen, filling her cup with ice and cool water.

Gabriel wasn't kidding when he said she was sick.

When I returned Catalina was still hunched over the toilet, gently I sat the cup down beside her as I gathered up her hair out of her face.

She emptied her stomach for another minute or so before she slumped back against the wall.

"Thank you." She whispered,

I grabbed the cup from the counter and handed it to her,

"Here, drink this." She took the cup and downed the ice-cold water within seconds.

"Are you alright?" I asked again.

She nodded back,

"I will be once Gabriel gets back."

"What happened?"

Catalina shook her head, burying her face in her hands as she spoke,

"I don't know, this morning I woke up and I was so dizzy. I couldn't remember anything and I felt so incredibly nauseous, I thought it was just a hangover but they are never this bad."

"You don't remember anything from last night?"

Catalina remained silent for a moment as she freed her face from her shaking hands, grasped a piece of hair in the front of her head, and began twirling it around her fingers.

"I remember our talk last night if that's what you're asking, but anything before then," She shook her head,

"It's all just a blank, I don't even know how I got home."

She had taken her car last night to wherever she went but her car wasn't here this morning. Gabriel left around seven to go pick it up and everything that was in there before remained. Nothing was taken.

"Maybe you called a ride or something?"

Perhaps she just doesn't remember.

"Maybe."

She twirled that piece of hair between her fingers a little faster as her eyes went back and forth. She was trying to remember. Trying to sort through the cloud of fog plaguing her mind.

"Worry about it later, right now you need to rest."

As soon as Gabriel returned with her medicine and she was able to rest and eat, the memories would come back. She just had to be patient.

"I'll grab you some more water." I took the cup from her hand and made my way back to the kitchen, this time just filling the cup with water, not bothering with ice considering how fast she drank her last cup, I didn't have to worry about her water getting warm. She was still pressed up against the wall when I returned. I handed her the cup as I sat back down beside her. Just like before she easily downed the second cup of water.

"You need to rest, can you stand?"

Catalina nodded her head as she slowly began to stand. Or at least she tried to. Her legs shook as she tried to stand, trembling like a baby fawn but her legs gave out and I caught her before she could hit the cold hard floor.

"I've got ya," I said as she struggled to stand up on her own.

She can't stand on her own.

"Wrap your arms around my neck."

She hesitated.

"I can walk to my damn bed."

"Catalina you can barely stand let alone walk."

She peered her green eyes up at me,

"Just do it, the sooner you get to bed the sooner you can rest and recover."

Slowly she slid her arms around my neck as I bent down, gathered her in my arms, and picked her up. Her head rested on my chest as I carried her to her bed and gently sat her down. She began to push herself up against the headboard,

"Lay down."

"I don't need-"

"You need to rest until Gabriel gets back so again, lay down."

Slowly she lowered herself down, pulling the large and heavy blanket over her.

"Good, now rest," I said as I began to turn and leave her room, I had just made it to the door when her voice stopped me,

"Lucifer?" Her voice was hesitant as if she was debating whether to say something to me or not,

"Yes?" I turned my head slightly to face her,

"Thank you."

Well, that was unexpected.

"Get some rest, Catalina, Gabriel will be back soon."

I didn't wait for her to reply as I turned back and gently closed her door.

She would be fine. Gabriel would return soon and she would be okay. Yet I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck happened. She didn't remember who I was for a few moments, she could barely breathe. The dizziness and nausea were normal for a hangover but something didn't sit right with me. Once Gabriel was back I'd talk to him about it. To see if this happened before. All I could do now was wait.