Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

A fter the evening meal, Stellan joined the MacKay in his solar. As Anders, he could not turn down an opportunity to share a cup with his host. That was easy. Flirting with the clan's lasses, as Anders would certainly have been doing, was not something he was comfortable with, and not only because it didn't suit his personality. It also felt like betraying whatever was between him and Mariota. He couldn't put a name to it, but he could tell the heat between them also affected her when they were close, more so when they shared a look, no matter how brief the glance. Even now.

Did she feel she was betraying him with his twin? She must be confused, and it was his fault. Why hadn't he realized when he and Anders were concocting this mad scheme that Mariota would be caught in the middle, thinking she was now attracted to Anders. Would she fall for the man she thought was his brother and forget about him? Or would she figure out something wasn't quite right?

Should he tell her? Could he trust her not to betray him— even accidentally?

And given that, as Anders, he was here to represent Sutherland and to… possibly… be accepted as the betrothed husband to the MacKay's daughter and heir, Stellan could only sip the ale and do his best not to down it in one gulp.

"Yer da gave me a letter before we left Dunrobin. I've read it. It mostly concerns the proposed betrothal agreement," MacKay suddenly said.

Stellan choked back a swallow, fighting to keep the ale from shooting out his nose. He should have seen this coming. Stay sharp, he admonished himself.

"And?" He asked when he could get air past the burn in his throat and nose.

"Did yer brother ruin my lass?"

Stellan thanked whatever saints watched over him that he hadn't taken another mouthful of ale.

"What? Why would ye even think that? Mariota herself said she'd been treated kindly and with respect."

"A lass alone, coming upon a hunting party in the woods? I count her lucky no' to be dead."

So did Stellan. "She was never in any danger from us— from Sutherlands," Stellan said and mentally kicked himself for the slip. MacKay knew he, not Anders, had been the one to bring her back to Dunrobin.

"'Tis why yer brother isna here in yer place, aye? Because he already?—"

"Nay!" Stellan had heard enough of this line of inquiry. "Yer daughter is unharmed, at least by any Sutherland. If ye are so intent on insisting she has been ruined, perhaps ye should force a confession out of Alber. He beat her, he tried to smother her the last time he got his hands on her. Perhaps he did more, and she hasna wanted to admit to it."

"He hasna confessed to such as that. If he had, he'd be dead."

Maybe it was the ale, but Stellan hated the way this man treated his daughter, and found himself unable to hold back. "Would he? Ye seem to have done little to protect her or punish him up to now."

MacKay rose, and Stellan saw his life about to end, right here, right now. If he could not disarm the older man, he'd be sunk. He dared not kill him. Either way, Sutherland would be furious when he discovered which twin had come here, and MacKay might have the decency to be appalled at discovering he'd killed the Sutherland heir. But maybe not.

Instead of pulling a blade, MacKay walked toward the hearth, his back to Stellan.

"I've done what I must. What I promised long ago." He paused, then added more quietly, "Perhaps that debt is long since paid."

"What do ye mean?" Stellan couldn't wait to hear the man justify his daughter's treatment.

"None of yer affair." He stared into the flames for a moment longer, then turned back to Stellan. "Yer da left open the idea of the betrothal. He offered ye, but didna make it binding, and made it clear Mariota's situation here disturbed him. If her husband couldna protect her here, if he couldna take a significant role along with her, or if it was discovered she'd been ruined by her attacker, he'd withdraw his consent."

So Da had tossed the decision back to MacKay. And given Anders a way out if he didn't think the potential alliance would benefit Sutherland. That surprised Stellan, but pleased him, too, and demonstrated yet again how canny his father could be. Stellan waited, knowing the longer he remained silent, the more likely MacKay would feel the need to say more.

His patience was rewarded when MacKay turned away from the hearth and resumed his seat.

"Ye ken Domnhall holds Dingwall and has yet to return to Islay."

Stellan nodded.

"What do ye think that means?"

"He thinks his control of Ross is firm. He didna continue the fight at Harlaw because he made his point, and rather than lose more men— on both sides —he quit the field. That's my guess."

"I'll be glad to see him gone back to the isles. Friend or foe, he's a dangerous man."

"Ye supported him. Why would ye fash ?"

"Why would I no'? I've also fought against him."

