1. KVella

one

K'Vella

I t's unfair that I'm expected to sleep when there's a chance I could get a message that will change my life. I've been rolling around in my bed, trying to make myself comfortable for what feels like hours now. My lower arms feel like they're in the way, and my upper arms are too cold outside the blanket and too warm inside.

My comm tablet taunts me from its charging port on my nightstand. I keep waiting for the green glow of a notification to light up my room. I try turning my back on it, but that lasts only a moment before I check over my shoulder to make sure I haven't missed a message.

When I crawled into bed, I should've turned notifications off for the night. A part of me hopes to hear from Via before I fall asleep, but that hope is dying. She's probably already asleep. I can't help but wait for the message, though.

When a green light blips in the corner of my comm, I don't believe it at first. I rub my three eyes and then blink a few times like I can prove that I imagined the notification.

The green light blinks again. I scramble in my bedsheets so fast that the blankets fly to the foot of the bed, my nightgown rucks up my thighs, and my upper hands hit the nightstand so hard it rattles against the wall as I grab the comm.

There's a chance it's not Via messaging me about changing my life. But if I don't check it, I won't sleep tonight. It's probably a spam message, some advertisement, or worse, a message from my sister reminding me I'm no longer a real Varon female.

My stomach twists at the thought of my sister messaging me, and I try to push it as far from my mind as possible. I won't let it sour my mood before I know if it's her.

I keep my interactions with Kiena as sparse as possible. That doesn't stop her from reaching out occasionally to remind me of what I lost and how great her life still is. If her life is so great, she shouldn't be messaging me to make me feel worse. Then again, I've never understood my sister or her motivations for most of the things she does.

Thankfully, the message on the comm screen takes all my prior thoughts, balls them into a tiny little speck, and flicks them away as though they don't matter. Because they don't anymore. Nothing is as important as the message on my comm.

I found a male that I think might work. Would you be willing to act as a pleasure crew?

The message from Via has my heart skipping. This could be my chance to have everything I've ever wanted. I can start my own little family and not have to worry about the pitying looks or the cruel words said behind my back—some of the cruelest coming from my sister straight to my face.

Yes, anything. When?

I send the message and stare at the glowing screen in the darkness of my room. There's nothing I wouldn't do to start my family. I'll be a pleasure crew, move to another planet, or perform in a mating ceremony. I don't care so long as, at the end of all of this, I have a child I can love.

Varon females are expected to participate in housing ceremonies. It's a tradition for our females to live with a pair of males for six months. After they've spent time together, the groups can either decide to house the female for longer, make their arrangement permanent by mating, or go their separate ways. It's a strange custom for outsiders to understand, but it works here on Varon, where males outnumber females two to one.

The housing ceremonies were created hundreds of years ago in an effort to create more bonded pairs and to help produce more offspring. Varon conception rates are low, but switching partners often allows us to check our compatibility with a variety of different males.

Some females go through the housing ceremony only a few times before they find males to settle down with, while others enjoy the pampering and the attention of new males and stay in the ceremonies their entire lives. There's nothing wrong with either option.

I was looking for a pair of males to spend my life and start a family. Which never happened.

No, after only a few housing ceremonies, I found out I was ill. My sickness was a common disease amongst my kind that's easily treated if caught quickly enough. I ignored the symptoms, thinking there was no way I could be affected by something like that when I was still so young. At twenty-two, I went into a medical pod to keep me alive, and nine years later, it's still greatly affecting me.

Now, I live in one of the houses for unmated females who have chosen not to go through the housing ceremonies for whatever reasons. Some are like me and can't traditionally conceive children anymore. Others prefer the company of other females, and others still just choose not to be with males for whatever reason.

I attempted to go through the housing ceremony again after I was discharged from medical housing nearly eight years ago. I had to disclose that I wouldn't be able to conceive Varon children. It made it more difficult to find males willing to house me.

I'm only in my thirty-first year of life, so if it weren't for my illness, I'd still be a prime companion for housing.

I thought there might be some who wouldn't care about my inability to conceive Varon children. Maybe a pair who might be willing to take a chance on me and try to start a family.

I was wrong. Or at least all of the males in the ninth district had no interest in me. I attempted to apply for other district housing ceremonies, but due to my condition, I was rejected.

