FORTY-FOUR

Ethan

THE CLICK OF the lock and the beep of the alarm announce the departure of the last of our guests. Jax's cooking and Billie's playful spirit kept things from getting too uncomfortable, not to mention the mate attraction between the twins and Anabelle. But there's no denying there's a tension in our pack. It's been held between two members, the pressure building like a soda can forgotten in the trunk during winter, just waiting for the temperature to dip below that critical point. And then? Then someone is willing to risk frostbitten balls by running outside in the middle of the night in his birthday suit to grab the can before it explodes.

Walking back down the hallway, I hear the snapping of fingers and Billie calling out. "Oh no you don't, Alexander! You are not going in there!" Holy shit, she snapped her fingers at him? I suck in my lips to prevent the smile from showing.

Stepping into the great room, I spin my head to the right. Both Billie and Jax are sitting on the kitchen island straight ahead to my left. I follow their line of sight all the way to Xander, who's standing in the doorway to his bedroom, his back, tight with tension, to us.

"X," Jax pleads, swiping a hand down his face. "We gotta get this shit sorted. You and Ethan are masters of the blank expression, but you can't out blank the bond."

Billie snorts a smile at Jax. "That's right." Turning to us, she presses her hands onto the quartz countertop and leans back, her brows raised. "You can't out blank the feckin' bond. Now walk your hot asses over here so we can get this shit figured out." More than happy to get everything out in the open, even if it means I may feel the sting of frostbitten balls, metaphorically speaking, I glide over and pull the stool in front of Billie out, sitting down at an angle. Xander releases a frustrated groan, and his bare feet hit the floor a little hard as he strides—almost stomping, but we'll call it striding because stomping would be childish—over to join us. He picks up my half-finished beer from the table on the way and slugs some down before taking a seat similar to mine at Jax's side.

"Alrighty then," Billie chirps. "Obviously there's some tension in our relationship that's been kept from two of us." Her gaze flicks between Xander and me. Taking a dramatic inhale, she rolls her eyes and huffs, "And since this is a relationship of four, the other two would like to be let in on it."

"Xander needs to share more of the workload that's come his way," I state. Feeling my ire rise, I fold my arms over my chest and suck down a deep inhale, forcing myself to keep my tone neutral and my words based on fact. "He has far more on his plate than he's let on. He's only allowing me to help organize and sort data while still going through all the information himself. He has meetings throughout the day now that he's taking in between classes from his truck. He's been staying up late or coming to bed with us, then getting up in the middle of night to continue working, and. . ." I turn to my alpha, my pack-mate, my family. His eyes, which have been drawn and tired, seem to have found enough energy to burn a hole into my head, while his jaw clenches with the grinding of his teeth. Good, at least he's being open with how he feels. I hitch a shoulder like what I'm about to say isn't the bomb it is. "And even with the aid of Bruce and Luna Ophelia, the pack is voicing their concerns and their threats—loudly. Some are making it to Xander directly."

Billie gasps, and Jax swears, "Fucking Christ, X!" He growls. "What's the reason for you keeping that to yourself?"

Xander eyes narrow to slits so sharp I feel the cut of them on my cheek. I'll take it. I'll take it if it means he'll let us help. He sips some beer and sneers. "Apparently I wasn't keeping it to myself." I hold his glare and continue to stare at him even after he slides his to Billie. I watch his whole expression change. The tight lines of anger morph into creases of concern, and his lips twist and roll in uncertainty. He's fucking scared. After reading those emails, I am too. Some of the threats have been explicit in both their feelings and in ways to deal with her should their chosen alpha decide to keep her.

Xander releases a long sigh, acting like those emails are more of a nuisance than anything. "There was no point in bringing any of it up or spreading the vitriol they have been spewing. I'm not responding to them, merely saving them to a file in case." He swallows. "In case they'll ever be needed later."

"The protection of our pack is the responsibility of the betas," Jax snarls, his blue eyes glowing with his wolf voicing feelings about being left out of this. My wolf, also feeling the same betrayal and lack of confidence from our alpha, rises in response. Jax's posture straightens. "The betas are the primary line of defense. It's our honor and duty to protect our pack, alpha, and fucking true-mate, in all manners, Xander. If our pack is being threatened, we need to know about it."