"Ye ken— my brother fostered with him years ago." Stellan hesitated. He'd nearly said that he rather than his brother had fostered with Domnhall.

"I didna. What has he told ye about his time there?"

Stellan shrugged. What could he say that would not sound like first-hand knowledge? "Ye ken Domnhall controls many islands and coastal areas. Stellan spent most of his time at Finlaggan and didna travel with the laird. He has the same tales of training with weapons that any fostered son would share. If our da thought he'd spend most of his time learning to rule from Domnhall, he was disappointed in his expectation."

MacKay huffed. "A shame, that, I suppose."

"I would be surprised to hear ye say that, save that ye seek an alliance with Sutherland."

MacKay nodded. "I did. I might yet again. Go to yer rest, lad. I've much to consider. Leave me to it."

Stellan breathed a sigh of relief and stood. He might not have to deal with the consequences of a betrothal as Anders after all. "Good night to ye, then."

MacKay nodded again, his gaze locked in the distance, already distracted by whatever thoughts plagued him. Stellan left him to it.

He missed Anders. At home, after an interview with their father, they would sit by the fire in the great hall and talk. He hadn't even been able to bring Tormund among the men with him. He was Stellan's friend. Anders would not have chosen him as a companion for something like this. Mariota was confined to her chamber, and though her father's order had seemed punitive at first, Stellan was beginning to suspect it was truly meant to protect her. He didn't see Seamus, but was gratified to see the rest of the Sutherlands bedded down near the stairs, along with a few MacKays he recognized. Stellan nodded to them, passed through them and climbed the stairs, headed to his chamber.

A door swung open as he approached and Mariota leaned out.

Mariota had been waiting for Anders to come upstairs to his chamber, listening and watching from her door. She chafed at her confinement, even though they'd arrived home only hours before. She'd opened the door just enough to see out toward the stairs, but slight enough that she could slam it shut and lock it if Alber appeared.

She opened it fully when she saw Anders and stepped out into the hallway. She said his name softly. "I'm happy to see ye."

"And I ye, lass. But ye shouldna be out of yer chamber. What will yer da say?"

"I willna tell him. Will ye?"

"Nay, of course, nay. Can I get something for ye? What do ye need?"

Her face heated. She needed him. Or did she? Was she simply lonely? Or did she miss his twin and hope Anders could stand in for him? "Just someone to talk to," she admitted. "I dinna like being closed in."

"Like yer hawk," Anders said.

She tilted her head as a memory swamped her. She'd said much the same to Stellan days ago when they went riding along the firth. Maybe he'd mentioned her comment to Anders. Aye, that had to be the reason she felt this frisson of awareness spiraling through her chest.

"Aye, like Valkyrie." She glanced aside at her open door, then leaned back against the hallway wall behind her and crossed her arms. "This isna the best place for a conversation. Would ye come in?" She knew how he would answer before he opened his mouth, but she'd felt she had to try.

"Nay, lass, no' unless ye want to skip the betrothal and be wed in the morning."

The idea held a certain appeal, and if Anders' elder brother stood before her, she'd be tempted to grab his hand and pull him into her chamber, but nay, not this brother. Not yet. She would not be forced to wed someone when she was interested in another. She wanted Stellan, not Anders, despite the problems that would cause. Should she settle for Anders, knowing Stellan was out of reach? Not if she could help it. Not yet. She hoped not ever.

But something about Anders seemed different. Perhaps she was too tired to judge but he seemed more Stellan-like, more reserved, and the thrum of her blood in her ears told her something had changed. This, though, was not the time to try to understand what. "Ye are right. I'm sorry for suggesting it. Ye must be as tired as I. Dinna let me keep ye from yer rest."

"Good night then, Mariota," he told her.

On impulse, she reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand. Heat flared in his eyes and found an answer in her body— an answer she didn't expect. The limpid fullness low in her belly spread throughout her blood, stealing her will to move. Who was this? "Ye…?"

He shook his head and stepped back. "Ye are tired, lass. Ye need to rest. Good night."

He walked away.

She let him. She had to. She was too shocked to move. Was this Anders? Or Stellan? If this was Anders, how had she not felt the heat that just flared between them before now? The heat she thought she only felt with Stellan? The twins looked so much alike, could she be attracted to both of them?

