Chapter 26

twenty-six

KITANIA

The metal bar felt heavier than it should; a solid slab of iron pressing down on my chest. I gritted my teeth, sweat trickling from my temple and dampening the edges of my vision. With each shaky breath, I could feel my muscles trembling, begging for mercy, but I pushed through. The gym was silent except for the sound of my own labored breaths and the occasional animalistic grunt. The entire world had narrowed to this room, and all that existed was me and the ridiculously leaden bar in my hands.

“Come on, Kit,” Giovanni’s voice cut through the fog of my exertion, gravelly and low, yet encouraging. He loomed over me as if he were a guardian angel—or maybe more like an intimidating demon, given that he was responsible for the precarious situation I found myself in. His hazel eyes were fixed on me with unwavering intensity. “You got this.”

“I really don’t think I do,” I huffed, working to keep my focus on the bar instead of the way my body quaked beneath it. I felt ridiculous—here I was, trying to lift what amounted to nothing but a piece of metal. There weren’t even any weights on it. Nevertheless, I struggled. My arms trembled, shaking as I fought the resistance, grunting with the effort.

“Just breathe,” he urged in that soothing yet firm way of his.

I tried to focus on inhaling and exhaling, but all I could think about was how weak I felt.

“Why am I doing this again?” I growled, gritting my teeth so hard I thought they might shatter. Except that I knew exactly why.

Huffing and puffing like the damn wolf in that children’s story, I finally forced the bar into the air, inch by godforsaken inch. Gio shouted a loud “fuck yeah!” when I made it, then helped me guide it back into its resting position with a clang. My arms dropped to my sides, resembling overcooked spaghetti, and I let out an exhausted, frustrated groan.

“You did great, sweetness. I’m proud of you.”

His praise sent a flutter through my chest, but shame quickly doused it. “I could barely lift the bar.” Blinking past the tears that pricked at the backs of my eyes, I avoided his gaze. “How am I supposed to defend myself if I can’t even do one smooth rep?”

“You’ve been through hell. Give yourself time to heal. To rebuild.”

I wanted to believe him, wanted to feel worthy of his faith in me, of his patience and reassurance. But the shadows of my past whispered doubts in my ear. What if I never got strong enough? What if I was always a burden? A liability?

Gio must have sensed my spiraling thoughts. Grabbing a water bottle from the mini fridge, he strode back over and held out his hand. I stared at it for a long moment before taking it and letting him haul me up to a sitting position. I swung my leg over the bench until I sat facing him. The cold bottle was pressed into my hands, and I mindlessly twisted off the cap and took a sip, all while he watched with his arms crossed.

When he was content with my level of hydration, he sighed and squatted down in front of me. “Just remember that you’re doing this to build strength so you can protect yourself.” Gio’s intense eyes searched mine, and I could see the concern there, mixed with something deeper. “You’re not weak, Kit. You simply need time.”

“Time,” I echoed, swallowing hard.

What did that even mean? Months in captivity had hollowed me out, left me feeling fragile and exposed. I was scared of what I’d become, scared that I’d never build back all I’d lost.

“Look at me.” His voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I met his gaze. “It. Takes. Time,” he enunciated. Tears pricked the backs of my eyes and I nodded.

“I wasn’t always like this, you know.” He gestured to his sculpted arms, the tattoos peeking from beneath his sleeves, decorating his skin in a tapestry of art. “It took work. It took being in pain. And it took time. But I got here.”

I blinked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“I was heavy all throughout childhood and into my teens. Other kids were merciless little shits who liked to tease me. I understand what it’s like to feel... small. Unimportant. Belittled.” There was a weight in his words, a shared understanding of suffering that tugged at something deep within me. “But when I got older, I decided enough was enough. I was done with being ridiculed and wanted to change how others saw me. That’s when I started working out,” Gio continued, his voice low and intimate. “At first, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I’d stumble into the gym, feeling like everyone was staring at me, judging. But I pushed through that discomfort, day after day.”

Studying him, I tried to process this new side of Giovanni—this man who was so fierce and protective was stripping himself raw to reveal his vulnerability.

“I started learning about nutrition too,” he said, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “No more sneaking entire boxes of Pop-Tarts at midnight. I had to relearn everything I thought I knew about food. It was fucking hard. There were days I wanted to give up, to just accept that I’d always be that chubby kid everyone picked on.”

His hand reached out, hesitating for a moment before gently squeezing my knee. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver through me.

“But I didn’t quit. And neither will you.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

“Overtime, I got a handle on eating healthy, well-balanced meals and began hitting the weights. I shed the baby fat and worked on sculpting my body. Then came the tattoos,” Gio gestured toward the ones crawling down his arms. “Each piece has a story, a reminder of how far I’ve come.”

I leaned closer, drawn in by the raw honesty in his voice. My gaze traced the intricate designs, one after another.

