Chapter Sixteen

The dawn light steadily grew, filtering through the sheer curtains hanging on the window. Keres lay in the circle of Ronin’s arm, watching the daybreak. She hadn’t slept a wink after he coaxed her from the closet and put her to bed. She didn’t think he had slept, either. The kiss he placed on the back of her head confirmed it.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” he asked.

“No. I kept thinking about Darby.”

“Tell me about him.”

Where should I start? “He saved me that day. When I laid in that alley, watching the man who had just raped me raise a knife. I had this split-second of clarity that I didn’t want to die, but didn’t know how I was going to survive. Darby had been patrolling, as he called it, and saw. He wanted justice for Jonathan but couldn’t find it through proper bureaucratic procedures. When he screamed and shot at them ,they scurried away, like the cockroaches they were.”

“Deathmen running,” he mused. “That’s unusual.”

“They’re cowards,” she said flatly. “I probably should’ve said they were cowards. They laughed about how they’d never be caught. How Abigail and I weren’t important enough.”

“But they were caught.” He raised an eyebrow. “By you.”

“Darby stayed with me in the hospital when he realized I didn’t have a family. Got me a therapist and into a victim’s group. I asked him why once, and he said he recognized the tattoo on one of their arms. Davorin’s Deathmen. Told me he couldn’t see another person’s life draining away. One day led to another and another, until I was finally able to leave the hospital. That’s when we hatched the idea of revenge for his Jonathan and my Abigail. Darby immediately started to teach me what I needed to execute the plan we came up with. And I trained my ass off. He t-taught me so much.”

Her voice broke on a sob and Ronin wrapped his arms tighter around her.

“He sounded like a great guy,” he whispered in her ear.

“The best,” she confirmed, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I guess he and Jonathan are together now. At least, I hope so.”

“Do you believe in an afterlife?” he asked.

“I want to. I hope there’s one.”

Ronin placed his head on top of hers, holding her tightly as she sobbed out her sorrow. She’d lost so much, what else was she going to lose? Fear shot straight into her heart because she didn’t think she could handle any more pain.

The world just takes and takes , she thought. Her soul felt diamond thin. Even the hardest stone can experience damage when subjected to enough forceful blows or violent impacts, and she had no idea how to mend her broken heart.

She fell into an unrestful sleep, dreams of her rape interwoven with Darby’s death. Nightmares held court in her mind, unceasing. Unyielding. When she finally woke up, she realized she was alone and sat up, wincing at a slight headache she had from crying. She had a therapy appointment and needed to use the bathroom before she sat down and connected with Kori. Rising, she left the room, looking up and down the hallway, and then made a beeline to the bathroom.

Typical men. The toilet seat was up. There were questionable stains in front of the commode. No hand towel. No soap. Did that mean they never washed their hands after … well, after ?

Backing up, she closed the door and went searching for a less gross bathroom.

“Hey,” a voice said.

She startled and spun. A tall, tattooed man with dark brown eyes stood behind her. On his biker vest was a rose with large thorns stitched into the leather with the word “Vice President” above it.

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay. I was looking for a cleaner bathroom.”

He stuck his hand out. “I’m Thorn.”

She glanced at it, wondering if he had washed or not.

“I don’t use that bathroom,” he said, as if reading her mind.

Heat engulfed her cheeks as she placed her hand in his and shook it. “Keres.”

“Ronin told us you were here. Nice to meet you. Let me show you the bathroom the girls use. It’s a lot cleaner.”

He led the way to the back of the hallway and gestured to a door. When Keres opened it, pink greeted her. Pink walls. Pink throw rug. Pink window drapes. It was like stepping into the Barbie movie.