I still want to find a male or males to spend my life with, to have children with. I thought there might be some who were looking for the same, even if any children we had wouldn't be Varon. In the fifteen housing ceremonies I've participated in since my surgery, no one has ever offered to house me.

No one spoke to me at the last ceremony except Kiena, who told me I looked like I was aging and miserable. That night, I decided to try a different tactic to see if someone not on Varon might be willing to help me.

That night, I got in contact with Pleasure Crew Enterprises. I thought there would be males desperate enough for companionship that I could find someone willing to offer me what I want in exchange for companionship.

Instead, I learned that birth control was one of the main pillars of the pleasure crew's rules. Even if I alter myself to conceive another species young, Pleasure Crew Enterprises doesn't allow their crew to be without protection from it. Which is fair enough. I suppose they don't want their employees or clients dealing with pregnancies that they don't want. But I do want it.

Their rules didn't stop me from trying to plead my case to Via, the Straxion female in charge of helping me with my paperwork, which ended up getting rejected. It wasn't so much a pleading as it was me begging her to help because I didn't know what else to do.

Via told me she thought she might be able to help me but that it would need to be kept quiet and that it wouldn't be going through very legal channels. Maybe it should have been a red flag, but I'm desperate. I'm so desperate that I'm waiting for Via to message me back. If she says I need to be ready to go right this second, I'll be ready to go right this second.

It's not like anyone here will miss me. Kiena is busy being housed in different males' houses every few months, and my mother is busy telling Kiena how wonderful she is. I doubt either of them will even register I'm not planet side until I've been gone for weeks.

My brothers are coming to pick you up. Let me know when you're headed to the shipyard. They're going through the customs agent now.

Via's message catches me by surprise, but my surprise lasts only a moment before I move around my room, grabbing anything I think might be important. I have a go-bag ready with a few outfits that should stretch as my body grows and a good chunk of credits that I should be able to use to get transport back to Varon once I'm pregnant.

There's one thing I have always wanted. The problem with Varon conception is that it's difficult. It's almost impossible now that I've had important parts removed from my anatomy. That hasn't stopped me from finding a way to get what I want.

For eight years, I've tried to do this the legal way. For the last six months, I've been working with Via in a less legal way. She's my last hope, and I'm willing to risk anything to build my future and my family.

I send a message through a transportation service to have a ride pick me up from the shared housing. When it pings to alert me that my ride will be here in fifteen minutes, I message Via, telling her I'm about to head up to the Varon docking port. It's not one of the bigger ports, and it's the middle of the night, so I doubt anyone will be up there except for Via's brothers.

I write a note and leave it on my dresser. It's brief and tells the other women in the house to give my room to another female who doesn't want to go through the housing ceremonies. I don't want them to think they need to save my room for me. If I have my way, I'll be moved into a single mother's unit when I return.

I debate writing that I'm not being kidnapped so they don't worry, but the more I think about it, the more worrisome adding it seems. I feel like the only person who says they aren't being kidnapped is someone who's definitely being kidnapped. I leave the sparse note on my dresser, hoist my bag up in my left arms, and make my way outside to wait for my transport.

The trip to the dockyard is short. While I'm traveling to the edges of Varon's atmosphere, I flip through Via's latest message. There's a picture attached to the message. Four males, who all look slightly like Via with their black hair so dark it's almost blue, their pale orange skin, and their tails all at various stages of swishing in the air when the picture was taken.

The four males are in the middle of messing with one another. Their hands are in the air, and their faces morph with laughs and smiles as they mess with one another. Via's in the picture, ducking down in the middle of the group, hands over her head, like chaos is about to ensue.

Here's a picture of who's picking you up. If they don't look and sound like idiots, don't get on their ship. The picture was taken about five years ago before they left to start their crew. They wear a lot more jewelry now and act tougher than they are. They should be respectful. If not, message me, and I'll take care of it.

I look back over the picture, making sure I know what the males look like. The transport docks in the loading zone of the shipyard, and I take a peek out before getting out. Just as I suspected, there's only one ship up here and no one else.

Thankfully, Via's brothers must realize how sketchy this all seems because they're all four standing outside the ship, waiting for me.

Via was right about them wearing more jewelry now. Each male has at least three rings on each hand, and a few of them are wearing multiple chains around their necks. The lights from the port hit one of them just right, making the gems adoring his nipples sparkle.

