Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

Sawyer

Ash insisted on driving the boat, and after the night I'd had, I was happy to relinquish control. My system was still flooded with adrenaline, wiring me as much as ten cups of coffee.

I slouched in my seat to avoid most of the wind, jiggling my leg impatiently. I wasn't sure at this point if I was trembling from the aftermath of the accident or the anticipation of what lay ahead for Ash and me.

Maybe both.

Ash kept most of his focus on driving, but he brushed his fingers over the back of my neck or squeezed my thigh every few minutes, reminders that I wasn't alone. That I was cared for.

That I was loved.

Fuck, had we really said that shit to each other? I peeked at Ash. His gaze was on the horizon as he drove, a tiny smile tugging at his lips, his hair whipping around his head in the wind.

I tugged off my hat and leaned over to put it on his head, tucking his hair in. As I retreated, he grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm. "Thanks, baby."

"No. Don't you dare call me that."

"Uh…sorry."

"Not baby. I mean, that's not dignified. You have to call me like…big boy or something."

Ash busted out laughing. "How about big baby?"

I pushed out my lip in a mock pout, and he lifted my hand, kissing it once more. "I'll call you anything you want, big boy. "

He released me to slow the boat and bring it in alongside his houseboat.

I blinked in surprise. "Your place, huh?"

"More privacy," he said with a shrug. "I don't want you worrying about waking up the neighbors." He wiggled his brows. "I've got plans for you."

"Oh, really?" I teased. "And what if I'm tired?"

His playful expression softened. "You've had a hell of a night. So, if all you want is cuddles and sleep, then I'm happy to provide."

Damn, that was so sweet, I almost wanted to take him up on it. Almost. But I was far too restless—and turned on—for a few cuddles to put me to sleep.

"Fuck that." I grabbed his shirt and yanked him to me, kissing him with enough tongue he'd get the message. "I've got plans too."

He grinned. "Let's go then."

We secured the boat, climbed the ladder up to the deck, and entered through the sliding glass doors.

"You want anything to eat or drink?" Ash asked.

"Just you," I answered.

Ash came up behind me, grasping my hips and brushing his lips over the nape of my neck.

I shivered.

"Let's go to bed," he whispered. "I'll give you the deluxe Ash Dixon care package."

"I don't know what that means."

"It means you're gonna feel so good, big boy."

I laughed. "Okay, that sounds ridiculous."

He propelled me toward the bedroom, and I let him guide me inside and down onto the edge of the bed. "How about sweet dick? I'll make you feel so good, sweet dick."

"Yeah, we're gonna need to hold off on the endearments."

Ash froze as he reached for my shirt. "You're not…um, regretting?—"

"No." I grasped his face and tugged him into a kiss. This wasn't passionate, but quiet. Soft. A little promise of the truth between us. "I mean, it's surreal. I won't lie. Everything has changed so fast."

Ash tugged my shirt up and I raised my arms so he could tug it over my head. Then he went down to his knees.

My legs parted for him, practically an involuntary response.

"It wasn't fast for me." His eyes met mine, an undeniable sincerity there. "I've loved you my whole life. I just didn't always…"

I swallowed hard. "Yeah. Me too."

Ash smiled wryly. "Maybe not as much as me, but you're here now. I'm really glad you gave me a chance."

I knocked his hat off so I could run my fingers through his golden hair. I'd once found his good looks so annoying. One more thing that came so easily to Ash, I thought. But god, he was gorgeous, and I was the one who got to enjoy it.

I tightened my hands and tugged. "Want you to fuck me."

Ash's gaze flicked up to meet mine. "You're sure?"

"Fuck. Yes."

I hadn't been able to forget that little porn experiment of ours. Ash had fingered me every time we'd messed around since, but something had kept us from crossing the line to actual fucking. Maybe we'd both been waiting for this moment.

When we were both sure of what it would mean to us.

"I'll make it so fucking good," Ash promised, his voice filled with a sexy rasp that gave away how much he wanted it.

