28. Lamb

Chapter Twenty-Eight

LAMB

H er steps were subtle and light, passing over the old, creaky floorboards without even a whisper of a sound. She stopped a pace away from where I lingered, my back pressed against the wall where I had waited and listened.

I pushed away, letting my eyes rise to her familiar face. The dark hallway hid her features in shadow, and even with keen eyes, I could parse little from it.

“Have you seen Ash?” I kept my tone even.

Anna turned slowly. “Outside,” she answered with little to no emotion. Her boots picked up, and she brushed past me, her skin cold as she grazed my arm.

I shouldn’t ask.

“Business or personal?”

I stopped Anna in her tracks. Her shoulders stiffened, and a frown tightened her delicate features as she turned to look at me over her shoulder. “What?”

“You and Ash,” I pressed. “Is it business, or is it personal?”

Recognition fluttered over her face, remembering the question she’d asked me at the club threshold only a few days prior.

Anna turned away, her rigid posture dropping slack as a deep, aged sigh fell from her lips. “Business,” she said. “There’s nothing personal.”

At first, there had been a mix of pain and grief. Or perhaps it had been hurt and betrayal. It all flickered away so fast I couldn’t get a quick enough read. Now, little emotion remained at all.

A soft mumble beneath her breath almost passed me by as she turned away and walked away.

“ Not anymore. ”

My eyes chased the dark shadows of the empty hallway for a moment or two, the image of her walking away lingering in my mind. I turned toward the open doorway, leaving the thoughts to dissipate as a cold breeze cut across my skin and the soft glow of amber light filtered through the dark.

Ash’s brown hair was tangled in the breeze, sweeping down like a mourning veil. Her knees were collapsed into the earth, hands tightened around fistfuls of grass as her head hung from her shoulders. If not for the movement of her hair and clothes, I’d have thought someone had captured her likeness in stone. Even the subtle motions of her chest rising and falling were negligible.

Between the gusts, I glimpsed her face as I crouched down next to her, but it wasn’t enough for someone like me to work out the subtle complexities moving there.

Time passed, and she didn’t move. Neither did I. I just waited while the blood pooled in my feet and goosebumps ran along my skin until it felt like sunrise would be creeping around the corner.

Ash sighed, and a hand unwound from the grass. Dirty fingers pawed through her hair, brushing back the wild mane, her head turning to the dark sky. The night reflected against her scarred eyes, the darkness swirling and pooling like a lake beneath the stars. They were red, and puffy, and irritated, but I saw no pain or devastation, her face devoid of anything of all.

“Ready to go?” I extended a hand toward her.

To my surprise, she took it straight away, her dirty red fingers sliding between mine, the touch of her palm chilling up my arm as I helped hoist her back to her feet, pins and needles rushing through my own.

I pulled her in toward my body, my heat sapped straight from my soul as her small, fragile body curled in next to mine, her hands sliding around my bicep, not a word of protest or refusal.

No words passed between us as we headed upstairs. Her head was miles away from where we walked arm in arm past my drunk brothers, naked women, and wild partygoers.

Ash slipped from my arm as we passed the threshold to my room, not waiting as I turned the lock.

Leaving it open was an invitation into my bed. Once, there’d been a time when I didn’t care who came walking in, but now, I’d shoot the next person who dared try.

Noise from the party stopped at the door, the soundproofing descending silence in the room. Only the ambient noises of the night slipped inside from the open window.

I turned back to Ash and watched her shirt drop to the floor. Layer by layer tumbled to her feet until she stood there, bare to me, clouded eyes dazed and distant.

I leaned back against the door, folding my arms over my chest, letting my eyes peruse the naked woman standing before me.

“I need a favor.”

“And that is?” I raised a brow.

“I want you to make me forget,” Ash whispered. “Even if it is just for a short while.”

I narrowed my eyes, an uncomfortable burn settling on my chest. Then I pushed off from the door, covering the small distance between us in a single stride. I stopped short of her, just enough to deprive her of my body heat. Small goosebumps covered her skin, her fine hairs standing on end, and her body shuddering with the tiniest shivers.

I reached down to the glasses she’d abandoned on the bedside table. I slid my finger beneath Ash’s chin, holding her face still as I slid the frames over her nose and ears. Surprise wove into her expression, settling into befuddlement through the clear lenses.

