Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Jordan

L aying between Brendan and Líadan as they sleep is one of the most comforting things imaginable. The last few days have been hell, knowing all the shit they've been closing up. As I ghost my hand down Líadan's side, I frown as I rub her skin.

Is she thinner? I know that things have been stressful the last few days, but Brendan is usually really good about reminding her to eat. Líadan whimpers in her sleep, making me stiffen before she lurches up into a seated position.

Covering her mouth, she takes off running for the bathroom, nearly tripping over her feet.

She slept naked, as usual, but my concern is the fact that she barely makes it to the en-suite before she pulls her hair back and drops to her knees, to gag and throw up.

Jumping to my feet, I grab a pair of boxers as I walk, awkwardly pulling them on.

"Hey," I say softly, following her in. Líadan's entire body shudders as she pukes, and I pull her hair away, ensuring that it's nowhere near her face. "We all ate the same thing last night. I don't know how you have food poisoning."

That's all it could be, right? She said she couldn't get pregnant, but…

Brendan walks into the bathroom, frowning as he sees Líadan on the ground, tears streaming from how painful her vomiting is. Grabbing a washcloth, he turns on the cold water to dampen it before he places it gently over her neck.

"I think we should go to the hospital or Dr. Kurtz," he growls. "I swear to God, baby, something is going on. You've been getting dizzy the last few days, and you almost passed out during a torture session. Don't you dare tell me you think you caught a virus."

"Wait, she's been throwing up like this before?" I ask, confused. "Really?"

"No," she croaks out, finally able to breathe as she flushes the toilet. Fuck, that was aggressive. It was some kind of Exorcist shit.

Tossing aside the washcloth, Brendan fills a glass with water and lifts it to her lips to take a sip. Her face has a sheen of sweat, and I slowly help her up, checking for a temperature.

Líadan swishes some water around in her mouth before spitting it out in the sink. Once she's done, I turn to run the water in the shower.

"So this is the first time?" I ask, walking her in with my boxers on.

"I thought I was just doing too much," she rasps as she shivers. The water is quickly turning to warm, but I didn't wait long enough. Rubbing my hands over her arms, I nod for her to continue.

"I got dizzy while I was enjoying my birthday present and then again at Daddy's viewing."

My lips twitch as I pour some shampoo into my hand, motioning for her to get her hair under the shower.

"So you did enjoy it," I murmur. "I have to say, I wasn't expecting the photos I got that day."

"Oops?" she asks, moving her hair out of the spray of water so I can shampoo her hair.

Líadan's still pale as I massage her scalp, and I can see Brendan keeping busy as he scrubs the toilet. I also notice that he's texting someone, which means the doctor is probably on his way.

While she may be irritated by that later, it makes me feel relieved.

"Mhmm," I tease her. "Calculated texting is not an ‘oops', Princess. Have you felt tired lately too?"

"Yes," she moans as her body relaxes under my fingers. "Long days, shitty sleep is what I'm tossing it under."

"I don't know," I say, rinsing out her hair. "Can I ask you kind of a prying question?"

"Okay," she says, drawing out the word as I hand her some conditioner to continue washing her hair, so I can gently scrub her body.

Maybe being on my knees as I rub the soap over her skin isn't the best idea for this. My back is healing very well after all of the glass, but I'm going to need more of my cream as the muscles pull.

Wincing as I watch the soap slide down her perfect breasts, and I continue down her stomach, I wonder if this is the way I die: being kicked in the head by my girlfriend.

"Jor?" she asks, brow raised as she finishes working the conditioner through her hair. "Did you lose consciousness while between my legs?"

Barking out a laugh at her sassiness, I raise her leg onto my shoulder as I work the soap up her body with intention. The little clit piercing winks at me, daring me to kiss it, so I do. I never was very good at walking away from a dare.

Her little gasp is worth it as I put her leg down as if I meant to lift it to wash her better, finally standing.

As the water trails down her body, washing her off, I bite my lip, worrying at it. Fuck it, I'm asking.

"When was your last period?" I ask, waiting for her to hit me. I know what she told me, okay? I just don't know why else she'd be puking her guts out and practically fainting.

"Ah…" Líadan thinks, and my heart starts to pound. She's not upset, but she can't remember right away.

"A month and a half ago," Brendan says, leaning against the sink. "She's never been very regular, though."

"Would you be open to taking a test just to clear this as a possibility?" I ask. I'm very logical as I speak, even though my heart is racing.

"Jordan, I told you…" Líadan's eyes fill with tears as I nod, pulling her into my arms.

"I know, baby. You absolutely did. I wouldn't suggest it if all the symptoms didn't match up with the possibility," I say soothingly. "The exhaustion, the nausea, the dizziness. If we go to the hospital, they'll ask you to take one."

A shuddering sob meets my words, making me feel like an ass. Fuck me.

"Lía, Dr. Kurtz is on his way," Brendan says as I shut off the water. She's as clean as she possibly can be by this point. He has a towel in his hands, ready for Líadan as she steps out of the shower. "Will you take the test if he recommends it?"

