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Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Ash

Sawyer pulled the boat up to the dock behind The Rusty Hook later that night. "You sure you're up for this?"

"Why not? Your friends are cool."

"I know. It's just with all the shit with Rick?—"

I pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. His lips quirked into a smile.

"This is a good distraction. And later you can give me an even better one." I waggled my eyebrows.

He groaned. "Oh my god, it's like I decided to date Cash."

My eyes narrowed. "You and Cash?"

He shook his head. "Not in a million years. When we kissed?—"

" Kissed?" I growled. "I thought I was your first guy."

"Easy, tiger. It was a test. Cash wanted to show me that you and I—our kisses—meant something."

"Or he just wanted to get his lips on you," I grumbled.

"You're cute when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. I just—" I stopped short. Sawyer's grin spread across his face. I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I'm jealous."

"Don't worry, Ash. You're the only guy who does it for me."

We secured the boat and headed inside. "Besides," Sawyer added thoughtfully, "Cash is totally obsessed with Declan."

"Who's that?"

"Owner of the Treehouse B&B. He hangs here a lot. We might see him tonight."

The pub was already crowded, but Sawyer's friends had pushed two barrel-shaped tables together on the far side of the room.

We made our way over, but it was like running a gauntlet.

The bartender held up a bucket of beers. "Yo, Saw! Take this to your table for me?"

Sawyer leaned in to grab it. "Sure, Felix. How's it going without Brooks to boss you around?"

Felix shrugged a shoulder. "Lot more bullshit I gotta deal with here, but your boy looks damn happy."

"Yeah, he does."

Before we'd made it two feet, an older guy in a sun-bleached T-shirt was grabbing Sawyer's arm.

"Hey, you gotta talk to your new guy," he said. "He keeps pushing into my hole. And he brings all those tourists with him. You know I'm not into strangers playing around in there."

"Will do," Sawyer said, not even fazed as he pulled away.

"His hole ?"

"Fishing hole over at the resort. The hookers are totally weird about it."

"The hookers … like, for fishing, right?"

"Yeah." Sawyer grinned. "I forget that you don't really know all of Swallow Cove's quirks yet. We've got some interesting people over here."

"Swallow Beach has its oddities as well. I guess we attract a different sort of freakiness though."

A group of giggling women waved to Sawyer as we passed, one of them eyeing up my man like he was a side of beef. Which reminded me, of course, that Sawyer had probably dated half the women in this town.

I snagged his arm, pressing in a little closer. They should all see he was my man now.

"Hey, food boat guy!" A whoop went up a few tables away. "Your tacos are the bomb!"

"Yeah, you should come cook here," someone else called.

A round of laughter followed.

My eyes widened. I vaguely recognized the group of twenty-somethings who'd come by my boat a few days ago.

"Leave him a good review," Sawyer called. "We're still getting the word out."

They shot us a thumb's-up.

"Rick's shitty reviews will be buried if I have anything to say about it," Sawyer said, a determined tone to his voice.

My heart swelled. There was a time Sawyer had scoffed at me and my food boat. It meant a lot that he had my back.

Finally, we made it to the table surrounded by his whole group of friends: Hudson, Fisher, Cash, Brooks, Skylar, and Poppy.

Sawyer plopped the bucket of beers in the center of the table.

"Don't say I never gave you anything."

"That's my line," Brooks complained.

"You're not working the bar here anymore," Sawyer said. "Gotta leave the beer delivery to other people now."

He smirked. "At least I can actually hang out with you guys instead of just doing drive-by hello's."

We squeezed into the two empty seats between the tables and the wall.

Everyone reached for a beer in the bucket—aside from Poppy, who was nursing a soda, and Skylar who was sipping what looked like whiskey.

"How are you two holding up?" Brooks asked. "That boat accident was a lot, and it sounds like your stepdad is being a real douche. Hudson was just filling us in on the latest."

I winced. "Yeah, we don't have the best relationship."

