39. Zara

Carrying Mia upstairs as I leave the kitchen after my hesitant talk with Henry, I'm a bit overwhelmed and bewildered, but in a good way. The air feels clearer somehow like we've opened the windows and let the stale doubts out.

Henry's honesty is refreshing, and his willingness to communicate gives me hope. The conversation we just had didn't solve everything, but it's a start – a promise of trying – and that's what matters right now.

I can't seem to wrap my head around being with more than one alpha. How does that work? Will there be jealousy? Liam doesn't seem too bothered, and neither did Henry. Does that mean they don't really care enough to be jealous? Is this all going to blow up in my face when it goes sideways?

I glance around the nursery, a sanctuary from whatever awaits on the outside.

Liam steps in behind me, his smile tentative but warm. "Hey," he says as he closes the door behind him, as I settle Mia in her cot.

"Hey," I whisper, biting my lip slightly.

"You okay? How are you feeling with the heat that has backtracked."

I giggle. "Okay, I guess. Pre-heat is simmering, so something went totally out of whack there for a while."

"I told you earlier, it's fate."

"Yeah. About that…"

"Uh-oh."

"No, it's good, I promise. I just need a hot minute to take all this in. Ben and I kissed earlier, and I don't know what that means. He bolted before we could say anything. Well, Mia needed him, so that's unfair, but we still left things hanging."

"So why are you sitting here and not with him talking about it?"

"I don't know if he wants to talk about it."

"He does."

"How do you know?"

"He's confused, he needs to know what's going on."

"Yeah, that makes two of us. Also, he's sleeping, I'll leave him."

"He's awake. The smell of soup woke him." Liam's hand finds mine, just as Henry's had earlier, and he gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Zara," he says, his voice laced with that gentle certainty that always seems to help me find my footing. "You've got to be honest with him – with all of us. You can't leave things unsaid; it'll only make the confusion worse."

I nod, knowing he's right. Honesty is the cornerstone of this, whatever it is.

"Besides," Liam continues, "Ben wants you. He might not have said it out loud yet, but it's obvious. He wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't feel something strong."

My heart does a little flip at his words, and I wonder about the possibilities. "It's just hard to believe that all of this is happening."

Liam chuckles softly, his thumb stroking over my knuckles in a comforting rhythm. "Yeah, I know. But believe it, because we're all feeling it."

We exchange a soft smile as I lead him out of the nursery. We're far from figuring everything out, but there's a sense of unity between us that feels like the strongest foundation we could hope for.

"Come on then," he says decisively. "Let's go find Ben and sort this out. No more hiding or running away."

I nod. The air feels different now, charged with a nervous energy that's not entirely unpleasant. It's the feeling of standing on the edge of something new, something that could be brilliant if we just have the courage to jump in together.

As we walk down the stairs towards the living room, I can feel my pulse racing.

We reach the living room, where Ben and Henry are waiting for us. Ben's eyes lock onto mine as soon as we enter, and there's a silent question in them that makes everything else fade away.

"Zara," he starts, his voice steady but with an undercurrent of something I can't quite place. "We need to talk about what happened earlier."

I take a deep breath and step forward. "We do," I agree, holding his gaze.

"We'll leave you to it. Come and find us and soup when you're ready," Henry murmurs as he and Liam leave us alone.

Ben runs a hand through his hair. "What did that kiss mean to you?" he asks bluntly.

My stomach churns with butterflies—the good kind—but it's time for honesty. "It meant that there's something between us, something I can't ignore any longer. I like you, Ben, more than I've admitted until now."

His eyes soften, and he takes a step closer, closing the distance between us. "I like you too, Zara. A lot. That kiss was impulsive, but it felt right. It still does."

"So what now?"

His expression is earnest. "I'm not going anywhere if that's what you're asking. But we all need to be on the same page here."

"I want to try," I say finally, voice steady despite the tremor I feel inside. "But I'm scared this is too soon for you."

"Me too," Ben replies quietly.

"Which?" I ask, wrinkling up my nose in my confusion at his reply.

"Both."

His admission sends a rush of relief through me. It's not just me who's scared. Henry and Liam seem so nonchalant about it, but inside I'm terrified.

"So, which part are you going to listen to?"

He searches my eyes for a long time. So long, in fact, that I think he's going to tell me to get lost.

"I want to move forward," he says eventually as I wring my hands with anxiety coursing through me. "But I can't push the hurt aside. I was burned. Badly."

"I know," I whisper.

"And I don't want to rush or mess things up," he continues, his voice laced with vulnerability. "I like you, Zara. But I've got Mia to put first. I need to take this slow. Can we do that? Take it day by day?"

He's standing so close now, and his honesty makes my heart ache in a way that feels both terrifying and exhilarating. I nod, getting him completely. The man's been through enough to make anyone cautious, and the fact that he's willing to try speaks volumes.

"Yes, we can take it slow," I assure him, my voice stronger than I feel. "I want you to feel safe and comfortable with how things progress."

Ben exhales a shaky breath and pulls me in for a hug. His arms around me are like a promise of safety, and I let myself melt into his embrace. It's warm and secure – a sharp difference to the flurry of emotions that have been chasing each other around inside my head.

"Thank you, Zara," he murmurs into my hair. "For understanding."

We stay like that for what feels like an eternity, but it probably only lasts a few minutes. Eventually, we pull apart just enough to look at each other.

"But there is this thing that's looming," I murmur.

"I know," he says and runs his hand through his hair again, a sign I've come to associate with him being nervous.

"What are we going to do about it? I can move out, go to a hotel?—"

"No!" he says vehemently. "You are not going to a hotel where any old fucker could break in and take advantage of you."

Raising an eyebrow at the protective streak that came flying out of nowhere, I suppress my smile.

"You will stay here, and we will just have to see what happens," he relents.

"Can you do that, though? If you submit to your alpha instincts, can you take me without being all in?" I have to ask. I have to because so much depends on his answer.

He frowns fiercely. "I'm all in, Zara. I just need?—"

I blink.

"Are you all in?" he asks, glaring at me.

"Yes. I'm all in. I adore Mia. I couldn't love her more if she were my own child, and you… you're more than any omega has a right to ask for."

"Don't say things like that," he rasps. "I'm not ready to hear those things."

"Tough, because you need to know your worth, Ben. She has torn your soul out, and you have lost faith in yourself. But I see you, and I'm going to be here every day making sure you know how much I care about you." I reach up and cup his face.

His eyes hold mine, and there's a shimmer of what could be tears, but I know Ben; he's not one to let them fall easily. He nods, takes a deep breath, and leans into my touch.

"You're too good to me," he murmurs.

"No, she was terrible to you. I'm going to show you again what love looks like, but I need you to let me, Ben. Don't back away. I won't hurt you, and I won't hurt Mia, ever. This is real now, and reality can be scarier than any confrontation of feelings."

"Thank you," he murmurs, and there's something like hope lighting up his face now. It's beautiful, and it makes everything feel worth it.

"Let's get some soup and some sleep," I say after a beat.

"Sounds like a plan."

We head into the kitchen, not touching but close. I'm still worried about the choice he's going to make when my heat hits in a couple of days, but I'm not going to push him or even ask him again. He will do whatever he's going to do, and I'll be there for him regardless.