27. Roman

Stretching out my back, I walk the final custom order of lace underwear over to my packaging table.

Since the return from my sister's, I've worked non-stop to finish them. Some were for weddings and anniversaries and needed to be there for particular dates. Not wanting to disappoint anyone, I finished the most urgent ones.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd sew four hundred and seventy-three custom-made lace pieces in three months. If I didn't have the help of Sasha and Perry, I would never have been able to do it.

Duke meows at my feet and bites one Croc-covered foot.

"If you bite through that or steal my charms, I'll leave you outside for good." He cocks his head and I nod. "That's right. I mean business, you little shithead."

Scooping up the cat, he purrs while I carry him upstairs. Perry should have been back hours ago, but when I check my phone, there isn't a message from him.

Plopping Duke at his dish, I feed him dinner before heading to our bathroom for a shower. After we came home, I made it official and moved my clothes to his room and all my things to his ensuite. Now it feels like we do actually live together and it's not just me sleeping in his bed.

It's our bedroom now.

Our shared home.

Peeling off my clothes, I shove them down the laundry chute before stepping into the shower. I know we have plans with Leaf and Sasha tonight, but part of me wants to cancel and just spend the night curled up watching the documentary series about ducks. I'd even let Duke share Perry's lap.

And the more I think about it, the more I want to do it. Except I have to find Perry first.

With a towel around my waist, I choose a pair of jeans and, in a last-second decision, I steal a T-shirt from his drawer and one of his long-sleeve plaid button-up shirts. It's super soft. Inhaling, I close my eyes. It smells like him, too.

It's like he's hugging me and he's not even here.

My phone chimes with his tone, and I trip over my feet, running to it.

Perry:I'm still at the lodge. Would you mind just meeting me here?

Well, so much for me convincing him to stay home if he's already there.

Roman:Of course. But can we leave early? I wanted to stay in tonight. That duck show is on.

Perry:I'm sorry, babe. I totally forgot about the ducks. But yes, we can leave early. Are you on your way?

Roman:Leaving in a few.

I send him a kiss emoji and as I walk out of the bedroom, I bump the dresser, sending a stack of paper fluttering to the ground.

"Why can't this man just put shit away instead of piling it all over?"

I grab all the loose papers and, as I set them back to where they were, I pause. I shouldn't look, but that's my name.

The beneficiary of your term life policy has been successfully updated to Roman Auclair. Please keep this paper in a safe place and inform the beneficiary of your change.

He put me on his life insurance policy? Oh god, is he sick? My heart pounds and my skin goes clammy. He sounded fine on the phone.

Not wasting a minute more, I grab my keys and rush out the door.

Perry's truck is parked next to Leaf's on the side of the lodge with Leaf's private entrance. Pulling up behind it, I throw my car in park, and after two steps when I still hear the engine running, I go back to turn it off.

The entire drive here I've been creating all kinds of what-if scenarios and none of them good. Without knocking, I let myself in and run up the flight of stairs.

"Perry? Leaf?"

The apartment is empty and quiet. There's no sign of a dinner on the go like we planned. Maybe dinner is in the lodge kitchen?

Flinging the door down to the lodge open, I fly down the stairwell and burst into… another empty kitchen.

What the fuck? Where is everyone?

When I step into the main lodge, it's dimly lit with twinkle lights. Sasha is staring out a side window, and it's Leaf who notices me.

"Roman! Uh…how come you didn't come in through the main door?"

"Where's Perry? Is he okay?"

"He's fine?"

"Roman." Perry steps out of the office and strides towards me. Dressed in a dark navy fitted suit, I furrow my brows.

"Why are you wearing a suit? I thought we were having dinner here and why didn't you tell me you're sick!?"

My voice quivers, and Perry rushes forward.

"Sick? I'm not sick. What are you talking about?"

Pulling the paper from my pocket, I shove it at him. "This fell to the floor when I was leaving. Please tell me there's nothing wrong. I only just found you. I can't lose you already."

"Babe. Whoa. I'm not sick. I just changed the beneficiary on my life insurance policy. It already existed."

Ok, this is good.

"Why are you wearing that?"

Sasha raises his camera and clicks away.

"Is that my shirt?" Perry's fingers caress the edge.

