3. KVella

three

K'Vella

" S he should wake in a few seconds." A feminine voice pulls me out of my slumber.

I groan and reach for my head, which feels like it's spinning. I don't know where I am, just that I'm lying on my back and there's a pleasant, rumbling sound surrounding me. It's not a sound I've ever heard before, but it's comforting. It's almost like it's making me feel warm and protected. Strange feelings to have from a sound, but I'm not going to question it. Not when it feels so nice.

"Oh, right on time. Welcome back, my name's Essa and—"

"Where?" My voice is rough as I cut her off.

I don't mean to be rude, and I hope she doesn't take offense. But I'm confused and definitely not in my bed. The confusion is short-lived, as the events right before I passed out come back in full blast: receiving a comm message from Via, meeting her brothers, and jumping far too close to another ship.

"Never warp jumped before?" Essa asks me.

I blink a few times, trying to open my eyes against the bright lights in the room around me. She comes to stand in front of one of the lights, and I make out her features.

Her skin's a shimmering golden color, and her black hair is pulled up in a messy bun between two dark horns spiraling out of her forehead. Her eyes—all two of them—are a bright yellow with large, overblown pupils. It's hard to tell from the angle, but she looks to be a tall female. I'm sure she'll be taller than me, and I'm already tall, even by Varon standards.

Essa gives me a bright smile, flashing slightly too pointed canines, and repeats the question. "Was that the first time you've ever warp jumped?"

"Yes." I nod, and the world spins again. I blink a few times and try to gather my thoughts. Of course, in my confusion, I say the embarrassing part of this whole situation. Well, one of them. Really, everything that's happened so far has been humiliating. "Via told me she found a male willing to help me with my problem?"

The soft rumbling sound intensifies, and I relax back against the bed, not caring too much that I maybe shouldn't have started by admitting to needing a male to help me conceive. A soft moan escapes my lips as my body relaxes. "That's nice."

"Holoth, enough," Essa says to someone next to me.

Next to me?

I look to the side and am met with a male who looks so vastly different from a Varon male that I'm not sure if I find him attractive or ugly.

This male, Holoth, is wearing nothing but a pair of dark leather pants. His light hair is pulled back into a braid down over his shoulder. The beige coloring of his skin is much less vibrant than the soft shades of purple on Varons. His frame is much smaller than that of a male of my species, but that's to be expected due to missing two arms. The black lines of his genetic markings swirl and decorate his exposed skin. My eyes fall down his chest and abdomen, wanting to know how far the markings go.

Holoth sits completely still and allows me to assess him. When I bring my gaze back to his face, I realize why he looks so startling. He only has two eyes and those furry things above them. Oh, I'm not sure if I can do this.

Then the vibrations fill me again, and I think maybe it won't be so bad. They fill me at the perfect moment. Just as I'm starting to panic, they calm me. I sigh as my muscles all seem to loosen at once.

"K'Vella," Essa says my name again, but it's so hard for me to answer her when the temptation to fall back asleep is right there as the soft rumblings lull me into a calmness that I don't think I've ever felt before.

There's movement in the room, and then a low growl replaces the soft rumbling. It doesn't last long, but it startles me enough to open my eyes again. Holoth is standing now. The muscles on his back tense and flex. His shoulders heave as he takes deep breaths, and again, the low rumble of a growl fills the air.

Oh, the growl, the calming sound—they all come from Holoth.

Strange.

I lift my head enough to see what he's so upset about, and that's when I see the two Varon males standing in the entryway of this small medical room. I focus on the dark bands wrapped around their arms. Proof that these males have either found a bonded mate or they've chosen to devote themselves to one without the bond.

One of them smiles brightly before shooting me a small wave and disappearing back down the hall. The other stays firmly planted, taking up all the space he can with his four arms crossed over his chest.

"Get out," Holoth snarls, his presence growing to match the perceived threat he seems to think the Varon male poses.

Essa's at ease watching the two interact with one another. She leans against a wall, her tail lazily flicking back and forth between her legs as the males size one another up and stare at each other.

There's no danger to me here. Not from this Varon male. The markings on his skin prove he's devoted to someone else. He won't want anything to do with me. Varon males are nothing if not loyal to those they choose.

I shift where I'm lying, no longer calm and ready for sleep without the soft vibrations to lull me into slumber. A thin blanket covers my body, and on top of it is a thick fur that smells of a warm and sweet spice from my planet. It's mostly used during the cold holidays, reminding me of celebrations that even my mother and sister couldn't spoil.

