Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

T he next two weeks passed in relative peace. Charles stayed in the vault, which gave Tevin one less worry. Val was up and about, having been moved by Cantia to the third floor of the keep now that she was able to maneuver the stairs, and life in general seemed to be settling down for the first time since the death of Brac Penden. For the most part, there had been no more battles for the bridge, though a week after Brac's death there had been a minor skirmish. Tevin and his knights had ridden to battle, but the enemy had quickly fled and the scuffle was over almost before it began. After that, it was eerily peaceful. Tevin couldn't decide if he was grateful or suspicious.

He kept telling himself that he needed to stay at Rochester due to its close proximity to the bridge. It was the same story he told everyone. But two weeks after Brac's death, with the country relatively quiet, that excuse wasn't holding much weight. Truth be told, Tevin didn't want to leave. He was coming to be comfortable here and more than that, he did not like the thought of leaving Cantia. In fact, it was almost a desperate situation.

Since the day that Charles struck her, she had kept her distance from him. He had seen her daily, ate with her almost every night in the great hall, but she was silent and reserved around him. It was almost as if she were afraid of him somehow. Yet when she was with Val, she would relax and smile and laugh. He was coming to feel very jealous that his sister could elicit such a reaction from the lovely lady. It made him more determined than ever not to leave Rochester. For some reason, it was becoming a fascination with him. He did not want to leave her and he could not clearly discern why.

On the morning of the first day of the new month, Tevin and a few of his men escorted Cantia to mass at the massive cathedral in the village. Val tried to suit up in her armor, but it was still too painful for her, so Cantia had loaned her a soft linen sheath and yellow surcoat. With her flowing reddish gold hair, she made a striking picture.

It was a cool day, with puffy white clouds riding the gentle breezes. The sky was as brilliant as any of them had ever seen it and even though it was close to winter, there were birds about. It seemed that every living creature was determined to enjoy the day, including Cantia. She finally felt as if she was finally emerging from her destructive grief and a day like today was not only welcome, it was necessary. She needed to feel strong again.

The colossal cathedral loomed before them. Though it was not unexpected, the sight threatened to bring back memories of Brac's funeral, but Cantia fought them. She would not allow herself to digress, not when her new-found strength was so hard won. As they entered the cavernous, cool sanctuary of Rochester Cathedral, Tevin spoke softly to Cantia as she walked past him.

"I am at your mercy, my lady," he said quietly.

She paused to look at him, her lavender eyes filled with curiosity. "What do you mean, my lord?"

Tevin nodded his head in the direction of his sister, now entering the cathedral in the company of Simon and Myles. "You have done what no one has yet been able to accomplish," he said. "You convinced my sister to dress in feminine garments."

Cantia grinned, watching Val move stiffly across the cathedral floor. "It wasn't difficult, I assure you. She cannot wear anything with weight or restriction right now. It is a matter of pure comfort."

It was as much of a conversation as they had had for a week. He intended to keep it going. "Comfort or not, I promised that I would be in your debt if you were to accomplish such a thing. How can I repay you?"

Her grin broadened and she lowered her gaze. "You were so kind and thoughtful after my husband's death that I felt I owed you a great deal. I've done nothing at all for Val, in spite of what you say, but if you like, I will call our scores even."

Tevin extended an elbow to her, meaning to escort her into the church. He held his breath as she looked at the arm, perhaps thought to refuse, but reconsidered. He could feel her warm hand through the linen of his tunic. It was a marvelous feeling.

"Whatever I may have done for you upon Brac's passing was my duty," he said quietly. His voice was naturally very deep and booming and he did not want it echoing off the walls of the great stone church. "What you have done for Val is not. I have not seen my sister so light of mood in quite some time. She enjoys spending time with you."

"And I, her," Cantia replied. "She has become my friend."

"I know she feels the same about you."

"Then may speak boldly?"

"Of course."

Cantia came to a halt, her eyes on Val in the distance, standing with Simon, Myles, and now John. "Your sister is far too lovely to be a warrior. You must find her a husband."

Tevin glanced over his shoulder at his sister, a dark eyebrow raised. "I have said the very same thing to her many times. She had no interest in a husband. Besides, who wants to marry a woman that can lick you in a fight?"

In spite of herself, Cantia giggled. Tevin had the joy of being the one to cause it. She had a big dimple in her left cheek, something he found captivating. Even her teeth were pretty, straight and white. The more he saw of her, the more he wanted.

"Surely there is a man who will appreciate her for who she is," Cantia said. "Why, look at Myles. Do you know that he has spent a great deal of time with her?"

"De Lohr?" Tevin snorted. "He has known Val for years. He considers her a fellow warrior."

Cantia lifted a knowing eyebrow. "Does he? I wonder."

Her comment made Tevin turn and stare hard at the tall knight with the shoulder length blond hair. "Why do you say that? What do you know that I do not?"

Cantia shook her head. "Nothing in particular. Call it a feeling."

He looked at her. "What kind of a feeling?"

"That Myles would perhaps like his association with Val to be something more. Perhaps it already is something more."

Tevin looked at her as if she had gone mad. "What on earth would make you say that?"

Cantia's gaze moved to Val and Myles, talking softly between them. "I do not know for certain. Perhaps it is the way he looks at her. He looks at her with such… longing and hope."