"As does the one who's being threatened," Billie snaps, her eyes glowing and blazing so brightly I can feel the heat of her shifter energy radiating off her. The energy in the room seems to ionize, the hairs on the back of my neck and forearms being pulled on by an invisible force, like grains of sand being dragged out to sea by the receding waves. My wolf is even wary, feeling her amass power, and then, like the slam of a hammer or maybe a paddle, the air around Billie ripples with agitation—one that's palpable. I feel it in my gut like the heavy bass from a subwoofer, but heated. She is pissed .

"I told you, Alexander," she points her finger at him while growling. "Back when you had that meeting with your father that Ethan and I knew nothing about. No. Fucking. Secrets." Xander goes to speak, but she's not having any of it, shutting him up with a palm in the air. She shakes her head. "Not feckin' done! Also, when my fox and I first connected with you and your wolf, we let you know exactly what we wanted in a mate, and an overprotective alpha was not high on our list."

Clearly not liking his judgment being questioned—he is an alpha—Xander jolts to his feet and stands in front of her with hands fisted at his sides. He manages to keep his voice level while asserting, "They're just threats. Nothing more. Most are probably baseless and more hot air than anything."

With Billie sitting on the counter, she's almost at his height, and she uses the position to her advantage. Surprising us all, she quickly snatches hold of Xander's shirt collar and aggressively yanks him to her. They stay there. Face to face. Glowing eyes to glowing eyes. Clenched jaw to clenched jaw. Flaring nostrils to flaring nostrils. Neither speaking. Then a knowing smirk spreads across our mate's face, and she scoffs a humorless laugh. "Tell me, il mio cuore , how did you feel when you read those emails? If they were baseless threats, I'd think you'd feel nothing." Her other hand clutches the underside of Xander's jaw, and she leans in close enough that their lips touch. In a menacingly sultry voice, she says, "Tell me, Alexander, did you feel nothing reading them? Are they not even going to enter your mind at the meeting this week?"

Xander stays silent for several long seconds, barely breathing as he holds Billie's alarmingly chilly stare. "Enraged. Concerned. Anxious. Irate," he pushes out through snarling lips. "That how I felt. How I feel."

Her hand on his jaw changes from clutching to cupping, and her fingers fisting his collar release their hold and sweep around the back of his neck to stroke his nape. The softening of her hold on him spreads, relaxing her face and her voice. "Those are feelings that I will not let any of my true-mates feel alone," she vows, brushing his cheek with the back of her knuckles. Xander's body eases under her touch, and his hands move to the outside of her hips. "We share those feelings. We feel those together, il mio cuore . It is why we are bonded." She affirms her words with empathetic eyes. His chin drops down in almost shameful understanding. The moment is tender and beautiful. If I thought that would be enough, I'd stay silent. But it's not. I know Xander, he needs to be pushed to let go of the reigns, and this is about all of us, not just them. Jax and I share a look with each other, and we nod in silent agreement. The betas are not done here.

"Give Jax and me access to all your email accounts," I command. The unyielding tone in my voice has Xander twisting out of Billie's embrace to face me.

His upper lip twitches into a scathing snarl. "It appears you already have access, E."

"Cut the shit, Xander," Jax snaps. Xander whirls to face him. Jax rakes tense fingers through his hair, pulling on the ends in obvious frustration before letting go. He points a finger at Xander. "You know that's not the issue. The issue is you hiding things you know deep down you shouldn't have."

Xander falls back onto his pub chair, and it creaks with the added weight of expectations and responsibilities that have been piled onto his shoulders. Pulling the balls of his feet up onto the foot bar, he leans forward with his forearms on his thighs and hangs his head low. "I didn't think of it as hiding. I just didn't want to bother anyone else with it." He pushes back against his chair and barks out, "Fuck!" Crossing his arms over his chest, one of his legs begins to bounce up and down as he admits, "I don't want to bother any of you with this. Shit, I don't want to deal with any of it. But I have to."

"Well, I don't want to deal with a stressed-out, secretive, tired, easily agitated, and grumpy alpha," Jax snickers, taking a sip of beer and pointing the top of the bottle at Xander. "That's where we're heading if you keep up the way you have been."