“We had to rebuild the clubhouse, and the old ladies put their feet down about their own bathroom space. They painted it pink so no man in this club would enter.” He looked around and gave a little shudder. “In any case, there’re towels in the closet and all kinds of toiletries. Help yourself.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

He saluted and left. Keres entered then closed and locked the door behind her. Grabbing a pink folded towel, she shucked Ronin’s t-shirt and stepped into the shower. Several bottles of bodywash, shampoo, and conditioners were in the stall. Hoping the wives wouldn’t be too mad, she washed her body and hair. When she stepped out of the shower, she felt better since the headache had gone away. She patted herself dry and used the hair dryer only until her hair was a little damp, allowing it to dry fully on its own. She found some spray deodorant and a brand-new toothbrush in the package. Cleaning her teeth had never felt so good. When she was done, she unlocked the door and came face to face with Ronin.

“You okay?” he asked.

It was a loaded question. Was she? Not entirely, but she felt as if a weight had lifted off her shoulders. The guilt didn’t feel quite as heavy as before.

“I’m better.”

He nodded, then moved a bit closer to her, as if he couldn’t stay away.

“I’m going to kiss you now. Tell me if it’s too much.”

A quiver ran through her whole body. “Okay.”

Ronin searched her face, and then a moment later, he stepped into her sphere and slid one arm around her waist and pulled her into him. His other hand slid under her hair and tilted her head back. In the next heartbeat he slammed his mouth down on hers. Then he picked her up and walked her back into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind him.

They were voracious. She didn’t know how he did it, but the ice in her heart thawed enough to allow her to feel warm tingles radiating out as the poison slowly drained from her veins. Her pussy grew slick, her breasts became tender, and she ached to have him inside her. What was he doing to her? How could she be so wonton for him?

He lifted her up and sat her on the counter. With a raised brow, he slid his hands up her side, pulling the t-shirt up as they traveled, freeing her breasts to his burning gaze. She wasn’t large, but they fit his palms perfectly. Keres wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. His tongue snaked into her mouth, claiming her own. Heat and need rushed through her. Wild and desperate, she parted her thighs as he stepped in close.

The bathroom door opened and a startled gasp immediately brought Keres out of the haze of desire. She gasped and tried to slam her legs closed, but Ronin’s big body prevented that.

“Ronin!” a woman’s voice chastised him. “Not in the old ladies’ bathroom. That’s why it’s pink!”

He chuckled. “Sorry, Chase. Couldn’t help it. This is Keres.”

With heat engulfing her face, Keres pushed her t-shirt down. “Nice to meet you,” she mumbled.

“You too. I’m Chase, by the way. I’ll step out for a moment.” She shot one more glare at Ronin before turning. “We’re going to the Poke and Tickle tonight, Keres! You’re more than welcome to come with us!”

She didn’t know what to say, but when the door closed behind Chase, Keres closed her eyes in mortification and leaned her forehead against Ronin’s chest. His chest rumbled with a little chuckle.

“Not funny,” she muttered.

“It’s a little funny.” He lifted her off the counter. “Come on. Leia said she had some clothes for you.”

“I’m not parading downstairs in just a t-shirt without panties.”

He slid one hand down until he cupped one of her ass cheeks. She slapped at it.

“Stop. No hanky-panky where everyone can just waltz in.”

Ronin slid a hand across her shoulders. “Gotcha. Hanky-panky only in private.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll grab the stuff from Leia.”

“I have a therapy session in a bit.”

“Okay. I’ll hurry.”

He left and a few minutes later, she had a bag full of clothes. Picking out a t-shirt and shorts, she dressed and then picked up her phone to connect with Kori.

“How’ve you been?”

Keres stared at her therapist through the small screen on her phone and wondered how to tell her, then figured it was best to rip the bandage off. “There was a drive-by shooting. Darby died.”

Kori blinked, her eyes widening with horror and sadness. “Keres, I’m so very sorry. Where are you now? Do you have someone with you?”

“Yes, I’m with that guy from the gym I told you about. He’s part of a motorcycle club and I’m at his house.”

“Are you in danger from them?”

“Danger?”

“Motorcycle clubs don’t have the best reputation when it comes to women.”

“I’m safe. They aren’t like some of those violent clubs.” To a lesser degree they were, Keres thought. But Kori didn’t need to know that. “I had that nightmare again.”

“After Darby died?”

“Yes.”

