THIRTY-EIGHT

Jaxson

BILLIE IS TRYING hard not to shovel food into her mouth like she clearly wants to. Instead, she's taking daintily small bites while fighting to keep her upper lip from snarling in agitation. She's even tucked a napkin into the thin gold chain around her neck like a bib, and she has another one fully spread out over her lap. Memories of our first one-on-one conversation at the preseason cookout and her being a messy eater flash through my mind, and my lips curve into a warm smile.

With her hands now occupied with utensils, Xander rests his on the nape of her neck, the need to touch her apparently more important than cutting up his food. He gazes at Colette and motions the steak tip on the end of his fork between her and Ethan. "Tell me what moved you to try and touch Ethan just now," he says in a voice so flat there's no room for defying.

Colette's body jumps, and her eyes widen in shock at his curtness. Xander keeps his eyes on her while tearing apart the steak in a way that is both savage yet calm, projecting the demeanor of an alpha and mafia boss mixed into one. Simply watching and waiting. Colette's eyes flick over to Ethan, and her face twists in painful desperation. Returning her gaze to Xander, she inhales a jagged breath and stutters, "If... if he would just let me touch him, he'd feel what I feel. He'd know he's meant for me."

Billie turns to Xander, and they hold a silent conversation. Lifting his gaze back to Colette, he swallows the bit in his mouth and licks the dab of sauce from the corner of his lips in an absent-minded yet totally sexy way. He exhales. "Explain what you're expecting to feel and what you think Ethan will feel by you touching him."

"An instant need and desire to be together forever!" she blurts out with such fierce passion in her voice it's as if questioning otherwise would shake the very core of her beliefs. She gazes at Ethan with watery eyes and weeps. "A soul-knowing feeling that we are true-mates."

"Let's test it!" Billie chirps with way too much excitement. Her gaze slides to Ethan, and she winces. Reaching her hand out she hooks her two first fingers around two of his and amends, "If Ethan is willing obviously. I'd never want you to feel uncomfortable, love."

Ethan squats down in front of Billie and cocks his head to one side, observing her. Her eyes are gleaming with the desire to play this game—because it is, without question, a game in Billie's mind. Ethan's other hand brushes along the back of her calf, massaging and kneading her muscles. Her hand pauses midair with a forkful of potato salad, and her eyes shutter, while her fingers around his tug him closer. Ethan's teeth pull on his lip ring, and he probes, "I'd like to hear more details before I agree to anyone outside the four of us touching me." Hearing him include Xander and me stirs something in me. A feeling of snuggling up under blankets in front a fire and feeding each other s'mores while we gaze up at the stars—that type of feeling. My wolf murrs his agreement. Ethan gives her fingers a peck before releasing them and pressing back up to standing.

Billie bobs her head. Looking down at her plate, she grunts and gives up all sense of modesty by picking up a kabob with her fingers and hungrily biting into it. Then she proceeds to gleefully hum while chewing. Xander pauses to intently watch her, biting on his lower lip as if he wished it were the meat in her mouth. She swallows, and her eyes observe Colette for a long moment. Her gaze softens. "It must feel agonizing to watch someone whom you wholeheartedly believed to be your true-mate be mated and bonded to another." Colette gasps and nods her head vigorously, the motion freeing more tears from between her lashes. Billie nods and sighs in what I think is empathy. "If it's only a touch you need, if you truly believe touching Ethan will bring about a different reaction than touching anyone else. That him feeling your hands on his body will produce an. . ." She pauses and slants a grin. "An instant biochemical and physical reaction to be with one another"—Xander hums with pride, likely remembering his lesson to her all those weeks ago— "then let's test it out."

"How, love?" Ethan queries.

Billie smiles wide and exclaims, "A double-blind touch test!" Yes, our mate is a nerd who would find a scientific experiment exciting.

Colette's face crinkles with concerned confusion. "What do you mean? How would it work?"

After Billie explains her experiment—with gusto, I might add—both Colette and Ethan agree to participate. Given the go-ahead, Billie quickly goes to work procuring her participants. It's an amazing feat to see, how easily she infuses others with her excitement, getting people to readily agree with enthusiasm.

