3. Jules

THREE

JULES

Late October

I get out of my SUV before the garage door is even closed, open the back door to get my duffel and suitcase, then walk to the door to the laundry room. I can't open that one until all the noise from the garage door ceases since it's three fucking a.m.

There's no way in hell I'm waking up Ava or Jamie. Ava for obvious reasons, but poor Jamie has been having a shit time sleeping. The doctors tell us this is probably a good sign. That she's indeed pregnant, but in reality, Jamie's just cranky as hell.

There hasn't been much we can do except leave her alone to brood in the mornings, and take care of Ava as much as we can until she's a nice human again.

Ava's words.

She's awesome, our girl, and she loves her "Mom cuddles" in the morning, but we've done our best to explain that Jamie's just not feeling great without really telling her why.

Ava's not dumb, she knows that something different is going on, but we don't want to tell her she's going to be a big sister until after the three-month mark.

It's going to be a challenge, we all know it, but we want to be on the safe side of this.

I dump all my dirty clothes in the laundry and put all the suits in a bag to take to the dry cleaners tomorrow, then silently walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Roadies are more brutal than they used to be now that I've got a family waiting at home for me. Mater's been great about hearing me whine all day and night, and now I understand why he always shows me pictures of his kids while we're on the road. I've been doing the same with everything Ster and Jamie send me.

It's only going to get worse because we're almost positive Ava will start going to nursery school soon. We've been searching for reputable ones that won't make a huge fuss about, one, the fact that she has two dads and one mom and that we're not a throuple, and two, that she's Sterling's daughter. The security also has to be great and the fucking secrecy... Well, there's no chance of hiding from other parents, that's for sure.

But we found one that's willing to send out an email to all of them, telling them pictures of Ava aren't allowed to be posted online unless her name is nowhere to be found or Sterling and I aren't in the pictures either.

So if Ava gets invited to a birthday party or there's an event, they can take and post all the pictures they want. We just don't want the world to know what our angel looks like.

The one nursery school that's on board with all of this will get back to us this week, and we're all extra tense waiting for the verdict.

We want Ava to make friends, we want her to have a normal childhood—as normal as possible at least. Giving her this chance, to meet kids beyond just other players' sons and daughters, is important. For her and for us.

We have to figure out how to live without her at home all day, start that natural separation that hasn't happened because of Sterling's fame and the public's interest in our relationship.

It fucking sucks, not gonna lie.

The thought of coming home from morning practice and not having her there at breakfast gives me the heebie-jeebies. But I have to move past that. I have to be okay with her growing up.

Somehow.

Ster finds me in the kitchen, staring blankly at the wall of windows with a full glass in my hand. I smile and take a sip as he walks up to me. He hugs me tight, tucking his face in the crook of my neck and breathing deeply. My guess is he's been thinking about everything I have on top of missing me, but I have to ask.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not now that you're home, baby."

I let out a long breath, put the glass down, and hug him back.

"You'll never guess what happened in New York," I say, to try and get his mind off of what troubles him.

"I saw how Bear destroyed that guy."

"Yeah, that's not even the most interesting part." I lean back, give him a quick, hard kiss, then smile. "How about we get into the tub and I tell you all about it?"

"Hot tub, outside?" I nod. "Yes, I want you in my arms and to watch the stars."

"Perfect." I don't resist kissing him again, slower, deeper, but he stops me before either one of us can get too worked up.

We get changed into our bathing suits pretty easily, and go out onto the patio we built just outside our bedroom in the renovation we did.

Ster puts some relaxing instrumental music on his phone and connects it to the outside speakers as we get in. I settle with my back to his chest and let my body float lazily as I tell him the story. "When the game was done, we stepped into the locker room only to find Bear making out with Drew."

"What?" Ster demands. "Drew, our wedding planner, Drew?"

"Yes," I say with a laugh.

"Drew, who also planned Bear's wedding?" he asks again just to make sure, and I can't contain my laugh anymore.

"Yes. We knew they'd become good friends, but not to this extent. It was honestly very sweet. Then we went out to dinner, and we all got expensive-as-hell drinks we didn't even drink because Bear was paying."

"You guys got him back for leaving you in the lurch."

"He didn't, though. Not really. Baby Bear's game was flawless. He was nervous, I could tell. Hell, everyone could tell, but the kid pulled through. He's gonna be drowning in offers. Well, Gab will be drowning in offers for him before the season is even over."

"Good for him," Sterling murmurs next to my ear, and his hands softly trace my ribs. I get goosebumps even though we're in warm water. The way his touch always lights my body up is addictive.

"Yeah, it was nice seeing them together. I think they're good, and I like Drew."

"He's pretty awesome, at least he was with our wedding."

"Yeah." I sigh out the word. Then I close my eyes and just let myself feel for a while. Sterling's hands keep roaming over my torso, brushing too lightly over my nipples, my abs, the sensitive skin under my belly button.

I know what he's doing. He's getting me worked up so I'm desperate by the time we get inside. I don't mind, I know he'll deliver. Like he always does whenever I come back from a roadie.

There's just one more thing I want to talk to him about before we go back inside and he makes me forget even my name in bed.

"Ster?" I ask, already hesitating.

It's so soon. Maybe I should wait. Maybe this is too selfish. But if I can't talk about it with my husband, there's no way I'll ever get the courage to talk about it with Jamie.

"Hmm?" He nuzzles my neck and for some strange reason that gives me the courage to take a deep breath and ask.

"I know it's still a long way out, and I know we'll have to talk to Jamie about it as well, but what do you think... that if our baby is a boy... what do you think about naming him Adam Michel?"