I pull the fur higher up and press my nose into it, inhaling it deep until the cozy feeling fills me. The sound of my sniffing or the movement catches Holoth's attention. He glances at me from the corner of his eyes over his shoulder. I think he smiles for a second, but then he turns back to Varon and snaps his teeth at him.

"She should be fine," Essa says.

She lets out a huff of a laugh and moves to stand between the two males. She braces her hands on either side of her, separating the males and making it seem like a fight might break out at any moment. Between them, she's as tall as Holoth and just barely shorter than the Varon if her horns don't count for her height.

"I don't think there's any reason Alik needs to interfere, do you?" Essa keeps her attention on Holoth, who's still just as tensed, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Her pupils constrict a fraction, their length remaining the same but thinning to reveal more of her bright yellow iris.

"I want to know if Holoth's going to forgive himself if I let him loose on her?" the Varon in the doorway, Alik, snaps at Holoth and adds his growl into the mix as though that's what this room needs even more of. Nothing could help this situation more than the rumblings of aggressive males. "I need to know what you're thinking right now and how far you think you are from falling into your rut. It's for all of our safety. You know you're about to get territorial, so I need to know."

My chest flushes a bright violet at the thought of the shirtless Rytharian male going into a rut because that's exactly what I'm here for. I'm wondering if no one knows why I came. They have to, right? They wouldn't have let me onto this ship without knowing why I'm here. There's no reason for them to let a stranger join them.

Sure, Via told me she cleared it with someone, but with how the three crew members I've met so far are acting, I don't think any of them know that I very much would like this male in front of me to use me for his rut. I'm still deciding if I find him handsome or not, but that can grow on me.

I know I like how protective he seems to be over me already. I also know he makes a soft purring sound that calms and relaxes me. His body is nice, especially his backside. It fills out the leather pants he's wearing in such a way that I wouldn't mind using my lower hands to hold him close to me as he tries to impregnate me. Yes, I think that would be nice.

Everyone's attention snaps over to me like I've said something, and I realize too late that I said, "That would be nice," out loud.

My eyes go wide as I look around the room, not stopping until they land on the strange two-eyed man in front of me, shirtless and looking at me like he isn't struggling with deciding if he finds me attractive or not.

"I'm so glad you're talking now." Essa beams. "I don't know how long Holoth will allow the rest of us to be near you, but I do feel like I need to make sure you are aware that there's a male here who's close to going into a rut and that our friend has told us you wish to be with him."

The burning in my chest is my blood trying to turn all of me a deep violet color in embarrassment. It's not that I care about them knowing my reason for being here since we're all adults and know how children are made. It's more so that we have to talk it through right now when tensions are so high.

"Yes, I'm here to help a Rytharian through his rut," I say, keeping my gaze on Holoth's and feeling a little proud of myself when the warm vibrations begin in his chest again. It's loud and soothing and so wonderful as it lulls me into peace.

"You know your species are not compatible?" Essa asks.

The question has me frowning. I don't want to go into all the details because it's none of their business.

Well, none of their business except for Holoth's. He might be worried he's going to hurt me or that I might be more of a tease than anything else through his rut. I can see a flicker of concern in his eyes, and it helps me give them some answers that might make it easier for them to know I'm telling them the truth about being able to be with Holoth.

"I've been altered to carry Rytharian young," I say. "I can assure you, there will be no physical incompatibilities between us."

The answer is enough for Essa, who shrugs and moves toward the door where she's now trying to shoo Alik. His gaze narrows on me, and a flicker of recognition sparks deep in my mind.

I doubt I know him since I only went through a few houses before I became sick, and I don't remember seeing him at any of the housing ceremonies. I would remember Alik if I were housed with him or his male partner. He also has bond marks around his wrists and elbows, making it clear he's found a female.

He opens his mouth to say something but just shakes his head and shoots another look at Holoth.

"Pleasure crew rules," he says before tossing a silver pendant at Holoth, who grabs it and fists the jewelry. "I'm sure it's hard now, but you need rules, especially if what Sloane told us is true."

He gazes down at me one last time before patting the doorframe and leaving. Essa files out behind him, her tail swishing softly as she leaves.

As soon as Holoth and I are alone again, the purr vibrates louder in his chest. He doesn't move closer to me, but his blue eyes burn something fierce.

I decide I don't mind that he's missing an eye and a whole pair of arms. He's a handsome male in his own way, and I think I could enjoy his physical companionship.

His throat works as he takes a deep gulp. He opens his fist, the silver pendant lying in the center. I've seen them before and know all the pleasure crew rules. I wanted to become one before I learned they had rules about birth control.

I hold my hand out and wait for Holoth to set the pendant in my hand. He's slow about it like he's unsure what to do with it or what I plan on doing with it.