“You don’t get to use me like that,” I snipped, calm but stern. “If you want sex, that’s fine, but-” I tightened my hold, my thumb pushing up into the soft pallet of her jaw, pulling her forward. Her staggered step closed the distance as she followed my hand, her bare, solid nipples rubbing up against the thin material of my shirt. “You will remember who you are in bed with. No hiding. No running away.”

I waited, watching her eyes flicker between mine, choices whirling behind those cloudy green storms.

It felt like a year had passed before her body softened in my hands as understanding weaved through her features and my dick stood to attention. I strained against my jeans as my hands slid from her jaw, tracing each delicate edge of her body. Shivers and tremors rippled like the surface of still water, my touch affecting even the farthest edges of her body.

My hands settled beneath her small tight ass.

A gasp jerked from her lips as I picked her up with ease, taking a step forward and depositing her naked body on the top of the dresser. The carefully folded clothes toppled into a mess on the floor as I pushed my way between her naked thighs. They were soft and pliable, giving me access to her warm, damp center. Even in the dim light of the room, I could see her wetness glisten, her arousal making my own mouth water with desire.

I leaned forward, pressing a soft, delicate kiss to her lips as my last act of mercy. Then I took a knee.

Ash had no time to register what I was doing as my hands wrapped beneath her thighs, planting her calves over my shoulders and fastening my hands against the back of her spine. Her warmth spread across my face, and in her attempt to shuffle away, my hands caging her in only brought her warmth shuffling close enough to taste.

I peered over the growth of hair, her soft curls framing her red flushed face around my view. The glasses slipped down her nose, and the soft red blush burned across her cheeks. Her mouth parted, lips moist as her tongue perched between them, licking her lips in anticipation.

Just the innocent, seductive look was enough to have precum leaking into my pants and my briefs dampened beneath my jeans.

I pressed my face into her folds, my tongue diving for gold as it slid into her entrance, with no teasing or taste testing. I knew what I wanted. And I was taking it.

A moan burst from her lips, thighs clamping tight around my head as I buried myself deeper between her folds. I pulled her closer, dragging her to the edge of the dresser, pressing myself harder against her, trying to reach even a few millimeters deeper.

Pain rushed over my scalp as her fingers tangled in my hair. Whether she pulled for balance or pulled in pleasure, I couldn’t care less. I was addicted.

My patience wore thin, and her taste on my tongue was like an aphrodisiac. One second, I was in control; the next, I couldn’t stop. Like water in a desert, I was desperate to swallow, and lick, and taste every drip from her and wring her dry.

My nose pressed against her lips, rubbing on the inner folds of her labia. I hadn’t even moved to her clit yet and she was already rocking against me, possessed by pleasure and lust.

Her growing moans and whimpers spurred me further, and with tricks and tantalizing twists of my tongue, her walls began to clamp down around my mouth. Feeling her near her edge, I released her entrance.

A gasp of protest cut through the air. I had no plan to neglect her, but her desperate noise made my dick twitch painfully against the zip of my jeans. I shifted my face, her moist wetness coating my jaw as I lifted my chin and indulged her once more.

Time for dessert.

I latched onto the bundle of nerves already swollen and throbbing as my tongue danced around them.

Ash’s back arched but not a single noise managed to leave her lips as I sucked hard on her clit. Her fingers dug tight, pulling clumps of hair from my head as I fought against her hold, the pain only heightening my own arousal as I sucked punishingly hard.

It was enough.

Ash’s body quaked with her climax, legs clamped around my neck, pressing hard enough to suffocate my windpipe as her orgasm rocketed out of her. I hung on and drew out the pleasure until there was nothing left to give.

I released her clit, my tongue soothing the delicate nerves with long, languid licks. As the satisfaction began to disperse across her body, her legs fell limp over my back, and her body slumped against the white wall. Tired fingers slid from my hair, blond strands caught beneath her nails as they dropped onto the top of the wooden cabinet.

She panted, gazing up at the ceiling as she rode the euphoric high.

