Chapter 16

Cragnorr

T wo whole days pass before the next arena fight. Once again I’m fed scraps, just enough to get by on.

When the battalion of guards comes to retrieve their victims, I’m not chosen. No, Pa’zi’s and Bino’s cages are the ones opened, and the human man eagerly steps out, thrilled for his chance to redeem himself. I don’t understand how anyone could walk into that pit with such enthusiasm knowing it’s kill-or-be-killed.

“Bye,” Pa’zi says to us as she’s led out. “If I don’t see you again, it was my displeasure knowing you.”

“Same to you,” the orc says, and she laughs.

Pa’zi wields a morning star, the ball end covered in spikes. The moment the door falls open and they step out into the arena, the crowd goes wild.

“She’s a favorite,” Fex explains to me. “Fights like a demon.”

I search the faces all around the edge of the pit for Mia, but she is not at the King’s side like before .

I hope something terrible hasn’t happened to her. I clench the bars of my cage tightly as I watch the fighters circle one another in the pit.

This has a poor ending, no matter what happens. I don’t want to see either of them dead.

As he did in our fight, Bino lunges first. Pa’zi spins out of the way, the chain of her weapon spinning around her like a ribbon. It swings into Bino’s back as he runs past her, and he lets out a horrifying cry. It happens so fast I can barely keep track.

Pa’zi springs away, as quick and lithe as a deer, as Bino stumbles forward. He quickly rights himself, but there’s blood trailing down his spine.

“Bitch!” he snarls, and this time, he waits for her to come to him, instead. The trolless, already growing bored, rushes him with the ball of her morning star flying through the air.

Miraculously, Bino raises the flat of his axe just in time to protect himself. Pa’zi is momentarily unbalanced as her weapon fails to meet its target. In this small opening, Bino dives for her, striking with his axe.

She screams as it buries itself in her side. But even with a puncture wound deep in her flesh, she flicks her arm, sending her weapon sailing through the air. With all of his attention focused on doing damage, Bino doesn’t even think to react defensively.

There’s a terrible crunching as the spiked metal ball connects with his skull.

Bino stands there, the morning star lodged in his head, staring at nothing. Pa’zi whips her arm back and it disconnects, the spikes tearing free of his flesh. My heart wrenches as Bino’s legs give way underneath him, and he collapses to the ground with only half of a face.

The crowd goes wild as Pa’zi attempts to stride proudly around the arena, but she’s limping as her side bleeds. She makes her way back to the door where she entered, and there the guards lead her inside.

To my surprise, a healer is brought in to treat her.

“Can’t let one of the King’s fighters die,” she mutters as the man stitches her up, then applies a poultice to the outside of the wound. She’s given a pillow to lie on in her cage, and I wonder if she’ll survive.

I watch as out in the pit, Bino’s body is dragged away. He never made it long enough to get his freedom.

When will my time to go out into the arena come? Will they use Mia once again to taunt me? Will my body be dragged away someday, too?

I won’t let that happen.

Mia

Over the next few days, Zake observes me keenly. He leaves me tied in the corner of his dingy little house, even when he leaves, and occasionally Narria comes to bring me food. At some point she convinces the King to let me stretch my legs.

“She’ll be no good to you if she’s weak and sick,” Narria argues, and Zake rolls his eyes but agrees.

As Narria and I walk around the camp, I pepper her with questions. “Has there been another arena fight?” I ask, hoping to glean some information about Cragnorr’s well-being.

Narria grunts. “Yes, but your ogre is not on the docket. He’s too valuable now.”

I know exactly what she means. The King wants him as a stud horse, and he can’t risk him dying in the pit. My stomach is roiling in anticipation of this “visit” with Cragnorr. I long to see him, but the idea of what the King wants from us makes me nauseous .

I try to keep my nerves in check and take in what I can as we walk. The camp is perpetually busy, and even in the daytime people are drinking. There are arguments and laughter, and in one tent, just as loud, a man is moaning and crying out as he’s pleasured. It makes a shudder run through me, thinking of what tomorrow holds.

But if these are the circumstances under which I can see him... My heart needs to be near Cragnorr again.

On our walk we pass the bolted door that leads down, into the dark chamber where the King is keeping him. There’s someone posted outside, a woman sitting atop a barrel with a bored look on her face. I wonder if she has a key on her, or if she simply stands sentinel.

Once we reach the front gates, Narria turns around again and we continue back the way we came. There are two guards up in the tower, but one looks half-asleep. Perhaps I’ve overestimated them.

At the gates, a crew is loading up horses with supplies and yoking them to wagons. Narria stops to make chit-chat as they prepare for their journey. I gather that the bandits usually roam the mountain pass near here, waiting for travelers and caravans on their way to the lowlands. They take what they can in surprise attacks, and leave before their victims can even think to fight back. Sometimes they travel further afield to contested territory, where they can kidnap trollkin for the King’s arena.

Once again we return to Zake’s house, where I’m tied up in the corner.

It’s hard to sleep that night. I’m tingling with anticipation at the idea of seeing Cragnorr again, and dreading what we’ll have to do.

There’s no way I can bring a child into this world just to be Zake’s toy. The idea horrifies me down to my very bones. I need a plan.

Cragnorr

I don’t sleep well after watching Pa’zi murder Bino. Pa’zi’s breaths come heavy in the cage beside mine, and I hope she makes it. And I can’t stop wondering where Mia is—and why I didn’t see her today at the arena.