He snorted. "I look at you the same way, though no one can say there is anything more between us than propriety allows." Appalled that, in trying to prove his point, he had said what he was thinking, he hastened to change the subject. "Speaking of my sister, I understand that Rochester has a large merchant district. I would be grateful if you would help my sister select material for a few feminine garments. She knows very few women of taste and culture that would offer such assistance."

Cantia was staring at him, still lingering on his earlier words. I look at you the same way . Did he really? She had spent many days attempting to avoid him, allowing only necessary contact, but still, she had been unable to shake the sensations his presence gave her. Her affection was still Brac's. That would probably never change. But in a completely different context, Tevin brought something into her heart and mind that she could not define. Her heart leapt at the sight of him, her limbs grew warm and shaky when he came near.

Even now, she held his elbow and relished the feel of it. Once, she had felt the same thing with Brac, but those days had vanished long before his death. What remained between them was warm comfort and little more. The fires of impetuous passion had banked long ago. What she felt when Tevin came around was like lightning bolts.

Lost to her thoughts, she realized he was looking for an answer. "I would be honored, if that is Val's wish." Her eyes suddenly narrowed at him. "You're not going to force her, are you?"

He shook his head, pursing his lips so that the massive dimples in each cheek carved deep ruts, disappearing into the well-manicured beard on his jaw line. "I will not force her, but you could do me a favor and make the gentle suggestion. She may take it better from you than from me."

She nodded, her gaze again moving to Val, who was now gazing up into Myles' face with a serene, interested expression. Cantia tipped her head in Val's direction. "Look at your sister," she said knowingly. "See the expression on her face when she looks at Myles? She feels something for him. I can see it."

"I think you are imagining things."

Her eyebrows lifted. "Is that so?" she was forced to contradict him. "And just what would you think if I looked at you like that? You would think I was a silly, besotted girl."

Tevin's dark gaze moved to his sister several feet away. "I would think that I was the most fortunate man alive."

Cantia suddenly couldn't breathe. She had asked the question to prove her point of a potential romance between Val and Myles. She wasn't hunting for a personal response from Tevin. She yanked her hand from his elbow but he reclaimed it firmly, tucking it into the crook and holding it fast with his free hand. He was without his armor this day and he wore no gloves. His flesh against hers was the sweetest thing he could have imagined.

"Nay, lady, you'll keep your hand right here," his voice was hardly above a whisper. "You've ignored me for days and I'll not let you retreat again."

Cantia's heart was thumping madly against her ribs. Tears sprang to her eyes and she lowered her head so he wouldn't see. There was such confusion in her mind, such exhilaration and such guilt. She didn't know what to think.

Tevin looked down at her lowered head. "Surely you've sensed that my interest in you goes beyond normal concern," he said quietly.

A lone tear trickled down her cheek. He saw it. Not wanting her to burst into tears in front of everyone, he led her to a small alcove off the main sanctuary where hundreds of tallow prayer candles burned. It was out of eyeshot and earshot as he faced her.

The room was warm and glowing, giving her beauty an even more ethereal look. His thumbs came up to wipe away the tear, but more followed and he found himself fighting off a flood.

"I am sorry to make you weep," he said sincerely. "I don't know why I said that. I should not have. Forgive me."

She shook her head, wiping at her face. "There is nothing to forgive," she whispered. "I simply do not know what to say."

"Say nothing," he told her. "I will never say anything so bold to you again. It was wrong of me."

He started to leave but she put her hand on his arm, stopping him. "Nay, do not go," she whispered. "I did not mean it the way it sounded. I simply meant that I wish I could say the same thing to you."

He patted her hand. "You are a truthful woman. You will not say what you do not feel simply to gratify me. I respect that."

"Nay," she said, more strongly. The lavender eyes gazed up at him. "You do not understand. I would say the same to you, my lord, only… only I cannot possibly say it because my husband is barely cold in his grave and to do so would be wrong. If I were to tell you that your presence brings me more comfort than you can possibly know, then it would sound as if I am merely saying so because I just lost my husband and am desperate to find someone to cling to. I do not know myself if that is the case. But I do know one thing; I respect you far too much to treat you so carelessly."

He looked down at her. His gentle expression turned into something of regret. "I can see that my extended presence at Rochester has only brought you more pain," he said. "To stay any longer would only bring us both anguish."

"Why?"

He suddenly took her face between his two massive hands. He had the biggest hands of any man alive.

"Because I stay only to be near you," he whispered emotionally. "But I fear my presence has been selfish. I've not thought of the effect it might have on you. You need to come to terms with your grief over Brac before you can move on with your life. I fear I have added to your burden more than I realized and for that, you must forgive me. I have been horribly selfish. You are such a sweet, pretty thing. I simply wanted to be near you."

Cantia closed her eyes to his touch. His hands were powerful and warm, something so different than what she had ever experienced with Brac. It was wrong, she knew it, but she didn't care at the moment. She found herself leaning into his grip, rubbing her cheek against his rough palm. It was instinctive, flesh against flesh, feeling something she had not felt in ages.

Tevin's hands moved from her cheeks and into her hair. He could hardly believe she was responding to him but he wasn't about to question it. It was selfish of him but he did not care. Now that he had her, he knew what he wanted to do. Without any further words, he guided her sweet lips to his mouth for a kiss.

