Reed

The first thing I became aware of was the sudden presence of a hard object driving into my gut. Air whoofed out of my lips with a protesting grunt, and I rolled over, slapping the source of the problem. My hand found something solid, and I heard a grunt beside me, followed by a muttered, "Ow."

"That's what you get," I huffed, opening my eyes to glare at Leon lying next to me on his back, eyes still closed. "Elbowed me right in the gut, you dick."

"'M just layin' here," he muttered, completely ruining his point by flopping around to find a better spot. He had always been a restless sleeper and one of the groggiest people I'd ever met when he woke up, no matter how much sleep he got. "Rude ass."

I chuckled, rolling over to wrap my arm around his stomach under the blanket and cleave myself to his side. He stirred at the touch, wrapping his arm around my neck to let his hand dangle near my face. Groggy and confused or not, there was no mistaking how cuddly he was when he was still trying to figure out his name, let alone how the universe functioned.

"You know what always amazed me?" I asked quietly, knowing we had to prepare for the day in a bit but wanting to savor the moment while it was fresh. At this point, we didn't need to leave his or my cabin separately. Everyone was aware of what was going on between us, and that knowledge had the unexpected effect of keeping everyone quiet. All the jokes and comments on the sly had stopped, which was more to Leon's benefit than mine.

"I'm amazed you're even talking right now," he muttered, turning his face to crack his eyes open and stare at me. "You're so handsome, you know that?"

I chuckled softly, kissing him because I knew there was at least a decent chance that would wake him up. "It always amazed me that you could have the life you had with the parents you did, and yet you were never one to shy away from physical touch. Surprised the hell out of me the first time we were physically close after we started dating because you'd always avoided touching me before."

He snorted, closing his eyes again. "Are you kidding? I'd spent two years fawning over you in my head. Do you know what it's like to be a touch-starved, horny teenager with a massive crush on his hot best friend?"

"No, Leon. I have no idea what that must have been like for you," I said, letting the sarcasm run thick in my voice. "How will I ever manage to walk a mile in those shoes?"

He cracked one eye open, narrowing it. "It's too early to be sarcastic."

"Not for me."

"Well, it's too early for me to be dealing with it."

I snorted. "Well, it sucks to be you right now because I'm more than capable of dishing out plenty of sarcasm when the situation calls for it."

He sighed heavily, managing an impressive amount of self-pity in that one sound. "I couldn't touch you back then because it would have just been weird. A hug here and there would have been fine, but anything more? Or lingering on it? That would have driven me crazy. The less I touched you, the less likely I was to start entertaining a fantasy in my head, and I'd already had those."

I raised a brow. "We'll circle back to those fantasies in a moment, but do continue."

He snorted. "And then we got together. I never saw it coming, and afterward, even taking things slow like we did, I didn't know what to do. That first time we laid in your bed together was like heaven. It wasn't the first time I messed around with someone else?—"

"Mmm, who was it again? Brett?"

"Brent Donnelly. Lived in the same apartment complex as me. Always liked to act like he wasn't hanging around me for a bit of fun, yet that's pretty much all we did after that first time when I stole a bottle of my parents" cheap as shit vodka. He wasn't fooling me. Yours was…Ben wasn't it?"

"Your memory needs work," I said with a small laugh. "It was Bennett. From that summer I spent with my parents in Colorado, in some sleepy little town in the mountains."

"Okay, South Park."

"Har har. It was just a summer fling, one of those things that happens only when the stars decide to align and give you something you weren't even looking for. He was sweet, reminded me a bit of Riley and Elliot, actually. Just a sweet guy, but he was always getting up to some shit. We bonded over having a best friend that we had the hots for."

"I remember you telling me that," he said with a laugh. "Now you say his name, I remember thinking it was another rich kid who happened to be vacationing there. It just sounded like a rich kid name."

"Not him," I said with a light shrug. "Pretty down to earth when you got down to it. Pretty much all the guys I had a relationship with or something that wasn't quite that but more than a fling were down to earth. I seem to have a type."

"Not physical, though. I remember that one guy you were dating. As blond as they came."

"Yeah, Bennett was too. I tend to like them blond. Except for the first guy I ever loved."

"Sappy," he said, even as he smiled gently. "I'll be honest with you. Being affectionate or intimate with you was never difficult. I never got anything like that from Brent. And even before we started dating, I always felt like you would be different. You wouldn't be the type to pump and go."

