Chapter 41

forty-one

KITANIA

A shiver ran through me, part fear, part overwhelming desire. The edge of the barrel grazed over my core— rubbing . And it felt incredible .

This was a line I never imagined crossing. And yet, my pussy clenched and my legs wobbled. Tommas banded a powerful arm around my middle, steadying me, holding me firmly against his chest.

“Tommy...” I breathed, unsure what I was going to say. Whether his name was a plea to stop or to continue.

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he traced slow, tantalizing circles with the tip of the gun, the pressure feather-light but enough to make me gasp and clutch at his forearms. My body arched into his involuntarily, seeking more of whatever dangerous pleasure he was offering.

“Do you trust me?” he asked finally, his lips so close to my ear that I could almost feel the words.

Did I? Trust was such a complicated thing for me. It didn’t come easily, but with these men—my Alphas, my mates —I trusted they cared for me, trusted that they wanted what was best for me. Always.

“Yes.”

The tension in my body didn’t release, but it transformed, taking on a new shape. The apprehension that had gripped me loosened its hold, replaced by an electric anticipation. He wasn’t rushing, wasn’t forcing anything. He was giving me the choice, the control to allow this or ask him to stop. If I so much as uttered the word, he’d let me go. It gave me all the courage I needed.

I bit my lip, eyes fluttering shut as I leaned back into him. “Don’t—Don’t stop,” I whispered.

With painstaking slowness, he moved the barrel, the pressure just enough to tease. My breath came in shallow gasps, each one feeding the fire that roared through my veins. Every nerve ending screamed for more.

I was so slick, wetness seeped through my leggings. I could almost imagine it slicking the black metal of the gun, making it gleam. Desire coursed through me, and my heart pounded in my ears. I moaned.

Tommy’s responding hum was a low, deep rumble. “That’s it, Butterfly. Let me make you feel good.”

His hands were steady, skilled, every motion a calculated seduction. With agonizingly slow strokes, he guided the gun over my clit, teasing, making me burn for him. I moved my hips instinctively, grinding against the barrel, seeking the friction my body so desperately craved.

“I can smell how badly you want this,” he growled, his timbre a rough caress. “How badly you want me.”

A whimper escaped my lips. His words, his scent, the sheer illicitness of what we were doing—it was all too much and not enough at the same time. I was on the edge, teetering, ready to plunge into an abyss of pure, unadulterated need.

“Please,” I begged, not even sure what I was asking for. Relief? More torture? Him?

The gun disappeared, and in the next instant, my leggings were yanked down, panties and all. Tommy helped me step out of them, then stripped my top and bra off too until I was standing utterly naked before him.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he rasped as he rose, retaking his place behind me.

This time, however, he focused on one of my breasts, his fingers alternating between gentle squeezes, firm kneading, and teasing strokes over my nipple. Those light circles, plucks, and flicks only heightened my need as the gun met my center once more. Only now, it slid directly between my folds.

I panted, and my hands flew to grip Tommy’s forearms, holding on for dear life.

“Feel how hard you make me,” he murmured, pressing his hips against my ass.

I could feel the rigid length of him straining behind his jeans. The knowledge that he was just as affected as I was sent a thrill through me, making my knees weak and my core tighten.

He kissed the side of my neck, alighting shivers that raced through me, then traced a line up to my jaw. “Do you like this?” he questioned, breath hot against my skin. “Like the way it feels?”

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t form the words. All I could do was nod, my head moving in small, desperate jerks.

The gun slid lower, then lower still, until the muzzle of it dipped into my entrance, all hard steel against soft, tender flesh. I gasped, my body tensing like a drawn bow. He was winding me tighter and tighter, each new experience a deliberate pull on the string, threatening to release me into a shattering climax.

“You’re so wet,” he murmured, almost to himself. “So ready.”

A sob of frustration and desperation caught in my throat. I was ready, more than ready, but he was holding me at the brink, refusing to let me tip over. The control he had over me, over my body, was absolutely maddening, and it made me dizzy with longing, with the visceral need to come.

“Imagine this is me,” he growled softly, plunging the barrel a little deeper, letting the rounded ridge of the front sight graze over my g-spot. “Imagine what it’ll be like when I take you for real.”

Sweet Jesus. The thought of him inside me, of us writhing together, was almost too much to bear. I could see it so clearly in my mind’s eye: his body over mine, our scents mingling, the sheer force of his thrusts driving me to the brink.

He applied a bit more pressure with the gun, and my hips bucked against it instinctively.