And that's how we've ended up with Gabe, Colin, Ken Kubrick, Xander, me, and Ethan all lined up, with our jackets off, shirt sleeves rolled up, and forearms out, waiting for a cloth-napkin-blindfolded Colette to touch us in the middle of funeral reception / estate sale / backyard barbeque.

Billie calls in Elder Ralph and Bruce to serve as witnesses, and Gertie is recording the test, completely removing Billie from the experiment. Looking around, everyone with the exception of Amber and Colette is smiling or grinning, happy for the intermission.

Billie looks at Amber with a small frown and says, "If you care for Colette, then her knowing the truth is what matters most. Any reaction from you could potentially skew her reaction and nullify the results." Half turning her head to us, seeing our eagerness for the distraction she's provided, she smiles. "Same goes for you guys. I strongly advise you shut your eyes after you've been arranged."

"Amber, maybe you should turn around," Bruce interjects. Crossing his arms over his chest he gazes between the two girls and hitches a shoulder. "You and Colette are close. Your wolves are close. It may be hard for you not to react."

Surprisingly Amber agrees and even takes a few steps away, putting distance between her and us. Once we're all arranged and our eyes are closed, Elder Ralph confirms Gertie is recording, and then he guides Colette down the line to touch and hold each of us one at a time. When her hands, freed from their lace gloves, land on me and begin to rub up and down my forearm, my wolf's head picks up. He sleepily looks around and yawns before snuggling deeper into himself. I feel nothing, not agitated, or even bored. Just... nothing. She moves on, and I wait. We all wait. Waiting for some sort of reaction, an outburst of emotion or even a gasp of breath, but all I hear is the steady background chatter from those still here. Elder Ralph coughs, and I jerk at the sudden sound. He roughly declares, "That concludes the experiment."

Opening my eyes, I watch a devasted Colette rip the cloth napkin off her head and cry out, "NO! It can't be! I must have never touched him!" Seeing Colette, who's always been quiet like a timid field mouse, erupt into this kind of explosive emotion has me wrapping my arms around my unexpectedly constricted chest. I knew she had feelings for Ethan. I knew she wanted them to be mates because of how she obsessively watched him from afar. She would try to engage him at gatherings or at meals, then when he never responded, she seemed to be happy to just sit in silence and simply be in his presence. I didn't even know she had the capability to express her emotions with this level of passion. It sucks that the first time she shows her inner fire, it's through her hurt.

Gertie scurries over with her phone in hand and braces Colette's shivering form with an arm around her back while extending her other arm in front of them. She shows Colette the video. Colette's tear-streaked, pain-stricken face pulls back from the video. Shaking her head in disbelief, she literally tries to back away from what she's seeing, only to be held in the comforting yet firm embrace of Gertie. I know when she gets to the part of the video where she touches Ethan because her entire face pales. Her dark eyes become darker and bleaker like a bottomless well, and her mouth drops open with gasping inhales. She starts chanting "No," over and over again, with enough feeling it's as if she's trying to cast a spell to reshape reality into the one she wants.

With all of us so close, our scents were intermingled, but if they were true-mates, especially if their wolves were looking for their true-mates, they'd know. Damn, I wasn't actively seeking my mate, and Billie didn't know she was a shifter. Little Fox hadn't even emerged, yet one whiff of her scent on the wind had me hard and needy.

Colette pulls away from Gertie and throws her head back, shrieking at the heavens. "No! This doesn't matter—at all!"

Elder Ralph's face draws down, and he steps over to her. His large hands rub up and down her slender shoulders and arms, soothing her with gentle shushes. He quietly repeats, "It's all right, child. It's all right." When she's calmed down and pretty much collapsed into his sturdy frame, he bends downs and implores, "What did your wolf tell you, hmm? When you touched each one, what did your wolf say?"

Colette wipes her nose with the cloth napkin still balled up in her hand and sniffles. "Not him, not him, but... but. . ." She hiccups a clogged breath and asserts, "That means nothing!" I chance a glance around the circle, noting that even Colin's and Kubrick's faces are pinched in sympathetic pain. Gabe, being an omega, feels deeply, his eyes brimming with own tears for her.

