Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The Next Day

" M ilady , your mother wishes for you to join the family in the breakfast room," her maid said, opening the curtains to let in the morning light.

Katie had spent another restless night full of bad dreams and poor sleep.

" Do you have a preference for what you'd like to wear today?"

" I think the rose pink," she murmured.

" An excellent choice," Millie said. The maid laid her dress on the white damask chair in front of the fireplace and placed the matching shoes beneath the chair on the blue-toned Aubusson carpet.

" Thank you, Millie ," Katie said as she rose from the bed. " Let Mama know I'll be down in a few minutes."

" Yes , milady. I'll be back in a few moments to help you dress," the young maid said, closing the door behind her.

Katie hoped to avoid discussion of the Duke of Clarence's ball. Even though she'd managed to get through it, despite her near fainting episode. Thanks to her friends and the mysterious Lord Soren . She couldn't help but think of him as mysterious even though she now knew who he was.

Her breath had caught in her throat from the first moment she'd laid eyes on him at the ball. Yes , Lord Soren was extremely handsome, tall, and broad-shouldered, but she'd never experienced such a visceral reaction when his eyes had met hers.

Then , later on, when she was in the midst of that fainting spell, he appeared by her side, and she felt a sense of calm wash over her as well as a keen awareness at the same time. Smoothly and without drawing attention to her, he'd tucked her arm through his and escorted her and Paula to a seating area so that she could recover from her dizziness.

And then he asked me to dance…

The waltz had been both exciting and unnerving, and she didn't know what to make of it. As he twirled her around the ballroom, the energizing heat of his touch made her tingle from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

Being in his arms made her feel safe and protected on one hand but also exposed and vulnerable on the other. Was Lord Soren's potent effect on her due to her anxiety and nervousness at being back out in Society after a year of grieving Wendel's death or was she experiencing a true attraction that was completely new and unique?

But even after what turned into a magical outing, the bad dreams returned. In last night's dream, she'd recalled ripping the pearls from her neck and throwing them at the thieves. Perhaps it was the shock of seeing Lady Whiner with her broken pearl necklace. She'd also seen brief snatches of faces that flashed through the dream. Was she seeing the faces of the thieves?

She'd awakened before dawn, weeping, her nightgown drenched with perspiration, unable to recall those faces clearly. This time she did not weep tears of helplessness, this time she wept tears of anger. Why had the dreams come back and who were these faces?

Katie washed her face and went to her desk and pulled out her journal. Determined not to forget her dream, she wrote down the details she could recall, trying to describe what she had only seen in quick flashes.

The pages and pages of notes from previous dreams had not offered much nor helped find the men responsible. But last night felt different. It was as if her mind was forcing her to recall something.

Sitting in front of her fireplace, she leaned back in her chair and thought back to that night. There had to be a connection to her dream. She needed to overcome this paralyzing fear, or she could never live a normal life.

Are my dreams trying to tell me something that I missed before?

She did recall that the attack had not felt random. It felt as though the thieves had been waiting for them, even though she couldn't remember their faces. But no one had believed her when she suggested it. Even her brother had dismissed the notion when she'd approached him a few weeks after the attack.

" Do you know how many people are robbed and assaulted in London each year?" Thomas had said in response to her suggestion. " Thieves lie in wait, looking for an opportunity to pounce. Wendel exercised poor judgment when he led you to that darkened street corner. He left you both vulnerable to just such a theft. He should have known better."

Thomas had paused and sat down beside her on the settee and held her cold and clammy hand in his. " Katie , you know as well as I do that Wendel was not a man of action, nor did he have the skill to defend himself against three men."

" Stop it! Please stop saying those things," Katie had shouted. " You're being unfair to Wendel . It was my fault! It was all my fault. I didn't want to part with Nana's pearl necklace and Wendel bravely protected me. He died protecting me!"

" Katie , please do not distress yourself," Thomas had soothed, wrapping his arms around her. " What happened was not your fault. Please do not blame yourself for Wendel's death. And you're right, he did die bravely. It was a courageous act that he did all that he could to shield you that night."

Katie had sobbed into Thomas's shoulder, unable to shake her guilt over Wendel's death.