“You really do love this, don’t you?” he noted with sinful delight.

“God, yes! More, Tommy. Please!” The words fell freely, pleadingly.

With a nearly feral growl, he moved, coming around the front of me and dropping to his knees, all the while keeping the gun buried inside.

“Spread,” he commanded, tapping my inner knee, and I obeyed instantly, shifting my stance wider, even as my cheeks flamed from being so bold, so exposed. “Fuck, Butterfly. Look at you. Those pretty pink lips stretched around the barrel, your pussy glistening, that little clit beggin’ for my tongue.”

With nothing else to hold on to, I buried my hands into his hair, my fingers fisting the strands as if my life depended on staying upright. And it did, because I felt like I would die if I didn’t come soon.

Tommas’ breath was hot against my center as he leaned in and breathed deeply. Pupils blown, his eyes darkened like he was high off my signature. I licked my lips, a live wire of electricity. He was agonizingly close to where I needed him most, and my whole body trembled with hope and anticipation, every muscle taut and ready to snap.

“Hold on tight,” he warned, and before I could even process his words, his mouth descended, his tongue flicking over my clit with a swift, precise stroke.

I jolted from the shock of pleasure, and a cry tore from my throat. He licked again, then sucked, his lips and tongue working in tandem. The gun slid out, then back in, matching his rhythm perfectly and sending clenching pulses through my core. The combination was overwhelming in the best way, each sensation feeding into the other, creating a perfect storm of bliss that threatened to consume me devastatingly fast.

I looked down, watching him. His eyes were closed, his expression one of absolute devotion to his task. The sight of him on his knees before me, face buried in my sex, was heady and powerful.

Unable to stop myself, I moved, hips bucking against his talented mouth, grinding down on the barrel of the gun, seeking more of the delicious friction he was giving me. I was so close, every muscle in my body tensing. The room around us seemed to blur, my focus narrowing in on the maelstrom of sensation he created.

“Oh—oh God, Tommy!” I gasped, my breathing ragged and uneven. “I’m—I’m gonna—”

He growled against my clit, the vibration almost enough to tip me over. “Not yet,” he commanded against my flesh. “I want to savor this.”

But I was beyond saving, beyond waiting. Every fiber of my being screamed for release, for the sweet oblivion of an orgasm. I tried to buck my hips, to seek out what I needed, but he held me in place with a firm hand on my ass.

“Please,” I begged again, that single word breaking with desperation. “Please let me come.”

His green eyes met mine, blazing with an intensity that made my heart skip. “Only because you asked so nicely,” he said, and then he dove back in.

This time he sucked on my clit, hard , while his hand twisted the gun inside me. The dual sensations were too much; a tidal wave of pleasure crashed over me, and I screamed as my body convulsed with the force of my climax. My knees gave out, but Tommas caught me, holding me up as I rode the waves of ecstasy.

He didn’t stop sucking until I was mewling from overstimulation. Gently, he eased the gun out, and a final shudder ran through me. He stood, wrapping an arm around my waist to support me as I swayed unsteadily. My legs were absolute jello.

He kissed me then, deeply and hungrily, letting me taste myself on his lips and tongue. It was an intimate claiming that sent aftershocks through my already overloaded system. The heat that had momentarily sated rekindled, the embers sparking back into a roaring inferno.

Slick wet my thighs, and I moaned as the hard, hot length of him pressed against my stomach. I slid my hands under his shirt, running my palms over the ridges of his abs. His skin was smooth save for the dusting of hair covering his upper chest. Muscles tensed under my touch as I slowly peeled his shirt off, grateful when he helped slip it over his head, then tossed it aside. I wanted—no, needed —him as naked as I was.

My attention traced down his inked abdomen to his jeans, my fingers working to undo the button.

His hand covered mine, stopping me. “We don’t have to go further,” he said thickly.

“I want to.” I gazed up into his eyes. “I need you.”

For a moment, he just stared at me, as if searching for any hint of hesitation. When he found none, he sighed deeply, almost in relief.

“Thank fuck.” He cupped my face and planted another kiss on me. I knew he could feel the fire under my skin—this flash of heat fever that was consuming me from the inside out.

I pushed his jeans down, and he stepped out of them, leaving him in just his boxers. The fabric did little to hide the outline of his erection, and I caught my lip between my teeth at the sight. I reached out, tracing his length with the tip of a finger.

“Off,” I demanded, as though I were the Alpha in this situation.