"Yeah. I…I had it on before I saw that. But why are you in a suit? Aren't we eating here? And why make me a beneficiary?"

Perry's head hangs with a chuckle. "Because that's what people do. They make their spouses beneficiaries. Look around, Roman."

He motions to the side where two giant vases of roses stand. They're stunning. And the twinkle lights. Sasha loves those. They're beautiful.

My best friend circles me and Perry, snapping away the whole time, and I search Perry's face.

"Is this a surprise?"

"I was hoping it would be a romantic surprise, yes."

"To tell me you're not sick?"

Perry rubs his forehead with a sigh.

"Oh, for…Roman…to ask you to be my husband. I want to ask you to be my husband."

"Are you asking right now?"

In the background, Leaf snorts, and Perry sighs again.

"Roman Auclair, from the moment I saw you in this very lodge kitchen, I knew you were someone I'd like to know. You constantly tested my patience—"

"I probably still do, to be fair."

"You do. But when you finally accepted I'm not that bad of a guy and we got to know each other, I fell for you. So hard, babe, that I worried you'd never feel the same. I wanted to tell you I loved you so many times, but each time I didn't because I knew you were so scared of what we were building."

"I was. That's true. But I told you I loved you."

Perry smiles and takes my hands in his.

"You did, and I wished we had this big romantic declaration. I wanted…romance."

"Like your books?"

"Exactly like that. So I thought Id propose memorably. I'll make it romantic and then you went and came into the building from the wrong side."

"Well, you said we were going to Leaf and Sasha's. That's an oversight on your part."

"I suppose it is."

Perry pulls a box from his coat pocket and my chest squeezes.

"Oh my god. This is real? You're actually asking me to marry you?"

"Well, I would if you'd stop interrupting."

"I would have dressed better if I'd have known!"

With another sigh, his free hand reaches out to grab my hip, and he steps closer to me, resting his forehead on mine.

"Will you marry me, Roman? And tell me yes so I can please have the romantic moment I missed before to say I love you."

He steps back and opens the box for me. I want to reach for it, but I'm overcome with a Pretty Woman moment and don't.

"Yes."

"Really?"

I laugh now. "Why do you sound shocked? There's no one I want more than you." Bringing my hands to his face, I pull him close for a soft kiss. "If you don't let me see that ring, I'll change my mind. But yes, all the fucking yes. I want to be your husband."

"Oh, thank fuck." He grabs my hand and jams the ring on before crashing his lips to mine. "I love you. You still drive me impossibly crazy some days, but I love you."

My whole body shakes once the enormity of what happened hits me and I look around to notice the effort Perry put into this with fresh eyes.

My favourite flowers in my favourite colours. The romantic lights. And as I turn around the room, dozens of candles are lit up. They're on the tables, in the flowers and around the punch bowl. They flicker in the dimly lit room and I turn my attention back to Perry.

"This suit is fire. The room is gorgeous." I look down at the ring on my finger. A plain platinum band with a row of five small diamonds. "This ring is…hard to take in. It's romantic. I'm sorry I ruined your plans."

"I should have known you wouldn't come in on this side. I told you we were going to Leaf's, and I was too excited to think about that, I guess."

Sasha interrupts us. "Can I pose you both now? I have enough candids."

"Of course." Perry's hand on my back leads me next to the display of roses.

"Wait. Sasha, come here."

My best friend waits and I step over to him. "I'm gonna get married. I know you're aware since you helped plan all this," I say as the shock dissolves and excitement takes its place. "But I had to tell my best friend first that I'm engaged."

He does a little jump wiggle before throwing his arms around me.

"I'm so happy for you both. And I'm so happy you finally let love in, Ro."

"Me too. Thank you for being my friend. For being a great business partner and for being there for me and putting up with all my shit."

"I'd do it all over again, too." He pushes me away and points at my feet. "You were in such a rush to get here you didn't change your shoes."

Staring down at my feet, the Crocs mock me, and I can't help laughing.

"I think this is a statement about how much I love you, Perry."

"Because you left the house in Crocs?"

"And your plaid shirt. Two things I despise and would never be caught wearing. Yet here I am. Captured in photographs forever, too. All because I had to race here to see you and make sure you were okay."