"You know, I regretted you weren't my first."

"You weren't mine either."

"I know, but that never bothered me."

"Huh, and here I never thought about either of them. Honestly, I was happy we figured things out when we were a little older. Taking on more responsibility for Ian and Ray, juggling jobs and school, made me a little calmer and more responsible. I wasn't there yet when I was fourteen."

"Who the hell is at fourteen?"

"I needed to be."

To that, I could do nothing but sigh sadly as I gave his side a light squeeze, trying to say with the gesture what my mouth couldn't. I didn't want to run into the ground that he should have never had to do that in the first place because he already knew. We both knew he should have been able to have a childhood, a real one, and it had been wrongfully stolen from him by his piece-of-shit parents, who couldn't be bothered to take care of the life they had so carelessly created.

Yet that past created the man lying beside me, his body warming mine and his presence warming something deeper inside me. The things that had happened to him that never should have in a decent world were the things that made him the person I loved so dearly. Even when we were younger, the responsibility shoved upon him had honed him into a man I had respected but someone I had envied in my own way.

It had always been my belief that he had been a special person from the start. He could have easily ignored the help his brothers had needed not to go through the things Leon had gone through, and who would have blamed him? He had been a kid the first time he'd stepped up to take care of Ian, and he wasn't that much older when he'd done the same with Ray, doubling his workload.

His life could have been his own, with responsibility only for himself, and that would have been his right. Yet, as far as I knew, he never hesitated when he realized what needed to be done. Those boys needed someone to take care of them, and he had sacrificed what little care he could have provided himself to do right by them when no one had ever done the same for him.

"You've gotten real quiet," he said, opening his eyes again, his gaze far less groggy than before as he focused on my face. "And you've got that sappy look on your face."

"Don't mind me," I said with a small smile. "It's just me admiring the kind of person you are, who you've grown up to be. It's no surprise you never really needed me. You're great at standing on your own two feet, even when the world pulls at you from every angle imaginable."

His wary expression hardened into a scowl as he gave me a light push. "Stop. I've always needed you. I was the idiot who decided to take everything on their shoulders, and I paid dearly for it, alright? All that stuff is just…it feels like window dressing, I guess, things to throw in front of the world and pretend like I've got a handle on things."

"I'd say it's more than an act. You managed a lot for someone supposedly covered in just window dressing and playing pretend."

"I mean, fake it till you make it, right?"

"I think it was a little more than that."

"You love to give me more credit than I deserve."

"Or just the right amount."

"Oh God," he groaned, pulling his arm free as he tried to roll off the bed. "That's enough compliments for one day, thanks!"

"Oh, no you don't!" I barked, rolling with him to wrap my arms around his middle and fight against him, pulling him back toward the bed.

"I'm over it!"

"Are you though?"

"Yes!"

"And what if I started complimenting how good your body looks, splayed out next to me in the morning?" I asked as I stroked his stomach. "Or how amazing it feels to grope you freely?"

"It's certainly an improvement," he said wryly, but I could hear the note of tension in his voice that told me I had his complete attention. "But it's not enough to spare you, now let me go."

"But I love holding you," I said, reaching down to find his dick and grabbing it. "Every part of you, especially the big, thick parts."

"You are just," he began but stopped because we both knew I could feel him starting to grow in my hand rapidly, "a horndog."

"Says the man two seconds away from being completely…ah, there we go, hard."

"The worst."

"Mmm, but you're still going to fuck me."

"Damn right I am."

Leon was many things, but he was not a liar and quickly proved to be a man of his word. The time of day made things a little tricky. Even with his cabin being more secluded than mine, it was still later in the morning, so more people were up and around than last night.

That didn't dampen our enjoyment of the moment. I might have had to suppress the groan when he bottomed out inside me, but I still savored the satisfying sense of fullness and the growing electric pleasure. A pleasure that mounted as he held me down against the bed, pumping into me with long, steady strokes that threatened to drive me to the brink of insanity as I craved more.

It seemed that more was not something he was willing to give, and he took his time. I knew it wasn't just to drive me crazy with pleasure and anticipation, but that was part of his motivation for sure. No, he was enjoying himself, pushing us toward the edge slowly rather than hurtling toward it as we did so often. I didn't know what made him want to take his time when we had to get moving soon, but I wasn't going to complain.