She wrapped her arms around her middle. Nay, they were not alike, not really. Anders was more free, more jovial. Stellan was more quiet, solemn, duty-bound and… Stellan fired her blood and made her toes curl in her slippers. Could this be Stellan in truth, and not Anders as he claimed? Mariota collapsed against the wall. Now what should she do?

After a restless night, on the way to break her fast, Mariota saw Seamus and decided she needed to talk to him. With the friendship that seemed to be growing between him and Anders, perhaps Anders had let something slip that would help her decide which Sutherland son she was dealing with.

Even if her suspicions were unfounded, Seamus would know more about MacKay, including things she wasn't privy to. She wanted his counsel. But when he saw her, he avoided her. Was he still angry with her that he remained on the night shift because of her? She told herself if he'd been on guard all night after traveling all day, and was just coming in to eat and rest, he would not be fit company for any lass. She took her seat and watched to see where he went. The other side of the great hall, of course. He really did not want to talk to her. She'd see about that— later. She knew him well enough to know she'd get no cooperation from him now. Tired or angry, he'd be in no mood to answer her questions.

Instead, she focused on her meal, then went outside. Her da would not approve, but the morning had dawned clear and warm. She did not want to miss a day like this shut away in her chamber. Neither, she decided, would Valkyrie. Two of the Sutherlands exited the keep behind her. Ah, her guards had found her. She stopped them and prevailed upon them to escort her to the mews, then outside the gate to let Valkyrie fly.

"Are ye certain ye should?" one asked.

"I am. But to appease my da, I need a guard to go with me," she said, doing her best to look pitiable. "Even just to fly Valkyrie in the glen outside the gates, I canna go alone." Even though she'd been tempted to try.

The two men regarded each other and the one who hadn't spoken shrugged. "Very well. Let me advise Anders and we'll go with ye."

"I'll go to the mews and fetch my hawk," she said.

The first Sutherland nodded. "I'll stay with ye," he said. "Anders warned us the danger to ye lives inside the keep as well as out."

"Thank ye both," Mariota added before she turned for the mews, her escort on her heels.

The second man appeared a few minutes later with Anders.

"Lass, ye try yer da's patience," he told her.

"Nay half so much as he has tried mine," she retorted as Valkyrie hopped onto her leather-gloved fist and accepted the hood. "'Tisna good to keep hunting hawks too long in the mews."

"She only arrived home yesterday."

"I dinna care. We need to fly free." Had she really said "we"? Aye, she had.

Anders choked at that, then sighed. "Come along then. We'll nay ride. Just walk outside the gates and loose her. My men will come with us."

Mariota knew when to accept a bargain. "Very well." She'd be well guarded, close to the keep's gates, and chances were good Alber still slept. She would be safe from him for hours yet. She crossed the bailey with her entourage, curious to see if, even with Anders' men behind them, she could get close enough to him to discover whether the heat she'd felt last night had been real and would flare again. There were too many people moving about in the bailey, but they were intent on their own tasks. Outside the gates, the guards' attention would be on the area around them every moment, including on her and Anders. It was now or never. Anders had caught up and walked on her side opposite Valkyrie. She flexed her wrists, a move certain to cause Valkyrie to spread her wings and shift her feet. That let Mariota feign a stumble into Anders' shoulder.

He did as she'd hoped and reached out to steady her. One arm went around her waist and pulled her closer to him, the other reached between Valkyrie and her face, as if concerned that her hawk would somehow injure her.

The heat built faster than an oil-fed fire between them. His scent filled her nose and made her mouth water. Secure in his embrace, she wanted to lay her head on his shoulder and stay there, but as soon as his men caught up, he released her.

"Steady, there, lass," he admonished, but the heat in his gaze was unmistakable.

"Thank ye for catching me," she said, loud enough for their followers to hear. "I dinna ken what tripped me," she added, twisting around to look at the ground behind them, then shrugged. "Well, let's go," she said to the Sutherlands behind them, turned and resumed walking toward the gates.

"Where do ye think ye are going?"

Mariota groaned. Seamus had come outside, and she knew that tone of voice. She'd been wise to keep her distance in the great hall. But she had no hope of avoiding him now. Had he seen Anders' arm around her? She forced a smile that she didn't feel, turned and lifted the fist where Valkyrie perched. "Just outside the gate to let Valkyrie fly," she said sweetly. "Would ye like to join us?"