I rose from my knees, sliding her legs off my shoulders and letting them drape against the drawers, adjusting them beside my hips. She was slick in the center, her wetness sliding against my stomach as I pressed up against her. I leaned forward, her warmth burning through my middle as I pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, coating her in her fluid.

She managed a soft, weak return, her lips moving against me with a low, hoarse groan.

“We’re not done yet, sweetheart,” I whispered and watched her drooping eyes flutter wide. Her pupils dilated, and I couldn’t fight my smile. So dangerously innocent.

“ Oh ,” Ash breathed, eyes dropping down between us, tongue darting out at the sight of my hot, rock-hard dick demanding attention.

I didn’t wait. I’d long since slipped my jeans off, my erection jerking up against my abs as it nestled between her soaking wet folds, hot and throbbing against my length. I tilted back my hips, my head lined up against her entrance, hearing the soft suck of air tuck between Ash’s lips.

Ash met my gaze as I reached up with my free hand, grabbing the arm of her glasses and sliding them back securely onto her face, restoring her vision.

I slammed home.

Ash’s cry of surprise and pleasure cut through the air as I filled her to the hilt. Her wetness stuck to the curl of my pubes, our hair intertwined as her body flexed and throbbed against me, adjusting to my girth and length.

Pleasure rippled through my own body, threatening to explode then and there like a teenager with no physical control as she squeezed me like a second skin. I felt every muscle and twitch of her canal, as Ash’s head tipped back against the wall, her glasses starting to slide from her face as she moaned through the sensation.

My hand jumped to the back of her head, my fingers slipping behind her neck and pulling her head forward, stopping the glasses from slipping off. Her eyes were glazed with pleasure, her head limp in my hands.

“Don’t look away,” I demanded, letting my hips rock back as my length began to slide away. Ash’s eyes began to roll up, her head tilting back in pleasure. “Look at me, Ash. Don’t look anywhere else.”

I slammed back into her, and this time, I didn’t wait for her to adjust. She’d had enough time.

I kept my thrusts sharp but slow, painfully dragging out each length only to push back in hard and fast. Ash’s limp body grew tense and tight as desire filled her with each thrust. Her hands clamped onto the edge of the dresser, rocking beneath us as my movements picked up pace.

This had no patience. There was no love or delicacy. This was raw fucking.

My force became punishing, the dresser slamming against the wall with each pound of my hips, and Ash’s cries peaking with every bruising slam of my head against her cervix. Lust clouded my judgment, and my thoughts became silent from everything except the overwhelming desire to reach so far into her she would taste me at the back of her throat. It consumed my every thought, and even when my ass and my thighs burned with pressure, it only spurred me further.

Ash’s glasses began to slip from her sweat-slicked face, and at the sight of them disappearing, my hand jumped up her neck into her hair, my grip tightening into it and holding her head in place.

“Look at me,” I growled, the need for her to see me as she felt me deep inside consumed me. “Who am I?”

Ash moaned, her response garbled between her groans and gasps.

“Look at me,” I insisted, tilting her face to look into mine, our noses touching as I forced her eyes into mine. “Who. Am. I?”

“Lamb,” Ash cried. “You are Lamb.”

“Louder,” I growled, my face pressing into the side of her face, my lips pressing against the shell of her ear. “ Who am I?”

“LAMB!” Ash cried. “Lamb, Lamb, Lamb.”

Each breath became a prayer of my name, mixing with the slam of the dresser and my own greedy grunts as pleasure began to build in my dick. She clamped down around me, suffocating my shaft as resistance built in her channel and she reached the edge first.

I slid my lips down her damp skin, finding purchase in the nook of her shoulder. I pressed my lips against her skin and sank my teeth straight in.

Ash cried out my name, her orgasm exploding inside of her first as her cum raced down her thighs and lubricated against my abdomen. With one more thrust to bury me home, my balls slapped against her ass, tightening into rocks beneath me as my dick burst inside of her.

Tremors racked over my body as I collapsed against her, my energy sucked out of my dick as it spilled into her, warm and quivering around my sensitive shaft as bliss flooded my veins and nerves.

I let go of her neck, my mouth lifting with my small remaining energy to press soft kisses to the harsh red marks bedded into her skin. “Fuck,” I groaned, my head dropping against her neck, smelling our sweat and sex mixed. “I’m exhausted.”