When it was done, he had planted more come inside me as I lay on my back, feeling my own covering my chest and stomach and the hand he'd used to stroke me to orgasm. Our chests heaved, and I was left to stare up at him as he hovered over me, trying to catch his breath. From there, I could gaze up at him and admire his body, a faint sheen of sweat from his exertion accentuating all the good parts.

"I don't say it enough," he said, kissing me. "But I do love you. I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

I had been momentarily distracted by the feel of him still inside me, shifting around, but my attention immediately snapped to him. The pressure in my chest grew into a tight squeeze, and I reached up to pull him down to cover him in kisses. It was the first time either of us had gone anywhere near those words since reuniting, and there weren't enough words in any language to cover how I felt at that moment.

"It feels stupid and lame to say, but I feel the same way," I said, stroking his hair.

"I kind of figured," he chuckled, kissing the tip of my nose. "But you're still a horny bastard who likes to manipulate me into being horny."

"Oh yeah," I said, laughing, ignoring my familiar disappointment when he finally slipped from me. "Blame me. It's not like you're naturally a horndog. You just need an excuse. No, no, not that."

"Of course not," he said, helping me get to my feet. "I was well-behaved, practically chaste before I met you. Then you had to go and corrupt me, and now I'm just a mindless beast who can't keep their dick out of you."

"That was a lot of words when you could have just said you were going to lie about being horny."

"I would never lie!"

"Uh-huh," I said, pulling him close and kissing him. "Now, let's get washed and ready for the day. Everyone might leave us alone now they know we're together, but we aren't going to know peace if they have to come knocking on our doors to find us."

"True, breakfast time for us," he said, wagging his brow. "Stuffed French Toast, from what I've been told."

"First, you get laid, and then you start talking about food," I said with a roll of my eyes as I walked toward the bathroom. "Could you be any more of a man?"

"I could."

"Ow! Hey!"

"Good game."

"That was sex, not a fucking football game. Damn it, that's going to leave a mark!"

"My cum up your ass, and my handprint on your ass cheek. I'd say I staked my claim good enough."

"Claim?" I asked in indignation. "What the hell? Okay, I guess you could be more of a man. Since when do you need to ‘claim' me?"

"Eh, when the mood strikes me," he said as he disappeared into the shower. "Now, are you going to join me or stand there and let me get all wet while naked by myself?"

He and I both knew there was no way in hell I would pass up a chance for that, and I quickly followed him. There wasn't a lot of space in the booths, but that worked just fine. Our sexual energy had been burned off, but that didn't mean we couldn't enjoy the feeling of each other's bodies pressed together as we soaked in the warm, clean heat of the shower.

I felt like a teenager again by the time we got out. Not just because I was feeling frisky again but because of the pure and simple joy of just being around someone I was with. There were none of the hang-ups about what Mona was up to, worrying about the constant inventory problems at the clinic, or what I was going to do with my future. There was only the laughter we shared as we dressed, reminiscing about the time his parents almost caught him naked in bed with me.

"I still can't believe your mom fell for the story," Leon chuckled as we walked toward the Big House for breakfast. "I mean, c'mon? You were letting me rest because of a fever?"

"It explained why you were shirtless and covered by my blankets," I said with a laugh as we walked around the back. "And it wasn't like I'd never been in a shirt and sweatpants while you were around."

"We were lucky she wasn't ten minutes later," he chuckled, opening the door. "Otherwise, we would have been a lot more obvious."

"My mother was not exactly well known for being the most observant of people," I told him as we approached the food tables. "That particular award went to my father. He would have done the math in seconds, and we wouldn't have gotten away with it."

"What? She didn't tell him about it for him to figure out?"

"I doubt it. For her, it was just a little odd but not worth mentioning to my father. Those two weren't exactly what you'd call close. Sure, they were husband and wife, and they went to church and did everything together, but?—"

"But there was always this big gap between them," Leon finished as he spied the stuffed French toast he'd been talking about earlier and made his way toward it. "Like this void full of chilly air."

"I don't think either of them knew what love was," I said with a shrug. "Not for each other, not for me. They just went through the motions."

"I guess it's shocking either of us managed to get out of our childhoods with some basic understanding of love."

"Well, I have you to thank. It's hard not to get the concept when you watch your best friend live his life as best he can and try to give his brothers the same opportunity."

