12. Roman

Perry's guest bed is heaven. The duvet is a dream and the pillows are masterpieces. His guest bedroom gave me the best sleep I've had in a long time. It's easily one of the most decadent bedrooms I've ever spent the night in.

But I still haven't slept in. A quick peek out the window shows no sign of the sun and my phone says it's 5:07 A.M.

Gross.

I pad across the hall to the bathroom for my morning business and pause when I hear voices. But not Perry's. I bolt back into my room and pull on a pair of lounge pants and a loose T-shirt before venturing down the hall to what Perry called the great room. It's still dark in the house, but there's a muted glow spilling around the corner to guide me.

Just as I'm about to round the corner, a loud moan sounds and I freeze. Dear God, is he fucking someone out there? I'm both angry and… hurt. Mostly angry though. How could he when I'm sleeping down the hall?

Stepping around the corner, intent on giving him a piece of my mind, once again I'm frozen. Perry isn't here with someone. Well, no one in the flesh, that is.

The TV plays a porn which makes me shake my head.

Again with the clichés, Perry.

Until I pay attention to the movie because the actor is wearing a gorgeous corset and nothing else. It's stunning, really. Perry still sits on the couch, head dropped back, lightly snoring and legs spread wide, wearing nothing but his underwear. The remote sits on the arm of the couch and a pile of tissues sits next to him. At least he had a happy ending, I suppose, but why would he do this when I was here?

The action picks up on the screen and I turn my head to watch. The bearded man could be Perry if you give him a plaid shirt and blue eyes. I bet his beard feels amazing. I've never been with a man who keeps his beard short like Perry.

Oh! Be careful with the corset, you monster! That one looks like it's quality!

There's a groan, and it sounds an awful like Perry. Which is weird because my dick kinda notices and likes it. Then it sounds again, and it sounds like… oh God.

Perry shifts and I bolt back around the corner and down to my room, closing the door behind me as softly as I can.

What the hell just happened? Holy shit. Ho-ly shit.

Pacing around the small space, I tug at my hair and wonder if my sister is awake. Or Sasha. Shit. I don't want to interrupt Sasha this early and I can't talk about it over text with him. He's supposed to be enjoying a night away with Leaf, anyway.

My phone hums with a notification and I lunge at it, hoping it will be someone who understands my dilemma.

Sasha: Hey, Ro! Are you okay? We just heard about your room and Leaf is going to check it out, but I wanted to make sure you"re okay with it.

Roman: Can I call you?

He doesn't answer, but instead my phone rings and I breathe a shaky sigh.

"Ro, what's wrong?"

"Good morning to you too, Sash."

"Sorry, good morning. I just spoke to Millie when I went to the kitchen and heard about the flood in your room."

"You're up early."

"Leaf promised me pancakes, and we ran out of milk. I ran down to the kitchen for some and got the story from Millie. So…you're at Perry's place?"

"Yep. I didn't have much choice, you know. The lodge is full and everything in town is booked. It was after midnight and I grabbed what I could and he took me here."

Truthfully, I mindlessly shoved things in my suitcase because I needed to distract myself.

"You're not okay, Ro. What's wrong?"

He picks up on everything. Even over the phone.

"I had the best sleep here," I whisper. "I've not slept that well for a very long time."

Sasha hums. "That's wonderful, Roman. But I know when something is up."

Still pacing, I take a moment to figure out how to say what I saw without making it weird for Sasha. Perry is his other best friend, after all.

"I don't want to say exactly but I…um, sort of found Perry in a compromising situation, okay?"

"Did he say something to upset you? You gotta give me something here, Ro."

"No, he doesn't know I saw him and maybe I'll share it later, but the freak out I'm having is…" Fuck, I can't even bring myself to say it out loud. But acknowledgement is better, right? Something about admitting you have a problem is the first step to dealing with it? "I think I'm attracted to him."

Sasha barks a laugh and then can't stop laughing, which only pisses me off more.

"Are you done laughing?"

"Maybe." He sniffs and snorts before returning to his mostly usual tone. "As an observer, I'd say you're definitely into him. But I'm happy you realized it early."

"Are you insane? Now I need to be here 24/7 with him! What if…what if something happens?"

"Well, if something were to happen, how about you enjoy it and see where it leads? You already said you had a great sleep for the first time in forever. I know how hard it is for you to be comfortable in a new place."

"Don't be logical when I'm freaking out."

Sasha sighs and I know if he were here right now, he'd be pulling me into a hug.

"Is it really that horrible to let someone in, Ro? To let another person know how fucking amazing you are under that snark and armour?"

Closing my eyes, the only thing I can latch onto is the pain of losing people. The death of my parents and the way the news was delivered is still a scar that never fades. I've tried for years. The only man I allowed to get close, I pushed away in a panic because I knew I wouldn't survive if something happened to him. He tried to plead with me, but I wouldn't listen.

It's why I've only allowed myself mostly anonymous hookups and nothing more. But Perry gets under my skin. His taunts, I admit, just spur me on, but he's still been kind. Even after I insinuated he was the lodge slut. Not my proudest moment to throw that jab. But I let him have his own jab in return because I deserved it.

"He's your other best friend. I wouldn't want it to be awkward."

Sasha huffs a small laugh. "It would only be awkward if you made it that way. I have no issue with it. You only get one life and if you meet someone to join you on the adventure, you should take it."

"He's rude. No fashion sense."

"He's rude because you dish it out and he gives it back. He won't let you walk over him. And nobody will ever meet your fashion standards. Nobody."

"He probably hates puppies."