Beside her, Anders snorted softly.

"Damn it, Mari. Aye, I will. Yer da has already sentenced me to night watch. What else can he do to me?"

"Banishment?" Anders muttered.

So, Anders wasn't eager to have Seamus along with them, either. Was he jealous? They'd seemed to forge a bond on the way back to MacKay.

Mariota ignored the tension between the two men and continued out the open gate. The Sutherlands spread out around her. Anders moved to the other side of the gate as if he needed space from her, and took up his post there.

Seamus stayed at her side.

"Why are ye so determined to challenge yer da?" He kept his voice low, but she could hear the anger in it.

"If he only respects strength, I must be strong and challenge him," she told him as she removed Valkyrie's hood, loosed the jesses, and tossed the hawk skyward. She turned to face Seamus.

"So was leaving in the middle of the night yer idea of strong and determined?"

"At the time, aye, it was. I saw no alternative if I was going to stay alive."

"Alber would never?— "

"He spread his hand over my face to keep me from breathing— until I did my best to smash his cods. What did ye expect me to do when Da didna bother to see if I still lived?"

"Climbing out yer window was a childish, dangerous stunt, Mari. How do ye think anyone will accept ye as laird if ye use judgement that poor?"

His words hurt, but angered her, as well. "Poor? I couldna count on the MacKay to protect his own heir. So I took my protection into my own hands. I'd say it worked out well." She gestured toward the Sutherland men arrayed at a distance around them, but didn't let her gaze linger on Anders. "Would ye nay agree?"

"Ye were lucky, lass."

"Aye, I was. I ken that."

He huffed out a breath. "Ye have friends and supporters here among MacKays. Ye didna need to bring Sutherlands back and rub yer da's face in their presence. And ours."

Seamus could always make her think twice. But not about this. "I'm sorry ye are hurt by their presence, but ye are wrong. I needed exactly that to break through Da's indifference. And it seems to be working."

"For yer sake, Mari, I hope so."

She turned away from him. Valkyrie stooped on a hapless coney but Mariota didn't signal for her hawk to bring the kill to her. She'd let her have this one, and the next would go to Cook. Just like she'd let her da keep her confined— within limits —but in the end, she would be laird and if her da hadn't done it, she would eliminate the threat Alber posed, one way or the other. Eventually. She watched as Valkyrie tore into the coney, doing as instinct drove her to do.

Mariota glanced toward Anders, recalling the instinctive heat that flared between them— and between her and his brother. Did she really want the responsibility she was destined to inherit? At times like this, wrestling with her da for control of her own life, she wasn't sure if she wanted to be in charge of the clan, or just herself. If she wanted either Sutherland twin, or just Stellan. With Anders by her side, she could bear the future laid out for her. But if what she felt with him was truly only an echo of what she felt with Stellan, she would have to give up her destined future.

Even before she met the Sutherlands, she'd had doubts. There were times when the idea of abdicating attracted her, as she'd once told Stellan. Now, that idea was gaining prominence.

Had her notion of running to Inverness or Sterling been more hopeful or utterly foolish? Inverness was close, but perhaps too close. Easily within her father's reach. And they'd heard Domnhall had done a great deal of damage there last summer before moving on toward Aberdeen. Besides, where would she live in that town with a hawk? Sterling would have been a better choice if the court was there. Surely they had a mews and hunting birds. She would be farther from home and less easily retrieved if she could find a patron at court to protect her.

She decided she was being foolish. A lass alone? She'd already risked too much when she left MacKay the first time, though fortune had smiled on her when she met the Sutherlands. She couldn't count on such good fortune again.

In any case, she was smart enough not to do anything else rash. She'd made headway with her da. She had finally forced him to pay attention to her. More than that, he was forced to bargain with her. His anger and irritation were far better than him refusing to deal with her and locking her away, out of sight. She'd keep working on him, keep her guard up against Alber, and let the chaos in her mind and in her life play out until she saw a clear path. One that made sense for her, for the clan, for the Sutherland twins, and even Seamus, as well. That was a lot to take on her shoulders, but her da had placed much of it there, with more to come if or when she did become the MacKay laird. The rest, she accepted. She could make sense of all of this. She would.