She couldn't burden her family with her latest dream, not after the year she had put them through. Thomas and Frankie were expecting the birth of their first child. Frankie was near her time. Thomas didn't need this additional stress. She would work through this herself.

Katie had taken longer than a few minutes to make her way down to the breakfast room. She'd just greeted her family and sat down when a light knock on the door sounded. The butler entered, carrying a note on a silver salver.

" Miss Katie , this card is for you. It was delivered with a bouquet."

" Thank you, Dalton ," Katie said with a smile.

" How wonderful!" Frankie commented.

" The delivery boy handed the note to me separately. He said I was to give it directly to you."

A footman stepped in behind Dalton with a bouquet of pink roses in a vase and set them down on the buffet.

" They are beautiful!" her mother and Frankie exclaimed at the same time.

Words caught in Katie's throat. The flowers were stunning. She accepted the card, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. It had been more than a year since she'd received flowers after a social engagement.

Wendel had always sent her white roses after every one of their outings, whether it was a simple ride in Hyde Park or the most anticipated ball of the Season . Wendel had always been thoughtful and romantic that way. She missed those sweet gestures. She missed Wendel . He'd been her best friend as well as her fiancé. Truth be told, she'd considered Wendel a friend long before she'd had any romantic feelings about him. Their relationship had been slow to build and evolve. Their friendship had increased and strengthened over time to the point where it had seemed natural that they would marry.

As bittersweet as those memories were, Katie could not help the spark of delight stirring within her as she opened the note.

Thomas stepped inside the room and bent to kiss his wife on the cheek. " What's this? Flowers ?"

" Yes ! Katie received flowers," their mother said. " Who are they from, dear?"

Katie cleared her throat. " They are from Lord Soren ." She stood and walked to the buffet, touching a delicate pink petal of one of the exquisite blooms.

Katie wiped away a rogue tear. " I confess, they are beautiful. It's just a change seeing flowers and being reminded that Wendel didn't send them."

" Darling ," her mother said, rising from the table and walking over to her. " I know this is difficult. But I believe Wendel would want this for you." She hugged Katie close.

" He would be happy for you," Frankie added, dabbing at her own eyes. Thomas sat beside his wife and reached for her hand, placing a kiss on the palm.

" He would," Katie croaked. " And they are lovely flowers." She turned away and wiped another stray tear. " I should get my chocolate."

" I , for one, am famished!" Thomas declared. " I expect to need additional nourishment for my exercise practice at En Garde later this morning, and I delayed breaking my fast so I could spend time with my lovely wife."

Frankie smiled up at her husband as she lightly touched her stomach. " I think we are famished as well."

" Well , that comes as no surprise, my dear. You are eating for two!" Mama said, sipping her tea, her lips curving up into a smile. " I cannot wait to meet him…or her."

Katie was grateful for her brother's adroit change of topic which gave her a quiet moment to enjoy the flowers and re-read the note with no one commenting. Biting her bottom lip, she contained a smile as she read:

My dear Miss Latham ,

I enjoyed our waltz at the Duke of Clarence's ball, and I look forward to spending time with you soon.

Your servant,

Lord Soren

Katie folded the note and tucked it into the pocket of her skirt. Pouring a cup of steaming chocolate, she rejoined her family at the table.

Thomas had piled a platter with rashers of bacon, ham, and scrambled eggs. " It's a good thing I fence every day at En Garde ," Thomas said, patting his stomach. " Otherwise , I'd probably gain half a stone every Season ."

Frankie giggled as she spread red currant preserves on a thick slice of toasted bread. " Even if you did, I would still love you madly."

" Katie's interest piqued as she sipped her chocolate. " The press has been favorable in their articles about the club. It's become quite the thing among the younger gentlemen of the ton ."

" Yes , it has, thanks to Sir Jonathan Nelson ," Thomas said, slicing into the ham. " He and his brother, the Earl of Shefford , have made it one of the premier clubs in England ."

" All I know is, that I am happy you don't come home with bruises—something that doesn't happen when you visit Gentleman Jackson's pugilism club," Frankie added with a shudder. " I still don't like the idea of wielding knives at each other."

" Swords and foils," Thomas interjected with a smile. " We use swords and foils, not knives, darling."