It was tentative at first, as if both of them knew the wrongness of what they were doing. But the moment he tasted her, a ferocious passion took over and he pulled her to him so forcefully that he drove his teeth into her soft upper lip. He tasted her blood along with the sweetness of her flesh and it drove him wild. His tongue probed deep into her mouth, gorging himself on something he had never before known.

He licked and suckled, bit and kissed. Through it all, Cantia was collapsed against him as if rendered boneless by his touch. She let him ravage her, forgetting her guilt and confusion for the moment. What she was experiencing with him, was no bad reflection on Brac, was something she had never before felt. Brac had been like the warmth of the afternoon sun. Tevin was like the scorch from the fires of hell.

When he finally removed his mouth from hers, it was with great reluctance. Her mouth was red from his attention, the small cut on her lip oozing with a drop of red. Tevin saw the blood and licked it hungrily. Cantia responded to his probing mouth and they lost themselves in yet another powerful kiss. He was aggressive and, surprisingly, so was she. In the process, Tevin backed into the candles and promptly lit his tunic on fire.

He smelled the smoke, felt the flame, and quickly quelled it, leaving the hem of his tunic scorched. Cantia's eyes were wide with concerned until she saw the fire was out completely. Then she burst out in laughter so strong that she had to cover her mouth to quiet the guffaws. Tevin struggled against his own laughter for a half second before erupting in deep chuckles. Cantia was laughing so hard she could barely stand. They must have created something of a commotion because Val, Myles and Simon came rushing to the threshold of the alcove, concern written all over their faces. One look at Cantia with her hands over her mouth and Val thought something horrible had happened.

"What's wrong?" she demanded. "What's happened to her?"

Tevin was wiping tears from his eyes. "Nothing," he turned to show them his singed tunic. "But I almost went up in flames."

Val's concern turned to understanding. Cantia took her hand away from her mouth, unable to speak for the laughter that was bubbling forth. Val grinned her toothy, charming grin.

"I see," she lifted a pale eyebrow. "You are most entertaining, brother."

"Damn near burned the place down," he mumbled, taking Cantia gently by the arm and steering her towards the door.

With Cantia still sputtering with laughter, they re-emerged into the sanctuary. Val had Cantia by one hand while Cantia's other hand was tucked into Tevin's elbow. A priest moved towards the group, also alerted by the sounds in the alcove. He was a pudgy man in dirty robes.

"Is all well, my lord?" he asked Tevin, though his eyes were on Cantia. He knew Lady Penden and knew of her recent loss. At the moment, it rather looked like she was being supported.

"Indeed it is," Tevin answered, faking his composure.

The priest looked as if he didn't believe him. "But I heard.…"

"You heard nothing unusual," Tevin assured him in his deep voice. He looked at Simon, standing a few feet away. "Give the priest a donation on Brac Penden's behalf. We wish a mass said for him."

Simon dug into the change purse he carried, producing a few coins for the priest. The pudgy man accepted them graciously. "A pleasure, my lord."

As the priest turned away to prepare for the mass, Tevin wriggled his eyebrows at the group. "I would suggest we conduct our business quickly and leave before we wreak any more havoc."

"Keep him away from the candles," Cantia muttered to Val.

Val nodded in agreement, biting her lip to fight off the giggles as Tevin cast her a threatening look. Cantia, too, struggled to compose herself. It was difficult to look at Tevin, however, and not break into laughter. So she kept her gaze forward, moving for the pedestal of holy water that was near the western wall. Dipping her fingers in it, she made the sign of the cross across her body and murmured a prayer. She wasn't sure if she should pray for Brac, or for herself for having allowed such a carnal display with Tevin in the cathedral. It was wicked and she knew it. But at the moment, she almost didn't care. She had felt more alive in his arms, more vital, than she had in quite some time. It wasn't wrong to want to feel alive when she'd suffered through so much death.

As she knelt in preparation for the rosary, she could feel Tevin's dark eyes upon her. He wasn't kneeling in prayer as she was, but was rather standing behind her respectfully. When she should be praying, all she could think of was the blaze he had ignited within her the moment he had touched her. The memory of those massive arms, the pure passion of his kiss, caused her heart to start racing all over again. She forgot about the prayers. With her eyes closed, she imagined their kiss over and over again in her mind.

Tevin, too, was having a good deal of trouble concentrating. He stood there, staring at the back of her luscious head, wondering just how long he was going to spend in Purgatory for ravaging the new widow. He'd never felt more evil and he was not, by nature, an evil man. But he knew that, whatever the cost to his soul, his brief encounter with her had been worth the price. He could never have imagined anything sweeter. His eyes trailed from her head to her torso, studying the curve of her waist and the gentle flare of her hips through her emerald surcoat. She had a delicious figure. He'd noticed it from the first. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts of her that he barely felt the first tap from Simon. But he felt the second stronger one.

He looked at his knight, who was pointing at the entrance to the cathedral. Several Winterton men stood in the doorway, waiting for their lord's attention. Tevin left the ladies on their knees, moving to the entrance accompanied by Simon, John and Myles.

"What is it?" he asked his men.

The first soldier, an older man who had seen service with Tevin's father, spoke. "A missive, my lord," he handed him the cylinder of yellowed vellum. "It came a short time ago."

Tevin cocked a dark brow, noting the seal. "It's from East Anglia," he said in a low voice.