With a smirk, he obeyed, and dear God, it was sexy as hell to watch him peel off the last layer. His cock sprung free, curving upward, hot and heavy and all mine. Any bashfulness or insecurities I had fell away. Biting my lip, I dropped to my knees, reveling in his sharp inhale as I peeked up at him from under dark lashes.

I took his length in my hand, feeling the warmth and the pulse of it beneath my palm. Slowly, I stroked him, watching his face tighten with the movement. His eyes were half-lidded, mouth slightly open, and I could see the struggle for control playing out across his features.

Leaning in, I let my breath tease the sensitive head of his cock, and he groaned, his hips giving a small, involuntary thrust. The power I felt in that moment was intoxicating; here was an Alpha, my Alpha , completely at my mercy.

My tongue flicked out, just a taste, and his hands flew to tangle in my dark hair. He didn’t force me, but the tension in his grip told me how badly he wanted this. How badly he wanted me .

His desire, his need , was spellbinding .

I licked again, this time focusing on the entire length of him, savoring the salty flavor of his skin. A shiver ran through his body, and he tightened his grasp on my hair, still not pushing, but bracing himself. I loved that he was letting me set the pace.

Slowly, I took him into my mouth, my lips stretching around his thickness. His head lolled back, a deep groan rumbling from his chest. I worked him with a steady rhythm, my hand and mouth moving in unison. His breathing grew ragged. Following my instincts, I hollowed my cheeks, adding more suction, teasing my tongue along his shaft.

“Kit,” he breathed, fighting the battle between pleasure and restraint. “Stop, Butterfly. You’re going to make me come.”

I leaned away, glancing up. “Don’t you want to?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. But not until I’m buried knot deep inside your pretty pussy.”

“Yes.”

That one word was filled with so much longing, and it was all the consent he needed to hear.

In one swift motion, he lifted me against him, urging me to wrap my legs around his waist. Large hands gripped my ass, and he pinned me against the wall. My head dropped back, and he planted kisses down my throat before biting the crux of my neck and shoulder. Tongue swirling over the spot I knew he intended to mark someday, he notched himself at my entrance and pressed in with measured, small thrusts.

Slick eased his way, and I rocked my hips, trying to take him deeper. Desperate for it. For him.

The stretch was exquisite, the fullness and pleasure blurring together in my fevered state. Each inch he gave me sent sparks through me, lighting me up and making me feel all shimmery.

“Tommy,” I breathed beyond coherent thought, lost so completely in him I never wanted to find my way out.

A deep, low growl sounded, vibrating through me. “You’re so fucking tight,” he muttered, kissing the shell of my ear, the column of my throat, the curve of my shoulder. “So perfect.”

Every word he spoke was fuel on the fire, making me burn for him. I tightened my legs around his waist, desperately trying to pull him deeper, to merge us completely. He obliged with a hard thrust that knocked the breath from my lungs and made stars dance in my vision.

“Oh, God!” I sobbed, weaving my fingers into his brown hair and holding on for the ride.

He retreated slowly, almost all the way out, and though the drag was delicious, my body cried at the loss. Then he drove into me again, harder this time, stealing all my air. Each thrust was deliberate and powerful, his hips slamming against mine, his knot teasing me, promising an even greater stretch. I ached for it, for that complete and utter possession. Clinging to him, I raked my nails down his back as he pounded into me with increasing intensity.

My moans mixed with his growls, creating a symphony of raw, primal sounds that echoed off the walls.

“Tommy,” I gasped, my fingers clutching at his hair and shoulders. “I’m—I’m so close.”

His mouth captured mine in a bruising kiss, all tongue and teeth, as he quickened his pace. The friction of his cock against that perfect spot inside me had lightning bolts of pleasure driving the ecstasy to an unbearable peak.

With a final, ferocious thrust, he drove his knot into me, locking us together. The stretch was as intense as it was delicious. The sudden fullness was too much; it sent me hurtling over the edge. I screamed his name as my orgasm ripped through me, wave after wave of blinding bliss. My inner walls clenched around his cock, milking him. The feral groan he released was so sexy, and a moment later, I felt him swell impossibly larger before the hot rush of his cum filled me.

Trembling and weak, I sagged against him, letting him support me fully. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Intent on keeping me close, Tommy settled me on a nearby counter so he could smooth his hands over my skin, petting me, bringing me down from my high gently.

We stayed like that for long moments, breathing each other in while I listened to the thrum of his heart slowly return to its normal, rhythmic pace. My heat flare faded. Nestling into him, I soaked up his warmth and his scent, wanting to immortalize this moment in my mind.

