3. Hope

Apickup truck pulls into the street, the tires flecked with dirt and tools visible in the cargo bed. I pull my cap lower over my brow as the dirt-flecked pickup eases into a parking space a few car lengths away from where we’re parked in a rental car across the road from the Dusty Boots Bar and Grill.

Justin wiggles on my lap, and I pull him close to my chest as I watch the pickup’s door open. A man climbs out of the driver’s seat. He’s wearing a short sleeved checkered shirt, blue jeans, and workman’s boots.

“Is that him?” Grace asks from the back seat, an edge of excitement in her voice.

The man crosses the road, looking toward us as he does. Ginger scruff covers his chin, and the muscles on his arms are clearly visible as he strides across the road. My breath catches as I stare at Dexter.

He looks wilder than I remember, his hair a disheveled mop and his shirt rumpled.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “That’s him.”

Grace squeals and practically launches herself through the gap between the seats to get an eyeful.

“He’ll see.” I bat her away as I slink further down in the seat.

“He’s hot,” she hisses. “You didn’t tell me he had muscles.”

“Hey,” Calvin says from the seat next to her. “Calm down, wifey.”

Grace giggles. “Not as hot as you, of course.” She squeezes Calvin’s thigh. “But sis, you didn’t tell me the axe murderer was hot.”

“He’s not an axe murderer.”

Justin squirms, unaware that he’s just seen his father for the first time, and I loosen my grip on him. “Sorry buddy. Didn’t mean to squeeze you too hard.”

“Clearwater Construction.” Calvin reads the writing on the side of the pickup, his fingers typing in the name of the company on the laptop he’s got open. “I’ll run the plates while I’m at it.”

I kiss the top of Justin’s head, trying to calm my racing pulse as I watch Dexter go into the Dusty Boots.

It’s the only lead I had on him. I left his house in such a hurry, and I didn’t remember the address or which neighborhood it was in. The only reference I had was the bar where we met. I remember him telling me he was a regular.

“Are you going in?” asks Grace excitedly. “You’ve got to go in.”

“Hold up,” says Calvin, the voice of reason. “Let me see what I can find out first.”

Justin gives a feeble cry and squirms against me, sensing my agitation. I jiggle him up and down on the seat, hoping Calvin doesn’t come up with any bad news.

“So what are you gonna do, Hope?” Grace asks. “You gonna go in with the baby and say surprise!”

I shake my head. “No. I’m not introducing him to Justin until I’m sure about him.”

“Sure he’s not an axe murderer…”

I give Grace a look, because if she keeps bringing the axe incident up, Calvin will never let me go in there.

“I just want to talk to him first. Get to know him a bit before I introduce him into Justin’s life.”

“You find anything, Cal?”

Calvin frowns. “He got a speeding ticket eighteen months ago. He was doing 67 in a 60 zone.”

“That’s hardly bad behavior,” Grace says.

Calvin gives her a sharp look. We both know how Calvin feels about speeding.

“Other than that, the vehicle’s clean. I don’t have any way to run a background check.”

He taps a few keys, and his finger scrolls over the touch pad. “The company looks legit. They work around the local area.”

He gives a brief nod. “Nothing’s setting off alarm bells.”

I let out a long sigh of relief.

“Okay.” I take a deep breath and pass Justin back to Grace. “I’m going in.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Calvin says. “I’m coming in with you. Grace can stay with the baby.”

“No,” I say firmly. “That defeats the purpose. I can’t go in there with a man. It’s a public bar. There are lots of people around. I’ll go in and observe him, and if it’s appropriate, I’ll talk to him.”

Calvin scowls, but I’m not backing down.

“I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

“Make it fifteen.”

Calvin pulls out his phone and starts the timer. “If you’re not back when this goes off, I’m coming in.”

I shoot Grace a look. “Is he always this overprotective?”

“Yeah.”

She smiles and gives Calvin a loving look that sends a pang of jealousy to my heart.

I’m glad my sister’s found love. It surprised me that anyone could tie her down, but what they share is real, and there’s a yearning inside me for what they have.

I take the cap off and tilt the rearview mirror so I can see myself. My hair’s flat, and there are bags under my eyes. Justin’s unsettled staying in the motel and he’s been keeping me awake, but there’s nothing I can do about that now. I fluff my hair and grab some lip gloss from my bag.

“Are you sure you’re just here for Justin?” Grace asks.

“I am,” I lie. I’ve thought about Dexter so many times over the last year. And now that I’m about to see him, my pulse pounds in my ears. But I don’t want Grace to see how unsettled I am.

“But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look my best.”

She gives me a knowing look, and I take a deep breath and push the door open.

“Fourteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds,” Calvin calls after me.

I slam the car door, and with all the confidence I can muster, march into the Dusty Boots Bar and Grill.