He moved outside the cathedral with his men in tow. Several kept watch around them while Tevin broke the seal of the missive and unrolled it. Very carefully scripted letters met his gaze as he read the contents. Simon, though he couldn't read, looked over his shoulder while Myles, who could read, read slowly of the first few words. But Tevin was finished before he was and rolled the vellum up quickly.

"We must return to Rochester immediately," he said to his knights. "Get the men moving. I shall gather the ladies."

"What does the missive say, my lord?" Simon asked.

Tevin's jaw ticked. "Not here. Send John back to Rochester immediately to summon the rest of my knights. I would speak with everyone upon my return."

Simon moved to carry out his liege's orders, readying the soldiers who had accompanied them and bringing about the wagon that had carried the ladies. John mounted his big brown destrier and took off in the direction of the castle. Tevin went back inside where the ladies were still kneeling. He moved to them swiftly.

"I am truly sorry, Lady Penden," he said quietly, "but we must return immediately."

Startled, she looked up into his dark eyes and saw hardness to them. Something was amiss, though she could not imagine what. Somehow it frightened her. Without a word, she followed him from the cathedral and to the wagon waiting outside. Tevin helped Val in first, being careful of her ribs, but when it came to Cantia, his enormous hands encircled her waist and he gently lifted her into the cab. His hands lingered a moment and she smiled faintly at him. He winked in response. And then he was gone.

*

"De Gael is on his way to Rochester. It would seem that the man has had a change of loyalties."

Clustered in the musty solar of Rochester Castle, Tevin made the grim announcement. While the knights of his corps remained quiet and calm, Myles eyebrows lifted dramatically.

"Change of loyalties?" de Lohr repeated. "What does that mean?"

Tevin had been through this before with his cousin. The man was an opportunist and a scoundrel. He'd already betrayed Stephen of Blois some time back, pretending to support the man when what he really wanted was to confiscate some of his English holdings. Now it would appear he was doing the same thing to Matilda.

"It means precisely that," Tevin said steadily. When de Lohr looked flustered, he continued. "These are lawless times, de Lohr. England has no true monarch. Anarchy has been reigning for thirteen years now, ever since Henry passed away and declared Matilda his heir. While she hides in France, the nobles of the country have basically created their own dark worlds in which to govern and murder. Geoffrey is no different, though he is more clever than most. He supported Stephen for a time until he betrayed the man and stole some of his holdings. Now he betrays Matilda by claiming the fiefdom from Dartford to Canterbury in the name of Stephen."

Myles was beside himself. "And you accept this?"

Tevin lifted an eyebrow. "He is my liege as well as my cousin. I have little choice in the matter."

There was more passion in Myles than was healthy. "So you change your own loyalties at the whim of your cousin?" he growled. "You now support the same faction that killed Brac Penden. Now you side with the enemy."

"There are no enemies during this time. There is only survival."

"They killed Brac!"

Fortunately, Tevin was not quick to anger. He never had been. He understood Myles' distress. "What would you suggest I do?"

"Resist him," Myles snapped. "Support the true empress and deny the usurper."

Tevin paused in thought. "Let me ask you something, de Lohr, and be honest. If you were in my position, heir apparent to the earldom of East Anglia, and owing all of your power and wealth to the man, would you so easily create a battle that cannot be won?"

Myles stopped pacing. He looked at Tevin, knowing there was some truth to his words but still angered over the changing of tides. He ran his fingers through his blond hair. "You do not know that. You command fifteen hundred men."

"And East Anglia commands three or four times that. I could not win this battle, Myles. It would be a futile gesture and a lost cause."

"So you support his change in loyalties without question?"

"Without question."

"Why would you do this?"

"When you are in a position of power during these evil times, you will understand."

Myles shut his mouth. He had nothing more to say. With a lingering glance, Tevin turned back to his men. He noted the varying expressions, some supportive, some doubtful. Val sat in a padded chair to support her healing ribs, her expression somewhat veiled. She would do whatever her brother commanded, but he could see that she was distressed.

"Lord East Anglia should be here in a few days," Tevin said with some resignation in his voice. "We must show him all of the support he requires. I do not know what he will demand of me, but we must be ready."

The knights of his corps merely nodded. They did as they were told. Myles didn't reply, but he didn't protest, either. When Tevin dismissed his men to go about their business, Myles was the last man from the room. Tevin called after him.

"I trust that I have your loyalty, de Lohr," he said quietly. "If not, then you and I have more to discuss."

Myles' gaze move from Tevin to Val and back again. After a moment, he shook his head, perhaps understanding more of Tevin's position than he let on. "You have always had my loyalty, my lord," he said. "I suppose I fear for Lady Penden's reaction when she realizes that her husband died in vain. Had we received this news a month ago, there would have been no bridge to retake. Brac would still be with us."

"Life is full of choices and what could have been," Tevin replied. "And I would appreciate it if you would not stress that point to the lady. It will do her no good to anguish over something that cannot be changed."

Myles nodded and left the solar, leaving Tevin and Val sitting alone. Val watched her brother's tense brow.

"You are displeased," she said knowingly.

He shrugged. "I am always displeased when Geoff comes around. Surely a more immoral man has never existed."

"Keep Cantia away from him," Val said. "He has no control when it comes to women. I am afraid what he will do when he sees her. And I fear what you will do should he touch her."