"Well, Jax," Xander sarcastically drawls rising in agitation. "I don't know what the hell to do about it because I don't really know what the hell I'm doing!" He stands up so fast his chair slides out from behind him and crashes to the floor. Pointing a finger at his own chest, his skin flushes, and veins protrude from his neck as he yells, "I've got five multimillion-dollar businesses to learn about! I've got to figure out what it means to be on three boards, what my positions and roles represent! I've got a pack that stood by and allowed me to be beaten and abused for most of my childhood, that wants me and my betas as their leaders but not my true-mate! We've gotten ourselves involved in helping the Shifter High Council in dismantling the supposed orphan ring and experiments on chemically induced bonds." He keeps his eyes focused on Jax while he points that shaky finger at Billie, gasping. "Our true-mate almost died two weeks ago, and her whole human family is at risk. She's brand new to this world and has no official training in how to use her powers. I trust Alessandro is concerned for her well-being, but we can't deny his infatuation with her, and there's no bloody fucking way I'll feel comfortable with him training her without one of us there! But it needs to happen because about twenty percent of the pack who wants us to be their leaders would rather see her dead!" Xander's chest is heaving as he stands there, sweating and simmering in frustrated rage.

Jax being Jax, he needs to push him a little more. He smirks. "Don't forget about a full class load, soccer, and our own apparent lack of education when it comes to being shifters."

"Judas Priest," Xander grumbles. Turning around, he rights his chair and sits down in irritated defeat.

The only sound for several long moments is the sound of Xander getting his breath under control as the three of us let the weight that's been on his shoulders spread to ours, and I exhale in relief. To grab his attention as well as offer him some comfort, I place my hand on his thigh. Xander's eyes lock on my hand in surprise, but I keep it there and give his leg a squeeze. His concerned eyes meet mine, and I exhale. "Thank you for letting it all out. I've been with you in that office bedroom every night this week, waiting for you to actually share some of the stress, to let me or any of us in, truly in. It has been brutal." I glance at Billie and Jax, then return my gaze to Xander. Giving him a lopsided grin, I add, "I know you've been able to find moments of peace and happiness with these two, thinking that it will be enough. But it won't, and you don't have to go through this alone." I squeeze his thigh once more before letting go.

Leaning back, Xander covers his eyes with the palms of his hands and blows out a long breath. "Listen, I know you're all correct. I know what you're saying is true and valid, but I don't know what to do about it."

"Well, dude." Billie chuckles and Xander drops his hands to look at her. "This was a start, and now"— she rolls her eyes and smiles wide— "it's not just on you to figure out. You've got us to help you. Asking for help isn't just about delegating or having a specific list of items or tasks to hand out. It can literally be asking for help figuring out what to ask for help with."

A reluctant grin pulls at Xander's lips. I can see an idea brighten his bloodshot eyes. He straightens his spine and rubs a thumb over his lower lip—something he does for her reaction, which is a faint blushing of her cheeks. Bonus for me and Jax because we get to watch. Xander's brows raise in challenge. "Okay, Little Fox, what would you do if you were in my position?"

Billie bites her lower lip before taking a sip of beer and raises her eyebrows in rebuttal, basically a game-on signal. Placing her beer down, she brings her hands up to start counting off. "One: Call Warren DeLuca. See if he knows of any good assistants in the area, because you're going to need a full-time assistant to do all the organizational work you're having Ethan do. Two: Create a pack-mate shared calendar or schedule so we can all see what the others are doing. If you have meetings, I have no problem hanging out with you in the truck or wherever. Three: Sit down with the three of us to go over all the businesses, particularly the three you have temporary board positions on, and each one of us will help take on some of the tasks with a specific business. Just let us choose which one. Four: List priorities from most important to us to least important to us ." She puts strong emphasis on the word us here, and I agree. We need to know what we value and what matters to us when making these decisions. She continues, "Five: We all need to know about the threats coming through, as well as those your mother and Bruce are handling. I don't think sweeping them under the rug is the best approach. Six: You've got to figure out what you need from the pack in order for you to become their alpha. Get crystal clear on that, Xander, because you don't have to take it on. It's them that want you, not the other the way around. Keep being you, and they'll keep wanting you, but you've got to make them make you want them." She pauses for a second and mutters the last sentence to herself, as am I since it was kind of a word cluster. She nods and leans back, placing her hands behind her on the countertop.

"That's what I meant. . ." I state with a smile. Standing up, I step over to the open side of our brilliant mate. Leaning against the countertop, I rest my forearm around her backside. She looks at me quizzically. I kiss her cheek before turning to Xander and Jax. ". . .when I said especially the little fox on my lap ."

