Chapter 9

Moira

After Hannah and I eat, I take her to the bathroom so she can take a bath. We're in a downstairs area that's been modified. I'd say it's a basement, but I was under the impression that those weren't very popular in Texas. However, that's what it looks like to me. Knowing these sick freaks, they probably paid good money to have some sort of underground bunker built. There are several rooms that have bunk beds in them for the older children, along with others that contain toddler beds and cribs. The bathroom has multiple shower stalls, as well as three bathtubs.

I find it somewhat amusing that they go to all this effort for the children, but the women who they're using are kept in squalor, their rooms little more than cells, with cots for beds, buckets for toilets, and little else. They don't worry about whether or not the women are clean, so showers are pretty much nonexistent.

Although, it's not funny in the whole scheme of things when I think about the why behind what they're doing with the women and children. It's all to propagate their cause. All I know is this time around, even though I suspect my end result will still be the same, outside of the original beating I got when I was captured, as well as the branding, I've been treated far better than I was before.

The irony isn't lost on me is that I was treated like a whore by them the first time, but because I spent time with a group of bikers, they are now calling me one. Yet, those bikers were kinder to me than any man has ever been in my entire life. Of course, having a father like mine did set the bar somewhat low. However, I did meet some men in college who were nice. My problem was that I couldn't lower my guard enough to trust that they wouldn't hurt me, nor tell them any of my darkest secrets.

As Hannah plays in the bubble bath, my mind continues to wander, right back to where it's been going—Kracken.

Somehow, he snuck underneath my high built defenses, which I thought were impenetrable. Yet, every little thing he did during the time we were together, chipped away until I had no other choice but leave.

Fear.

I left because I was afraid.

Of him.

Of my past.

Of how he was making me feel.

Because what if I did start talking and he decided he didn't want me around? What if he hurt me like all the men in my past have done?

He's the kind of man I dreamt about, the one who I kept buried in my hopes and dreams after they were so resoundingly crushed when I was taken captive. Belle and I spent hours discussing the type of man we wanted. Kracken ticks off every box, except those of an intimate nature, of course, since we've never so much as held hands let alone kissed.

I finally found the man I didn't know I was searching for; I just hope it's not too late.

"They're coming to save us, Moira," Hannah says inside my head. "Us and my Uncle Mammoth. He's hurt really bad, though."

I glance at her to see she looks sad, her hand momentarily arrested in midair as she sees whatever it is she's looking at, before she picks up the washcloth and starts bathing again.

"It's almost over,"she whispers. "Then, you'll be ready to talk again, Moira, because the bad people will never hurt you again. Our family will make sure of it."

Her innocent comment has something fluttering deep in my belly, something that's been missing for a very long time now—hope.

Because I know Kracken isn't coming by himself, he's bringing plenty of his brothers along with him. I don't know what chapter they're coming from, but judging by the fact we're in Texas, and I know Selah's old man is from the Cedar Creek chapter, I suspect they'll be along as well. And since Dragon and Wrecker are there, they'll be able to do what Hannah said; help me finish reclaiming myself.

"Will you wash my hair for me?" Hannah asks in my mind.

I nod and pick up the cup that's on the side of the tub as she tilts her little head back, closing her eyes. I lose myself in the comforting sensation of washing the little girl's hair, idly wondering if I'll ever do that with my own child.

Can I even have children after all I've been through? It's something I've wondered but was too scared to try and find out. I mean, if Angel healed me, wouldn't that healing be throughout my body?

Question after question pummels me, until Hannah reaches over and grips my hand.

"First, it's just going to be you and Kracken for a long time, since you have other things to heal from,"she says. "Then, when the time is right, it'll happen. You'll be a good mom, Moira. Look how you take care of me."

* * *

Hope.

It's a dangerous thing, because when it starts, the flames lick higher and higher. As Hannah sleeps in her bed with me by her side as she insisted, I replay her words over and over in my head.

Is it true? Are the Royal Bastards on their way to rescue us and someone called Mammoth? Will Kracken and I really be an us? With children further down the road?

I think of little boys who look like him, growing up surrounded by some of the best people I've ever met. Learning how to treat people the right way, being secure in themselves no matter what they end up doing, just living their absolute best lives with no worries.

It sounds like… Heaven. And knowing that I might be there, living that life alongside my best friend is miraculous.

I just hope… well, I hope that Belle will forgive me for my lackluster behavior before I ran. I cringe a little when I remember all the ways I snubbed her while staying at the clubhouse. I saw her tears, watched her crumble in Jingles' arms when I wouldn't respond. I was… no, I am a horrible friend. She endured being mistreated just like I did, yet she isn't locked with manacles and a muzzle inside her head, refusing to utter a solitary word.

"Sleep, Moira. She wasn't treated like you were, and she feels guilty about that,"Hannah's voice whispers. "We have to be ready for tomorrow."

She's right, we do have to be ready for whatever tomorrow brings. Makes me wonder what she knows that she hasn't shared. She's a mystery, one I don't think I'll ever be capable of understanding. As Hannah curls into my side, I place my arm around her, kiss her head, then settle in to get some sleep.