He slipped trembling fingers under the waistband of my shorts and tugged.

I lifted my ass, and he pulled them down over my thighs, then did the same with my boxer briefs. He drew the material down my legs, then pulled off my shoes and slipped it over my feet.

I sat on the edge of the bed, entirely naked, my cock sticking out hard and stiff, practically begging for attention. Ash was still fully dressed, but he didn't keep me waiting.

He gently widened my legs, then brushed a feathery soft kiss to my inner thigh. He nuzzled my balls. Then he finally moved his lips to the shaft of my dick.

"Stop teasing and suck me," I growled, pushing my hips forward, cockhead bumping Ash's lips.

He tsked. "So impatient."

I tightened my grip on his hair, tugging him down, and he parted his lips to let me inside his hot, wet mouth. I groaned, loosening my hold so Ash could set the pace.

"Fuck, I'm so wound up," I muttered. "I need?—"

He pushed a finger into my hole, the sudden intrusion burning but also just what I needed.

I shuddered, my body straining. "Y-yes. Need more."

He withdrew instead, leaving me needy and empty. My whole body crackled with want. "Ash, what the?—"

"Gotta grab the lube," he murmured, hot breath tormenting my aching dick with more temptation.

He reached past me, withdrawing it from under the pillow. I snorted. "You horny bastard. You keep it in bed with you?"

"It's your fault for being so goddamn sexy while you hated me."

"Oh, damn." I reached for my dick, unable to resist stroking it at the thought of Ash jerking off in this bed while thinking of me.

He swatted my hand away. "Save some for me, big boy."

I rolled my eyes. I was never gonna be rid of that stupid nickname now, was I? Ah well. At least he hadn't stuck with sweet dick.

Ash stripped down, throwing off his clothes with no finesse, but he still looked like a wet dream come to life. I'd seen it all before, but damn, I might never get tired of looking at his broad furry chest. His big shoulders and muscled thighs made my mouth water. And that dick? I swallowed hard. That was going to be a stretch to get inside of me.

Ash had bulked up a lot more than I had over the years, and everything about him that should have been a turnoff to a straight guy only made my dick harder.

Clearly, I wasn't straight.

I raised up onto my knees, needing a taste of him so badly I practically dragged him into the bed. Ash laughed as he crashed into me, then groaned as I latched onto his throat with a hard suck.

"Fuck, Sawyer!"

We grappled for control, limbs entangled, cocks bumping and grinding, and it was everything I needed to work out the excess energy buzzing through me.

I shoved Ash down, dragging lips and teeth across his shoulder.

His fingers locked in my hair and he dragged me up for a biting kiss. I went boneless, lost to his taste. Ash used my distraction to flip us and pin me beneath his body.

I strained, mainly to test his strength, and it was such a fucking turn-on when he held me down.

"Are you ready to settle down and take my dick?" he challenged. "Or do I have to make you take it?"

My pulse spiked and my hole fucking fluttered. That was new.

"Both options have their appeal."

He huffed a laugh and swiped his thumb gently across my puffy lower lip. "Let me be sweet to you. Just for a few minutes?"

I flicked my tongue out, tasting the salt of his thumb. He pushed into my mouth and I sucked it while holding his gaze.

He withdrew his thumb and used it to drag wet saliva over my right nipple.

"I'm so glad you're okay."

I shivered. "Me too. Imagine if I'd missed all this."

He smirked. "Yeah, you've got no idea. I'm going to touch and kiss and bite every inch of you."

He punctuated his statement by bending his head to nibble my other nipple, and I arched with a gasp. He circled his tongue teasingly around the raised bud, then flicked it playfully.

It only reminded me of the way he'd tongued my hole, and I made a sound of need as I shoved him down. He chuckled, breath raising goosebumps as he nipped at my twitching abdominals, nibbled my hip, and licked the crease of my groin.

So very very close to where I wanted him.

I shifted restlessly. "More, Ash. C'mon. Or I'm gonna take over."

He grinned up at me. "As if you could."