Sawyer tapped our knees together under the table. "Not your fault. It just tells us he's a creep."

Hudson nodded. "He's just looking to cover his own tracks. He, uh, he called the office today too."

Sawyer stiffened next to me. "What did he say?"

"He tried to sweet-talk me at first. Us business owners need to look out for each other. That kind of boys' club crap that keeps sleazeballs like him operating." Hudson paused. "Sorry, Ash. I know he's your family."

I cringed. "Yeah, not sure for how much longer."

Sawyer wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Well, I'm your family now."

"Which means all of us are," Skylar said. "When I came to Swallow Cove, I was totally alone. Everyone at this table saved me in one way or another."

"You saved yourself," Brooks said, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Skylar smiled. "But you helped me see that I could."

They gazed into each other's eyes, caught up in their own love story. And it must have been a doozy, judging by those heart eyes.

"So what happened with Rick when you didn't play nice?" I asked cautiously, knowing my stepfather wouldn't just back down that easily.

"He got angry, spouted a lot of nonsense. I hung up on him. Men like him don't like to take no for an answer, but if he calls back, I'll turn him in to the authorities." Hudson fixed us with a stern look. "And I think you all should do the same. What he's doing is witness intimidation. If he harasses you again, you need to report it."

Sawyer nodded. "Yeah, we will."

My stomach churned. What would happen to my mom if I got Rick thrown in jail? Or worse, I reported him and he squirmed out of it and decided to take my actions out on her?

No. Better to deal with Rick myself. Just as soon as I figured out how.

"So, I just submitted a new review for Master Bites," Poppy said, seeming to realize a subject change was in order. "Your Fin-tastic Fish Tacos are like manna from the heavens. Five stars."

I cocked my head. "Have you been to the food boat? I'm sorry I didn't notice."

"No." She smirked. "But my good friend Skylar here told me all about his favorite foods. He's a reliable witness."

"I sent in a review too," Cash said. "I've eaten enough of your leftovers to give a legit opinion."

"I'll swing by tomorrow and grab lunch for me and Hud," Fisher added. "We'll post reviews too."

Sawyer sagged in his seat, making me suddenly aware of just how tense he'd been. "Thanks, you guys. That means a lot to me."

"And me," I added. "I, uh, know you all don't know me that well."

"Nah, you've eaten Sawyer's burgers with us," Cash said. "That trauma bonds us for life."

Everyone laughed.

"Rude!" Sawyer called. "No more cookouts for any of you."

"Well, if Ash grills?—"

"Nope!" Sawyer insisted. "I'm keeping his cooking all to myself."

The server came by and Brooks placed an order for onion rings and loaded fries for us to share as a group. It was late enough we'd already eaten dinner.

Which was good, because the conversation about Rick had done very little for my appetite.

"So how was the trip to Granville?" Sawyer asked.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Fisher reached toward the floor. "I got presents."

"You sure you want to do that now?" Hudson asked hesitantly.

"Yes!" Fisher rummaged through a bag and came up with fuzzy handcuffs.

Which he handed to Skylar.

My eyebrows shot up, Brooks reddened, and Sawyer joked, "Isn't that more appropriate for Cash?"

"Nope," Cash said, popping his P. "These two are kinkier than you think."

"Cash," Brooks warned. "Shut it."

"One night, they were talking about spanking ? —"

"We were joking," Skylar said with a laugh. "Mostly."

So, the love birds had some heat. I grinned. "Nothing wrong with having a little fun in the sack."

"I'm glad you think so," Fisher said. "Here's your gift."

He handed me a big-ass dildo. "This is the enemy-to-lovers model. You know, in case you ever miss those days when you hated each other."

"Wow." I waggled it in my hand. "Think you can take this, big boy?"

Sawyer shoved my hand down. "Can you?"

"I'm feeling the enemies to lovers vibes already," Cash said with a laugh. "Now, where's my gift? Gimme?"

