Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Ash

I snickered as I followed Mel into a little coffee shop in the downtown area of Swallow Cove. "Just The Sip? Really?"

"Yes, really, Mr. Sex on a Stick," a sassy barista called from behind the counter. His dark hair was styled within an inch of its life, and his T-shirt read: I'll swallow your bait, Mr. Fisherman. " You want a taste of something in my shop? Preferably me?"

Mel giggled beside me. "I can't believe you've never been here. Danny is a hoot."

"Yes," Danny said, tone dry. "I'm such a hoot . "

I chuckled. "I'll need a minute to look over the menu."

"Passed up for my drinks once again," he said with a put-upon sigh. "Let me know when you're ready to order."

Danny walked away to give us a few minutes.

I glanced up at the menu. "Holy shit, these drink names."

Caramel Cockiato, Mocha Me Moan, Daddy, A Latte Licking, All-American Alpha, Spit-Roasted Blond, Flat-on-your-back White…

"Seriously," Mel said, "how have you not been here?"

I shrugged. "You know how Sawyer gets. It's a small town, and I never really needed to come over. Not if it meant…"

"Upsetting him?"

"Yeah."

Mel slung her arm around my shoulders. "You can't live your life to appease him, you know."

"I know. I'm not." My chuckle took on an edge. "Clearly. I'm invading his life, making nice with his friends."

"Those don't sound like your words." She took one look at my face and read the truth there. "Do I need to have words with him? Because I will. I'm not afraid to give it to him straight."

I smirked. "He might like that a little too much. You giving it to him straight. "

She elbowed me in the gut, making me grunt. "You know what I mean." She huffed. "Let's order."

Danny returned as if by magic, which meant he'd probably heard every word we exchanged. "What can I get you? It's not too late to choose me."

"Tempting," I said. "But I have to go to work with a guy who hates my guts. What's your drink recommendation for that?"

"Depends," Danny said. "Do you want to sex up this guy?"

Mel coughed to disguise a laugh beside me.

"No," I said firmly.

"Too bad," Danny said. "The Bend-Over Breve or Cinnamon Do-Me would have been perfect. But if not, then I'd suggest the All-Americano Alpha to keep you strong."

I pulled a face. I liked sweet drinks, so the Alpha wasn't happening. "Give me the Mocha Me Moan, Daddy."

"Oh, you know I will," he purred.

Mel ordered a Latte Licking.

"Just out of curiosity, how do you deal with the homophobes? Or like…just the prudish types when they come in?"

Danny pointed above his head to a second panel of the menu labeled Family-Friendly Drinks. "I don't get much trouble with homophobes. I've got a rainbow sticker on the window, and if they make it past that, they take one look at me or my T-shirt and hightail it out. It saves me a lot of time and trouble. But most folks just roll with it. If families come in with kids, I just point them to the other menu."

"Huh. Well, it's fun."

Danny set my mocha on the counter, then started Mel's drink. "Life isn't worth living if it's not fun, right?"

"Right," Mel said. "I know a couple of guys who could take a page out of your book."

"Well, this one can read my pages anytime," Danny said with a wink as he finished up Mel's latte.

We carried our drinks to a couple of brightly colored mismatched armchairs. I took a sip of mine and sighed as sweet chocolate with the underlying notes of espresso coated my tongue. Danny might be a flirty tease, but he knew his business. The coffee was damn good.

"Thanks again for the ride over," I said. "Rick has been such a dick lately. Now that I quit DreamBoats, he keeps charging me fees for everything I use at the house."

"That's ridiculous," she said. "Maybe he'll take off on another trip soon?"

"Maybe. Mom says I hurt his feelings by leaving and to be patient with him." I rolled my eyes. "But she always wants to pretend he's not an asshole."

"She probably needs to see it that way. Otherwise, what is she doing with him?"

"I guess." I sighed. "I don't want to break up her marriage or anything. Though I think she could do a lot better."

"Of course."

"But I don't think I should stay, even if he takes off again. I need my own place."

"You should move to Swallow Cove," she said.

I hesitated. "Well, I did think that at first, but…"

"But what?" she demanded. "You're going to commute the whole summer just to avoid Sawyer?"

I crinkled up my nose. "I hurt him. I know that. I mean, I wish he'd forgive me for being stupid, but?—"

"Thanks a lot," she said.