Gertie's long dark-purple velvet shawl catches on the grass as she swishes her way to stand in front of Colette. Several inches shorter than the younger wolf, she cranes her head back and reaches her hands up to cup Colette's blotchy face. "Oh, honey," she coos. "It means everything. Your wolf is telling you the truth, and you're refusing to listen." Pausing, she raises her arms out wide and exclaims, "She knows! She knows!" Somehow or other, Xander, Ethan, and I have all corralled ourselves around our mate, needing to touch her. She leans into Xander's chest while grasping Ethan's and my hands. Gertie lightly clasps both of Colette's hands in hers, holding them in between their bodies. "I know it seems hard now, but this is a good thing. Your mate is out there, Colette, waiting for you! Your mate is not already divinely mated to someone else. They are waiting because the divine has chosen you for them!"

Colette, still in shock over everything and not able to accept the truth, numbly shakes her head. Her eyes widen with a feral gleam and lock on Ethan. Before anyone can react, she rushes him and grabs hold of his forearm, trying to yank his hand free from Billie's. His arm could be made of stone for all it moved.

The air around us chills with the cold wind of the deep-throated growl freed from Ethan's chest. His eyes glow, shining like black ice, and he snarls "Do. Not. Touch. Me."

Colette inhales sharply and drops her hand from his unmoving arm. Stumbling backward, she splays her palms out in front, looking at them like they've betrayed her. Her shocked eyes fly to Ethan, and she croaks, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Pivoting on her heels, she takes off down the long driveway. The hard clacking of her Mary-Janes on the pavement come to scuttling stop by—WHAT THE FUCK?

Why the fuck is an excavator backing up into the driveway?

"WOO-HOO," Xander's mother hollers out, clapping her hands over her head in excitement.

We all turn to her as she strides over to Xander. Billie releases our hands and moves off to Xander's side to make room for his mother. Xander promptly takes her hand in his again, while his mother comes to stand in front of him. She gazes at Xander with bright brown eyes. "This is my gift to you." Her voice is strong, but her hands fidget with the lapels of her crop jacket while her gaze travels from Xander to the excavator and then to the garage, landing back on her son.

Xander's eyes track the path of his mother's, as do Ethan's and mine. Ethan's only reaction is a slight straightening of his already perfect posture, while my mouth drops open in shock. Thankfully, I snap it shut before the gurgling, choking sound of utter disbelief can escape. The only reaction I can see from Xander is a tic of his jaw and the tightening of his grip on Billie's hand.

His mother cautiously reaches out for his free hand, giving him time to pull back. Her body decompresses, and she damn near sighs in relief when he allows her to gently hold his hand. She cups her other hand so lightly on top, you'd think his hand was a fragile as a bubble. Staring up at her son, or more so just to the side like she still can't look him in the eyes, she exhales a tired breath and says, "Someday. Someday I'd like to explain what was happening between your father and me." Her lips screw up in pain and anger. "What had kept me so weak, either incapable of intervening or believing that I was not strong enough to." Rotating her head around to look at the excavator, she rubs his hand and gazes at the garage. "I hope to bury the biggest reminder of that pain with your father today."

Xander's brows furrow in apprehension, his gaze darting between the excavator and the garage, looking conflicted about what to do. But our mate? She looks damn giddy. Unable to contain her excitement, her arm starts swinging back and forth, dragging Xander's along with it.

He dips his head down to her and raises a brow in question. She looks up at him with bright eyes and a wide smile. "Dude, why the feck not!" she exclaims loud enough that Xander's gran, who is more than twenty feet away, can hear it. She answers our mate's excitement with a loud guffaw of laughter that echoes across the yard.

Xander nibbles on his bottom lip while his eyes swing back and forth from the excavator to the garage. Peering back down at our mate, he lets his mouth kick up at the corners. "Explain, il mio cuore ." Those of us gathered for her experiment are all still here, enraptured by the whole scene and eagerly await her explanation.