Chapter 16

16

R ebecca carried her coffee over to the table in the corner of the room beside the fire. Sarah was already there, and there was a strange look on her face that Rebecca couldn't quite figure out.

"Hey," Rebecca said as she sat down.

"Hi. Thanks for coming on such short notice."

"I'll take any excuse to get away from my computer in the middle of the day," Rebecca said with a smile. "What's going on?"

"I finally know what was going on with Quinn." Sarah's hands cradled the gray mug, her eyes focusing on something behind Rebecca. "You'll never believe it," she said, a smile coming to her lips. "But she came out to us last night. To all of us."

Rebecca just stared at her friend.

"I know. That was my reaction," Sarah said as she pushed a piece of blond hair behind her ear. "I still can't believe it. I mean, looking back… She was a bit of a tomboy, but that doesn't mean anything. And she didn't really have any boyfriends in high school, but then when she went to Los Angeles, she was never single for more than a few weeks."

Rebecca had to bite back her smile. Quinn had come out not just to Sarah, but to the whole family by the sounds of it. When Rebecca thought back to that first night when Quinn had told her about what had happened while she was filming her latest movie, the inner turmoil… And now she'd come out to her family? It was fast, and it was brave, and Rebecca wanted to go over there right now and tell her that.

"Can you believe it?" Sarah asked. "Maybe you can. Your gaydar's pretty good, isn't it?"

"I guess it is," Rebecca said, her voice a little too high-pitched. She cleared her throat. "Wow. That's… I'm really happy for her."

"Me too. And relieved. She seems so much lighter now. Like a weight has been lifted." Sarah's smile softened. "She's been through so much, you know, with the pressure of Hollywood and everything. I'm just glad she's finally comfortable being herself."

Rebecca nodded, unable to meet Sarah's gaze. "Me too."

Rebecca's heart swelled with pride as Sarah shared the news of Quinn's coming out, but as Sarah's words hung in the air between them, the reality of their situation settled heavily in Rebecca's chest. The memory of that night with Quinn, the softness of her lips, the electricity that had coursed through Rebecca's veins... It had been a moment of weakness, a lapse in judgment that couldn't be repeated.

Rebecca could live with being Quinn's first real kiss, a stepping stone on her path to self-discovery. But she couldn't be her first girlfriend. The mere thought of it made her stomach sink with guilt.

And then there was Sarah's invitation to Thanksgiving. How would that even work if Rebecca showed up as Quinn's girlfriend? Sarah and Jeff were the most accepting, loving parents Rebecca knew, but this... This was too much to ask of them. To expect them to welcome their daughter's much older girlfriend – Sarah's best friend – into their home, to their family table...

No, Rebecca couldn't do that to them. She couldn't do that to herself. As much as it pained her, as much as every fiber of her being longed to explore this connection with Quinn, Rebecca knew what she had to do.

She had to end things before they went any further. She had to make it clear to Quinn that, while she would always be there for her as a friend, anything more was off the table.