“That’s to be expected,” Kori said consolingly. “He was your protector, the man who literally saved you from hell, and the safety net has now been yanked from under you. No one to catch you if you fall, and your mind is trying to comprehend that.”

“I realized everyone around me dies,” she whispered. “My parents. Abigail. Darby. Ronin almost died. It must be me.”

“None of this was your fault.”

“But I’m the common denominator. I’m cursed.” She thought about Ronin. The people she’d met at the club. Leia and her baby. The other old ladies.

“You aren’t cursed,” Kori tried to tell her, but Keres was beyond listening.

“Everything I touch disintegrates.”

“Kere s— ”

“Don’t tell me it’s just bad luck. Abigail and Darby didn’t die because of a fluke. My parents died … they died because of me.”

“They had a car accident, Keres.”

Keres looked away, suddenly getting swept into the memories she tried hard to suppress. “I haven’t told you about that night.”

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Kori gently asked.

She swore she wouldn’t dwell on what happened, but now the puzzle pieces were falling into place. “I-I want to go to a friend’s house but they said no. So, I snuck out, and they came after me. It was during a torrential storm in monsoon season, and they skidded across an intersection where they were T-boned by a semitrailer.”

“It was an accident.”

“There are a lot of accidents in my history.”

“Sometimes we all feel toxic to other people,” Kori said soothingly. Not one ounce of judgement in her tone. “Our perception gets skewered from the difficult times that happen around us, but that’s not your fault.”

Keres bit her bottom lip to continue breathing. For one brief moment, she thought she could be happy, but she now knew that would never happen. Death stalked her, ready to pounce on those brave enough to befriend her.

The session lasted another fifteen minutes before she hung up the video chat with Kori. Then she sat in Ronin’s bedroom and replayed the conversation in her mind. Her parents had loved her, and she remembered how devastated she’d been when they’d died. She’d been sent into the system because she had no other family. For a moment, she thought she had a new one, but now she knew none of this was ever meant to last.

****

Keres stood in front of Darby’s gym and stared at the devastation with tears running down her cheeks. Bullets had shattered the glass window, decimated the wooden frame, and chipped away brick and mortar, giving the building a dystopian facade. Yellow police tape designated a perimeter around the broken storefront. She headed for the entrance. A large crack split the door down the middle.

Ronin wouldn’t allow her to be by herself, so he went with her, acting as the lookout while she tried to understand what had happened. Tried to figure out what to do next. He went to walk with her, but she placed a hand on his arm.

“Please,” she whispered. “I need to do this alone.”

He hesitated. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Just … give me a moment.”

“Okay,” he said, obviously not liking being left behind.

Keres ducked under the police tape and entered the gym. Debris lay scattered everywhere. Punching bags leaked their stuffing. Paper littered the floor. Walls had a million bullet holes in them. The boxing ring had a big, red stain on it. Darby’s blood. Nausea made sweat pop out on her forehead, and she had to look away. Rehashing that night in her memory wasn’t why she was there.

Marching past all that, she headed to the back staircase and punched in the access code. The lock clicked and she hurried up to the apartment above the gym. She grabbed a duffle bag and filled it with stuff she wanted to keep. Some clothes, toiletries. Photos. Knickknacks. She marched into Darby’s room and opened the closet, quickly entering the combination on the safe he kept there.

Inside were several guns, ammunition, a few knives. A metal box she handled very carefully. All of it went into the duffle. Then, with one last look around, she gave Darby a mental goodbye.

“I hope you’re with Jonathan,” she whispered. “I will miss you, my friend. Thank you for saving me.”

Then she picked up the bag to rejoin Ronin outside. He watched as she made her way carefully out of the gym.

“Ready?”

She nodded. “What are they going to do with the building?”

“I can find out if you want me to.”

She thought for a moment. “Actually, it doesn’t really matter. Darby isn’t here. No reason for me to be, either.”

He took the duffle from her and carried it back to the motorcycle. Keres put on her helmet and slung the bag over her shoulder. Then she climbed up behind him and a moment later, they raced off into the night.