His head snapped in her direction, the dark eyes piercing. "What do you mean?"

Val shook her head. "Do not pretend with me, brother. It is of no use. I see how you look at her. I know your thoughts, though I must say that I am surprised. I thought you well beyond any lady's charms."

Tevin was fully prepared to protest but thought better of it. Val wasn't an idiot. And she wasn't judgmental, either. With a sigh, he sat in the nearest chair, easing his massive body down wearily. He knew he could confide in her and it would go no further. He felt the sudden need to do so.

"I thought myself well beyond that, too, but it seems I was wrong," he muttered. "I've tried to tell myself how wrong it is, how inappropriate my thoughts are, but it does no good. I see the woman and feel myself turn to putty."

Val smiled sadly. "I know. I've seen it."

"Has anyone else?"

"I doubt it. Your knights are not as intuitive as I am." Her gaze lingered on him a moment. "Have you told her how you feel?"

He snorted. "Aye, I have."

"How did she react?"

He lifted his hands in a helpless gesture. "It caused her more distress than she needs. The woman is still grieving over her husband. I have no right to demand her attention."

Val fell silent a moment, listening to the sounds of the bailey as they drifted in through the lancet window. Then she looked at her brother pointedly. "Does she know everything?"

He looked at her. "About what?"

"About Louisa?"

He abruptly stood up, shaking his head. "There is no need to tell her that."

"No need?" Val repeated, incredulous. "Tevin, just what do you plan to do with Cantia? Toy with her feelings and then leave her in despair? What exactly are your intentions?"

Tevin, having strolled halfway across the solar, suddenly stopped and looked at his sister. "I…I do not know," he snapped in frustration. "All I know is that the woman makes me feel something I have never felt before. She has awakened a part of me that I thought was long dead. I cannot go a moment of the day without thinking of her. So you tell me what my intentions are, for truly, I do not know."

Val wasn't trying to agitate him, but she needed for him to think clearly. "You are not a man given to whims, Tevin. Make sure that what you feel for the lady is not simply opportunistic. She is a beautiful, grieving widow and you have felt responsible since the day of Brac's death. Do not confuse passion with pity. You will do more damage to her if you do."

His features flickered with hurt. "That is a cruel thing to say."

Val lifted an eyebrow. "Is it? Or is it the truth and you cannot admit it?"

He sighed heavily, wandering over to where she sat. He sat down beside her heavily, his dark eyes dulled with bewilderment. Val put her hand over his.

"It's not as if you can marry her," she said softly.

He hung his head, staring at the floor. "It's strange," he muttered. "But that fact never bothered me until you just said it. Louisa has been gone so many years now that I do not feel married. I haven't since the day she ran off."

Val hated bringing up the old shame, but given Tevin's train of thought, she had to. "She may very well be alive," she said. "But then again, she may not. We simply do not know. But you cannot take the chance that she is still alive, somewhere."

Tevin grunted, still staring at the floor. "The woman is not a part of my life, yet I am married to her." He lifted his gaze from the ground, staring off across the room. "Until this moment, it never bothered me."

Val squeezed his hand. "Then you feel something more for Lady Penden than simple pity," she confirmed. "But whatever it is, you must stop. It is not fair to the lady. She is still young and beautiful and will make some man a fine wife. You cannot let her fall for a man who will never be able to marry her."

Tevin looked sharply at his sister. She could read the turmoil in the dark eyes and it pulled at her heart. She could already see that he was far gone for the lady. She put her hands on his face.

"Tevin, for her sake, you must stop this," she whispered. "The death of her husband has already broken her heart. You cannot possibly think to destroy it further."

He opened his mouth to argue with her, but just as quickly closed it. A sardonic smile creased his lips. "Louisa and I were so young when we married. I never even knew her until the day we said our vows. And after she left… I just forgot about her. I didn't care. She left Arabel with me and that was all that mattered. Just so long as she did not take my daughter, I did not care where she went. But now… now I have, in the most unexpected of places, found a woman I would give up the entire world for and I cannot have her. The irony of the situation is unfathomable."

"I know."

"Nay, you do not. I want her, Val. I cannot stomach living the rest of my life without her."

"Then it would be only as your mistress, not your wife."

"She is far too worthy to be a mistress. She comes from a long line of consorts to kings. She deserves more."

"More than you can give her," Val said.

His gaze was piercing. "I can give her everything but marriage."

Val didn't say any more. She had said her piece and the rest was up to her brother. Mostly, she couldn't say any more because she could see the pain in his eyes. Whatever he was feeling was consuming him. He needed time to sort it out.

"Well," she stood up stiffly, favoring her torso. "We can talk about this at another time. I fear you have much on your mind with the approach of Geoff."

He stood up next to her. "You and Cantia must leave before Geoff gets here. I do not want either of you here with him around."

Val nodded in agreement. Her cousin could not control himself around women, even a blood relative. "Where shall we go?"

Tevin thought a moment. "Rochester has other holdings, including the fiefdom of Gillingham. I shall ask Lady Penden about it. Perhaps she knows of a place you can go until the storm blows over. In fact, I'll send Myles with you. I'm not sure he should be here when Geoff arrives, either."

They moved towards the door of the solar. "Then we should probably start making some manner of preparation," Val said, not entirely upset by the prospect of going into seclusion with de Lohr.