"Knowing him, I won't have much of a choice," she grumbles as she dries off her skin. Brendan hides a smirk from her as he hands me another towel, following her into the room.

They picked up clothing from their hotel, agreeing to come stay the night. I don't think I want to spend another day apart, much less a night. I'm definitely going to negotiate that they come stay with me indefinitely. This place is as secluded as you can get in Chicago, and it's quiet.

Pulling off my boxers, the wet material makes me groan uncomfortably. I hate the feeling of wet clothing against my skin. Drying off quickly, I walk into the room, throwing everything into the hamper.

The rental also has a place for me to be able to do laundry, another positive point I plan to pitch later.

Líadan dresses in a pair of jeans and a sweater, making my brows raise. She doesn't often dress down like this. Brendan does the same as I pull on my clothes, answering my unanswered question.

"Lía and I need to visit with some of the people that were kept as human sex slaves," he explains. "She wants to see what they want to do, or if they're capable of making those decisions. She's planning to open a sex club, and sometimes that sexual freedom to choose can be helpful."

"What position would they work in?" I ask, interested as I stand in my long-sleeved shirt and chinos.

"Whatever they want," she says honestly. "I want to put the option to stay in Chicago out there for them. I'll provide housing, a job, and a chance to start over."

"That's amazing," I tell her. "Seriously, I heard some of your plans earlier when we were returning from New York, but it's impressive that you're willing to help."

"I killed their owners, I can't just disappear," she says as a knock sounds at the door. Making a face, Líadan shoves her feet into comfy socks and decides that shoes are too much effort.

Shoving a pocket knife into her back pocket just in case, she walks over to the front door of the little cottage.

"She's going to be difficult about this visit, isn't she?" I ask under my breath. Brendan smirks as he nods.

"Don't ask questions to things you already know the answers to," he grunts as he walks out of the bedroom with me to follow her.

Dr. Kurtz is already standing in the living room chatting with her, several pregnancy tests in his hand. He must have shoved some in his pocket on his way out the door, and that vision has me quickly rolling in my lips to hide the smile that wants to come out.

"Líadan, I need to rule this out before I run any other tests," he says. It's then that I notice that he has a heavy medical bag looped over his shoulder. The doctor glances at me, but doesn't mention anything about my presence as I shove my hands in my pockets to keep away the nerves.

So maybe he didn't shove the tests into his pocket.

"Doctor, you know I can't get pregnant," she whispers, wrapping her arms around her waist.

That kills whatever odd amusement my brain is twisting in my mind, because I understand the very idea of being pregnant is difficult for her. The letdown from any tiny bit of hope it could manifest would be devastating.

"No, I know no such thing," Dr. Kurtz growls. "I know some dumb shit looked at the scans after your surgery and spewed a bunch of bullshit you believed after surviving trauma. Just because your uterus is a bit scarred after the infection you had, doesn't mean you can't get pregnant and carry to term. Now go take the damn test, please. If it's negative, we'll go from there, alright?"

Taking a deep breath, Líadan nods shakily, reaching out to take a test.

"Take two," he suggests. "It's easy to mess up the first one if you're nervous."

Accepting his suggestion at face value, she takes another test, scurrying away for the bathroom.

Sagging, I blow out a breath.

"Fuck," I whisper.

"I see you made your way back into her life, Jordan," Dr. Kurtz says, lips twitching in amusement. "How long has she been not feeling well?"

"Three days?" Brendan guesses, his tongue ring flashing in the sunlight streaming into the room as he swipes his bottom lip. "We've been moving non-stop to change locations, so I initially chalked it up to that. Do you really think she could…?"

"Yes, I do," the doctor grunts. "She's young, and her body is resilient. I wanted to mention a dozen times that she should book an appointment with a specialist, but I enjoy being alive. I also think she could safely carry a child, though I suspect she may be at high risk due to the previous trauma."

"Okay," Brendan breathes, shaking out his hands as we wait. "Fuck it, I'm going to go sit with her. Even if it's against the wall while she takes a piss."

I begin to worry my lip with my teeth again as he starts to stride across the room. I want to go with him, but would she want me there? Fuck, I hate how unsteady I still feel.

Dr. Kurtz cuffing me behind the head brings me back from the spiral of anxiety, and I see Brendan walking backwards, arms spread wide.

"Come on, then," he says, rolling his eyes. "This is your engraved invitation to join me, Jor."

Pulling my hands out of my pockets, I hurry after him, ignoring Dr. Kurtz' muttered words under his breath.

Brendan

I hope one day I won't have to remind Jordan he has every bit as much right to support Líadan in things as I do. Hell, he ran right after her earlier today when she got sick. Knowing she's peeing on a stick that could alter our lives in the best of ways makes my stomach clench anxiously.

Tapping my knuckles on the hall bathroom door, I say, "Baby, we're right outside. I just wanted to let you know."

Lía doesn't say anything, but I can hear her moving around, so I lean my back against the wall, allowing my body to sink to the floor. Jordan passes me by when he notices me on the floor, yet I can see him pulling off his shirt. Frowning, I call out to him, wondering what he's doing, when I spot the jar of cream in his hand.

Fuck, his back.

