18. Lawson

CHAPTER 18

LAWSON

The owner of the Seattle Sharks is having dinner and drinks with me at one of the local restaurants, and has spent the last twenty minutes doing nothing but complimenting my skills and painting me a picture of how amazing I would look with the Seattle Sharks logo on my back.

It’s a dream come true, for sure. Something I’d visualized over and over in my teenage years when I dreamed of being drafted into the NHL. Hell, not seven months ago when the draft happened, I'd been picturing the Seattle call. I’d always seen myself in their colors, until I hadn't.

I love you.

Blakely's words, her reasoning, and her throwing her whole heart on the line keep replaying through my head. If she’d let me speak, I would’ve told her I felt the same way. I would’ve told her that all she had to do was ask and I would blow off this meeting.

But she didn’t ask me to blow off this meeting. She told me she would come with me, which meant more to me than she probably even realized.

All of my relationships, if you can call them that, in the past had been purely a means to an end, because my first love had always been the NHL.

But not Blakely.

She showed me a love that was greater than the love I had for myself and for my career and for my dreams. She did nothing to hinder them but did everything to expand them. I would be a fool if I didn't know that being with her leveled me up in a way that never would’ve happened before, and from the way she told it, I offered her the same thing.

After we finish our steaks, him sipping on his red wine and me sipping on my soda water, he finally asks me the ten-million-dollar question.

“What do you think? Can you see yourself in Seattle?”

“I can see myself in Seattle,” I answer. The picture had already played out in my mind. Blakely and I would be able to start fresh in a new city, with a new team. She’d have an adjustment, earning the respect of the Sharks, but we’d be there as a unit. I’d be playing for my favorite team, and we’d both be making a wonderful living to put toward the future together.

Something sinks in my chest, an almost nostalgic sort of weight that has me shaking my head.

“Oh no,” he says. “I've seen that face before. You're about to say but aren't you?”

“ But ,” I say almost laughing at myself at what’s about to come out of my mouth. “Bangor is my new home. The Badgers are my new family. And as of right now, I'm just not ready to leave them.”

“You’re starting to look like a winning team,” he says. “But winning a few games doesn't mean you'll make it to the Cup.”

“I’m humbly aware of that,” I say, thinking about my team. “But we've just found a groove together, and I'm not naive enough to think that trades aren't going to happen, but for now, this is where I belong.”

I belonged with my team, belonged with Blakely, and I never thought I would say that.

“I respect that,” he says. “If you ever start to think differently, don't hesitate to reach out.”

We spend the rest of dinner talking about how much I love the Sharks and how I'm really going to hate beating them when we face off against them in a month. He's a good sport about it, laughing and covering the check before we part ways.

And instead of taking the road that will take me home, I head straight to Blakely’s place even though it's past ten and she's probably already curled up in bed.

She answers my text within seconds, opening her door with a hopeful look on her face as she stares up at me.

Her long blonde hair is a little bit messy, her PJ’s clinging to her supple body in a way that has my blood heating. This feels a lot like deja vu, from the last time I was here, but now I know everything.

“How did your meeting go?” she asks as she lets me into her apartment, and closes the door behind me

“It was everything I've ever wanted to hear,” I admit.

Her shoulders drop, but she forces a strong smile on her face. “So you'll become a Shark now,” she says. “That's great. That's been your dream since you were a kid.”

I take a few steps toward her, tipping her chin up from where she’s dropped her eyes to the floor. She looks up at me, and everything feels aligned in my world in a way it never has before.

“I'm a Badger, damsel,” I say, inching my lips toward hers. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“But you love the Sharks,” she says.

“I also love you,” I say, and the act of saying it is somewhat freeing.

“Lawson, I love you too. So much. I don't want to be the reason you're staying?—”

“You are a reason, you are not the reason,” I explain. “The fact that you’re willing to pack your bags and go to Seattle with me means more to me than you'll ever know, but you have family here, you have a life here. Not only with your father but with your friends, and my friends. And I’ve found a family here too in this team. I know trades are inevitable, but if I have the option to stay here, I'm staying.”

Her eyes water, but her smile is bright as she throws her arms around me.

I catch her easily, hauling her up to my level, her ankles locking behind my back. Our mouths meet in a passionate kiss that shakes loose any darkness clinging to my heart from our fight before.

“No more secrets,” I say against her mouth.

“Never again,” she says.