"I'll know more after I talk to Lady Penden," Tevin said. Noting his sister's expression, he held up his hands in supplication. "I'm simply going to talk to her about Gillingham and nothing more. And stop looking at me like that."

Val stuck her tongue out at him and made her way to the stairwell that led to the second floor. Tevin stood at the base of the steps, making sure she didn't falter as she mounted then. When he was sure she was safely on her way to her chamber, he went to seek out Lady Penden. While the knights had gathered in the solar, she had taken her son out into the kitchen yard. He would start looking for her there.

*

Tevin found Cantia far beyond the kitchen walls. Far beyond Rochester's walls, in fact. It seemed that Hunt wished to chase rabbits and she had followed her son out into the flat, vast plain just to the west of the castle. His momentary annoyance at her leaving the safety of the castle was dashed when he saw her face. She was laughing as her son would run after a rabbit and then trip over himself in his efforts. She was having a marvelous time.

Cantia noticed him approach and she turned to him just as her son fell flat on his face when a rabbit slipped away from him. Before she could speak, Hunt waved and called out.

"My lord," he picked himself up off the grass. "I am catching rabbiths!"

Tevin gave him a short wave. "I can see that," he said, turning his focus to the boy's radiant mother. "Why aren't you helping him?"

She smiled. "Because he and the rabbit are much faster than I am." She watched him snort. "Is there something I can do for you, my lord?"

Tevin's dark gaze lingered over the topography before settling on her. "I need to speak with you when you are free of rabbits," he said. "Something has come up and I require your assistance."

"Oh?" she cocked her head, shading her eyes from the sun overhead. "Is it serious?"

He nodded faintly. "It could be. My cousin, the Earl of East Anglia, is coming to Rochester."

Her eyes widened. "How marvelous," she said. "When is he due? I must make all necessary preparations for the.…"

He cut her off. "'Tis not a grand occasion, I assure you." Hunt was off after another rabbit and Tevin lowered his voice as he watched the lad leap over the tall grass. "I do not want you or your son here when my cousin arrives. I would ask your advice on where to send the two of you for the duration of his visit."

She gazed at him a long moment before lowering her hand from her face. She seemed to lose her good spirits. "Of course," her voice was strangely cold. "We would not want to be underfoot. We will certainly go away for the duration of the earl's visit if that is your wish."

He sensed that perhaps she had taken his meaning wrong. "Cantia," he said gently. "It is not that I wish you to go away. It is a necessity. My cousin is, shall we say, a less than scrupulous man. I am even sending Val with you because I do not trust him where women are concerned. Especially around you."

Her momentary offense at what she thought he had been trying to tell her vanished with his quiet explanation. She should have known better.

"Why especially around me?" she asked.

Tevin's dark eyes glimmered warmly at her. "Because you are the most beautiful woman in England, if not the world, and my cousin would not be blind to that. He might very well try to make you another one of his conquests and I would not stand for that."

She gazed up at him, her lavender eyes luminous. A hint of pink crept into her cheeks. "You wouldn't?"

He frowned. "I do not wish to commit murder, which is exactly what would happen were he to so much as look in your direction. You are not a woman to be trifled with."

She lowered her gaze, humbled with his words. Or so he thought. As Tevin watched, she slowly reached out and took his fingers in her small, warm hand.

"How fortunate I am to have a protector such as you, my lord."

He gripped her hand strongly, bringing it to his lips for a tender kiss. "In private you will call me Tevin," he rumbled. "And I will protect you, always."

Cantia felt the heat from his kiss course down her arm like a river of fire. She remembered the kiss in the church, the force of his passion, and it made her knees weak.

"Because it is your duty?" she asked breathlessly.

He shook his head. "Because I want to."

She smiled at him, a dazzling gesture that sent bolts of exhilaration pulsing through Tevin's big body. He kissed her hand again, forgetting about the boy chasing rabbits or the fortress behind him. There could have been eyes watching them at that moment and he could have cared less. All he cared about was that beautiful face.

"God, I wish I could kiss you again as I did at the cathedral," he admitted, his mouth against her fingers.

She put her hand on his head as he bent over her hand, feeling the soft copper tendrils beneath her fingers. "As do I," she whispered. "Yet I suspect this is not the place for it. But at least there are no candles."

He lifted his head, fighting off a grin. "You will never let me forget that, will you?"

She shook her head, an impish grin on her lips. At that moment, Hunt suddenly popped up with a tiny rabbit in his arms. He struggled with the little creature as he made his way to his mother.

"Mam!" he called. "Look, I have one!"

Cantia discreetly took her hand away from Tevin as Hunt approached. "My, he is a little one," she said to her son as he drew near. "Perhaps he needs to go back to his mother."

But Hunt was firm. "I will take care of him. I will be his mam."

"He is too young, Hunt," she insisted gently. "He will be missing his mother. Would you not miss me if you were taken away?"

Hunt cocked his head just as Brac used to. Squinting in the sunlight, he looked curiously at his mother. "But I will go away, some day. I will go away to learn to be a great knight."

Cantia's heart just about broke. Tevin eyed her, remembering their conversation on fostering and knowing how she had reacted to it. Hunt had unknowingly reopened the tender wound. He took control of the conversation before Cantia could react.

