Chapter 3

3

A s Quinn stepped into the backyard of her childhood home, a wave of nostalgia washed over her. The late September sun cast a warm glow on the familiar surroundings, from the old oak tree she used to climb as a kid to the weathered picnic table where she'd shared countless summer meals with her family. Today, the yard had been transformed for her mother's 50th birthday party, with a large white tent sheltering elegantly set tables and colorful balloons swaying in the gentle breeze.

Luckily, it was a mild September day, and they could enjoy being outside in the sunshine. The air was filled with the mouthwatering aroma of barbecued food, and Quinn's stomach rumbled in response. Her father had made a last minute decision to fire up the grill when he'd seen the forecast. Inside the house, a buffet had been set up by a catering company with all of her mother's favorite dishes.

Quinn stood on the deck, surveying it all, hoping that everything went well today. Her mother was extremely laid back, but Quinn knew that she'd been looking forward to today since her last birthday. She'd taken on the approach of embracing her fiftieth birthday rather than shying away from it.

Quinn just had to hope that no one would pay her any attention. That was the last thing she wanted. She knew the chances of anything happening were slim. Just about everyone here had known Quinn since she was a kid, but it could still happen, so she'd chosen a pair of comfortable jeans and a fitted navy sweater, trying to blend in. She left her hair to fall in loose waves that fell across her shoulders, and put on the lightest layer of makeup.

She'd kept herself busy, making sure her father had enough burger buns, and that the ice bucket outside was full of beer. But she'd run out of jobs, and found herself scanning the crowd. Her gaze landed on Rebecca, her mother's best friend, standing beneath the tent with a woman Quinn didn't recognize. The woman next to Rebecca leaned in close, her hand resting on Rebecca's arm with an easy intimacy.

Almost without realizing it, Quinn found herself drifting towards her younger sister, Reagan, who was uncorking another bottle of wine.

"Hey, Rae," Quinn said softly, sidling up beside her. "Who's that with Rebecca?"

Reagan glanced up, her gaze following Quinn's. "Oh, that's Chloe. I just met her like an hour ago, but I think she's Rebecca's girlfriend," she replied nonchalantly as she twisted the screw and eased the cork out.

Quinn felt as if the world had tilted on its axis. "Her what?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Her girlfriend," Reagan repeated, giving Quinn a curious look. "Didn't Mom tell you? Rebecca got divorced a few years ago and came out. I knew she'd been dating, but this is the first time I've seen her with someone."

Quinn shook her head, her mind reeling, her palms suddenly clammy. Rebecca and Anthony had gotten a divorce? Quinn always thought of them as a solid couple. "Did you say Rebecca came out?"

"Yeah." Reagan had a strange look on her face. "How did you not know this? Mom's been her biggest fan. I mean, she always was, but she's been so proud of her. She'd play matchmaker if she could, but I don't think she knows anyone else that's gay."

"I had no idea." It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a whole new facet of the woman she thought she knew so well.

As Quinn watched Rebecca and Chloe together, she felt a flurry of emotions she couldn't quite untangle. Shock, certainly, but also curiosity. When had Rebecca figured out that she was into women? Had she known for years? Had she met someone while she was married that made her realize?

Quinn leaned against the deck railing. When she'd talked to Piper the other day, she'd been so caught up in the fact that she'd somehow missed this. How could she not know something so fundamental about herself? She felt like she'd wasted so much time. But she was just thirty. Rebecca was right around her mother's age, and she'd only come up a few years ago?

Quinn felt a strange sense of calm as she watched Rebecca. The copper and golden streaks that ran through her dark hair caught in the sunlight, and she laughed at something Chloe said. Quinn had spent the last few days trying to come to terms with the idea that she'd been living a lie, but she hadn't been. She hadn't known. She hadn't hid anything. She just hadn't realized. And she wasn't the only one apparently.