"You know what I mean. We were never right for each other anyway."

"Yeah." She sighed. "You need to clear the air with him once and for all. It's the only way you guys will move on."

"Don't you think I tried that like ten years ago?"

"He wasn't ready then."

"Not sure he's ready now," I grumbled. "How come he doesn't hate you?"

Mel fluttered her eyelashes. "Because I'm adorable."

I fluttered mine back. "And I'm not?"

She smirked. "Maybe you're too adorable and it confuses all his straight-boy senses."

"It's not fair, you know. He forgave you almost immediately. If he ever blamed you at all. But me, he wouldn't even hear me out."

"Well, we broke up, Ash. Our relationship had ended. But his relationship with you, his friendship, that wasn't over. At least, he didn't think so."

"I didn't want it to be," I said, "but maybe…"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe I thought it was."

She nodded. "He shut everyone out for a long time. In a way, you two just had a different kind of breakup. A messier one. But you don't have to let that bitterness continue to infect you. Talk it out."

"You're such a woman. Talk it out." I huffed. "Like it's easy."

"Just use your lips and make words, Ash. It's not that hard!"

She had no idea how hard it could be. I'd been pushing down my true emotions for so long that trying to identify and understand them was an undertaking, much less expressing them to another person.

Especially if that person was Sawyer.

We watched Danny flirt with a few more customers while we finished our drinks, then parted ways outside the shop. I headed for the resort on foot while Mel went to meet her sister at the Outdoor Market. She came over here nearly every week, so Sawyer couldn't possibly have avoided her the way he did me.

It was a long walk to the resort, but I didn't mind since the weather was mild. Still, Mel was right, moving here would save me a lot of trouble.

I'd spent the past day scrubbing out the food boat, but there were years of grime built up, so I wasn't done yet. I went into the resort and collected the mop, bucket, gallon of water, and jug of Simple Green degreaser to continue my work.

I was doing fine until I reached the dock and tried to roll the bucket over the slightly raised edge. The wheel hit it, the bucket tipped, and I ended up dropping everything.

Including my gallon of fresh water directly into the freaking lake.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, dropping down to my belly to try to grab it. I wasn't worried about losing the gallon of water. I could always grab another. But I didn't think Sky would appreciate me polluting the lake with trash right outside the resort.

There was a golf clap behind me. "Nice work. I thought you were less clumsy than this."

I didn't bother rising to Sawyer's bait. I had other problems right now. If he wanted to watch and laugh, then he could have at it.

I shoved my sleeve up and leaned half my body over the edge of the dock to grab for the gallon. My hand closed around the handle.

"Got you—oh shit!"

I slipped too far over the edge, and the water rushed toward my face. I clenched my eyes and braced for a cold bath, but I jolted short just above the surface of the water.

A strong, bruising grip held my thighs.

Sawyer yanked me back, dragging me roughly over the edge of the dock. I hissed as my shirt came up and the boards scraped my stomach.

I turned over, placing the gallon beside me and rubbing my abs. "Damn, that was close. Th?—"

Sawyer strode away without another glance.

Well, at least he hadn't let me fall into the lake? That was more than I would have expected.

I clambered to my feet and collected the cleaning supplies that had spilled all over the place. My thighs still tingled with the imprint of his hands around them.

I wondered if he'd left bruises? The thought sent a weird shiver through me. I shook it off and got back to work.

For the next few hours, I mopped and scrubbed the boat to within an inch of its life, until every part of it was…if not gleaming, certainly clean enough to eat off.

Then I headed to kitchen to consult with Vera. We'd been tweaking our menu, and her staff had even helped me prep samples of it so we could test all the recipes ahead of launch.

The day flew by, and by the time I returned from another test drive—this time stopping and making myself an early dinner to test out the grill—it was getting dark.

I docked the boat, and Hudson came over and helped me tie it up.

"How's she handling for you?"

"Great," I said. "The grill runs a little hotter than I'm used to. I burned my grilled cheese."

"Just makes it taste better," Hudson said with a grin.

"That's the magic of grilled cheese," I agreed. "It's tough to really mess it up."

"Well, I can't wait to try some of your food. I'm betting some of our tours will love it. We let folks bring snacks, but sometimes they forget or underestimate how hungry they'll get."