"Oh, there is a comment I want to make, but this is not the place," he said with a snort as he grabbed up a few strips of thick-cut bacon.

"Let me guess," I said, leaning closer to him to drop my voice. "Were you going to make a joke about how if I'm going to suck your dick, then I should make sure to work the shaft at the same time?"

He laughed. "Actually, that's better than what I was going to say, so we'll go with your idea."

I was prepared to fire back with something to give him shit, but I stopped when I spotted Mona standing in the doorway that led deeper into the house. Her eyes were locked on the two of us, her expression hard and utterly unreadable as we continued to talk. My heart squeezed far more painful and uncomfortable than when Leon told me he still loved me.

No, it was a feeling I remembered all too well but hadn't felt in a long time. It was the same feeling that had come down on me when I'd watched the two uniformed police officers walk down the hallway straight toward my office. At that moment, I felt a surge of understanding so strong it was like a psychic vision that they were there for me and that I was going to watch my life shatter like glass.

That feeling didn't disappear when she turned and walked into the hallway, out of sight. It left a lingering bitterness on my tongue as I stood there, trying to remember what I was doing and staring stupidly at my plate.

"Hey," Leon said softly, inching closer and stepping into my line of sight. Immediately, I found his concern and felt pressure ease in my chest. Not a lot, but it was enough to let me breathe smoother. "What's up?"

"I just got a terrible feeling," I told him quietly. "Something's wrong. Really wrong."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Mona."

"Where?" he asked, twisting around to look. "I don't see her."

"She was standing in the doorway, and the look on her face just…" I shook my head. "I don"t know. Maybe it's paranoia."

"About Mona?" he asked, cocking his head. "You know what, come on. Let's eat outside."

It wasn't done often and usually got people scolded because they left things lying around instead of bringing them in to be cleaned. Yet I didn't have it in me to argue as he led me toward the back of the dining hall and out onto the back porch. I took the nearest seat, dropping my plate on the small table beside it, and Leon took the chair on the other side.

"Talk to me," he said quietly. There was no need to keep secrets. It wasn't like anyone would hear us over the din of the dining hall. "What's going on, and why does Mona have you jumpy? I've never seen you worry about her at all."

"There's been…well, it started a few months ago," I said. "I-I debated whether I should tell you because, in the end, I didn't do what was asked of me. But at the same time, I hated keeping something from you."

He watched me carefully, his brow slowly knitting together. "What are you talking about? What secret? What did Mona do?"

I should have known that, eventually, I would tell him the truth. I'd kept it from him because I had bought into what Mona had told me when she'd given her reasoning for including me. Yet, as I'd told her recently, I didn't think it was necessary. Maybe that had been why I'd never tried to do what she asked, instead doing what came naturally to me. Yet I should have known the truth would find its way out of me. I had never been very good at keeping things from Leon.

With a heavy sigh, I took an even heavier breath and decided to tell him about her plan. In retrospect, it sounded like the most ridiculous thing. Me covertly trying to nudge him in a direction I would have done even without her prompting. Looking back, I didn't understand why it had been so tempting, even if it did include trying to help Leon see his full potential.

"I don't know," I admitted when I finally finished explaining. "Maybe I was trying not to piss her off, or maybe I was hoping that would mean I'd be able to spend more time with you.

"So, wait," he said, having stayed quiet the whole time and letting me tell the story. That was all it took to immediately shut my mouth and let him say whatever he wanted. He had given me the same courtesy. "You agreed to manipulate me so Mona could have her way?"

"God," I hissed through my teeth. "It was one thing to say it aloud and hear not only how stupid it sounds but underhanded. It's something else entirely to hear you say it. Shit."

Leon frowned at the ground, and I could practically hear the gears in his head whirling furiously behind his pinched brow. "I don't get her sometimes. What was the point?"

"She sees a future for you here."

"What?"

That was when I had no choice but to explain her end goal, how she saw potential in his ability to see into other people, understand them, and know how to bring out their best. How, in the end, she was looking to expand things so she could improve this place and probably settle some ambition she had in her head.

"Why, even when she's doing something that could be good, does she have to play these stupid games?" he demanded between clenched teeth.

"Because," I began with a sigh, wondering when the anger would show itself, "I guess she didn't trust that you would go along with it. To be fair?—"

"Seriously? Now, you're going to take her side? Like it's okay?"