After many hours of agonizing, I’m able to drift off, thinking of Mia sleeping on my chest. But not long after, I’m startled awake by the stout woman with the baton rapping on my cage.

“Come on, big guy,” she says. “I have a special job for you.”

I don’t like the sound of this.

Clambering to my feet, the guards unchain my neck, then slap manacles on my wrists and ankles before leading me out. Instead of going toward the pit, as I expect, they lead me down, down to the same heavy steel door that kept Mia and I trapped in the chamber underneath the arena.

This time, when I go inside I find... a bed.

I blink at it, not sure what I’m seeing, and no one seems inclined to explain. A meal is brought for me, mostly meat. I’m surprised by this, too—but it also fills me with dread. What does that horrible man have planned now?

After I’ve finished eating, the tray is taken away. I wait, and wait, until suddenly, the door opens again.

In steps Mia. I rush towards her, ready to wrap her up in my arms again, but the miserable expression on her face stops me.

Something is very wrong.

Mia

I should be happy to see him. Overjoyed to be reunited with him, to get to touch him again. But it’s poisoned.

By the time Cragnorr reaches me, the tears I’ve kept at bay have finally broken free. He stops in front of me, worry etched across his face. He brings his hand down to my cheek to wipe the moisture from my eyes.

I’m about to explain when Gru walks in the room behind me, and the door closes. There’s suspicion in Cragnorr’s eyes as the little man crosses to a chair that seems to have been supplied specifically for this purpose.

“Well?” he says, when we’ve both stood there staring at him for a few moments. “Go on.”

Cragnorr’s brow creases. I rub the tears off my face and turn to him, taking a deep breath before I say what I have to say.

“That bastard, the King,” I whisper to him, and he leans down closer. “He wants... he wants to use us.” Unconsciously my hand travels down to my belly, where I imagine that poor creature growing.

But Cragnorr won’t understand. How could he? I’ve told him nothing about how babies are made. So, knowing Gru is listening, I try my best to express what the King wants. We’re merely warm bodies, just tools. Cragnorr’s confusion slowly fades into horror, and then anger as I tell him about the child that might be, and what Zake plans to use them for.

When I’m finished, Cragnorr bares his teeth at Gru, like he could rip the man’s face off. The little idiot has the sense to look concerned.

“The King will just punish you if you try,” I say, running my hand up and down my ogre’s arm to cool him off. “Or me.”

At this, Cragnorr’s anger fades into misery. He sits down on the bed, dropping his head into his hands, and I fold my legs under me beside him.

“We don’t have all day,” Gru calls out. “Get started!” Cragnorr snarls at him. “Think of it this way,” the nasty little man says, “as long as you’re valuable, the King won’t make you fight.” Gru waves a finger tauntingly back and forth. “So do what you’re told, dog, and you’ll get to keep your hide and your woman. You should be grateful. Otherwise, you’d never see her again.”

Cragnorr’s eyes rise up to mine, heavy and sad, and I wish I could protect him from this. I put my hands on either side of his face, urging him to look at me.

“Just pretend he’s not here,” I say, stroking from his wild hair down his cheeks to his wide, stern jaw. “Pretend it’s just me.”

With a heavy breath, Cragnorr loops his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap. He buries his face in my hair, his tusks framing my head. His hands spread apart, one sliding up over my breasts, the other down to my hips. He breathes hard a few times, then his fingers halt and fist in my clothes.

There is no telltale lump rising up between my legs. No, my ogre is too anxious. He can kill a lion, but he can’t force himself to do this.

“Gru,” I snap. He’s been staring at us, and I can’t shake the feeling of his eyes on me. “Get out. Nothing will happen while you’re here.”

He gives me a firm shake of his head. “No way. The King told me to stay and watch. To make sure.”

“Well, then the King isn’t going to get anything out of him.” I squeeze Cragnorr’s big fingers with mine. “He can’t be made to perform like a circus animal.”

Gru glances between us irritably. Then, with a grunt, he gets up and walks to the heavy door. On his way out he looks at me over his shoulder .

“I’ll be listening carefully, and I’ll know if you lie to me. Don’t mess this up, or the ogre will be the one to pay for it.”

Then the door falls closed.

Neither of us speaks after he leaves. I gently run a hand through Cragnorr’s hair, untangling it with my fingers. They haven’t even let him bathe since he’s been here.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur to him, turning my head to whisper into his ear. “This isn’t the way I want to be with you.”

He just nods in understanding, and clutches me tighter. I wish instead we could be out in the forest again, just the two of us lying in the grass, exploring each other’s bodies with an innocence we’ll never get back.

“Mia.”

The soft sound of his voice surprises me. He presses his lips to my shoulder as he curls down over me, his big hands covering my body. “Cragnorr? What is it?”

He doesn’t answer for some time, kissing the hollow of my throat, working his way up to my earlobe.

“Mia, you...” He swallows hard. “You... are my kagazen .”

I don’t recognize this word.

“ Kagazen ?” I ask carefully.

“My one. My only. My everything.” I think this is the most I’ve ever heard him speak at once. Cragnorr tucks his head against mine. “The one I was meant for, who was meant for me.”

This must be a Trollkin word. I get the sense it means more than just spouse or partner. No, whatever it is, it’s special to him.

When I think for a moment of finding Cragnorr in that tree, of lying with him in the grass, of how wildly he took me after the fight—I know he’s all of that to me, too.