"I think there's a compliment in there somewhere."

Turning to Perry, I smile and wrap my arms around his neck.

"There was, but you deserve better than that for your romantic moment." Kissing him softly, I slide my nose along his. "Perry Attwater, you are the most amazing person I've ever met. You're patient and kind and have a heart so big I wonder how it stays in your body. You've made me a better person, for real. I know that sounds all kinds of cliché, but you have."

"Sometimes we just find the right people to make us whole. That's you, Roman. You just slid right into this space in my life like I'd been waiting for you forever. You weren't what I expected, but I'm so fucking happy you're exactly what I needed. Don't ever change."

"Don't expect me to wear these clothes longer than the next hour."

I smile big and kiss him again as he huffs in annoyance. "I know you meant me, and I have no plans to stop annoying you for the rest of our lives."

He chuckles before kissing me.

"I love you. I might regret it, but I love you."

Sasha finally gets us to pose and shows me the pics while Leaf and Perry do the brotherly sharing bit.

"You know, there's not a single professional photo of you where you look this good, Ro. Not even the lingerie ones for the website. Look how damn happy you are. This one is my favourite, I think."

He passes the camera to me and my breath hitches.

"Remember when I left Leaf that scrapbook after we met? I had that one selfie together where Leaf looked at me just like that. That's when I knew I had to make it work out."

"I remember." It was adorable, and I remember the pang of sadness I felt. I was happy for Sasha, but I allowed myself a moment to wonder if I would ever meet someone who looked at me the same way. "I asked you if he had a brother." Laughing, I recall the conversation. "Pretty sure you said yes, but I wouldn't like him."

Sasha grins. "Well, initially you didn't. So I wasn't wrong."

"Hey, babe. You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Can we still watch the duck show?"

Perry softens, and it's that look right there that stops my heart every fucking time. Like there's nothing else in the world he'd rather do, as long as it's with me.

"We can, but I need to show you something first."

After saying our goodbyes, Perry steers us towards the path to the cabins at the lodge. He takes my hand as we walk and I enjoy the night quiet. Sasha told me it was a different type of noise out here once. I think I finally get what he meant.

The lap of water on the shore, trills of bullfrogs and tree frogs, and rustles of animals along the ground. And the muted silence of darkness. It's peaceful in a way I've never experienced.

We step off the path and onto the beach of pebbles and sand. Perry stops us just before it turns to real sand.

"When the moon is high, and the night is clear, it reflects on the lake's surface like tonight. It's so bright it's like someone shines a flashlight just for you to find your way."

The moon is indeed high and shining a runway across the lake"s smooth surface. No matter where you stand, it"s like it shines only for you.

"It's gorgeous, Perry."

I have to admit I'm kicking myself for not making the time earlier to experience this. I'm not big on outdoor stuff and whenever Sasha invited me I begged off, certain it wasn't as great as he hyped it up to be. I was wrong.

"That's how it felt when I knew I loved you. You were so bright it made me see what I was missing." His eyes are shiny as he strokes the back of his hand over my cheek. "This is what you do to me. You bring light to my life, to my heart, to everything. When things are dark, you're my moon on the water."

He presses a kiss on my forehead.

"This is the moment I wanted. Not everything inside the lodge. Not even seeing my ring on your finger. Just you and me, out here with the moon and stars and me telling you I love you."

"It's perfect." My voice wavers, but I shake it off. "You're perfect. Thank you."

We wrap our arms around each other's waist, and I rest my head on his shoulder. When I shiver, he wordlessly removes his suit jacket and holds it out for me. I slip into it and we return to our position, neither of us wanting the moment to end.

But there"s only so much romance I can take.

"Perry?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go home so I can show you a real moon?" I can't stay serious and snort a laugh.

Thankfully, he laughs too and turns us back to the path, but I pull on him to wait.

"This is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said or done for me. I'll never forget it. Thank you for once again giving me something I didn't know I wanted. Romance isn't my strong point, but I'll do my best for you."

I kiss him once more before we return to the truck and steal one more glance at the moonlit water.

"I'll always be your moon, Perry. For as long as you have me."

"That's forever."

And that sounds perfect to me.