"As I said earlier, the whole idea was stupid and underhanded. I've already admitted that. And to be fair, you can be remarkably stubborn when it comes to people trying to help you or pointing out that you're not a waste of space."

"Fine, but I don't need someone I'm supposed to be able to trust to start making deals behind my back to manipulate me into doing what they want."

"Which is why I haven't done it?"

"Really?" he asked, his brow shooting upward. "Because I recall you pushing me to do everything Mona asked."

"Uh, everything?"

"You've been encouraging me this whole time to keep trusting my guts, to stand up for what I keep feeling in my gut, to be the mentor I keep thinking I can be."

God, how absurd was this whole conversation? Without context, it would have sounded like we were arguing about whether it was a good thing that I was encouraging. I couldn't blame him for being upset, though there were some things I hoped to address before this got too out of hand.

"Listen," I said, hoping he was listening with more than just anger. "There's no excuse for my agreeing to her idea, none. It's not like she would have kept us from being around one another. She can be a hard ass, but she's not spiteful."

"You say that, but that woman makes me wonder."

I had to smile at that. "Well, you've always been?—"

"What?"

"You and her have always, I don't know. You've never seen eye to eye, and it always feels like the two of you are ready to get into a slapfight at any moment."

"So? Clearly, I have a reason."

"Your reason before was that she was always messing with you, doing her…Mona thing."

"Yeah, and I always thought it was weird that it felt like she was constantly pushing me, yet trying to pull me back too. Little did I know the two of you were taking care of things when I was out of the room."

"Okay, now you're just being ridiculous," I said with a huff, feeling my patience slipping away. "I'm not going to sit here and claim you shouldn't be mad at either of us, especially me. Like I said, it was stupid and underhanded. But please don't make this out to be like we were in some smokey back room, trading state secrets, plotting your every move like some weird chess board."

He glared at me. "That is not?—"

"Yeah, that's how you were making it sound."

"How the hell are you the one mad right now?"

"I'm not pissed…yet. But I won't let you take something bad and make it out to be one hundred times worse. Can we maybe avoid turning this into a cloak-and-dagger tale of the grand betrayal you suffered and instead focus on what it is?"

His eyes narrowed further. "Fine, tell me what it is."

"It's a case of Mona and I being stupid," I admitted with a shrug. "Both of us, for our own reasons, should have known better. Her because it wasn't necessary, and she should have just tried to level with you. And I didn't need an excuse to hang around you, and I knew I wasn't going to do it anyway."

He turned away with a huff, shaking his head. "I don't even know how pissed I am right now. It's all bundled up with other things. Like, on the one hand, I'm pretty pissed, but on the other, you didn't do it?"

"I mean, you were right. I did encourage you and try to give you that extra push when I could, but I did that years ago. What Mona wanted me to do was something I would have done anyway. I didn't do it because she wanted it, but because that's how I've always been with you. I want you to do better. I want you to be the best version of you that you can be."

"And I'm incapable of figuring out what that is on my own?"

"I…" I hung my head and sighed. "I know sometimes you fight that sort of thing. I don't know. You've always struggled between doing better by yourself and just stagnating. Like you think you deserve nothing but bad shit or average shit, I guess."

His eyes swiveled to me, looking me over slowly. After a moment, he took a deep breath and clasped his hands together in his lap. "I'm not happy with you."

"To be fair, I didn't expect you to be. But if I was more worried about you being upset with me than I was about you knowing the truth, then I would have kept it to myself."

"You could have. I never once suspected you were in on her nonsense."

"Just because there was a high chance of you never knowing doesn't mean I shouldn't have told you…and sooner than this."

"Is that why you're so worried about her?"

"I don't…" I began and then stopped, thinking back to minutes before when I'd seen her watching me. She was naturally intense, but I had never seen her stare someone down as hard as she had me. It had been ominous, "think so. Maybe? She didn't seem all that pissed when I told her I wasn't going to keep going with her plan."

His brow shot up. "Really? When did you do that?"

"Eh, a few weeks ago, I guess. She came to see me in the clinic for some reason, and I told her I wasn't going to pretend to keep going with her idea. As far as I could see, she was just normal Mona about the whole thing, wasn't upset or anything."

"And now?"

"Now I guess she was right, and you've rubbed off on me because every instinct in my gut tells me something is seriously wrong and I'm in trouble."

