Chapter 10

He did not allow them to sleep. His lovemaking ranged from tender and slow and thorough, so much so that by the time he entered her, she was writhing with a need that surpassed anything she had ever experienced before.

And then it was rough and feverish, as if he was trying to brand her with his body. Or was he trying to make good on his promise to plant his seed inside her?

They were up at first light because his pilot was waiting, and a car had been dispatched to take him to the private airfield.

"Stay here." He urged. "This place belongs to me - to the Chapman's-"

"No." She shook her head and could feel the tears threatening. "There are too many reminders of you here. I would not be able to sleep."

They were out on the grounds where her car was. The driver was five minutes away, and they wished they could freeze time.

"I left something for you inside your case."

"What?"

"You'll see." His eyes roved over her face as if trying to memorize her features. "You need sleep."

"Whose fault is that?" She asked shakily as she touched her hand to his face. "You need a shave."

"I will do that when I am en route." His hands cupped her face, and his bead bent to hers.

"Don't give up on us," he whispered against her lips. "I am going to call you every chance I get."

"You had better." She warned him huskily.

"And if you are pregnant, call me immediately. Swear to me, you will."

She nodded and gave herself up to his ardent kisses that had her clinging to him. She clung to him, and the very thing she swore she did not want to happen did. In the middle of his kisses, the tears trickled down her cheeks.

Dragging his lips from hers, he cupped her face, his thumbs wiping away the moisture. "We promised no tears.' He rebuked her gently.

"I know. Oh God, I love you so damn much."

"I love you too."

"If you don't come back-"

"I give you leave to find me and strangle me," he said hoarsely. The car had just pulled up, and she did not want to let him go. If she did, she was afraid she would never see him again.

He hugged her tight, his jaw clenched in tension. He would be leaving her, and even though he had promised this would not be his last goodbye, he had no idea when he would return. Just leaving her for a day felt like a bloody lifetime, and he could not bear it.

"I have to go." He forced despair from his tone.

"I know."

"I will call you from the plane."

"Okay." She was still clinging to him.

Lifting her face from his chest, he felt his heart twisting as he stared at her. Her lashes were spiky with tears, and she looked shattered. How the hell was he supposed to leave her like this? But he had a duty and a responsibility to perform.

Brushing his lips against hers, he plunged his tongue inside her mouth and kissed her with all the pent-up emotions he was feeling.

"This is not goodbye," he whispered.

*****

He should try to get some sleep. His body was exhausted, but his mind was all over the place. He had been drinking steadily. The flight attendant had stopped by every few minutes, asking if he needed anything.

He knew she was flirting with him; he would usually have been tolerant. Today was not the day. He wanted to tell her to get the bloody hell out of his face.

He had left the woman he loved, and the higher the plane went, the more distance it was putting between them. He wanted to order the pilot to turn around so he could be with her. He had the awful premonition that something was going to keep them separated.

He wanted oblivion. He was missing her already. The taste of her skin, the feel of her when he was deep inside her. He had told her that she should contact him immediately as soon as she found out she was with a child.

And he was hoping she was. God, he was hoping that he had planted his seed inside her. It would force him to leave everything and rush to her.

"Oh, Tessa," he whispered achingly. "I miss you so damn much."

*****

She was about to step out of the bedroom to leave for the gallery when she remembered that she had not unpacked her suitcase. She had tried to get some sleep, but that had been impossible. She had ended up twisting and turning on the bed, remembering everything.

Sitting on the side of the bed, she opened the case and saw the envelope on top of her stuff. With trembling fingers, she slit it open and pulled out the single sheet of paper. Something fell out, and she picked it up. It was a card - a platinum with her name embossed on it.

Putting the card down, she read the note. "Don't be bloody stubborn. I want you to have this and use it, darling. For anything - it has a lot of zeros, and this is me taking care of my girl. And you are my girl, and I love you."

Putting the note down, she bowed her head and felt the tears sliding down her cheeks. She loved him so much that it was like an ache. She could not bear it. She could not bear him not being here. Reaching into the case, she removed his shirt and pressed it against her face.

"Landen, I miss you so much. I fell in love for the first time, and this is what happened." She stretched full-length on the bed and held the shirt against her chest. "Whatever happens, I will never regret it. Never."

*****

He was travel-weary. He had slept fitfully on the flight, his nap interrupted by dreams of her. Dreams of Tessa finding someone else and calling to tell him. He had called to tell her he had landed, and she had sounded as bleak as he felt.

He had tried to bolster her spirit by teasing her about her making mistakes at the gallery due to her lack of sleep. "If any of those rich guys are always hanging around pretending to purchase artwork when they want a chance to get your number."

"It sounds as if you are talking from experience."

"I am, and I got so bloody lucky."

Now he was here, and suddenly, it did not feel like home without her. A car met him at the hangar, and he requested that the driver take him straight to the hospital.

