Chapter 17

Despite the fact that Lincoln comes to the bakery truck almost right at opening on Monday morning, we're still so busy that I barely get to talk to him. Astrid and I have fallen into a system. Whoever's up grabs two orders while the other one moves on. So all I get to do is say, "Great game!" right before I take his order, and he thanks me and then has to move to the side while the guy behind him slowly orders six different things.

"Dairy delivery!" a voice calls cheerfully. I turn to glance over my shoulder to see a young man entering the back of the truck. His parents own a tiny farm outside of the city in Acton. Landon had him as a student last year in one of the business classes he taught, and Mila loves getting farm fresh ingredients from them. She sets Lincoln's box of chocolate chip cookies down and moves to accept the delivery.

"Hey, Brock!" I greet him before turning back to my customer.

A few minutes later, Brock leaves since things are too busy for a chat, and Mila hands out Lincoln's cookies. "Movie and game night at Eli's tonight," she says. "Did he tell you?"

Lincoln darts a gaze at me and nods. "He mentioned something, but he didn't give me details."

"Come over after practice," Mila says. "I'm bringing all the day-old stuff for snacks."

"I'll be there for sure, then." Lincoln beams at her and then waves at me before jogging off down the street.

"You guys are invited too," Mila says, returning to the back of the truck. "Of course."

"I'll be there," I say and then lean over to sneak a kiss from Margot. She squeals and opens her mouth wide, so I risk another second of delay and press my cheek against it for a slobbery kiss from her.

"I don't know," Astrid says the next time she gets up to grab an order. "I think it would be weird."

I shake my head while I run a credit card. "Zane doesn't usually hang out with us." I look back at Mila for confirmation that Eli wouldn't have included him.

She nods. "He comes over for barbecues sometimes, but that's just when Eli invites everyone. Tonight it will be closer friends," she says.

Astrid presses her lips together as she sits back down and hands out her order, and then she shrugs. "Okay. I'll come. That does sound fun."

I reach over and pat her shoulder. "Of course it will be." I pull my phone out while I listen to my next order, and then I tap out a text when I get up to grab it.

Layla:Astrid is coming over tonight for movie and game night. Got another teammate to set her up with?

I don't know the specifics of the guys' schedules while they're at the facility, so I have no idea how long it will be before Lincoln answers. I also have to chide myself on how much I'm anticipating a text from him. He texted me from the plane on his way home, telling me about his dinner with his parents, and then we just slipped into easy conversation about life. Lincoln has heard about the new LA Lights spinoff too, and he's hoping my character gets a spot. Would you do it if they asked? he texted at one point. My heart had pounded, and I'd said maybe without even thinking about it. It's so easy to be honest with him. I know he'll understand that I can say maybe and still not be able to do it. He'll get that I want to but it might not be the right time.

Landon comes and picks up Margot just before lunch. He's done that a lot since we reopened, and he knows how busy it is. If he doesn't have class or doesn't need to be in his office, he'll come down and hold her while he runs orders, or just take her back to the college and teach with her. His students are just as in love with Margot as the rest of us are. Sometimes I can't help giggling as I think of her as a spoiled toddler with all these adults doting on her. She's so lucky.

We both are.

Lincoln's response comes at lunchtime, but it's several minutes before I can look at it. Astrid and I stagger our lunches before and after the rush, and mine isn't until after.

Lincoln:Is she dating someone else? Zane got the feeling she was.

Layla:There's an actor who likes her, but she deserves better.

Lincoln:I'll think of someone.

Layla:You're the best.

We end up closing down the food truck at around five because Mila has sold out of everything, except for the day-old stuff she'd already stashed for the party. We parked close enough to our apartments that Margot and I enjoy a leisurely walk home. Just as I shut the door behind us, my phone rings, and Zora's picture grins up at me as I pull my phone out.

"Hey, Zora," I answer as I unbuckle Margot.

"I just got off the phone with Bruno Rattan. They want Sloane Campbell, RN in the new LA Lights spinoff. They're sending over the pilot script to you tonight."

I blink, freezing in place until Margot squawks, rocking in her stroller and calling, "Uh, uh," her baby way of getting me to pick her up. I swing her up onto my hip. "What?"