I nodded. "I know what you mean. I actually got the idea from one of my boat tours. This tourist was hangry , and he kept complaining about how when he was down in Alabama, they had a burger boat right on the water. It got me to thinking about all the times people have to trek back to dock to pick up lunch when they'd rather just stay out all day. Not everyone plans ahead for that."

"I wouldn't mind getting a burger while I'm out there myself," he said. "You just let us know if you need any help."

"Thanks, Hudson. That's really nice. I know, uh, my stepdad runs the DreamBoats and they're kind of…"

"Competitive?" he guessed.

"I was going to say dicks," I said with a rueful grin.

Hudson chuckled. "Well, admittedly, I've had less contact with you all than Sawyer, since you're mostly out at night."

I grimaced. "Yeah, Sawyer isn't a fan. For a lot of reasons."

Hudson squeezed my shoulder. "I don't know you, Ash, but if Sky likes you, there must be a good reason for that. You'll find your place here. Even with Sawyer, I imagine. He's a good egg."

"I know he is."

Despite everything, Sawyer was the best friend I'd ever had. Aside from Mel. Her friendship was just as valuable, but it was different. I hadn't grown up with her, gotten scolded by her parents, or been tucked into bed beside her at night like a member of the same family.

When Sawyer moved away, it was like losing a brother. I'd thought we'd stay friends. It had never entered my mind that we wouldn't. But when his parents broke up, he shut me out, and I just didn't know how to be his friend anymore.

"I should get going," Hudson said. "Fisher is meeting me for dinner."

I checked the time on my phone. "Shit, me too. I need to catch the last water taxi."

"Oh, you're a little too late for that."

"What?"

"They stop running at eight on weeknights."

"Are you serious?" My phone display read 8:15 p.m. "Crap. I hate to call my friend back over here. She already dropped me off this morning."

Hudson nodded his head toward the Swallow Adventures boats. "Come with me."

"I don't want to make you late for your dinner…" I trailed off when I saw Sawyer aboard a boat just coming in. A small party of guests was disembarking.

I stepped forward on autopilot, extending my arm to help a young mother climb out of the boat.

"I hope you enjoyed your tour," I said.

"Oh yes, Sawyer is a sweetie," she said.

I glanced up with a smirk, a joke poised on my tongue that I swallowed down just in time. If I wanted our dynamic to change, I had to stop goading him. His attitude brought out the worst in me, but someone had to break the cycle.

Sawyer's gaze, dark and heavy, collided with mine.

My heart jolted. In fear? In excitement? There was just something about the way he looked at me…

Like I was the only thing he saw.

"Ash needs a ride over to Swallow Beach," Hudson said beside me. "Can you run him over before putting the boat to bed for the night?"

Sawyer's gaze never left mine.

"Am I a taxi service now?"

"No, you're a considerate human being," Hudson said, with a slight edge to his voice. "We take care of our own, and that's Ash now. So take the man home. I'm late to meet Fisher or I'd do it myself."

That snapped Sawyer out of our staring contest. He glanced toward Hudson. "Sorry. Yeah. I can take him."

"Try not to kill each other," Hudson ordered before stalking off.

I hesitated to board. "I can call someone to come get me."

"Don't tempt me," he said. "Just get your ass up here so I can do what the boss ordered."

If Sawyer hadn't stopped me from taking a header into the lake earlier, I might have thought twice. I would have said he'd toss me overboard and happily watch me drown, but…he had saved my ass. So maybe there was a chance we could repair the rift between us.

Maybe Mel was right, and we needed to talk—even if it sounded about as appealing as pulling out my teeth with pliers.

So I stepped aboard with a smile. "Thanks, Sawyer."

He turned to the steering wheel without a word. Yeah, we were off to a good start.

Talk to him, Ash. Use your big-boy words.

The thought that flitted through my mind had Mel's voice. Ugh. I huffed a breath and made my way toward the bow.

Sawyer hit the throttle as he came out of dock, the boat jerked forward, and I lurched sideways. Only years of boating kept me on my feet. I grabbed Sawyer's shoulder and braced my legs, leaning in close to him.

Closer than I intended.

The cedar-pine scent of him flooded my nose. His shoulder was hard and muscular beneath my hand, and a prickling heat tingled up my arm.