" Whatever they are called, they are still sharp," Frankie said.

" Boys and their swords," Mama said with a chuckle.

" To be honest, I quite admire that Nelson makes a point of training boys how to fence," Thomas added. " It's important to teach them from a young age. It builds strength, agility, and confidence. I plan on teaching our sons as well."

" What about teaching our daughters?" Frankie countered.

" Their brothers can protect them," Thomas said.

Katie almost choked on her chocolate as a thought suddenly came to her.

What if I learned to wield a sword?

Her brother had said Nelson taught boys. Surely as a grown woman, she was as capable as a boy. Perhaps she too could benefit from learning. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made.

Ever since the attack last year, Katie had felt vulnerable as well as anxious that it could happen again. And if it did happen, what would she do? She hated feeling this way. Weak and defenseless. It was a feeling she had never experienced before the attack. She had never even thought about being able to defend herself. Perhaps if she had, Wendel would be alive today.

I need more information. Could she ask Thomas ? Would he even be amenable to her idea? Her brother was very protective. But he could not be around every hour of every day. He had his own life and responsibilities to his growing family, his title, and the estate…

" Have you finally decided on a list of possible names?" their mother asked, drawing Katie from her thoughts.

Frankie and Thomas exchanged twinkling glances. It was common knowledge in the household that the married couple were keeping their ideas for names under the utmost secrecy. They had been open to suggestions, but the actual list of possible names was kept under lock and key. Which only made their mother even more determined to drop hints whenever she could.

" We have several names in mind," Frankie said, arching a delicate brow.

" We just aren't ready to share them," Thomas added.

" Meaning you are still debating?" Katie said, her lips twitching with humor.

" Frankie has very strong opinions," Thomas quipped with a grin.

" I know it must seem trivial to some," Frankie said. " But I feel the name of a child is important."

" Not trivial at all, Frankie ," Katie's mother replied before turning to Thomas . " It'll be a grand surprise! Nevertheless , I do hope you'll share it with us soon," she added with a wink.

" Maggie is certainly excited about becoming a big sister. It's all she can talk about," Frankie said. " She is consumed with painting pictures of what she thinks her baby brother or sister will look like."

" Oh , how lovely," Mama said. " I cannot wait to take Maggie on walks when we get to Latham Manor . She is so talented at drawing and painting, and she'll have so much to inspire her in Sussex ."

Katie smiled at her mother's enthusiasm. They all adored the five-year-old child, who was Frankie's stepdaughter from her first marriage to Lord George Gallwey . Katie had spent many hours reading to Maggie and playing with her in the nursery. The sweet and emotionally intuitive child had been instrumental in helping Katie get through the past year. Thomas and Frankie doted on Maggie . They were wonderful parents and Katie knew they would be equally so with their new baby.

" She is quite the artist," Thomas said proudly. " Whenever I visit the nursery, another portrait has joined the others. Maggie has them lining the wall beneath the windows. It won't be long before we see how close she comes to what her brother or sister looks like."

" Perhaps we should take bets," Katie offered. " Isn't that what they do in your club, Thomas ?"

Thomas guffawed. " Yes , it is done—shamelessly, I might add. How did you know about that?"

" Wendel told me," she said without thinking. She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She and Wendel had often talked about children and having a big family. While she wasn't jealous of Thomas and Frankie , Katie couldn't help but feel an emptiness within her. Her perfectly planned life had been destroyed. Wendel would have been just as excited as her brother about an upcoming child. He told her once that if they had a little girl, he would want her to look just like Katie , with wavy, dark brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, the color of the sky. Katie had often pictured a golden-haired little boy with an amiable smile, just like Wendel .

But those children would never be, all because of her unwillingness to give up a pearl necklace. How foolish she'd been. How silly and na?ve. Absently , Katie touched her throat, remembering how she'd gripped the pearls, so desperate to hang onto them. She recalled the feel of the knife touching her throat and a shiver of fear skittered up her spine.

She'd had nightmares about him, too. That evil man who'd menaced her, pushing himself against her. Had she been thinking clearly that night, she would have handed the pearls over without hesitation. But no. She didn't. And because of her, Wendel had died a painful death. And now she had to live with the consequences.