My chest turns violet, but thankfully, I'm wearing a more conservative top, so my flush is hidden.

"Via's brothers?" I ask as I step out of the transport. My voice is quiet, but considering I'm the only person besides them in the shipyard, they're paying full attention to me.

"K'Vella?" the male with the nipple piercings calls my name.

My chest flushes even more. This is what happens when I haven't been given male attention in almost a decade. I'm getting warm just seeing a shirtless male.

"Yes, that's me," I say, grabbing my bags and slinging them over my left arms.

I hold out my lower right hand to shake his, but he's already turning around and doesn't see me. I cringe internally at the awkward blunder but recover quickly since no one saw it. The three other brothers turn when the first does.

The jewelry doesn't end on their fingers and necks. All four have a few chains and rings on their tails, making me wonder why they dress up as they do. It's preening, it must be, but they're the only ones on the crew. At least, I don't think there are any others for them to try to entice.

"Kor will show you to the navigation pit. You should get buckled in and stay there. We have one jump to get to the ship we're dropping you off at," the male with the nipple piercings says before ducking down a different hallway and leaving me with who I assume is Kor.

"Do you want me to take one of those?" Kor offers, pointing at the bags in my arms.

"No, thank you," I say in my most polite voice.

It's been a while since anyone's interacted with me at the housing ceremonies, but I still remember some of my manners regarding being around males. Kor isn't a Varon male, but how different could things be?

I was always rated highly as a female to house, and I had many males who wished to court me until things went badly. I miss the companionship that came with trying to find a pair of males to bond with. There was never a moment where I had to be alone if I didn't want to be. Now, I'm nothing but alone most of every day.

"My sister said you're looking for someone to knock you up," Kor says over his shoulder as he walks through the ship toward the navigation pit.

I choke on my surprise. Okay, so maybe these males are different. Varon males are never the ones to bring up coupling. It's always on the female to tell them when she's available for that kind of thing. None are ever as vulgar as asking me about getting knocked up, either. That's talk saved for after you've agreed to be with a male in a more physical sense.

Not that I'm prudish about the words used during lovemaking, because I'm not. I enjoy a male who can use his words to get me warm, but Kor is not that male.

"That's one way to put it, yes. I'm looking for a species compatible with my predicament."

Kor leads me through one last door and then motions for me to take a seat wherever I want. He loads my bags into a storage bin. When he turns to face me, his lips kick up in a charming smile, and he dramatically places his hands on his hips.

"No judgment from us. If you ever decide to give Straxions a go, you have my sister's number. I'd be more than happy to try to get you pregnant."

"Shut up, Kor." Another of the males comes into the room and throws a bottle of something at Kor's head. He ducks and laughs before chasing the bottle down and taking a swig from it. "Ignore him. He hasn't been around women in too long."

"As much as I'd like to say that isn't true." Kor sighs and plops down into his navigation seat. "It's so true." He types out something in the navigation comm's coordinates log, and the ship begins to rumble back to life. "You sure you don't want to stick with us, K'Vella?"

I open my mouth to tell him I'm very sure that there's only one species I have any chance of being impregnated by, but I don't get the chance as the navigation pit doors open again. The other two brothers come walking in. Nipple piercings checks to see if I'm buckled in and tightens the straps between my arms. He takes the seat next to me and gives Kor a simple nod.

Kor lets out a whoop. "Hang on tight. We're going to see how close we can get to them. Via's still seeing if they need our help, so they might not even know who we are if she hasn't gotten ahold of them yet."

"Is that safe?" I ask.

The sound of the ship stirring to life and preparing for a jump is so loud my question is drowned out.

No sooner do I close my eyes and clench my teeth does the sensation and the sounds stop, leaving us floating in the middle of nowhere space. I crack my eyes open and let out a gasp as I see the minuscule space between our airlock and the airlock of the ship we're meeting with.

"I think that's a record!" Kor hollers as he jumps from his seat. "Ixor, that's a record, right?"

Nipple piercings, Ixor, frowns at his brother before unbuckling himself. He turns to me and helps me with my buckles.

As soon as I'm free, I sway on my feet. I'm faintly aware of one of the males asking if I'm okay, me weakly saying to give me a moment, and then the world is dark.