She inhaled a deep breath. When she thought of all the emotions she'd felt these last few days, she couldn't begin to imagine what Rebecca must have gone through. She had a husband. A great guy who everyone loved. She was in her forties when she came out. The only thing that Quinn could think about was how brave she'd been. What Rebecca did took guts, especially here, in their small town. Quinn couldn't even remember knowing anyone who was gay when she'd grown up here. There'd been no one.

Quinn left the deck and stepped back inside. The kitchen was a hub of activity, with catering staff bustling about and refilling drinks. Quinn barely noticed them, her attention focused inward as she reached for a wine glass and the open bottle of Chardonnay on the counter.

As she poured herself a generous glass, a man's voice came from behind her. "You're Quinn Fallon." She could hear the smugness in his voice.

Quinn turned, her heart sinking as she registered the eager expression on the young man's face. He was wearing the catering company's uniform, his name tag identifying him as "Brad."

She forced a polite smile, the one she'd perfected over years in the spotlight. "Yes, that's me."

Brad's eyes widened, his grin stretching from ear to ear. "Wow, I can't believe it's really you! I'm such a huge fan. I've seen all your movies."

Quinn took a sip of her wine, bracing herself for what she knew was coming. "Thank you."

But Brad wasn't done. He pulled out his phone, his hands shaking with excitement. "Could I get a picture with you? My friends will never believe this!"

Quinn's stomach churned. This was the part she hated, the part where her personal space and boundaries ceased to matter. She glanced around the kitchen, hoping for an escape, but the other staff members were studiously avoiding her gaze.

"I'm sorry, but I don't really feel comfortable with photos right now," she said, trying to keep her tone light.

"Oh, come on, just one quick selfie! It'll only take a second."

Before Quinn could protest further, he was at her side, his arm snaking around her shoulders as he held up his phone. Quinn stiffened, the unwanted contact sending a shiver down her spine.

"Brad, please," she said, trying to step away. "I really don't?—"

But he wasn't listening. He pulled her closer, his cheek pressing against hers as he angled the phone. Quinn could smell his cologne, sharp and cloying. This was the moment where things could go from uncomfortable to dangerous, where a fan's enthusiasm could turn into something darker.

She was just about to resort to more forceful measures when a familiar voice cut through the tension. She hadn't heard that voice in years, but she'd recognize it anywhere.

"Quinn, there you are!"

Relief flooded through her as she saw Rebecca entering the kitchen, her eyes taking in the scene with a single glance. She moved towards them, her smile warm but her gaze sharp.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said, smoothly inserting herself between Quinn and Brad, "but your mother is looking for you, Quinn. Something about a special toast."

It was a lie, Quinn knew, but she seized on it gratefully. "Of course," she said, setting down her wine glass. "I'll be right there."

She could feel Brad's disappointment, but he finally let his arm drop, stepping back.

Rebecca's hand was on Quinn's back, a gentle but insistent pressure guiding her out of the kitchen. As the door swung shut behind them, Quinn let out a shaky breath.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"I'm just glad I chose that moment to come inside." Rebecca steered them toward a quiet corner on the deck. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. It happens all the time. I should have handled that better, but I don't know. He just caught me off guard."

Rebecca's gaze lingered on her. "You shouldn't have to handle situations like that. I wish people would remember that actresses, athletes, whoever are just like them. That you deserve the same respect. The same privacy."

Quinn had always thought her mother was lucky to have a friend like Rebecca, and she'd always been supportive of both Quinn and Reagan, going to sports games or high school plays in Quinn's case, but right now, she was reminded of that more than ever.

"I know," Quinn agreed, "but unfortunately it's never going to be like that."

Behind Rebecca, Quinn watched as Chloe climbed the stairs to the deck. She was probably in her late thirties, and she had a confidence about her that Quinn immediately envied. She tucked a piece of chestnut brown hair behind her ear as she reached the top step, revealing two maybe three earrings. Quinn couldn't tell from here, and then she spotted a tattoo that was barely visible beneath the sleeve of her long-sleeved shirt.