I hold my breath as I feel Ster go rigid under me. I wish I had the bravery to turn around and see his expression, but I don't.

"For your brother," he concludes.

"Yes." I nod. "And for Adam Darnell. He was... well, when he came out, I know he doesn't even know, and might never know me, but what he did changed my life. Not instantly, and of course not literally, but what he did eventually gave me the courage to change it myself. Does that make sense?"

"It does, baby." He takes a good grip of my hips and turns me himself. I close my eyes. I can't face this. I have to get the whole reasoning out before I risk looking at him while he tells me it's stupid.

"There's also the initials thing," I say, starting to ramble now. "Jamie, you, and I, we all have the same initials. And even though, technically, Ava and our baby will be cousins by blood, they'll be raised like siblings, you know? I want them to feel like they're siblings. So, I thought, if they also share the same first initial, that'd be cool, right?"

There's a beat of silence, and then Sterling snorts. Instantly defensive, I open my eyes to give him hell, but he speaks before I can.

"What would suck is if Jamie falls in love with a guy whose name doesn't start with J, but I like that idea baby."

He cuts off any possible response with a kiss, and then just never stops.

Fuck, he's so freaking perfect. I still can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year. How much more I have. How Ava wasn't even a part of my life back then. I didn't even know she existed.

The thought hurts. There's no way to encompass the love I feel for her. The way she makes me feel, for the first time, that my life and what I do will have a positive impact on the world.

The thought of all of that doubling when we have another child is daunting, but the yearning is stronger than the fear.

As long as I have Sterling and Jamie next to me, it always will be.

"C'mon baby boy, let's go inside." I follow Sterling to the bed, we don't even towel off, we just topple over and keep kissing. His hands roam my arms, torso, sides, until finally, they reach my ass.

I don't know where he got them, but clearly he was prepared because next thing I know, he's gently thrusting a fat plug inside me. It takes a few minutes since I'm not stretched at all, but when the base is finally flush against my cheeks, I moan in relief.

The fullness is almost as perfect as if it was Sterling inside me. I always feel complete when we're one.

"I have a surprise for you, boy," he growls against my ear as he kisses a path from my jaw to my shoulder.

"Daddy," I moan out the best word in the world. I can't say anything else right now, especially when he pushes the plug in deeper and the next second it starts vibrating softly but insistently against my prostate. "Oh, fuck!" That's the last coherent thing I say.

Sterling continues his kissing path down my body, biting and licking my nipples, and tracing a path through the valleys of my abs.

When he gets to my desperate dick, he keeps teasing me with barely there licks and kisses until he arrives at my tip.

"You want to come for Daddy, baby?"

I try to say yes, to nod, to do anything but whine and moan at the constant torturous pleasure the plug and my Daddy are giving me, but again, I can't.

"Fuck, I love you like this, boy. Desperate for me. Unable to do anything but lie there and let me take you however I want." He takes a strong hold of my cock and starts pumping furiously slow. This is the best and worst thing. I need to come. Now. But I know my Daddy will make me feel a million times better if I wait until he's good and ready for me to explode. "It's because you're mine, aren't you boy? You're all mine and I get to do whatever I want with this perfect body. Forever." He says the last word reverently as he lowers his mouth to where I want it, where I need it.

Then his eyes connect with mine, and I see the satisfaction of having me at his will in them. "You can't come yet, okay baby?" Again, I can't speak because trying to hold my orgasm at bay is taking all of my focus, but I do manage a nod. That's all he need apparently because he takes my cock to the back of his throat and sucks hard as he bobs up and down quickly.

I cry out, in pain, in pleasure, in desperation. "Please, Daddy," I manage to say in a cry.

He doesn't seem to hear me, he has his eyes closed and looks blissed out as my cock disappears between his lips. My fingers are starting to hurt with how hard I'm fisting the sheets, but still I try to do what my Daddy asked of me. I need to be good for him. I can hold off until he allows me to come. I can.

I repeat the mantra over and over but it gets harder and harder as the seconds go by because I can't look away. Seeing Ster sucking me off is hypnotizing, it's enthralling, and honestly, even if I do lose control because of the picture alone, I don't think I'll ever regret it.

Finally he opens his eyes, and I try to convey my desperation with my eyes. He smirks only with his eyes somehow as he slowly leat's my dick drop from his lips. Then the smirk appears on his lips as well.

My husband is the hottest man on earth on any giving day—most people would actually agree with me, so it's not only my love for him talking—but when he stares me down like this, I'm pretty sure I could come only from that look if he caught me off guard.

"On your knees, baby boy."

I scramble to follow the command and thankfully he doesn't make me wait too much longer. He doesn't yank the plug away, that wouldn't be pleasurable, but he doesn't stall either, and once I'm empty again, it's not for long.

The feeling of being suddenly empty, so much so that I feel my hole gaping, desperate for something to fill it again, is both heaven and hell. Mostly because I know what's coming next.

Daddy thrusts inside me in one not-too-slow movement, and then everything is fast. He grabs my hips with his thumbs digging into my cheeks hard and moves me close and away from him like a ragdoll. I fall on the mattress from the force, unable to hold myself up anymore, and let him take whatever he wants.

"I'm close, baby," he says in a growl. "Are you gonna come without touching your pretty dick?"

My only response is to reach down and stroke myself two times. That's all it takes for me to explode.

" Fuck ," Daddy groans as my ass clamps down hard on his fat cock and I feel the rush of warmth from his come flood me.

My legs give out then, but thankfully Daddy follows me down so he's lying on top of me as he keeps coming.

I can feel the cooling pull of come under me, but I don't care. I know my Daddy will take care of me. He always does.