"You do not have to go away to be a great knight," he said, moving for the boy and pretending to inspect the little brown bunny. "But your mother is right, Hunt. This rabbit is too small to be away from its mother. You had better let it go and try your luck with another."

Hunt hesitated for a split second before doing as he was told. He brushed his little hands off on his breeches as he watched the rabbit hop away.

"Can I go with you to learn to be a great knight?" he asked. "I could live with you."

"But what of your mother?"

His little brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Can't she come, too?"

Tevin fought off a smile. "Mothers do not usually follow their sons to foster."

Now Hunt's little mouth twisted as he thought of a solution to the situation. He didn't particularly want to leave his mother, but he wanted to be a great knight. His turmoil was evident and Tevin laid an enormous hand on his downy head. "We do not have to decide this today," he told the boy. "Now, if you're going to catch another rabbit, you'd better hurry up. The day grows late."

Hunt turned around and went in search of his prey. Cantia watched her son, her gaze moving between the little blond head and the massive dark knight. When Tevin turned to look at her, she smiled sweetly.

"You are very good with children," she said. "I think he likes you."

"And I like him," his dark eyes were on her, "as well as his mother."

Cantia didn't know what to say. She simply smiled. Tevin moved back to stand next to her and the two of them stood in silence as Hunt went off on another chase. Eventually, Tevin moved close enough to hold her hand. He tucked it into the crook of his elbow, his fingers playing gently with hers.

"How did you come to be so comfortable with children?" she asked, simply making conversation. "Most men are not so practiced."

But it was not idle conversation to Tevin. He had been dreading a line of discussion just like this one. He could be evasive, but that would only delay the inevitable. Val had been correct. Cantia had to know, right from the start before things got out of control and it would be increasingly difficult to tell her. He felt so strongly about her that he would not disrespect her by lying or withholding the truth. He could only pray that she understood, for this was a situation he'd never before faced and he was unsure how adequately he could explain it.

"I am comfortable with them because I have one," he said simply.

Cantia's head snapped to him. "You have a child?"

He looked down at her. "Aye."

A look of bafflement swept her. "But if you have a child…," her eyes suddenly widened. "You must have a wife."

He sighed heavily, holding her hand firmly as she tried to pull it away. The more he held on, the harder she pulled. "Stop, madam," he commanded softly. "It is far more complicated than that."

For too many reasons to guess, her eyes began to well. She lowered her head, but she also stopped pulling. "Please let me go," she whispered.

"Nay, not until you hear me," he sounded strangely as if he was begging.

"There is nothing to hear," she hissed through clenched teeth. "You have a wife, yet you have openly displayed feeling for me and.…"

She suddenly yanked hard and dislodged her hand. As she quickly walked away in the direction that Hunt had been leaping, Tevin followed.

"Cantia," he called after her quietly.

She whirled to him, still walking, almost tripping over her skirts as they became entangled in the grass. "No," she jabbed a finger at him angrily. "No more. Never again will you say those things to me. I will not hear you."

He took two giant strides and grabbed her. She struggled against him but she was no match for his strength. "Cantia, please hear me," he very nearly pleaded. "It is not what it seems."

She looked at him as if he were pure evil. "How can you say that? You are married."

"By law, yes. But it is not that simple."

She looked as if she wanted to punch him, her little fists balled up as she struggled. "You have toyed with me. I shall never forgive you for that."

He spoke steadily, firmly, hoping she would hear his words above her outrage. "My wife has not been a part of my life since my daughter was born," he said. "She was a noble of Teutonic birth and we were betrothed as children. We were married at a very young age and my daughter was born less than a year later. But Arabel was born with defects and my wife refused to accept the child. She blamed me for everything. She abandoned the baby and she abandoned our marriage. She ran off with one of the German knights who had escorted her to our marriage from her homeland and I've not seen her since."

By this time, Cantia had stopped struggling. She gazed up at Tevin with a mixture of disbelief and anger. "The baby," she said. "What is wrong with her?"

Tevin's tight grip on her loosened, his hands beginning to caress her. "She was born with her spine exposed," he said. "She is a cripple who cannot walk and can barely move her arms. But she is fifteen years old now and the most brilliant woman I have ever known. I am not sorry she was born, not in the least. Though I am sorry every day that her mother left her, I am not sorry that her mother left me , if that makes any sense. Louisa was proud, arrogant, and cruel. She has been gone these fifteen years and until a few weeks ago, I'd not thought of her in almost as long. And then I met you and began to wonder if the woman still lived. For as long as she lives, I can never remarry. You have made me think of such things and be concerned for them. But that does not stop me from adoring you, Cantia. It does not stop these feelings growing inside of me."

Cantia just stared at him. He suddenly became so human in her eyes, so fragile. The viscount who commanded thousands was a man with a heavy heart and a humiliating past. She lifted a timid hand to his cheek.

"Oh… my poor Tevin," she said softly. "Your wife ran off and left you with an ill child."

He shrugged. It was an old wound, long since healed. "Arabel is a beautiful, intelligent girl. She has been my one joy in life until now. Since I met you, it is as if an entirely new world has opened up to me, something I never knew to exist. I don't want to lose this, Cantia, but it all seems horribly unfair to you."

"How do you mean?"

"Because nothing can ever become of it. I cannot marry you, and you should most definitely remarry. You will make some man a very fine wife."

