Chapter 1

1

Q uinn Fallon gently guided her rental car down the familiar winding road. She turned down her upbeat playlist that she'd been distracting herself with for the last two hours as she looked out for the house she'd rented. The leaves were just beginning to hint at the change of seasons, with subtle splashes of gold and orange peeking out amidst the sea of green.

As Quinn drove deeper into the forest, she could feel herself getting restless again. She hadn't told anyone other than her manager that she was leaving. Even her parents didn't know she was staying after her mother turned fifty next week. They just thought Quinn was here for her birthday, but right now, she had no idea how or when she'd go back to her home tucked away in the Hollywood hills, never mind when she would act again.

The lake came into view, its surface a perfect mirror reflecting the partly cloudy sky above. The sight took Quinn's breath away, even after all these years. She was so lucky she'd grown up here, and it was hard to believe how much her life had changed since she'd left here nine years ago.

She turned onto a gravel driveway as she spotted the olive green door of her rental house. This lake house, just a two- minute drive from her parents' place, would be her home for the next year.

Killing the engine, Quinn sat for a moment, letting her gaze roam over the structure. It was similar to her parents' place – weathered clapboard siding, a wide porch, shutters framing the windows – but with its own unique charm.

Quinn opened the car door and stepped out, inhaling deeply. The air was crisp and cool, tinged with the invigorating scent of pine and the fresh, clean smell of the nearby lake. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, the aromas surrounding her bringing back so many happy memories.

Her boots crunched softly on the gravel as she made her way to the trunk. Popping it open, she smiled wryly at her designer suitcases, so out of place in this rustic setting. As she lifted the first bag, a gentle breeze swept in from the lake, rustling the leaves and carrying with it the earthy scent of the forest towards her.

Quinn paused, bag in hand, and turned to face the lake. The breeze played with her hair, sending golden strands dancing across her vision. She brushed them aside, her gaze drawn to the tree line on the far shore. Even from this distance, she could see the patchwork of colors beginning to emerge – hints of amber and scarlet in the vast expanse of green.

Why didn't she make the time to come back here more often? She hadn't spent more than a day or two here since she'd left, mostly at Christmas, occasionally for Thanksgiving if she wasn't filming, and one year for the Fourth of July. If she wasn't in the middle of making a movie, she was promoting her last one, and in what little free time she did have, she was often supporting whatever guy she was dating or some of her friends at their movie premiers or going to some awards show. She knew she'd miss events while she was here, but she just had to get away, and she'd have to let her team do damage control and make up excuses for why she was suddenly unavailable.

The thought of her public persona sent a shiver through Quinn that had nothing to do with the chilly September air. Out here, surrounded by nature, the glitz and glamour of her Los Angeles life felt distant and somehow less real. Who was she, really, without the makeup and carefully cultivated image?

Quinn shook her head, pushing the existential questions aside for the moment. She had time to figure it all out. That's why she was here. She just needed some time and space to think, to breathe. To understand what the hell was going on with her.

As she turned back to the car to retrieve her second bag, Quinn's phone buzzed in her pocket. She fished it out, her heart skipping a beat when she saw Piper's name on the screen. For a moment, she considered ignoring the call. But Piper was her best friend, one of the few people in the industry she truly trusted. With a deep breath, Quinn swiped to accept the video call as she walked up the steps to the porch and followed it to the back of the house.

"Hey," Piper said with a smile. Her face was free of any makeup and her brown hair was tied back in a ponytail. Quinn could just about make out the sound of waves crashing into the shoreline in the distance. "Where are you? I thought you were between jobs."

Quinn ran a hand through her slightly tousled hair. In the small screen, she caught a glimpse of herself – cheeks flushed from the fresh air, eyes tired and uncertain. She hardly recognized the woman staring back at her.

"I'm in upstate New York," she said, her voice sounding strange to her own ears. "I rented a lake house. It's just a couple minutes from my parents' place. My mom's turning fifty next week."

Piper's brow furrowed. "Is she? I never would have guessed. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come up to the beach house for a few days, but maybe when you get back?"

Quinn bit her lip, her gaze drifting back to the lake. The gentle breeze sent soft ripples across its surface. "I think I'm going to stay out here for a while. I rented the house for a year."

Piper's mouth fell open. "A year? What kind of strings did you have to pull to clear your schedule like that? Maybe I need to change managers."

Quinn swallowed. "I didn't have anything lined up, and I knew I needed a break so…" She shrugged. "Here I am."

Piper didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Quinn, are you okay?"

Quinn pressed her lips together. How could she explain what she barely understood herself?

"Piper," she began, her voice barely above a whisper, "can I ask you something? Have you ever... felt anything when you kissed a guy on set?"