He had called his mother and sister and knew they were both at the hospital. And that his father was now in a coma. He had not mentioned that information to Tessa because he did not want to put anything else on her. But the information was pressing down on him and suffocating him. He knew what it meant.

He was the man of the family, and if anything happened to… Shaking away the depressing thought, he climbed out as soon as the vehicle stopped at the front of the hospital. He was escorted to the private room by the doctors assigned to his father's case.

"You are finally here." His mother, Lady Margaret Chapman, rose primly from the plush visitor's chair beside the bed.

"Mother." He considered moving toward her for a hug but knew she would not appreciate it. Instead, he went over to his sister and took her hands. Squeezing them gently, he turned to his mother again. "The doctors gave me an update."

"They have no idea when and if he will come out of it." Her green eyes wandered over his unshaven face with a look of disapproval. "You could have cleaned up before coming."

"I was under the impression that my presence was needed."

"It is." She turned to look at her husband. "He was worried about you."

Landen's eyebrows lifted skeptically as he stared at the man lying still in the bed.

"Why?"

"You have been behaving strangely. Taking off, going to that country, and refusing to take up your duty as the company"s CEO."

"What are you saying, Mother?" He asked sardonically. "That I am the reason for him being in this bed?"

"Of course, she is not saying that, darling!" Elizabeth jumped to her feet, anxious to avoid a confrontation.

"This is not a discussion we need to have right here," she said stiffly.

"Indeed. I need to go to my place and get some sleep."

"I will walk out with you. Is that all right, Mother?" Elizabeth looked at her anxiously.

"Go ahead." She waved them away before taking her place and sitting ramrod straight next to her husband.

"You look tired," Elizabeth commented as they made their way out into the parking lot.

"Why, thank you. Can we drop you somewhere?"

"I drove myself." She touched a hand lightly on his arm, delaying him. "Are you staying?"

"Is this not my home?"

"You spoke about someone you met." She saw the pain slashed across his face as he looked away from her.

"Yes."

"Landen-"

He shook his head and forced a smile. "It's not a topic I want to discuss." Lifting her hand, he kissed the back of it. "I will see you tomorrow."

He went towards the vehicle and slid into the back seat.

"Where to, sir?"

He hesitated briefly. "Stamford," he responded before settling back in the seat. He had the unpleasant task of breaking it off with his mistress and was not looking forward to it.

Turning his wrist, he looked at the time and contemplated calling Tessa. But he was on his way to a woman he had been sleeping with, and this was not a good time to be calling the woman he loved. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes wearily and realized that he had aged drastically in four weeks.

"We are here, sir. Shall I leave you-"

"No," he said curtly. "I will be back in a few minutes."

"Right, sir."

Without waiting for his driver to open the door, he pushed open the gate of the picturesque cottage. Ignoring the flowers blooming in wild profusion in the garden, he bounded up the steps and knocked briskly on the door.

He knew she was at home because he had called the tavern where she worked and was told this was her evening off.

The door was pulled open with a force that indicated her happiness to see him.

"You are back. I heard about your father." Jillian's expression was beaming as she stared at him.

"Yes. May I come in?" He asked formally.

"Yes, yes." Stepping aside, she waited until he was inside before closing the door.

"Would you like some wine?"

"No." Landen stood where he was, eyes roving over her lush figure, realizing he felt nothing.

"Shall we go into the living room?"

"I am not staying long." Shoving his hands into his pockets, he continued to study her.

"You must be tired."

"I am. Jillian, I am sorry. But it's over between us. I will make arrangements for you to keep the property and transfer some money into your account so that you can maintain the living arrangements."

She blinked at him. "Was it something I did?"

"No." He snapped, feeling lower than dirt. "No." He shook his head. "I have to stand up to my responsibilities now that Father is not well." It was not the entire truth, but she did not need to know the whole story. "I have to go."

"Oh please, Landen-" Before he could reach for the door handle, she clung to his arm. "Just tell me what to do. You don't have to be here frequently-"

Removing her hand from his arm, he put her away. "I am sorry, but this is goodbye." Pulling the door open, he made his exit and slammed it shut. Making his way down the steps, he jumped into the vehicle and bid the driver to go, his expression grim.

He had been careless with women's feelings in the past because, to him, they had just been diversions, welcome ones. But now he was in love, and his heart felt as if it was being shattered into a million pieces. Reaching for the phone, he dialed her number. He had to hear her voice.

"Hi."

Closing his eyes, he leaned back in the seat and breathed. "Hi," he whispered huskily. "Do you know how good it feels to hear your voice?"

"I could say the same. How is your dad?"

Taking a deep breath, he realized he could not put off telling her. "He is in a coma."

He waited for her to respond.

"I see. What are they saying?"

"A massive heart attack."

"What are his chances?"

"They are doing all they can. And he is getting the absolute best care."

"What are we doing, Landen?"

"I don't know what you mean?" But he did.

"This changes everything."

"It changes nothing," he hissed. "Please don't do this while I am thousands of miles from you, darling. I cannot stand it. Right now, I only want to hold you, to feel your body wrapped around mine."