The lazy trail of his fingers had my eyes drifting shut, a contented smile playing across my lips.

This was the happiest I’d been in... maybe ever.

“Kit,” he murmured softly, tenderly. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

I shook my head against his chest, too blissed-out to form words. His concern for me was sweet, endearing, but unnecessary. He’d been so careful, so considerate, even in the throes of his own need.

“I’m more than okay,” I finally managed to say, though it was barely above a dreamy whisper. “That was—” I searched for the word; incredible, amazing, earth-shattering? While they were all true, none of them fully encompassed what I felt. Instead, I settled on saying, “— everything .”

We might not share a bond yet, but I swore I could feel his satisfaction, his pride. It filled me to the brim, adding to my contentment.

He kissed my forehead, then my nose, then lightly pecked my lips. “I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this, Butterfly, but if I don’t say it right now, I have a feeling I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I love you. So fuckin’ damn much.”

Tears built behind my eyes. “It’s not too soon, Tommy. Because I feel the same way.”

A purr blazed to life in his chest, and since we were pressed together, nary an inch between us, those pleasant little vibrations rumbled straight into me. The comfort I derived from them only made me more confident about what I wanted to say.

“I love you, too.”

“ Fuck , Butterfly.”

Tommas claimed another kiss, this one slow and sensual, making my toes curl and my skin flush anew. I melted into him, reveling in how right I felt in his arms—even stark naked in the middle of a private gun range. There was nothing about this moment I would change. My only wish was to capture it, to hold on to it and carry it with me through both good times and bad.

Because if anyone knew how quickly a life could turn from good to bad to worse, it was me.

I pushed the invading melancholy away as Tommy’s knot eased, letting him slip free. Instant wetness dripped and pooled on the table, a mixture of both of us. It was obscenely sexy, and yet deeply satisfying.

A grin curled my lips, the high of endorphins making me feel buzzy and light. “You’re wild.”

“And you like it.” He smirked unapologetically.

I shook my head at him, unable to contain my amusement. “I think I love it.”

“That’s my good little Omega.”

A responding whine slipped out before I could stop it. “Alpha…”

What was it about his praise I loved so much?

Apparently, he liked me calling him Alpha just as deeply. His eyes sparkled with an animalistic type of intensity, predatory and obsessive.

“Come on. Let’s go back upstairs before you put me in a damn rut and I knot you all over again.”

I bit my lip, my pussy fluttering from mere words. “Would that be so bad?”

His responding groan was gritty and guttural. “I can read exactly what you’re thinking. But before any of us let things go that far, we need to talk about your boundaries first. When an Alpha ruts, there’s not much brain space left for discussions about consent or hard limits. We need to know those things upfront.”

I considered what he said. “I just—I think I enjoy being on top and feeling a little more… in control. And I don’t want to be hurt. Or strapped down. And no knives.”

Tommas’ eyes snapped closed, his hands curling into fists where they rested on the countertop on either side of me, and he swallowed, throat bobbing.

Embarrassment sluiced through me.

Did I just ruin things? Maybe I shouldn’t have said that…

Scared to know the answer, I stammered the question anyway. “A-Are you mad?”

TOMMAS

Mad? She thought I was mad? At her ?

Jesus fucking Christ.

“No, Butterfly. Not at you. Never at you.” I swallowed again, finding it difficult to voice the mix of rage and fucking heartbreak that churned inside me. “You’re asking for such basic shit.” It was fuckin tragic. “Don’t worry, baby. We’re always going to respect your boundaries. And if things change or we find new triggers, we’ll adjust the list. Okay?”

Relief swept through her pretty blue eyes, making me feel like an even bigger tool for not being able to control my initial reaction. I never wanted her to doubt how I felt about her—not just in the grand scheme of things, but in every fleeting moment.

She nodded, sniffling, her emotions close to the surface after her latest heat flare. “Okay. I trust you. All of you,” she promised.

It floored me just how much hearing her say those three little words rocked my world.

I trust you.

It was the second best thing I’d heard all day, nudged out of first place by the other set of three little words she’d confessed so beautifully to me earlier.

I love you.

My heart constricted in a way I wasn’t used to, but it was one hell of a feeling.

Swooping down, I kissed her, and like every other time, it felt as if the earth shifted. This woman—this beautiful, innocent, sweet, sexy, addictive woman—had so easily become the center of my world.

Oh yeah, I was most definitely whipped. And damn if I didn’t like it.

No. Scratch that.

I fucking loved it.