He hated uttering those words, for they were like daggers to his heart. Cantia removed her hand from his face and lowered her gaze, obviously contemplating all he had just told her. She resumed her walk, following the path of her son. They could see him in the distance, throwing himself on the ground in an attempt to trap his quarry. She came to a halt on the crest of a small hill, about fifteen feet from Tevin. He still stood there, watching the breeze gently blow her hair about, wondering if all of the joy and excitement of the past few weeks had come to a tragic end.

That was more than likely the case. Cantia stood far from him, unmoving and silent. Tevin stood there a nominal amount of time before turning away from her with the intention of returning to the castle. But her soft voice stopped him.

"Tevin," she called quietly.

He turned to her. "Aye?"

"Your wife," she began. "Have you ever tried to find her?"

He paused, retracing his steps back in her direction. "Right after she left. But her father told me what she had done. Apparently, she had been in love with this knight since childhood and did not see her marriage to me as an obstacle to their happiness. Her father thought she was living in Paris with this man but he was not sure. I did not pursue it beyond that."

He was within a few feet of her when she turned to look at him. "I must ask you a serious question."

"By all means."

"If your wife was dead, would you want to marry me?"

"Tomorrow, if I could."

"Do you feel so strongly, then?"

He snorted at the irony of the question. "I believe that I do. Do you?"

She fell silent, her lavender eyes watching her son in the distance. As he watched her, he could see the tears returning. "No, Cantia," he comforted. "No tears, not now."

His words only made her burst into soft sobs. With a sigh, Tevin put his arms around her, holding her tightly against him. She clung to him, her soft body pressed close.

"I have felt so guilty for these feelings I harbor for you, thinking them very disrespectful to Brac's memory," she wept. "At first I thought I felt them because you had been kind to me and I was grieving and lonely, but as time passed, I realized these feelings had nothing to do with Brac's passing. They were strong on their own. Now I cannot deny them no matter how hard I try."

His face was buried in the top of her head as he rocked her gently. "As I have harbored the same guilt, only worse. I thought perhaps I was taking advantage of your vulnerability."

She pulled her face out of his chest, looking up at him. "Never have you done that. You are a man of too much honor."

He gazed down at her, feeling that uncontrollable pull again. It was a supreme struggle not to kiss her, out in the open to the shock of her son. A massive hand came up, smoothing her hair away from her face as he absorbed her lovely features.

"My cousin will be here for a week or two," he said quietly. "You and I will be separated for as long. Perhaps… perhaps it will give us time to discover what we really feel, if it is something more than pity or convenience or lust."

She knew he was right, though she did not want to be separated from him, not even for a moment. "And if we discover they are true?"

He pulled her closer. "Then I will go to Paris. I will not stop until I have discovered what has become of Louisa."

Cantia swallowed hard. "And if she is alive?"

"I will petition the pope to annul the marriage on the grounds of abandonment and cruelty. And then I will marry you, we will have a dozen sons just like Hunt, and we will grow old in each other's arms."

She smiled, loving the feel of him against her, loving the glorious handsomeness of his masculine face. The wind was kicking up, blowing his copper curls into her face. "But what if you cannot obtain an annulment? What then?"

"I will still adore you for the rest of my life. You and no other."

Her smile faded. "And I will still bear you a dozen strong sons and we will still grow old in each other's arms."

"I cannot ask that of you."

"You did not. If it is the only way I can have you, then I am happy to make that choice."

His dark eyes glittered like shards of obsidian, hard and unyielding and powerful. "Madam, I cannot imagine a greater honor, but you should think carefully about that statement while we are apart. I may hold you to it."

"I would hope you do."

He wanted to kiss her so badly that he began to shake. Unable to control himself, he lifted both of her hands and hungrily kissed them, devouring her flesh, sucking on her fingers until Cantia gasped softly. He nibbled her palms, her wrists, even her fingernails. In his grasp, Cantia was breathing heavily.

"Oh, Tevin," she gasped. "When you do that.…"

"I know," he moaned, his lips against the back of her right hand. "If you could only feel my need for you now, madam, you would know how badly I want you. All of you."

Shockingly strong words, but she was not surprised or offended. She was not a maiden and Brac's want for her had been insatiable. She knew what it meant to have a man make love to her. She wondered what it would be like when Tevin did. And she had no doubt that he soon would.

She moved close to him, taking his face between her hands. "I will take Hunt back to the castle so that he may play with his dog in the yard," she whispered, her face an inch from his. "And then I will retreat to my chamber. You may find me there in one hour. Alone."

He stared at her a moment, unsure if he heard correctly. He knew what she meant simply by the look in her eye. "Are you sure?"

"Verily."

"But… Cantia, I do not want you to think that I am only interested in conquest. I do not take this lightly."

"Nor do I," she whispered. With that, she pressed her open mouth against him, her tongue engaging in a delicate dance with his. The blaze between them flared like a fire with too much dry kindling and, for a brief moment, Tevin was in danger of swallowing up her entire face. He couldn't get enough of her. But just as quickly, she pulled away, walking hastily in the direction of her frolicking son.

Heart thumping painfully against his ribs, Tevin watched her go. He put his hand on his chest as if to stop the crazy beating. He couldn't breathe. But she said she would be waiting for him in an hour.

It was the longest hour of his life.