"Are you going to hang on me the whole fucking trip?" he called over the wind rushing in our ears as he picked up speed.

Can I?

I retracted my hand quickly, thrown by the thought, and dropped into the co-captain's seat.

"I want to say something to you."

"I don't want to hear it," he replied.

"Too bad." I grinned at him, watching his nostrils flare with irritation. "I need to say this, Sawyer."

He didn't answer. He kept his gaze forward, fixed on the water as if took all his focus. But there wasn't enough traffic out for that. Soon, there might be, but not tonight.

That was okay. The words might come easier without him looking at me.

"You were the best friend I ever had."

He whipped his head toward me. Opened his mouth, then shut it again. He looked pained. "Don't do this."

"I have to," I said. "I need you to know that I hate this." I waved a hand between us. "I never wanted this, Saw. I wanted…"

His friendship. Just that. Right?

"We don't need to rehash it," Sawyer said shortly, turning his eyes forward. "Where do you want me to drop you?"

"My house has a private dock just east of the marina."

Sawyer steered the boat to veer right. I had only a limited time to find the right words. For several minutes, they eluded me. I almost dropped it. Sawyer hadn't been ready to talk it out ten years ago, and it seemed he wasn't ready now.

But there was one thing I needed. For myself, if not for him.

"I'm sorry," I said. "That's all I want to say. I'm so damn sorry, Sawyer, for the way I hurt you. For how our friendship ended. For this bitter twisted thing it's become. I'm sorry."

"Ash…" Sawyer glanced at me, and for the first time in years, I saw a flicker of the old Saw, the one who was my best friend. Then he shook his head, and it was gone. "Please don't."

"But why?"

"It's over," he said. "It's done. Apologizing won't change it."

"I know, but… You should know that Mel and me? That was a mistake from start to finish. I think we were both just trying to make ourselves feel better in the wrong way."

He snorted. "Yeah, it was such a mistake you dated off and on for the next ten years. You obviously felt a lot of remorse."

"You don't know the whole story."

"And I don't want to know it," he shot back.

Frustration welled up. "I don't want Mel. I don't know if I ever really wanted Mel."

"Well, great, you blew up our friendship for nothing then." Sawyer slowed as we neared the shore. "Which house?"

"I didn't mean to blow anything up," I insisted. "And it's the stupid cabin to the right with the huge fucking boat next to it."

"You and your huge boats," he grumbled. "Why the fuck am I giving you a ride?"

"Because my stepdad is a raging asshole."

"No arguments there."

Time was running out. Sawyer was edging toward the dock. I turned, leaning across the aisle of space that separated us. "Sawyer, I just want to apologize. I know I was stupid and thoughtless."

"And selfish," he added.

"Selfish too," I agreed. "I was mostly stupid though because it never occurred to me that you would be upset. You broke up with Mel, and she said you barely talked to her, and you just seemed to be over us both after you moved."

He gave me an incredulous look. "My life was a fucking mess, Ash! My parents got divorced, I had to move to a different town, go to our rival high school where I was not the most-liked guy right away. I wasn't in a good place."

"And we made it worse."

"A lot worse," he said shortly.

My heart twisted behind my ribs. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "Your friendship meant more to me than any girlfriend ever could, and?—"

Sawyer sucked in a sharp breath. "Then what the actual fuck is this?"

I followed his line of sight, and shit, there was Mel, sitting out in a deck chair behind the guest house. Waiting for me at the worst possible time.

"I didn't know she'd be here."

"You're full of shit, aren't you? You're still hooking up with her."

"No!" I said. "We're just friends."

"I can't believe I was starting to buy your bullshit about being sorry, about Mel not being what you wanted?—"

"She's not."

"It looks like she is. She looks pretty fucking happy to see you right now."

"Because we're friends. "

"Friends," he scoffed. "Right. Like we were friends? Just like that, huh? Because you kiss all your friends."

"Maybe I do."

He laughed. "I don't remember you ever fucking kissing me."

"Yeah? Well, maybe I should."

"Wha—"

Before the thought had fully formed, I surged forward and pressed a hard kiss to his mouth. For as angry as he was, his lips were surprisingly soft under mine.

My heart hammered, my brain filled with static, and for a brief moment it felt as if I'd left my body.

Because I was kissing Sawyer. I was kissing a man.

And I really fucking liked it.