Ash’s raspy grumble vibrated over my shoulder, her chin resting against it, head lolling into mine. “Let’s sleep here,”

I chuckled. “On a dresser?”

Ash attempted a meek shrug. “I have slept in worse places.”

“Not anymore.” With intangible energy, I slid my hands beneath her wet thighs, the slickness helping me slide under before I lifted her from the dresser, her dead weight collapsing against my chest. My legs and ass ached as I dragged us over to the bed before weakly dropping us both on top.

The bed bounced, and Ash couldn’t even lift a finger as I tucked her into my side, dragging the thin sheet over the top of us, both sticky, and hot, and wet together. “From now on, your place is right here.”

“Uh-huh,” Ash grumbled, exhaustion closing her eyes.

“And mine,” I grumbled, pulling her leg higher on my hip as I shifted my hips forward and sunk my dick home. Ash groaned at the sensation, her back arching weakly into my stomach. “Is here.”

Whether Ash wanted to argue or not remained a mystery as she relaxed against my body and I knew sleep had already taken her, her warmth tied tightly into mine. I pressed a kiss to the crook of her neck, the bite mark— my mark —already darkening with a bruise.

The darkness inside purred at the sight, begging to make more. To cover her in my marks until there was no confusion about who she belonged to. I held back. As much as Ash didn’t want to admit it, she trusted me now, but it wasn’t enough. Not yet. Even so, both she and I knew that it was only a matter of time until she accepted the inevitable truth.

She was mine.

D arkness stirred, rousing me from my sleep. Cool air caressed my exposed skin, my sheets hanging around my waist. I stretched out, my longs limbs able to spread out on either side of me; normally a good thing, until you remembered you had buried your dick in a woman before you fell asleep. A woman who had vanished.

I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Bleary eyes peeked open as I surveyed the endless night of my room. As my vision adjusted, furniture and doorways becoming more apparently until I spotted the figure standing by the window, face washed in pale moonlight, skin glistening with an ethereal glow. A haunting melancholy clung to her as the light softened her more mature features, youth seeping back into her face. For a moment, it wasn’t the beautifully strong but scarred woman I knew, but a girl, lost and confused, standing in my room.

“Sorry,” Ash whispered, not turning from the window. “I did not mean to wake you.”

A slight rasp clung to her voice. Knowing it was from screaming my name, my dick twitched beneath the sheets. But it was the softness and subtle vulnerability that kept me still. Her words faded into silence. Unable to fill the void, I just stared at her.

One of my shirts hung from her narrow shoulders, the hem reaching her midthigh, buttoned just enough to cover the soft hills of her breasts. The deep maroon color bleached her even further; she looked like an ephemeral spirit, one strong wind from dissipating.

Not liking the uncomfortable mental imagery, I rose out of bed, casting the sheets aside, and padding barefoot the small distance to where she stood.

Her thin frame was easily enclosed by my arms, my chin resting over her shoulder as I tugged her back into my chest, breathing in her scent. It hadn’t been long since we’d fallen asleep, and the smell of sex clung to her skin. Still, Ash was cool to the touch, and I wondered if she had even slept at all and that watching her fall asleep had been an illusion.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, those words foreign on my tongue.

Ash jerked in my grasp. I couldn’t see her face but felt her lips brush my forehead as she tried to turn and look at me. I kept my nose buried against the small groove where her neck and shoulder met, enjoying the small comfort it brought.

“Why are you sorry?” Ash blurted out. “Can you even be sorry?” There was no malice in her question, purely confusion and curiosity.

“I’m not sure.” I shrugged. “But I wished I’d been able to make you forget longer.”

Even if I could never be sure of my own emotions, however small and infrequent they were, it was easy to see the loneliness that radiated off Ash. It was like thick waves, strong and eternal, and no matter what I did, I’d never be able to stop them washing up over the shore. This was not a battle I could fight for her, no matter how much I wanted to.

Ash’s shoulders sagged, and she leaned back into my chest. “It’s okay,” she sighed. “I cannot run away forever.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I grumbled, coming up for air from the reprieve of the skin thawing under my touch.

“Is that your therapist talking?”