“This tattoo,” he said, pushing up his sleeve to reveal a fierce tiger, “was my first. I got it the day I finally benched 225. It took me months to work up to that weight.”

Without thinking, I reached out, my fingertips barely grazing the inked skin. Gio’s breath hitched, but he didn’t pull away.

“And this one?” I asked softly, tracing a delicate vine pattern that wound its way up his forearm.

“That’s for resilience,” he murmured. “No matter how many times you get cut down, you keep growing back stronger.”

Our eyes met, and for a moment, the air between us felt charged.

“I wish you hadn’t believed you needed to change yourself to fit other’s expectations of you.”

“I agree.” He shrugged. “But at the time, I wanted to. Was convinced it would solve my problems.”

“And did it?”

“Some of ‘em.” His hand smoothed over his head. “But not all.”

“Kids can be so cruel,” I whispered, my heart aching for the boy he once was. “I’m sorry for the pain they caused you.”

“Don’t be.” His lips hitched up on one side, the soft smile breaking through his usual stoic facade. It made my insides flutter. “I had to go through all that shit to realize I didn’t need to change other people’s perceptions of me. I did all that work to transform my appearance, but what I really needed to modify was the way I perceived myself. That’s the thing about self-worth. It only matters that you believe you deserve love and respect. I’m finished chasing the approval of others. I learned that I’m here, I’m important, and I’m fucking enough. As long as I value myself, I don’t need anyone else to tell me I matter.”

“You might not need to hear it, but I’m going to say it, anyway.” I reached for him, cupping the side of his face. “You do matter. To me.” I swallowed, wanting to admit far more. But all I could squeak out was, “A lot.”

“Fuck, sweetness.” He stood, pulling me up with him and wrapping me in a hug. My entire body relaxed against the solid lines of his.

“I need you to know something,” I murmured against his chest, softly, barely above a whisper.

I felt his stare, and I shifted so I could meet his gaze. Those hazel eyes locked onto mine, intense and questioning. I swallowed hard, pushing through the nervousness that threatened to choke my words. “How I feel about you… it’s not based on what you look like. It never has been, and it never will be.”

A flicker of surprise crossed his face, quickly replaced by something softer, yet infinitely more intense. I pressed on, determined to make him understand.

“You’re strong, Gio. And I don’t just mean physically.” I reached out, hesitating for a moment before resting my hand on his muscular bicep. “You’re the rock of your family. The way you care for them, protect them, it’s incredible.”

His breath hitched, almost imperceptibly. I could feel the tension in his muscles beneath my fingertips.

“But it’s more than that,” I continued, my voice gaining strength. “You’re unbelievably kind. The way you’ve been patient with me, helping me through all of this… it means the world to me.

Gio’s eyes never left mine, and I could see a storm of emotion brewing in their depths.

“You’re protective, but not in a suffocating way. You make me feel safe without making me feel weak.” I paused, searching for the right words. “And you’re so smart. The way you observe everything, always three steps ahead… that’s a skill.”

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “You think I’m smart, huh?”

I smirked, picking up on his flirtatiousness. “Yes, Gio. You’re smart and pretty. Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late, sweetness.” He grinned unapologetically. “You are damn good for my ego.”

Joy bloomed inside at having made one of my Alphas happy.

Gio tugged me closer, tightening our hug, leaving no space between us. His body touched every inch of mine, and heat pooled low in my belly.

“Kit.” He sobered once more. “Thank you,” he rasped, his breath warm against my skin.

My heart pounded wildly in my chest. “I just… I needed you to know. To understand how I see you.”

He leaned in closer, and for a moment, I thought he might kiss me. The air stalled in my lungs, anticipation thrumming through me. But instead, his forehead pressed against mine, his eyes closing.

“You’re stronger than you think, Kitania. You’ve been through hell and yet here you stand, so damn sweet, compassionate, and understanding. You’re beautiful from the inside out and you deserve all the love and affection in the world. All my brothers and I want to do is be the ones to give it to you. You matter a fuckton to me—to all of us. I hope you know that.”

Tears watered in my eyes, and I sniffed. “Gio…” It was so damn good to hear how he felt about me. That he saw me in a way I didn’t see myself. I had no idea what to say. ‘Thank you’ seemed wholly inept. Instead, I went with a slight redirection, feeling the need to squirm under his fervent attention. “See?” I released a watery laugh. “You’re so kind.”

He guffawed at that and shook his head, a wide grin splitting his face. “I think you might be the only person on the planet who’s ever called me ‘kind.’”

“That can’t be true.”

“It definitely is. Just don’t tell the other fighters or it’ll ruin my image,” he teased.

“Fighters?” I was missing something.

He smirked down at me like he found my question adorable. “I cage fight, sweetness. Not to brag, but I’m pretty damn good at it, too. I’ve got a reputation to keep as a badass. If the guys heard I was getting soft, they’d never let me hear the end of it.”