"That doesn't make sense."

"I know. But it's there."

I almost expected him to dismiss my concerns. It wasn't like I had any proof to make my case. But at the same time, I wasn't dealing with a person who was the type to dismiss a gut feeling. Leon might sometimes question his own, but he still believed in the concept.

"Well," he said, glancing over, "there's generally only one way to settle the issue if someone is out for your ass or not."

"What? Sit and wait?"

"Well, okay, I guess there's two, but that one sucks, so we probably shouldn't do that one. I was thinking more along the lines of going to find her and talking."

"I think wasting our time hunting her down when our lunch break is almost over would be a good way to get in trouble."

"Nah, she always takes this time to eat lunch with Mr. Isaiah most days. And if she's not in there, he'll know where she is."

I grimaced at the thought of trying to get answers. On the one hand, he was right, going to find her would settle the entire thing. On the other hand, if it was settled in the way I feared, I'd just be accelerating whatever doom I felt was inevitably coming my way.

"I guess it would just be better to pull off the bandage and get this over with," I admitted with a grimace. "The longer I wait, the more freaked out I'm going to get."

"Well, then let's go deal with the issue," he said with a small smile. "And then once we do that, we can talk about what you and I are going to do about this little revelation of yours."

"Oh boy," I muttered with a roll of my eyes, only to grimace. "Sorry, you're right. You deserve to be upset with me."

"Upset would be the word, yeah. But that's better than being pissed."

"True. And I hear it's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Not that I would know."

Leon's nose wrinkled. "Yeah."

My eyes widened. "Wait a minute."

"God, don't."

"Did you run afoul of someone who wanted to piss on you?"

He groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Yes. And without warning or even telling me they were into that sort of thing, alright? And all over my damn couch."

"No!" I all but crowed. "Holy shit, that's awful."

"And yet you sound like you're enjoying yourself."

"I mean, it is pretty funny."

"Let's not piss me off any more than you already…don't."

I covered my mouth, taking a moment to compose myself, giving him a neutral expression when I pulled my hand away. "I wasn't thinking of anything. Wasn't going to say anything either."

"Sure you weren't," he said, sliding his hands to his knees to push to his feet. "Right, let's go find Mona and get this settled."

His voice grew quiet, and I watched his eyes widen, forcing me to turn to find what he was staring at. My once calm heart began to beat furiously as I saw Mona standing just outside the dining hall door. She didn't stand alone either. Mr. Isaiah was with her, but so were Dane and Max. The former looked somber, while the latter looked like he was prepared to knock my head off with the way he glared at me.

"What is this?" Leon asked, finding his voice as I struggled to find mine. It didn't help that the sudden spike of fear inside me tightened my chest and throat, making it a chore to breathe. "Mona?"

"I cannot begin to say how much I wish I never had to say the words I'm about to say, but you're going to have to come with us, Reed," she said, her voice tight and thick with emotion. "And I don't want you to cause too much trouble in the process."

At her words, Max's face somehow got even darker as Dane's expression dropped, eyes landing on the floor rather than making eye contact. I looked between them, finding Mr. Isaiah watching us with a downward twist of his lips that had thinned considerably as Mona talked.

"Trouble?" I managed to get out.

"You still haven't said what this is about," Leon added, and I could feel him bristling beside me.

"I'll explain after Reed has come with us," Mona said in an even voice, but I could see her eyes watching us intently, but mostly Leon. She seemed to think that if either of us were going to be a problem, it would be Leon. From how tightly he was standing beside me, I couldn't blame her. "And I'll explain to him only. You return to your duties."

"Like hell," Leon snapped and I reached to lay a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him. It wasn't like him to lose his temper, but in the rare instances I'd seen it, it was explosive and uncompromising. "You can't just roll up here and start making demands."

"Yes, I can," Mona said, glancing over her shoulder to where Mr. Isaiah stood. "As second in command, and with Garrett standing right here, I have a say in whatever I do or don't do while managing the program. And I have the right to detain a program member when they're…whenever I feel it's necessary."

"You…" Leon began, but I squeezed hard on his shoulder to cut him off. "What?"

"If you try to stop them, you're just going to get into an entire mess," I said, now knowing the danger that surrounded me. Dane and Max were here as temporary muscle in case things got physical, though I didn't miss the reappearance of the pistol holster on Mona's hip. Clearly, she wanted this to go peacefully, and if not, Max and Dane could contain it, and if not, well, that was a lot messier.