"Girl. Everyone loved the Sloane-Leclair Ship! Of course they want you in the pilot." Zora's voice is excited, one of the things I always loved about her. She's not jaded in this business, and before, when I was actively looking for parts, she always seemed as excited as me when I'd get parts, and not just because it meant money in her pocket.

"Zora. I don't know if I can do that right now." I set Margot on the rug and plop down next to her. She's already scooching herself toward the basket of toys that's scattered around the edge of the rug.

"Please just promise me you'll read the script before you decide. And it's a large ensemble cast, like Lights is. Your days won't be crazy, probably closer to six or eight hours."

I chew on my lip. That's like having a normal job, and it's not like I had to go to a million auditions for this part. Being away from Margot for the long hours it took to hustle after acting jobs was the biggest reason I told myself I couldn't act anymore. All the justifications I've been thinking of since hearing about this spinoff come back to my mind.

"I'll read the pilot," I say. But my brain is already saying, I want it! I want it!

I need to manage my expectations on this. Being in the pilot means nothing. Everyone was obsessed with Sloane and Detective Leclair last year, and they didn't bring me back. Sloane's part might be small. Which is fine. A small part would be good. Perfect, even. I could still act, something I still crave doing, but I won't have to compromise my promises to myself about how I want to raise my daughter.

By the time I hang up with Zora, I have an email from the director's assistant with the script as an attachment. I alternately read it and have my phone read it to me while I play with Margot and then get our things together to go over to Eli's.

They've built out Sloane's character as a nurse at the fictional LA Grace Hope General Hospital. She's the same smart, sassy woman who Detective Leclair had to coax into testifying against a neighbor who was dealing drugs out of his home and then murdered his partner, and she's part of the fun dialogue in the OB clinic at the hospital. Their relationship is still early in the pilot, only one scene with her and Detective Leclair, but I know that's because they'll want to drag this out for the fans who will be tuning in each week to see it progress.

Zora knew what she was doing having me read the script. I'm in love. How can I say no? I look over at Margot, happily rolling around again on the rug while we wait for Landon and Mila. I could say no if it's not good for her. Not good for us as a family. But is it? Or am I just scared?

It's still twenty minutes before Landon and Mila are supposed to be here, so I call my mom.

"Layla! That's so exciting," Mom says when I tell her about the script. "Of course you're going to say yes, right?"

"I … I don't know," I answer honestly. The last couple hours I've gone back and forth. Of course I want to say yes. But part of my brain keeps arguing that I can't say yes.

Mom sighs. "If Margot wasn't part of the equation, what would your answer be?"

"Margot's never not going to be part of my equation," I say. "She's my daughter."

"Layla, you're a single mom. You are going to have to support your daughter and have a job, and why shouldn't it be doing something you love?" Mom's voice might be just as exasperated as mine. How will I feel, someday in the future, when I see Margot shuffling aside dreams for some practical reason? Will I make her fight for them? Of course I will.

"I know. But I don't want acting to swallow up my life, and that's what it felt like I had to do before I had her."

"I understand your hesitance, sweetie. I do. But the hours sound good, and if every once in a while you might be working longer than normal, that sounds fine too. That's how everyone's job is from time to time." Her voice is soothing, almost coaxing.

"Yeah …" I don't need a lot of convincing. I already knew how much I wanted this, and Mom's justifications are sound. She's saying out loud all the thoughts that have been running through my head. All the thoughts I keep dismissing as selfish.

"You'll just be very careful with the contract," she goes on. "Send it over to have Grandpa look at it too." When I went into acting, that was one of the bonuses of having a retired contract lawyer in the family. His mind is as sharp as ever, and thankfully, for me his services are free.

"Yeah," I say again, but this time my voice is firmer, more confident in the choice I wanted to be told it was okay to make.

Once we've discussed that, Mom asks me about the bakery truck, and when I tell her how busy it is, she insists on taking Margot for the next few days to give Margot a break from the confined space of the truck. When things are normal, and there are slow hours, I can take Margot for walks or take her outside to play on a mat I keep in the truck if the weather is nice. But if the truck continues to pick up business like it has the last few days, I need to start looking into daycare for her.

I think I need to anyway. I think I'm going to start being Actress Layla Delaford again.