Quinn was about to excuse herself, assuming Chloe was looking for Rebecca, but before she could, she met Chloe's eyes, and Quinn knew that expression. It always started with a double take and then when the recognition hit them, their eyes widened slightly and more often than not their mouths fell open. And that was exactly what was happening right now.

Chloe strode across the deck. "I don't believe it. You're Quinn Fallon," she said in a rush. "I'm such a big fan. I know probably everyone says that, but I really am. I've seen all your movies, and can I just say, I don't think I've ever been more excited for a movie to come out. When I heard you were playing a queer character… Representation is so important, and I know a lot of people don't agree with straight people playing queer characters, but I don't mind. As long as the actress takes that responsibility on with respect and care, who am I to judge?"

Chloe inhaled a deep breath, and she glanced at Rebecca who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there, her cheeks a deep shade of red now.

"Sorry," Chloe said. "I just word vomited there. I'm so sorry."

Rebecca pressed her lips together. "Quinn, this is Chloe. Chloe, this is Quinn. Sarah's daughter," she said those last words with a little more emphasis as she stared at Chloe.

"Oh." Chloe blinked a few times before she nodded.

"Nice to meet you," Quinn offered as she leaned back against the railing, hoping that Chloe would reel it in now.

"You-you too." Chloe at least looked embarrassed now. "Anyway, I was on my way inside to find a bathroom."

"Go through the kitchen and down the hall. It's the last door on the right," Quinn said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Thanks," Chloe said before heading inside.

"I'm so sorry," Rebecca said with a sigh.

"It's okay. Maybe a little funny? You know, with the timing. You're there defending my right to privacy and then your girlfriend comes along and jumps right in."

Rebecca shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips. "She's not my girlfriend. Well, we're dating? I guess? I don't know. It's new. She's young." Her voice trailed off.

"I had no idea," Quinn said as she met Rebecca's eyes. "But congratulations? Is that a weird thing to say?"

Rebecca laughed. "It might be, but I'll take it. I took the long way around, but I got there in the end, and now I'm nearly fifty and dating women in their thirties. Maybe, I'm just having a mid-life crisis," she joked.

"Well, whatever it is, it took a lot of guts. I'm sure it wasn't easy to tell your husband. To start over."

Rebecca looked out over the garden, and Quinn followed her gaze. "I don't know what I would have done without your mother. She was the first person I told. And I don't think I'd ever been as scared in my life."

"Did you really think you'd lose her as a friend?"

Rebecca shrugged. "Maybe not entirely. But I thought that there was no way that it wouldn't change things. We did so many things together, the four of us. That dynamic was going to change once I told Anthony, and I don't know. I had to tell her that I'd basically been lying to her for years. I'd known that I was attracted to women since I was maybe twenty-four, twenty-five. So even if she was okay with me being gay, there was still this deception, I guess. But obviously, I had nothing to worry about. She didn't blink. She was even ready to be my wingwoman if I wanted to her to."

"What?" Quinn asked with a smile.

"I know. And for the record, I never did ask her."

Just then, her mother appeared at the top of the steps. Quinn waved her over, and her mother slid her arm around Rebecca's waist.

"We were just talking about you," Rebecca said.

"All good?"

"How could it not be?" Quinn answered with a smile, wishing she'd made more time for family gatherings like this over the years. She felt like her twenties had been lost to California, especially those first five years after she'd left. She'd taken any and every job that had come her way, and it meant barely making it back for one holiday a year.

And as she watched Rebecca and her mother joke about something, she felt this sense of calm wash over her. When she was ready, she knew that she could come out to her mother and not have to worry about being accepted. She knew Reagan wouldn't care, and she was just about certain that her father wouldn't either, and when she thought about Piper, she was so grateful that she'd never have to worry about being disowned by her own parents.

Quinn had been lucky in so many ways, with the way her career took off, with how amazing her family was, and she just had to hope that when she was ready to go public with this that she'd have that same luck with her.