"I am sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me you love me."

"You already know that."

"I want to hear you say it, darling."

"I love you."

He sighed raggedly. "And I love you. I am on my way home to try and get some sleep. I know the time difference will be hell on us, but I will call and expect you to do the same. No matter where I am, I will always pick up."

"About the card-"

"Darling, if you refuse to use it, you will greatly hurt me. I want to take care of you. I want to -" He bit off a sigh. "There is so much I want to do for you."

"And all I want is you."

"Oh, my sweet." His body felt tense and exhausted. He was not sure how much more he could take.

"You have me," he told her hoarsely. "You always will. How are you, darling?"

"Tired. I plan on going home early to try and get some sleep."

"Okay, my sweet. I will call you tomorrow."

He hung up and realized that they were at his flat. Suddenly, it felt strange to him, and it no longer felt like home.

*****

"You were always so practical."

Tessa gave her stepsister an amused look as she handed her the glass of wine.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you have gone ahead and fallen in love with a man who is as unattainable as the moon."

Karen curled her legs under and took a sip of the wine. Tessa had left the gallery intending to come home, drinking an entire bottle of wine and trying to get some sleep, but Karen had called while she was on her way and said she was nearby.

"I am nothing if not contrary." She did not want to talk about him. What they shared was private and too precious to be dissected, but knowing her sister, it would happen. "I guess American men did not do it for me."

Karen did not smile at the attempt to joke.

"Is there a future?"

"He says there will be."

"And you believe him."

"I have to." She smiled whimsically. "My heart is at stake."

"Oh, honey, his parents-"

"Will not accept me." She gulped the wine. "I am aware. I am an African American and do not possess an ounce of royal blood." She drank some more. "I did not choose this; I never expected anything like this to happen. He called me and said his dad is in a coma."

"Oh, my Lord. Which means-"

"He might die or be in a coma for months. And it also means that Landen is forced to stay. He did not say that, but I know what it means."

Ever since he told her about the coma, she had been in a sense of unreality. He was the only son and heir, and his duty was to steer the ship. His mother and sister would need him. She was trying to accept that.

"And I might be pregnant," she added dully.

"Tessa-"

"No." She shook her head. "I am hoping I am."

"Because it would force him to marry you?"

"No." She repeated with a smile. "Because I would have something of him with me."

"Honey, you are not thinking straight. This man-"

"His name is Landen!" She closed her eyes at the look on her sister's face. "I am sorry."

Lunging to her feet, she went to pour some more wine. "Oh, Karen, I am such a mess. I miss him so much that it's like a physical ache." She came and sat back down. "How the hell am I going to survive without him? And what if he does not come back? What am I going to do?"

"You go to him," Karen said firmly. "Give him time and then ask him what he is about, and you go to him."

*****

His body had become accustomed to US time, and he could not fall asleep. But he knew it was not that. He was thinking about her, missing her. He had spent weeks sleeping with her beside him, and it had become a habit.

Her flawless skin pressed against him. He was on the balcony, smoking. His mother had called and demanded that he present himself at the manor first thing in the morning to discuss what they needed to do.

"You are the man of the family now."

He would also have to go into the office and attend meetings. Leaning his head back, he watched the smoke curl upwards, his eyes squinting. He hated his responsibility, the fact that he was the only son, and the fact that he was not free to do as he pleased. She should be with him, and he should be able to choose his bride.

He needed her with him and felt such an acute sense of loss that was potent. Stubbing out the cigar, he sat up and dragged his fingers through his hair. It was almost eleven for him, which made it around six for her. Was she sleeping? He wondered achingly. He had kept her up; was it only last night? It seemed so much longer.

Reaching for his phone, he dialed her number and felt relief when she answered immediately.

"You are supposed to be asleep." He reminded her tenderly.

"I could say the same about you. What are you doing?"

"Hanging out on my balcony. I tried to drink an entire bottle of scotch, but it's not working. I miss you. I believe I told you that already."

"I like to hear you say it."

"What are you doing?"

"Making tea."

"You are making tea?" He asked in amusement. "Don't tell me that I managed to rub off on you the weeks I was there."

"You did. Significantly."

His tone turned sober. "I need you."

"Landen-"

"I know it's not fair to be saying this to you, but I need you so damn much."

"You are going to make me start bawling down the place. I am giving you time to do what you have to do."

"Tell me you will be there for me."

"I am here for you. If you meet someone or if you decide that it's prudent for you to marry that- that person-"

"Don't!" He said sharply. "I can never be with anyone else, and I think you should know that."

"I would not be able to bear it."

"Do you think I would hurt you like that? Hurt us that way?"

"The distance might change the way you feel."

"Please don't belittle my love for you. It pains me when you do."

"I am sorry. I am trying to pick a fight with you so that I can convince myself that you are not worth this pain that I am feeling."

"Is it working?"

"No. I still love you."

"And I love you. Tell me about work."