"Mona isn't going to start throwing around her authority for no good reason," I told him, giving another gentler squeeze on his shoulder. "Don't."

"You didn't do anything," Leon insisted. "I know you didn't."

"Well, clearly, they seem to think I did. Otherwise, Mona wouldn't have summoned her goon squad," I said, watching as Dane winced and Max pulled his eyes away, looking anywhere but at us. I had already suspected Dane was unhappy with his conscription, but from that small act alone, I guessed he wasn't alone. "Just…let's go quietly. Where am I going?"

"The detainment cells," she answered curtly, and I felt my heart sink. It wasn't a surprise; I had fully expected that to be her answer when I realized how seriously this was being treated. On the other hand, I'd hoped we would be going to one of their offices instead.

Now, I knew the stakes. The detainment cells were a source of fear for guys in the program, as it meant, without fail, that anyone sent to them was bombing out of the program. I didn't know what arrangements the ranch had with the prisons we came from, but it was in those cells where you waited until someone came and brought you back to prison. There, you would finish the rest of your full sentence, as getting kicked out of the program focused on trying to show you could be rehabilitated didn't look too good in front of the parole board.

"Alright," I said as I took a deep breath and tried to keep my hands steady. "Then let's go."

"Reed," Leon protested, grabbing my arm before I could walk away.

I put my hand over his and smiled. "There's nothing we can do about this, Leon. I don't know what's happening right now, but I do know no amount of fighting will help me, or you, for that matter."

"No fuss?" Mona asked, not sounding surprised but with the tone of someone confirming something that was a little hazy still.

"I'm not going to fuss, fight, or cause a scene," I said, knowing plenty of people were bearing witness to this from the dining hall. So, it was already a scene, but I had no intention of making it into a spectacle. "So, take me where I need to go. Leon isn't going to be a problem either."

"Leon?"

Beside me, Leon let out a shaky breath that had a hint of a growl behind it. "I'm not going to cause him any more trouble."

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Then, in that case," she said, turning toward Max. "Take Leon to my office and ensure he stays there while I deal with things."

The tension in Max's face increased as I watched a muscle tick in his jaw. However, he said nothing, turning his dark eyes to Leon and keeping them there. Apparently, he was going to keep his eyes off Mona if he could help it. I didn't know if that was support for me, but I could at least appreciate him being pissed off at Mona for this whole situation. It could have been done when there was less chance of being seen by so many.

"Then let's go," Mona said, the three of them stepping away from the stairs and waiting for me to move.

As soon as a clear space was made, I suddenly felt the urge to bolt. It wasn't like I would get very far. The ranch was surrounded by miles of unforgiving land. Even in the winter, you wouldn't expect to survive long during the day without provisions, and definitely not at night. Even then, the only civilization was the nearby town of Rapture, which would be put on alert, as would any nearby farms.

The urge died as quickly as it had sparked to life, though, and I walked forward, letting Mona, Mr. Isaiah, and Dane flank me on all sides but the front. I didn't need them to guide me. After all, I knew where I was going. Max stayed behind at Mona's request.

As we walked, I glanced over my shoulder to find Leon watching us intensely as he stood leaning on the porch railing. Max stood beside him, his face in shadows from the porch, but I bet he was still scowling heavily as we walked away.

The walk was silent as we reached the squat, brick building behind the Big House in a lonely corner of the ranch. There were no personal cabins nearby, no barns or pastures, just a couple of unused and worn-down storage sheds that probably hadn't seen a broom in years.

"Thank you, Dane," Mona said, and the man took it as a dismissal, shooting me a grimace of what I thought might be an apology before running off. "Inside, please."

I stepped into the building. It was built into the ground, probably to keep it surrounded by cooler earth because of hot air rising. It probably didn't count for shit when the warmer months were around, and unless there was some form of cool air running through it, I was going to be pretty miserable through the days either way.

"Do I get to know what this is about?" I asked as Mr. Isaiah and Mona followed me.

Mona gestured toward the first door. "In."

I sighed, stepping into the first cell and trying not to wrinkle my nose at the sight of the cot in one corner and the toilet without the slightest bit of privacy. I had never seen the interior of the building, but clearly, they weren't interested in anyone being comfortable. The only difference between this cell and the one I'd been in before coming to the ranch was that I would probably not have a roommate.