Leaves rustled beside her as a chipmunk scurried by.

"No."

Quinn's heart raced as she pressed on. "What about women?"

Again, Piper's response was immediate. "No. Why?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with implication. Quinn opened her mouth to respond, but the words wouldn't come. How could she explain the unexpected spark that had ignited during what should have been just another on-screen kiss? How could she describe the way it had shaken the very foundations of her identity?

Quinn turned away from the lake, her reflection in the glass door of the lake house catching her eye. She saw the uncertainty, the fear, and the confusion that she'd been trying to outrun. Piper's voice brought her back to the present.

"Quinn, talk to me. What's going on?" Piper's voice was soft, concerned.

Quinn took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. "I don't know." She started pacing, trying to collect her thoughts. "Maybe that was why I was so worried about taking on that role. I felt more nervous in the lead-up to filming than I ever have before." She paused, her gaze drifting over the lake. "I thought it was just guilt. Yet another straight woman playing a lesbian when there are plenty of queer actresses who would have killed for that part."

"Did something happen?"

Quinn swallowed hard. "When it came time for the kiss, I thought I'd be fine. It's just acting, right? Two straight women playing their parts. But then I looked into her eyes, and there was this… This spark." She shook her head as she spoke, still not quite believing that any of this had happened. "The way she touched my face… It felt electric. It was as if everything went quiet, and it was just the two of us in that moment." Quinn hesitated, trying to find the words. "It felt real, Piper. I know everyone on set said that we had this amazing chemistry, but there was a level of vulnerability that I didn't anticipate. I mean, I've kissed countless guys both on camera and off camera, and it always felt like… Okay. Nothing world-altering. But this time? I felt seen, like she was looking into parts of me that I've kept hidden. I know she was acting. And she did a fantastic job. But I know I wasn't. Not like she was. And now I feel sick with guilt."

"Quinn." Piper's voice was so soft. "I wish I could hug you right now."

"Me too." A tear streaked down her cheek before she could wipe it away.

"What happened after that?"

Quinn shrugged. "Nothing. Well, I somehow managed one more take, but I don't even remember it, and I'm pretty sure I messed up my lines. I was a nervous wreck by that point. I kept thinking, can she tell? Does she know that I felt something? We've never worked together before, and I doubt we ever will again."

"When did this happen?"

"A month ago."

Piper sighed. "Why didn't you call me?"

Quinn swiped at her eye as another tear threatened to fall. "I couldn't even think about it. I can barely think about it now."

"Do you think you're bi?"

Quinn sucked in a breath. "I think I've been so caught up feeling guilty and how the whole thing was so unprofessional that I haven't really processed what happened. But Piper… I felt more on that set than I ever have in my entire life," she said, her voice cracking.

"Aw, Quinn."

"How could I not know this about myself?"

Piper gave her this adorable, sad smile. "Not everybody figures it out when they're teenagers."

"I know, but…" Quinn exhaled. "It's not even like I'm actually attracted to this woman. It was… I think it was just that she was a woman." She stopped pacing. "Piper, I'm gay, aren't I?"

Piper's lips slid into a smile. "You know that's for you to figure out, but it does sound like it. Can I be the first to welcome you to the club?"

Quinn's hand went to her forehead. "How did I not know?"

Piper laughed softly. "It's really just hitting you now, isn't it?"

"I'm shaking," Quinn said out loud as she slid her hand away and held it out in front of her, her fingers trembling. "I'm actually shaking."

"It's okay," Piper said softly. "It's a lot to process. You just need time to figure things out."

Quinn eased herself into one of the Adirondack chairs, her legs suddenly weak. She thought back to high school, to her friends, to her teachers, but she came up with nothing. She hadn't been attracted to one of them.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, her mother's name on the screen, and a wave of nausea hit Quinn. "I'm going to have to come out." She'd said it to herself, momentarily forgetting that Piper was there.

Piper smiled. "Quinn, one step at a time."

"No, my mother's calling. I'm going over there for dinner. They're going to know that something's wrong."

"It's going to be fine. Just tell them you're burnt out. Don't say anything until you're ready to, okay? I highly doubt your parents are going to throw you out."

That snapped Quinn out of her spiral. "Shit. I'm sorry, Piper." She shook her head.

"It's okay. It happened. I survived. And I'm telling you that your family are not going to be anything like my parents were. Based on everything you've told me about them, it's just not going to happen."

"I know." Quinn took a deep breath. "I better call her back."

"Okay. Hey, I'm just as shocked as you are," Piper said with a smile. "But I'm so happy for you."

"I don't know what to think." She leaned back fully, resting her head against the wood. "I feel… Drunk or something."

"Wait til you fall in love."