"Hey, let me help with that," I tell him as I watch him applying it himself. I'm irrationally angry at the thought that he's been doing this alone the last few days.

"I forgot to do it after the shower, and now it's starting to bother me," he grumbles, walking back to me and slowly lowering himself to the ground, so I can apply a liberal amount to his back.

"This looks so much better," I murmur, straining to hear Lía just inside the bathroom on the other side of the wall. I can still hear her moving around in there, but she's not saying anything.

Keeping myself busy, I make sure Jordan's back is well taken care of before I stand, tired of waiting. It only takes a few minutes for them to read the test results.

"Whatever it says, milseán , it'll be okay," I say through the door as Jordan stands, pulling on a loose T-shirt he grabbed on the way out of the bedroom. "We love you."

My hand on the doorknob, I turn and push it open.

Líadan

This can't be real.

My breaths are coming out quickly as I look down at the tests laid out on the counter. They both are saying something I didn't think possible, and I'm not sure I trust it. Tears slide down my face as I try to catch up to this reality.

I don't think I've ever cried so much before.

I'd rather feel everything than feel as numb as I've been the last half of my life.

"Whatever it says, milseán , it'll be okay," Brendan says, promising that they love me in the next breath.

Sniffling, I turn to face him as the door swings open.

"Whatever it says, is it what you want?" Jordan asks, gazing at me with Brendan. I appreciate the way he stated it. I feel so many emotions right now.

Raging anger at a doctor who so callously told me I was basically barren after I went to my follow up appointment, after my various surgeries, sits at the forefront of my mind. Next is hope and joy, because holy shit!

"Yes," I whisper, closing my eyes for a moment to collect my thoughts. "I'm pregnant."

"Fuck yes," Brendan whoops, making me laugh as I open my eyes and he pumps his fist.

"Are you okay with it?" I ask Jordan, swallowing hard. "Like you said, you already raised kids?—"

"Yes," he growls, stalking into the room to tug me into his arms. He's so gentle, tilting my chin up to look up at him. "I am so okay with it. A gorgeous baby boy or girl that's a part of you, fuck yes I want that."

"There's a possibility it's yours," Brendan murmurs, trying to do the math. Jordan has been with us for over a month, it's possible.

"It's ours," I correct, shrugging. "I don't care who the dad is biologically, we're having a baby."

My eyes widen as it hits me, and Jordan kisses my forehead with a chuckle. Brendan steals me away a moment later, kissing my lips hard.

"Hey, máithrín ," he whispers. "God, I'm so happy, baby."

"Me too," I wail, even as he chuckles. A group hug is exactly what I need, the weight of their bodies against mine anchoring me to the present. This is happening, it's not a dream.

"Líadan!" Dr. Kurtz yells from the living room, startling me. I guess he's tired of being ignored.

"Coming," I call back, drawing away from the hug to blow my nose and wash my face. Quickly patting it dry, I hurry back to the living room with the little positive sticks in my hand.

"Well?" he drawls, his lips already curling into a smile. "What are the results?"

"As usual, you're right," I admit, showing him the results.

"Good," he grunts, releasing a small sigh. "What do you want to do for obstetrician visits?"

"Do you have anyone who you recommend?" I ask tentatively. "I don't know what I'm doing in the next five minutes, much less nine months down the road, but I want to make sure I have someone I trust in my corner."

"As do I," he says. "There are a lot of crooked and stupid doctors out there who don't have a clue about how to speak to their patients. At the same time, you aren't someone who needs kid gloves."

Nodding, I agree, because he's right. I just want someone who won't be a dick to me as I navigate through this new adventure. And knowing my life, it will be one.

"Who do you recommend, doctor?" Jordan asks, his hand on the small of my back.

"Doctor Halifax," he says. "She works with high risk patients, and I'm not saying that your pregnancy will be difficult, but I want someone who can handle your history without being judgemental."

"Okay, where is she located?" I ask, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Chicago," Dr. Kurtz says, looking at me funny. "You don't think I'd make that ridiculous speech and send you across the country, do you? You know better than that, girlie."

"I do," I apologize. "I feel as if something bad is about to happen. I'm trying to get used to this."

"I understand," he says with a nod. "I would like to take a bit of blood, and then you can go about your day. I'll set up your appointment for you so you don't have to wait forever."

"Just like that?" Brendan asks, awed.

"Yes," he says. "I have watched you bloom into this incredible woman who is making a difference. Don't think that I haven't heard about the chaos you've been creating the last couple of days."

"I'm sure you have," I say with a wince. "I've been trying to keep you out of it."

"Meh, my life is boring at the moment," he says, with a wave of his hand. "You're doing important work. If one of the people you're helping needs medical attention, I'll come. Now, let's chat a bit while I take this blood. Starting with the vomiting you're experiencing…"

Sitting, I listen with rapt attention as he gives me tricks and tips to help the nausea that crept up on me this morning. Low blood sugar will trigger it for many pregnant women, so eating saltine crackers will help if I eat a few before I go to bed and when I wake up.

As he takes blood to run his tests, I place my hand on my stomach, my heart pounding but in a good way.

Hello, little one. I'm your mommy.