I strained up, and he shoved me back down with a hand on my throat. Fuck, that was hot. My cock was so hard it was fucking drooling for this man.

"Please, Ash," I rasped. "I need you to be mine."

He bent down, close to my ear. "I'm already yours, Sawyer. I always have been."

His voice rang with sincerity, and he loosened his grip on my throat as he kissed me so gently I wanted to cry. Part of me wanted to insist we shift back to posturing and fighting for control.

The other part just wanted to surrender.

Because Ash had already won my heart. Why not my body too?

I sighed, eyes closing as his weight pressed me into the mattress. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I wet my lips. "I'm not gonna fight anymore. You're in control."

He smiled. "It's not about control. It's about letting me love you. Can you do that?"

This wasn't a question only about sex. We'd just confessed love, but that didn't erase our history. But history or not, Ash was the one person in this world who made me whole.

"Yes," I said.

"Good."

He grabbed my thigh in one hand and my waist in the other and flipped me onto my front. My face landed in the pillow. I squawked at the manhandling, but he wasn't done. He grabbed my hips and yanked me up onto hands and knees, then used a hard grip to shove my thighs farther apart.

It was hot as fuck.

"Just for the record," Ash said, his gentle voice running contrary to his actions. "I really was okay with putting you to bed with kisses and cuddles."

"Next time," I said. "If you try to cuddle me now, I will be severely disappointed."

His laugh was low and pleased. "If you're sure."

"Do you not see my dick? It's fucking wet for you. I don't think anyone else has ever done that to me."

"Well, fuck me."

His hands tightened on my ass, kneading and spreading my cheeks. His breathing picked up, too, like his restraint was finally snapping.

About fucking time.

He spread my cheeks, exposing my hole and—oh god, was I really going to do this? Let him put his dick in me? His fingers had felt huge. Yes, I'd liked it. But…what if I couldn't stretch enough for all that? What if I couldn't take it?

"You're all tense again." A slick finger circled my rim. "Just relax, okay? This will only go as far as you want. If you decide you need to stop, we'll stop."

I took a breath and exhaled. "Sorry. I just got in my head."

"If you're not ready?—"

"I'm ready. I want you."

He pressed a kiss to my tailbone and his finger pressed at my hole. "Good. Because I'm dying to feel you from the inside."

Oh god.

His index finger slid in easily with the lube. I arched, pushing my ass up like a cat in heat. "More."

The second finger burned a tiny bit, but it subsided relatively quickly. The third? That sucker was the real test. A sweat broke out on my skin as my hole stretched.

Ash took his time, using lots of lube and working me open gradually. And while he did, my discomfort shifted to a craving.

My dick ached fiercely and I couldn't resist reaching down to stroke myself as Ash got my ass ready for him. "Fuck, I can't take any more teasing. Fuck me already."

I trembled, but not with nerves or fear. It was eagerness. Need. Fucking desperation. I needed to be stretched and filled and fucking possessed by this man.

"Hold on, babe. I got you."

He scrambled to put on a condom—I had no idea where he'd gotten it and I didn't care, as long as he hurried the fuck up—and slicked his dick. "Ready?"

"Do it!"

He pressed the blunt head against my hole and I could tell it was wider than his fingers. But I was too far gone to back out now, or to even care as the burn of entry flashed through me. I needed this, even if it split me in two.

He slid forward, widening my hole even farther.

"F-fuck!"

"Shh. You can take it," he murmured. "You're a big boy, remember?"

"Fuck off," I said with a laugh. "I think you're the big boy. Your dick feels huge."

"Finally, some recognition."

He reached under my body, taking hold of my flagging dick and stroked it back to hardness. The burn in my ass faded as my focus shifted to my sensitive cockhead.

"I want to make you feel so good," he murmured into my ear. "If that means we don't fuck, then I'm still good with that."

Ash rubbed his thumb through my precum, then smeared it down along my shaft.