I reared back, placing both my hands on his chest to create some space between us. “Cage fighting? The ‘locked in a wire box and punch each other silly’ kind of cage fighting? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“For the other guy, maybe.” He lifted a shoulder in an apathetic shrug.

“Gio! You could get hurt.”

“You worried about me?” That cocky smirk on his face told me he was loving my distress.

I feigned disinterest, though I wasn’t fooling anybody. “Maybe.”

He chuckled, the sound rolling over me like sweet, dark molasses—slow and delicious. “I think I’m into it.”

“Seeing me distressed?”

“No, sweetness. It’s nice knowing how much you care. But you don’t need to be worried. I’ve been cage fighting for years, and I’m fine. The sport has always given me an outlet to work through my shit.”

I drew in a deep breath, letting it fill and stretch my lungs before exhaling it slowly, giving myself time to process this new information.

There were many Alphas who needed a way to channel their natural aggressions. I’d learned as much in classes at the OMA. Yet, I wasn’t sure how to feel about any of this.

Was it sexy as fuck? Absolutely. Now I understood why Giovanni’s palms were rough and calloused. He had the physique of a fighter; big, muscled, and strong. Just watching him in the gym got me all hot and bothered. But the thought about anyone potentially hurting my mate made my vision go red at the edges.

Gio’s finger traced a gentle path over the crease that had taken up residence in the center of my forehead, his touch barely grazing my skin. The tenderness left me breathless, and I leaned into him.

“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, Dolcezza ?” he murmured inquisitively. “I’d give anything to read your mind right now.”

A playful smirk tugged at my lips. “You know the rules. You’ve got to win at poker if you want another question.”

His eyes filled with amusement, and he leaned in closer, his breath ghosting over my ear. “You looking for a challenge?”

Two could play this game. I popped onto my tiptoes and nipped his earlobe. “Perhaps.”

“How about a new competition, like who can do more pushups?”

I reared back and my brows rose, trying to meet my hairline. “Have you seen you? You already know you’d win.”

“Then maybe we should just skip straight to the question portion of our little wager.” He smirked, not the least bit sorry. “Come on, sweetness. Penny for your thoughts?”

Releasing a playful growl of frustration, I gave in. “Newsflash, big guy, but you’re my Alpha and I hate the idea of anyone hurting you—for sport or otherwise.”

A predatory, possessive gleam lit his eyes. With a rough purr, he scooped down, grabbed my ass, and lifted me straight off my feet.

A squeal tore from my lungs. My arms flew around his neck and my legs instinctively encircled his waist, holding onto him like a koala bear.

“Say it again,” he demanded.

“Say what?” I breathed, my mind whirling from being pressed against him so intimately. My imagination was running away with everything I wanted him to do to me. And everything I wanted to do to him in return.

“You know what,” Gio rasped.

I bit my lip, deciding to oblige. “You’re my Alpha.”

“Again,” he commanded, deep and gravelly, revealing how close that feral part of him had risen to the surface.

“Alpha,” I murmured, barely above a whisper.

Gio’s mouth crashed down in a hungry, searing kiss. My toes curled in my tennis shoes and my perfume erupted around us, thick, sweet, and heady.

My heart raced as his tongue swept over mine, his hands gripping my ass possessively. I clung to him, feeling completely consumed by him. But just as quickly as it began, Gio pulled back, panting heavily. His eyes were dark and heated, and I could feel the sheer need rolling off of him in waves.

“Damn it, Kit,” he growled, his voice thick with lust. “You have no clue what you do to me.”

I couldn’t help but grin at his confession and rock my hips timely. “Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea.”

He slapped my ass, making me yelp. But the sting of pain only lasted for the span of a heartbeat before it blossomed into delicious heat.

“It’s sexy as hell, knowin’ I’ve got someone who cares about me like that in my corner. Having my Omega watching is just gonna make me fight harder.”

I kissed a tempting little line up his throat and whispered in his ear, “Or you could skip the fight altogether.”

That amused chuckle was back. “Trying to use your sexual wiles to convince me?”

“I have sexual wiles?”

Gio groaned. “Fuck, sweetness. Your innocence kills me.” At that very moment, he lowered me slightly until his cock rocked against my core, hard and insistent.

Oh my God! He was huge .

“Come to my fight and watch me. You’ll see you have nothing to be concerned about.”

Smoothing my hands over his buzz, I bit my lip, considering his proposition while I enjoyed the prickle of his short hair against my palms.

“Okay. But Gio?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m always going to worry,” I whispered, holding onto my courage. “You belong to me, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to someone trying to hurt what’s mine .”

“Aw fuck, sweetness.”

I sealed my claim with a scorching kiss, taking my time to show him exactly how I felt without words.