“I went for several years; it’d be impossible for me not to pick up on a thing or two,” I admitted. Although therapy had done little to change me over the years, that didn’t mean it had no use. There was always something to take from any experience. The techniques that didn’t work on me would work on others. I could credit most of my business success to what I’d learned from the good doctor.

Ash dropped a begrudging sigh, her head shaking, tussling her long hair. “Trust you to weaponize tools meant to help you.”

“Nothing is good or bad inherently. It’s how you use it.”

“Did you get that line from therapy, too?”

“Philosophy, actually. I took a class in college.”

Ash’s brows rose. “Wow. There really is no end of your surprises, Pandora.”

“Enough about me.” I pushed my face back into her neck, not liking the cool air on my skin. My tongue darted out to taste her, small kisses at first, but soon changing into light nips. Small shivers sprinted down her spine, her naked thighs pressed back against my half-mast. “Tell me.”

“About what?” Ash shrugged, playing the fool.

I bit a little harder, and she gasped. “You know what I’m asking,” I grumbled, lapping my tongue back over the small red mark. My earlier mark had already begun to purple beneath her skin, and I held back the carnal desire to recreate it. “What did you two talk about?”

“Nothing to be surprised about.” Ash shrugged, her shoulders sinking further, head tipping back to rest over my shoulder, glassy eyes looking up at the ceiling as if answers to all might be scribbled into the plaster. “Anna doesn’t care about me anymore. Nor should she.”

I frowned, my mouth pausing.

“I just …” Ash fumbled through the words, and her voice began to thicken. “I know I betrayed her. She did everything for me, and I threw it back in her face.” Emotion raised its ugly head inside of her, and Ash began to tug away from me. I held tighter. “I expected to be hated. To be punched the moment she saw my face. To be chased away if I ever came near her. I expected her fire and her fury. But I had not expected … nothing.”

I curled my arms tighter, but it couldn’t stifle her soft sob.

Ash was not wrong. Anna and Ash had gone through hell together with only each other to rely on for so many years that when Ash had chosen to leave and never come back, Anna had crumbled in her own way. When once they had been each other’s lifeline, they had soon turned to poison. One that didn’t destroy them right away, but as time passed, it sank deeper and deeper into their veins until slowly, piece by piece, they eroded like limestone crumbling into the ocean.

“You might be right,” I said, not one to lie or sugarcoat the truth. “But there’s another possibility.”

Ash turned in my arms, her cheeks damp with quiet tears glistening in the moonlight. Her eyes searched mine with desperation, the emotions she had tried to bottle up rushing up to the surface and spilling over the edge.

“Caring is time. It’s energy. It’s an investment,” I explained, reaching up to cup her cheek, my thumb gently rubbing away the damp trails. “I’ve spent my life watching others, learning what they do and why they do it. Over those years, the biggest lie people ever tell is that something so profound in their lives has become nothing to them. Even after being hurt, betrayed, and left broken, there was still a part of them that would never let that one thing go. To feel absolutely nothing for something they once loved … is a fallacy.”

“But she—”

“Sometimes people pretend.” I reached up with my other hand, both now cupping her small, sad face, eyes wide, and even without her glasses, her whole focus was locked firmly on me. “It’s easier to pretend it doesn’t hurt, but deep wounds don’t disappear.” I slid my fingers down from her face, tracing the lines of her jaw and neck, pushing aside the delicate silk and revealing one of the shiny pink scars on her shoulder. “They scar.”

I leaned down, kissing the mark, sending a ripple down Ash’s body. My head lulled back onto her shoulder, enjoying the steady rise and fall of her shoulders, her face pressed into my neck, warm breaths rolling over my nape as her emotions settled.

Eventually, Ash reached up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, nuzzling closer into my skin. So close, I almost missed her mumbled words. “You should send your therapist flowers.”

I held back my laugh, sliding my hands under her thighs and lifting her into my arms. She stayed cradled against my neck, arms clinging tightly.

I brought her to bed, laying on my back as she stayed fixed around my shoulders, curled across my chest like a housecat clinging for warmth. My hands rested over her, easily holding her in place as my mind drifted away. Sleep called for me, but I knew it wouldn’t for Ash. I’d be surprised if she slept any that night, but at least it’d be a night with no more tears.