Fisher dove back into his bag and came up with something green and curved and…scaly?

"What is that?" Sawyer burst out.

Cash took it, examining it from all sides. "Some sorta monster dick?"

"I figure you've already tried all the normal stuff. I had to get creative," Fisher said. "It's a tentacle dildo!"

Just then, a nicely dressed man in his forties paused by the table, his face frozen in a grimace.

"Bad time?"

Cash grinned and held up the tentacle. "Hey, Declan. Fisher is just handing out presents. What do you think? Wanna play with me?"

Declan eyed it with trepidation. "I'll pass."

"You don't know what you're missing," Cash said.

Declan nodded, looking almost as if he agreed with that statement. "Just wanted to swing by and say hi. Didn't mean to interrupt…the gifting."

"That's okay," Fisher said. "We got you something too."

Declan's brow creased. "You did?"

Hudson reached into the bag and came up with a small box of gourmet doughnuts. "I know you've got a sweet tooth, and these are really good."

"They're called Glazed Holes," Fisher said with a snicker. "I got a sampler box for you all to try for dessert too. Everyone should have a Glazed Hole at least once."

Declan took the little box from Hudson with a small quirk of his lips. "Thank you for not buying me a sex toy."

Hudson laughed. "That was all Fisher. There are some interesting old gals in his cousin's hometown, and they had a sex toy party. Fisher just about broke the bank."

"How could I resist an old lady selling sex toys? And she'd added a whole gay sex toy line! I have to support that."

"Yes, you do," Cash said with a grin. "But Declan, if you feel left out, you can play with my toy anytime."

"I think I'm good." Declan backed away. "I'll be over at the bar."

Cash perked up. "Is that an invitation?"

"No."

Despite Declan's answer, Cash pushed back his seat and hopped up. "Don't want him to be lonely."

"See?" Sawyer murmured into my ear. "He's obsessed."

Declan wasn't exactly what I would have imagined of a guy catching Cash's interest. From what I knew of Cash, he was hot and knew it. He flirted with tourists left and right, always had a playful innuendo to drop, and knew his way around the beds of Swallow Cove.

So, why Declan, a buttoned-up guy who seemed uncomfortable with Cash's forwardness? I watched the two of them while Fisher gave Poppy her gift.

"I know you're ace, so I wasn't sure, uh, what you get up to…" Fisher said awkwardly. "But here. If you throw it away, I won't be offended."

Poppy took the small dildo that mounted to a wall, looking conflicted. "It's thoughtful, Fisher. Thanks."

"Well, I just like playing Oprah." He pointed at Brooks. "You get a sex toy!" Then Poppy. "You get a sex toy!" Then us. "Everybody gets a sex toy!"

Half the pub was looking our way, Hudson looked half amused, half horrified by his much younger boyfriend, and Brooks and Poppy wore matching blushes.

I glanced at Sawyer. "Is he always like this?"

"Nah, usually Cash is the one embarrassing us."

"It's his cousins' influence," Hudson said with a head shake. "Wes, especially. But also, the doughnut guy, Miles. He's as bad as Danny over at Just The Sip. Maybe worse. They could be brothers."

Fisher grinned. "It was a really good trip. Thanks for covering the boats for Hud." He winced. "I know you had your hands full."

"He handled it like a pro," Hudson said, eyes meeting Sawyer's. "I'd trust him with my business anytime."

"Thanks," Sawyer said. "I did my best."

"You always do," Hudson said. "And I'm pretty sure you have a lot more to give just as soon as you're ready."

We left after polishing off the apps and the Glazed Holes that Fisher gave us for dessert. I'd gotten one filled with raspberry jam and it was freaking delicious.

I started concocting doughnut recipes in my head even though my menu was already at capacity. Maybe Vera would like to add something to the resort menu.

"Your friends are so funny," I said, casting a glance at the dildo that Sawyer had dropped onto one of the seats. "I'm glad we went."