I'm tired of it. She was tired of feeling anxious, guilty, and angry with herself.

With startling clarity, Katie realized the truth—more than anything else, she was tired of feeling outside herself, as though she had not only lost Wendel last year, but she'd lost a part of herself too.

I can't change the past, but maybe I can change my future, or at the very least, no longer feel like a scared little mouse.

Her throat suddenly dry, she took a sip of water. " Thomas ," she began, in as casual a voice as she could muster, "is fencing a sport that requires brute strength?"

Thomas looked up from his plate. " That's an interesting question, Katie . It focuses on agility, flexibility, and endurance. Not so much physical strength as mental alertness and acuity."

" Is it something that only men can do?" she persisted. " You mentioned that Nelson was teaching boys how to fence."

" Why all these questions about fencing, Katie ?" her mother asked.

" Forgive me, Mama , I'm just curious," Katie replied. She got up and made her way to the buffet, scooping up a spoonful of scrambled eggs onto a plate. " Is it hard to learn?" she added nonchalantly, over her shoulder.

" In a word, yes," Thomas said. " But I enjoy it. Father was my first teacher before he eventually hired a master to take over." Thomas winced. " I wasn't the best student at first, and frequently found myself on the ground looking up at a foil pointed at my nose because my head was in the clouds." He chuckled. " But eventually, I learned."

" I'm certain those skills came in handy when you were abroad," Frankie put in.

Thomas nodded. " Yes , darling. That's an excellent point. Many a time, I was grateful for having had an excellent and persistent teacher and a father who fenced with me as often as he could. " Why all the questions about fencing, little sister?"

Katie set her plate down on the table and resumed her seat. Darn , she should have been more careful. She didn't want to cause her family even more worry. They already had a lot to think about with the new baby on the way. Not to mention, it would likely cause her mother to insist on Katie going with them to Sussex . And she didn't want that. Not yet. Not when she'd only just decided to reclaim her life. She'd keep her idea about fencing to herself for the time being. " No reason. Just making conversation," she said, scooping up a bite of the fluffy eggs.

" Good . I suggest we discuss something else," her mother said, setting down her water glass. " Has everyone finished packing their personal belongings?"

" All done," Frankie said.

" I'm anxious to get back," Thomas admitted. " I want to get those buildings in the village that were damaged in the fire last week repaired as soon as possible. The lumber shipment is due to arrive in the next few days?—"

" And we need to complete the renovations for the nursery, dear," their mother interrupted. " Katie , have you decided to return with us or stay with the Dowager Duchess of Clarence ?"

Katie had made up her mind. She was more certain than ever that she wanted to remain in London . Perhaps the dowager would be able to help her in her quest to learn how to wield a sword. She was certain Paula would stay as well. Aunt Jane , Paula's mother, was going to Sussex with her family to help Mama and Frankie with the preparations.

Although Katie felt a twinge of guilt for not going with them, she pushed it away. If she could regain her confidence, she would be far more helpful to her family and cause them far less worry.

Staying in London and learning how to fight seemed the best idea she'd had in a long time.

And there's another reason perhaps…a very tall, very handsome reason why you wish to remain in London —her inner voice reminded her. Meeting Lord Soren had strangely begun to shift something inside of her as well. Katie had never even pondered the idea of actively learning to fence until this morning. Perhaps meeting Lord Sebastian Soren had awakened a little voice inside her that made her want to get back to being the person she used to be—but even stronger and more self-assured.

She realized that time was of the essence. She'd spent an entire year wallowing in self-pity, hiding away from the world. Yes , she'd mourned Wendel's death, but in the process, she'd given up on herself.

" Mama , I wish to take the duchess up on her offer to stay with her. I'd like to attend more of the Season ," Katie said. " Of course, I will come to Sussex to be with you all for the birth of my niece or nephew." She smiled. " I would never miss that."

Her mother set down her teacup. " So , you have decided this is what you want?"

" Yes , Mama . And if Paula is amenable, I think it will all work out well. I think the dowager duchess will enjoy our company."

" Very well, I will send word to the dowager immediately."

" Thank you."

For the first time in a long time, Katie had something to look forward to. Hopefully with the dowager's help, Paula , and perhaps even Lord Soren , she could reclaim her life.