"I'll jerk off over your beautiful ass," he said while slowly jerking my dick, "then eat out your hole until you come so hard you pass out and sleep for a week. I want to wreck you but only in the best ways, Sawyer. I want you to let go and trust me with your body. Can you do that?"

I moaned, shifting. Needing. Craving.

"Yes, I trust you. Just make me take it. Please. Make me take your dick."

Ash didn't hesitate. He shoved forward, forcing his dick the rest of the way into me. A cry tore from my throat as my body gave in and Ash was suddenly filling me to the brim.

"Okay?" he checked.

"Yes," I rasped. "Fuck me."

He grabbed my hips and drew back, a long torturous slide, then rammed in, hitting my prostate and lighting up my nerves.

"Yes! Again!"

He withdrew and slammed in. Slowly at first. Then faster. Until I started to move with him, rocking back to meet his thrusts. Begging him for more, even as it hurt.

Because with the pain were bright bursts of incredible pleasure.

Pleasure unlike any I'd ever known.

He hit that bundle of nerves inside me again and again until there was nothing left of me but that flare of pleasure. No thoughts. No arms, no legs. No worries, no fears.

Just a knot of pleasure that grew and expanded until it was all I knew. All I craved.

"You feel so amazing. God. Fuck. You're giving yourself to me so perfectly."

I whimpered. "Need to come."

"Yeah," Ash grunted. "You've fucking earned it."

He sat back, pulling me onto his lap so he could get a hand on my needy dick. In this position, he impaled me even deeper and I gave a strangled cry as he locked one arm across my chest to keep me in place and used the other to stroke me while his dick went deeper than ever before.

My arms were pinned to my sides in this position. I was practically immobilized. And in that moment, I gave everything over to Ash. Every ounce of control, every bit of worry, every piece of my heart.

I entrusted it all to him, and when his mouth latched onto my neck, marking me as his, I came with a whimper that sounded as helpless as I was right then.

I was helpless to the pleasure. Helpless to the love crashing through me.

Helpless to do anything other than fall into him and trust he'd catch me.

My cum splashed into Ash's hand as the tension inside me gave way to a flood of pleasure.

I wasn't erupting like normal. I was pouring , like a fucking faucet, as Ash shuddered with his own climax and shoved deeper into me, grinding against my prostate.

The orgasm was intense, and it wasn't only in my cock. My ass fluttered, muscles tightening and releasing around Ash's dick, as waves of pleasure rushed through my body.

We collapsed forward into a heap of sweaty tangled limbs, still locked together.

"Fuck me," I muttered. "I can't even feel my body."

Ash chuckled breathlessly as he slowly eased out of me, leaving my hole gaping and empty. I frowned. Was it weird to already be missing his dick inside me? Probably.

"That was incredible." He stroked my sweaty back. "You're incredible."

"Mm-hmm." I smiled into the pillow, eyes slipping closed. "Don't forget it."

"Never, Sawyer."

He kissed my shoulder, and then his weight was gone.

I flailed out a hand blindly. "Where are you?—"

He caught my hand and kissed my palm, as he'd done in the boat. "I'm going to get a wet cloth so I can clean you up for bed. We'll shower in the morning."

"M'kay. Just don't leave," I said, even though I was dimly aware that we were at his place and it'd make no logical sense.

But it wasn't about logic.

This feeling.

I needed him close. I needed him holding me.

"I'll never leave," he promised.

I needed that too.

My body hummed, relaxed but achy, and sleep tugged at me. I'd been on a roller coaster of emotions tonight. The fear and anger of watching that boat crash. The urgency of the water rescue. The high of hearing Ash loved me. The thrill of asking him to fuck me. The pain and pleasure and blissful surrender of a man's dick inside me.

It left me wrung out and limp as a wet noodle.

But also at peace.

I drifted away, barely noticing the warm, wet cloth Ash dragged over my skin.

"Love you," I murmured, snuggling more into the pillow.

Gentle fingers ran through my hair. "Love you too, Sawyer. Sleep well."

I hummed, already swirling into the mist of dreams.