"You'll be here for a few days before we can get someone to transport you," Mona explained as she closed the door behind me. The metal echoed in the dim room, and my stomach twisted at its ugly familiarity. "Perhaps up to a week. We'll make sure you're fed, bring you clothes, and allow you to shower as well."

"What, do these accommodations come equipped with a shower?"

"There is one in the building. So until someone comes to pick you up, this is where you'll be. Would you like us to notify your family?"

I laughed, the bitter sound echoing off the walls. "I'm sure they'll have another reason to be disappointed in me. That's if they even give you a reaction in the first place. No, the only person I want notified of anything is Leon."

"I'll talk to him," she said, her eyes sweeping over me. The softness in her voice made me look at her a little more closely, and I would swear there was a flicker of regret before it was replaced with her flinty stare.

"Now, do I get to know why I'm being thrown behind bars again?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Smuggling," she said simply, and I stared at her.

"Smuggling…what?" I blinked.

"Narcotics, out of our clinic. To people here and in the neighboring areas who are willing to pay for it," she said, cocking her head. "If you'd like to tell us where you've been storing the money, we might consider putting in a word with the parole board so you don't have to serve the full sentence on top of the one you will probably be charged with because of the smuggling and narcotics sales."

I stared at her. "I'm sorry…say again?"

"And for that matter, if you hand over the names of the individuals you were selling to, we might even consider bumping you down to Tier Three again to start over on our form of parole. You'll never be allowed around the clinic again and have to agree never to have your medical license again."

I could only stare at her in abject shock. "I…what?"

"I don't need an answer right away," she said with a shrug. "But when I tell you your transportation has been officially arranged, that's the last moment you have to take me up on my offer. Now, I have an investigation to tidy up and your boyfriend to deal with. So make yourself comfortable."

Mona gave me a last look before turning and marching out of the room, bathing the interior with sunlight as she opened the door. Mr. Isaiah lingered behind momentarily, his head still down and his hands in his pockets.

"Real sorry to see you in this state," he said with a small, sad smile. "Always liked you, Reed."

"Mr. Isaiah," I began. "I don't know what this is even about."

He sighed heavily. "I wish that were true. And if it is, then God forgive Mona and me. But if it's not, I reckon you should take her up on her offer. Took me a good minute to convince her to offer it. I still think you're a good man under all this mess, Reed. And I'd hate to see you go just because of greed and some stupidity."

The sheer regret and earnestness of his voice left me speechless, killing my protest in my throat as I stared at him. The seconds ticked by before he gave a slight shrug and turned to leave the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me in the gloom.

I had no idea what was going on, Mona hadn't explained beyond the charges. Then again, she didn't have to present the evidence for my supposed crimes. I was technically a ward of the state, essentially ‘loaned' to the ranch for the program. They could do anything with me, and I didn't have the same rights I did the first time I'd been accused of a crime. Only when I was dragged to court to face the accusations would I hear the evidence, but for being booted out of the program, Mona and Mr. Isaiah were judges, jury, and executioners, and now my head was officially on the block to roll.

I sat on the cot in the corner, finally letting all the bottled-up emotions in me grow, no longer needing to tamp them down in the face of an audience. I had known something was odd about those discrepancies with the inventory, but I had never suspected it had anything to do with narcotics. Just how much had disappeared? And who was pointing fingers at me?

Those were questions I would probably not get answers to until I was dragged into court. If the proof were concrete enough, then it wouldn't matter what I said or did. I was going to end up with even more time on my sentence, and I wondered how old I would be before I was released.

I had been unsure about my future, and now I suppose that had been a good thing. I had accepted my punishment because of my failure that had cost two innocent lives, and then, I accepted the ranch's offer as a chance to redeem myself and perhaps forgive myself. None of that seemed to matter as I sat in the narrow cell, staring up at the small window covered in two layers of mesh, the inner one thin to block out any debris and the outer one thick and sturdy to keep me in.

And yet, as I sat there in the dim light by myself, my biggest regret was that I had just walked away from Leon. I probably wouldn't lay eyes on him for years, and I had just…walked away. I hadn't allowed myself to have a moment of weakness. Too focused on trying to remain steady, fully aware that several sets of eyes and ears were locked on us.

Now, he was out of my reach and I was going to be left alone to the whims of fate.