Jax barks out a short laugh and nods. "She'll figure it out because it's like puzzles and games for her." I place a hand on her thigh and bend my head down to nuzzle behind her ear, humming in agreement.

Billie softly laughs. "It's about having a positive mindset. Twenty percent on the problem, eighty percent on the solution, then make it a game to remove the stress. Xander stated the problems, he threw down a challenge, a game of sorts, and"—she hitches a shoulder— "I focused on the solutions."

Something dawns on me, and I quickly pull away from her neck to stare into her eyes. Her eyes twinkle, seeing the realization in mine, and a grin curves across her lips while she waits for me. "Fuck," I gust out. Moving between her legs, my hands eagerly reach for the hem of her green thermal. She laughs and raises her arms above her head so I can remove it.

I guide her all the way down on the countertop and unbutton her jeans. Jax leans over from his position next to her while I tug her jeans down to just below her hip bones. Xander comes to stand where I was. My fingertips skim over the simple tattoo on the inside of her left hip. "80:20," and under it, "Play the Game!"

"Is this what you're talking about?" Jax queries, his fingers following the path of mine.

Billie giggles, and her stomach muscles contract. "Yeah. Well, and among other things. I swear that eighty-twenty ratio shows up everywhere. You need three positive thoughts to outweigh one negative thought, basically a three-to-one ratio, seventy-five percent to twenty-five percent, so that's roughly there, pretty sure within two standard deviations."

Xander's snickers. "No wonder Twain loves you."

Billie laughs, and I feel her happiness vibrate under my fingers, which has my hand brushing over more than just her tattoo. She continues. "Wanna shed weight, eighty percent diet, twenty percent exercise. Or that eighty percent of your success comes from twenty percent of the things you do. So, focus on the areas that are most important rather than trying to get everything done. Ya know, things like that."

My fingers dip lower, under the 80:20. "What about Play the Game?" I murmur, my eyes transfixed by her skin pebbling under my light touch.

"Oh, um," Billie stutters. "When we're working from a mindset of play, we're working from areas in the brain that are associated with a positive mindset." Jax begins to trace his fingers over her collarbone and down over the top of her breasts. When his fingers graze my bitemark, Billie shudders a moan. "So, creativity, innovation, exploration, and empathy are all associated with areas of the brain that have been linked to a positive mindset, generally making it easier for you to come up with the answers."

Understanding how much thought and meaning her tattoos hold for her has me seeing them in a different light. These are beliefs that she chooses to live by, and she's inked them into her skin. My chest tightens with a desire to pay homage to them, like they're her Bible. Bending over, I press my lips over the tatted area several times. She gasps, and her voice takes on a husky quality. "Stress in general just makes things harder. Play makes it easier."

Wanting more of her, my fingers pull her zipper all the way down while Jax jests, "I don't know, Billie. Whenever you and I play together, I get real hard." The three of us groan in pain, but the line isn't bad enough to deter me from my task. Taking hold of the waistband of her jeans, I pull them all the way off.

I kiss my way up one of her thighs and over her flat stomach while my fingers tug the cup of her green lace bra down, exposing one of her breasts. Blowing against her hardening peak, I say, "I take it you learned a lot of this from Micky?" Then I take her nipple into my mouth, and we're all gifted with the smell of orange blossoms.

Billie groans. "Yeah, but, um. . ." I feel Jax's hair against my shaved head, and peeking over I see him swirling his tongue around her other nipple. "Let's... let's, um, not talk about... about... Micky now."

Jax chuckles. "Sounds good, B." Then he opens his mouth wide and hollows out his cheeks, sucking as much of her breast into his mouth as he can.

"Fuck, Jax!" Billie wails, arching her back off the counter. Not to be outdone, I open my mouth and drag my teeth over her flesh until her nipple is held between them, my tongue flicking her peak repeatedly.

Bille squirms under us, but her motions abruptly stop when my teeth bite down. She hisses in painful pleasure, and my tongue flattens out to lap up her essence.

Releasing her nipple, I stand up and meet Xander's awaiting gaze. He jerks his chin to something behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I notice the package that arrived earlier this week sitting inconspicuously on the console table. I turn back to Xander, and we both grin in agreement. "Let's take this upstairs," I suggest.

Jax pulls away from Billie's breast, confusion creasing his brows. "We've got some new toys to play with," I say with a wink.