Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Cam

"Cam."

I blink and look up from the television screen.

"Cupcake," I say quickly, setting my controller to the side and jumping up to my feet at the sight of Athena in my house after I told her I couldn't meet tonight. Worry has my stomach churning. "Is everything okay?"

She shifts, and sets a cat carrier down, Cookie giving a meow in protest. "I think you're the one who owes me that explanation." She moves over and pops me on the chest. "What the fuck, honey?"

The endearment strokes gentle fingers over my heart before the rest of the words process and grip tightly around the vulnerable organ.

"What do you mean?" I ask carefully.

She glares, pulls her phone out, and reads, "I'm too tired to meet up today? Really?"

I smother a wince and avoid the question by bending over and unzipping Cookie's carrier. He pops his head out immediately and shoves his face in my hand, demanding that I pet him. "It's not anything to do with you," I say quietly. "I had a rough day at the gym and?—"

"And you didn't think that's something I should know?" she snaps. "Something I could help you with?"

"I—"

"We're in a relationship Cameron Jackson," she continues, the words clipped out. "You said that's you're in love with me. Or has that changed?"

"I—"

"And you've gone and made me fall in love with you too!"

I freeze, hope a blistering wave through my veins. "What?"

She stills, her mouth dropping open. I watch as she takes a step back, another, before I snap out of it and burst into motion.

I'm across the room in a flash, so fast that Cookie hisses and swats at my ankles. I just ignore him, moving to Athena and wrapping my fingers around her wrist, holding her in place when she would have taken another pace back.

"What did you say?" I ask quietly.

She shakes her head. "I'm here for you. Here because I'm worried for you and you pushed me away. What happened?"

"Coach pulled me into his office and was an asshole." I shift my grip, cupping both of her shoulders and turning her to face me completely. "It got in my head, and I needed a couple of hours to decompress."

Her chin comes up. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

I slide my hands down, holding her waist, drawing her close, near enough to feel all of the soft of her against all of the hard of me. "Fair point, cupcake." I touch my nose to hers. "I should have told you." I press a brief kiss to that lush mouth. "Now," I murmur as I pull back, "what did you say?"

Her chest is rising and falling in rapid gusts and for a moment, I think she's not going to answer me.

But then exhales, drops her forehead against my shoulder, and says, "Why is this so fucking scary?"

"Because it's new. Because you were taught not to trust love. Because I've spent a decade in love with you and I'm long beyond the fear. I just…"

Her head lifts, eyes blazing with emotion as she holds my gaze.

"I just love you, cupcake. Every part of you I know and the secrets I'm still unearthing. You're…home. I'm never more settled or quiet or at peace as I am when I'm with you."

"Cam," she whispers.

"I love your strength and beauty and the fact that this is a big step. I love that you've let me in and that you're here, that you knew something was wrong so you tracked my stubborn ass down and forced me to talk. I love that you adopted Cookie and now you've been sending me Reels about cat harnesses and tiny cat doors and adorable hats he can wear."

"You started it," she whispers.

My heart squeezes. "I spent ten years loving a fantasy, baby, only to realize that you're more than I could ever dream up."

"Cam," she whispers, eyes going damp.

"And I love?—"

Her fingers press to my lips. "Honey."

There my heart goes again.

"Yeah?" I mumble against her fingers.

"I love you ." Her eyes slide closed for a beat. Then open and I find that my lungs don't want to work, that my heart has rolled over and offered itself up on a platter. "It's scary and terrifying and I'm half-convinced I'm still going to do something to fuck it up?—"

"Cupcake—"

"But…I know you, Cam Jackson. I've spent these ten years learning you, trusting you, understanding you, even if I didn't fully see you for the man you are."

"Athena—"

"I'm sorry for that," she murmurs. "I wish I'd—" A shake of her head. "I wish I'd been open to something sooner. Maybe then you wouldn't have—" She sighs. "Maybe then you wouldn't have had to shoulder everything alone."

"I wish I'd said something sooner." I tug at a curl. "Like maybe five years ago." I smile at her. "Because maybe then I would have realized you weren't in love with Lex."

"I wouldn't have been open to anything anyway."

"Why?"

"I—" A sigh. "It wasn't a simple thing. I wasn't open to connection—God, you know how long it took for your parents to win me over, and if I hadn't seen your brothers' relationships, hadn't watched Lex fall, I wouldn't have started to open my eyes and realize what I was missing. I was already feeling…unsettled in my life when we lost Tommy and—" Her throat works. "The move confirmed it. I wasn't dealing with my mom showing up all the time, demanding money, any longer. But I also wasn't in the Jackson fold and…I guess my life was empty. Work isn't the same without Lex, and without that connection, without a boss to let me use it as a safety blanket—because Sandra is determined to help me find work-life balance—I've realized…I don't want to be the person who's entire existence is showing up at the office or solving a case or hiding behind solving everyone else's problems so I don't have to deal with my own bullshit."

"Baby," I murmur, drawing her closer. "How'd you get so smart?"

"Cinnamon rolls."

Surprised, I laugh.

"I'm serious," she says lightly. "If your mom's cinnamon rolls hadn't won me over, I would have still been stuck flailing around in emotional no man's land."

"And now you're in love with me."

She grins. "I am."

"See?" I tease. "That's not so scary to admit."

"Very funny." A swat against my chest, but I capture her hand, press a kiss to her palm.

"You know what this means, right?"

"Know what what means?"

I waggle my eyebrows. "We get to have sex."

Laughter bubbles up in her chest. "Don't we do that all the time, anyway?"

"True," I say as I heft her over my shoulder. "But now we get to have celebratory I-love-you sex and that's a hundred times better."

"Considering how—" She grunts as I start taking the stairs two at a time. "Considering how good normal sex is, that's quite a statement to prove."

I drop her on the bed, come down over the top of her.

"Luckily, I'm a hard worker."

She grins. "A hard worker," she quips making me chuckle before her face goes serious. "Cam?"

"Yeah, cupcake?"

"Promise me."

I brush my knuckles down the slender column of her throat. "Promise you what?"

"Promise me you won't push me away like you did today. If you need space, fine, but will you please just ask for it next time?"

Damn.

Guilt slides through me as I settle my forehead against hers. "I'm sorry."

"I don't need an apology."

"But I need to give you one." I straighten, cup her jaw. "And I promise to talk to you instead of shutting you out from here on."

She shudders, relief clinging to her expression. Then she nods. "Thank you, honey."

"Any time."

Her smile returns quick and easy, the serious moment replaced with humor and contentment and home as she settles back on my pillows, spreads her arms and legs and declares, "I'm ready for the hundred-times-better-I-love-you sex now."

And, thankfully, I'm more than ready to give it to her.

So, I do.