"Have you ever had a pleasure crew?" I ask, looking up at him with all three of my eyes.

When his cheeks flush a soft pink color, I take that as his embarrassed flush. How unfortunate that it appears on his face instead of his chest, like mine. At least I can hide when I've flushed.

I guess it wouldn't help him since he isn't wearing a shirt right now. The reminder of that fact has my eyes lowering to take in more of his physique. He's a well-built male. I wouldn't be surprised if he's housed many females.

"No, no pleasure crew." He clears his throat, and it has me lifting my eyes back up to his face.

I should be a bit more embarrassed that I'm so blatantly lusting after his body, but it's one of the less embarrassing things I've done today. He already knows I'm here with the intent of having him impregnate me. It'd be unfortunate if I didn't find him attractive.

"None?" I ask, more surprised than I have a right to be.

He's a fine specimen by Varon standards. His muscles are well formed, he holds himself proudly, and he was eager to protect me when another male was near. I don't know about his species, but I can't see him being undesirable.

"Hard to find one compatible."

He clears his throat again, and it becomes clear he's uncomfortable with the conversation. Either because he's embarrassed or he doesn't enjoy discussing past relationships. I don't push for anymore, but he continues even though he seems as though he doesn't want to.

"There's a tradition amongst my kind. The first time we lay with a female, we're meant to be in our rut." He swallows hard, refusing to look directly at me. "It's hard to find someone willing to be with a male when he's like that. Especially someone not used to our customs or how our dynamics shift during heats and ruts."

I've researched enough about how Rytharians can act during ruts since it's the time I'm most likely to conceive. Nothing about it is off-putting to me.

I nod along to everything he's saying, knowing it must be important for him if he's forcing himself to tell me everything. It isn't until my third nod during his silence that realization finally hits me.

"Holoth, am I the first female you'll be with?" I ask in my softest voice, not trying to scare the male, who now looks less intimidating.

Not that I was very intimidated. He's around my height, and he's missing two arms. Depending on his genetic makeup, there might be a chance I could take him in a fight. I do have two extra appendages, and that counts for a lot.

Holoth opens his mouth to speak, but instead of answering my question, he changes the topic. "I can show you where you'll be sleeping. You arrived during our scheduled night. I don't know what time it was on your planet, but the rest of the crew will be asleep for the next few hours."

"I could sleep."

I swing my legs from the small medical bed and touch the coolness of the ship's metal flooring. Someone must've taken off my shoes when I passed out, but besides that, I'm still fully clothed. I stand, and my hand lingers on the fur, wanting to take it with me since it smells so good and is warm and soft.

"Take the fur," Holoth says, his eyes simmering with something I can't exactly place, but it tells me I should do what he says.

As soon as I fist the fur and hold it tight to my chest, Holoth purrs his appreciation. I wonder if there's anything I won't do if he asks when he looks like that and offers promises of sweet purrs if I do as he commands.

"Have you been with a Rytharian?"

Holoth places a hand on my lower back and guides me through the ship's halls. The warmth of his hand seeps through the thin fabric of my dress, and I smile at how nice it feels.

"No, you'll be my first," I say, flushing when I realize he might feel called out by the statement.

Instead, he seems almost proud, his chest swelling slightly, and he stands taller. I admire him out of the corner of my eyes and don't miss that he's doing the same to me.

"You should know my kind can be very demanding of our females," he says with no hint of cockiness or a faux sense of aiming to seem like a dominant lover. A couple of the males I was housed with before said the same things, but it was clear they didn't feel as confident in themselves as they let on. "You should acquaint yourself with a Rytharian male in a rut so you're not surprised when I finally come to you."

"How should I go about becoming acquainted with it?" I ask.

I try not to let my mind wander to the silly answer of the various sites I could find on my comm tablet that could show me in great quality how a Rytharian male acts in his rut. Holoth must be thinking of something that isn't quite so crass when he tells me to look for it.

Instead, he rubs the back of his neck, and his face flushes a brighter shade of pink. So he means for me to look for it on my comm. I should let him be. I shouldn't push anymore, but I've never been a female ashamed of the normal needs we all have. It might embarrass Holoth, but he'll learn that there's not much he needs to be embarrassed about around me.

I enjoy when a male feels like he can be his authentic self with me, just as I hope to find a male that I can be that way around. Plus, it'll take much more than that to scare me off. Varon males can be rough and demanding, especially if they allow themselves to lose themselves in their female.

"Do you think you could help me find some of these resources?" I ask, looking up at him with my most innocent expression.

I want to see if I can get him to flush a little pinker before our journey to my room ends. I've always enjoyed teasing males, and I hope Holoth is a male who enjoys being teased.