"Yeah, me too." He reached for my hand. "We don't have to use that toy if it's too weird though."

I grinned. "Oh, we're definitely using it." I paused. "Maybe not tonight though. Not sure I'm up for enemy vibes just now. Still getting used to having my friend back."

Sawyer dropped his hand on my leg. "More than a friend, I hope."

"Much more," I agreed. "And speaking of more…"

"Hmm?"

"What did Hudson mean? About you taking on more just as soon as you were ready?"

"Oh. Nothing important."

I almost let the comment slide. It was late. We were both tired. The shit with Rick had taken it out of us. But there was just something about his tone that bothered me.

Something familiar.

And unwelcome.

I waited until he pulled the boat into dock at the RV park and we were walking back to his camper to press him.

"Tell me what Hudson meant."

Sawyer cast me a look. "It isn't a big deal."

I tugged him to a stop. In the dark, I couldn't read his expression as well as I'd like, but there was an insistent voice in my head that I couldn't let Sawyer shut me out again.

"I love you, remember?"

He drew in a sharp breath. "I love you too, Ash."

"And I know we're new at this still, but…" I licked my lips. "I don't want you to shut me out. That happened before and?—"

I cut myself short, biting my lip. I wasn't here to cast any blame. I was the one who'd fucked up our friendship. I knew that I did. I just didn't want us going down the same path that led there.

"I'm not trying to shut you out," Sawyer said after a tense minute. "Sorry."

"Will you tell me what he meant then? I mean, you said it wasn't a big deal, so…"

He exhaled noisily. "I had this idea to expand Swallow Adventures to include water-sport tours."

"That's a great idea. You'd be so good at that."

"Yeah, but Hudson doesn't want to just add the tours. He wants me to become a partner in the business. Take over when he retires."

"Sawyer, that's great!" I paused when he didn't smile. "Isn't it?"

"Maybe." He huffed. "It's all theoretical, and we've got enough on our plate right now. Rick?—"

"Is my problem," I said. "I don't want it to hold you back from pursuing something you want."

"I don't know if I want it. Buying into a business, owning it, is different than just working there."

"Yeah, it's better!" I said. "Running my food boat is so amazing, Sawyer. I know that everything I do, it comes from me. It's my vision. I get to do things my way. There's nothing like that."

"You love it," Sawyer said softly. "But that doesn't mean it's for me. I really don't know if I want to take the risk of putting all of myself into something without a guarantee that it'll succeed."

"You're afraid of losing everything like your mom. I get it. But Sawyer, you'd be amazing at it. You wouldn't fail."

"You don't know that for sure." He started walking again, and I fell in beside him.

"Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith to get what we really want. Did you know it would work out with me when you kissed me?"

"Of course not. But it was kiss you or strangle you."

I laughed. "Well, what about when we started having sex?"

"I don't know," he muttered. "My hormones took over."

"Or," I pressed as I followed him across his little yard and up the steps to his trailer. "Maybe you decided the risk was worth it? That even if there were no guarantees, you wanted it enough to try."

Sawyer looked pensive as I shut the door behind me. "Maybe."

I stepped in close, wound my arms around his waist, and kissed his neck. "I'm really glad you took a chance on me."

He pulled me closer. "Me too. Can we…" He drew a quick breath. "I'm not shutting you out, I promise. But can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Sure. I didn't mean to pry the words out of you. I was just worried because…"

"Because of how things went with us in the past," Sawyer said. "I know. But we're not those same guys anymore, Ash. I might clam up a little when I'm conflicted, but I'm not going to push you away."

"And I'm not going to let you," I said with a teasing smile. "Obviously."

Sawyer smiled. "Obviously."

"But thanks for reassuring me. I just don't want to lose you ever again."

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You won't. We're in this together. I promise."

"Then let's go to bed," I said. "I was promised cuddles."

His lips curved into a smile against my skin. "Yes, you were. And I always keep my promises."

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