"Yeah, sure, uh, I can help you with search words." He rubs the back of his neck harder and doesn't look over at me. It's quite impressive how much he's attempting not to look at me.

"Are you sure you don't have something in mind?" I ask, pouting softly. "I'm sure you know of good educational resources. Whichever is your favorite will be perfect for me."

"My favorite?" He coughs into his hand, and a look of relief flashes on his face when he stops in front of a door. "Here's where you're staying," he says too quickly. "It's my room, but it's filled with my smell. It'll help your body grow used to me. It's said to help females conceive."

The door slides open, and I'm met with a slightly messy room that has Holoth's eyes widening. He steps around me, muttering apologies as he starts tidying the room. The bed is a sort of shallow bowl set into the floor. Inside is filled with a soft-looking mattress covered in a plethora of furs, pillows, and blankets, begging me to curl up in them.

"You may do what you want with the nest. Females of my species are particular about them, but I don't know if that calls to you. As you can see, I'm not particular about it, so long as there are enough pillows and furs to be comfortable," Holoth rambles. "I'd recommend sleeping with at least one fur close to you. Preferably, you should always keep one on you so your body begins to associate the smell with comfort and safety. It's meant to help with conception."

"Mhm, you said that." I step into the room, closer to Holoth, and notice that his entire body tenses as I take up space in his living area. "Are you staying in here with me?"

"Gods," he mutters under his breath and then turns away from me in a hurry to tidy up some other part of the room. "No, I think it's best if I'm not here unless I'm in my rut."

He's probably right. Rytharians are most likely to conceive when the male is in rut and the female is in heat. I'm altered, but not in a way that would have me going through heats. I know it's possible for some species to be altered that way, but I won't have much use for a heat after I'm pregnant. That leaves Holoth's rut as the best time for me to conceive.

"Where will you stay then?" I ask.

"The pleasure crew room is open." Holoth shrugs. "It's where you would've stayed, but it smells of the last female and her mates."

My stomach tightens with an emotion I'm not quite familiar with at the thought of him being somewhere that smells of someone who isn't me. I don't know why it's important to me, but he's big on not letting me sniff anything that isn't him, so I should be allowed to feel the same.

His brows rise on his forehead as he realizes I might have an issue with it, and then he stands tall again, like this is some compliment on him as a male.

"Don't worry. I can't smell much." He taps his nose, where a small device is clipped between his nostrils. "It's a scent blocker since Avery has heats. Her pheromones are very strong. I can't smell anything anymore, but I'm sure you smell delicious."

My chest flushes at his strange compliment. It makes me feel warm inside in a way I'm not used to. Holoth smiles to himself like he's slowly returning to a confident version of himself the longer we interact.

I like it. I like how he stands tall and flexes his muscles when my eyes land on them. I like that his gaze stays on me, and I like his smell coating every inch of me now that I'm in his room.

His lips tick up higher on one side, but he says nothing else. He walks over to a closet and grabs a fur that he tosses over his shoulders. His purr rumbles low in his chest when he catches me still staring at him.

"I'll be down the hall three doors," he says as he walks toward the bedroom door. "If you need anything, you come to me."

I lean out the bedroom door as he walks back down the hall. "Holoth!" I call out, and he turns around quickly, confusion and worry flickering on his features. "What if I need help finding those videos of Rytharians in rut?"

His face turns scarlet again, and his eyes widen as he looks around the hall like someone might've heard what I asked him. He opens his mouth to say something but must think better of it because he closes it and turns around, saying nothing to me. I laugh to myself, knowing I embarrassed him with my teasing.

I close the door and plop into the middle of his bed. The pleasure crew necklace is still in my hand. I slip it over my head and click the glow to the green color, making it clear to Holoth if he has any questions about whether I'm interested in being with him. I laugh to myself, knowing he'll have gotten a comm notification about the color change if he's synced to the pendant already.

I lay in bed, sniffing at the soft things surrounding me. After a few minutes, I realize one of the pillows would be better in a different spot. Once I start with that, I can't stop until everything is exactly where it needs to be. Not that I know what I'm doing, but a feeling inside me guides me in putting everything where it makes the most sense.

I hear my comm ping at some point, but I'm too focused on making the bed perfect to check it. This is too important, and I need everything to be just right. It isn't until I finish with the bed that I finally check my comm messages.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Attached to the message are three videos that are educational in the best possible way. I snuggle into the bed and watch all three, taking the best mental notes in case I'm tested over it tomorrow.

It's late, so it's no surprise that I fall asleep curled up in the middle of the bed with the comm tablet playing Rytharian porn.