Sashas laughs some more and I have to hold the phone away from my ear. I scowl the whole time he laughs. Some best friend, laughing at me in my hour of need.

"Do you have anymore excuses? Or are you done?"

"I don't know why you're my friend. This was entirely unhelpful."

"Do you remember when I first came here, and I texted you about how scared I was that I met this amazing man? Do you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You told me I was special and deserved love. And that I should grab the man if I felt he was worth having in my life."

"That's different. You were all hearts and mooning about the hot lumberjack and I'm…I'm just horny because I saw him almost naked. There's no special love or whatever bullshit you're talking about."

"Ro, I love you like a brother. And I say this with the best intentions, but the fact you're freaking out over whatever it is you're not completely telling me actually tells me more. So my advice is this. Look forward and not back. Keep an open mind."

There's a muffle in the background and some mumbling before he returns.

"Listen, my breakfast is ready. Perry will bring you back later today and I'll help you pack and move, and we can get down to work again. I want to post the pics I took of you. Will you be okay?"

"I will. For now. Love you, Sash."

"Love you, too. See you soon."

Well, that call didn't help at all. There's no way I can just forget I saw Perry in his underwear post-wank while watching porn with a character who dressed like me. There's literally no way to scrub that from my mind.

My stomach growls, reminding me I'm still human and need food. With a breath, I push back my shoulders and stroll down the hall again towards the great room. There's no moaning to greet me this time. Just Perry, in the kitchen, wearing an apron and a pair of the shortest running shorts I've ever seen. Holy shit, he's got a great ass. And legs!

When I clear my throat, he turns and smiles. One side of his mouth tips up and his hair pokes up in places. He holds a spatula in one hand and I don't know why, but seeing Perry like this is… different. Like… a bunch of bees woke up in my gut and told the butterflies to fuck off. No fluttering will be happening. Nope.

"Hey. Sorry if I woke you up. I don't sleep much, so I'm up before the sun most days. Do you like omelettes?"

I know he's speaking to me. I hear the words but I'm still trying to reconcile the Perry I've met previously to the Perry standing before me with a sunny smile.

"Um, yeah. Whatever you make will be fine. Would you like help?"

"You could make me another coffee and one for yourself. The creamer is in the fridge."

Nodding, I move to the fridge and try not to notice the flex of his muscles as he whisks the eggs. Or the fact he's wearing stupid Crocs in the house. But that one is hard to ignore.

"You could at least dress the Crocs with charms, so they're less atrocious to the eye. I can't believe people still wear those things."

Locating the cream, I set it by the coffeepot and reach for his mug.

Instead of snarking right back, he wears a tiny smile.

"They were a gift from Sasha, so take it up with your best friend."

"You're kidding. I'll need to have a talk with him about that." I mix his coffee and set it back down near him. He takes a sip with a sigh and my whole body warms.

"Perfect. Thank you. And nope, not kidding." He pours the omelette into a frying pan before popping it into the oven and setting a timer. "My old ones floated away one night when the river rose." He sticks out a foot and wiggles it, silly grin still in place. "These babies stay inside now and don't leave. I can't risk losing them."

His blue eyes dance as he peers over his mug at me. I try to take a sip of my coffee and choke, sputtering all over.

"Shit. Do you need help?" He whacks me on the back several times as I cough, wheeze, and sputter. "I know first aid if you need it."

"I'm okay." I croak and clutch the kitchen counter.

One large and very capable hand rubs circles on my back while I catch my breath and my brain feels as scrambled as the eggs. "If you're talking, then you're okay." But he still rubs small circles on my back and I have to fight the urge to purr like a cat and climb in his lap.

The timer dings and he moves back to the oven. First, he removes a tray of bacon, then sprinkles cheese on the omelette and places it back in the oven. He moves with a confidence in the kitchen I didn't expect. When we had dinner with Leaf and Sasha, he said he never cooked.

"You seem to do okay in the kitchen. I thought Leaf was the one with the skills."

He smiles again as he butters toast, and I pour another cup of coffee for myself.

"This is the only thing I can make half decent. And lasagna. That's it. He has all the kitchen talent."

"I wouldn't call this no talent, though, Perry." I snag a slice of bacon and take a bite. "Fuck, this is good bacon."

His neck flushes, and he ducks his head and for a moment, I can only stand and stare. As much as I hate to admit it, it's then I realize I've made far too many assumptions about Perry. There's way more to him than the abrasive lumberjack wannabe I thought he was.

"I made it." He points to the slice of bacon in my hand. "I made the bacon."

"Like…you raised the pig, or?"

"I bought the pork belly from a butcher. I smoked it and flavoured it myself."

"Perry Attwater, you are full of surprises. Seriously? You made it?" I swipe another piece. "I'm a slut for bacon. This is amazing. I can't believe people just go around making bacon. How cool is that?"

Perry removes the omelette from the oven and plates up two servings along with dividing the bacon between us and it doesn't escape me that he gives me the extra piece when I'd already taken two.

We eat in silence until Perry breaks it.

"So, did you sleep okay?"

"Like a stone. It's unusual for me to sleep that well in a new place."

"Oh?"

In a rare moment, I tell him something I don't normally share.

"My parents died when I was seven. It was unexpected. After that, I developed separation anxiety. My sisters helped me cope with it, but when I moved out, it was a struggle. Still is. I only had roommates who I was comfortable with. I could never sleep in an apartment by myself because I need to have someone else there."

"I"m sorry for you loss." I nod to acknowledge him. "But you slept here. You were comfortable here with me?"

I shrug. Trying to play it off, but that's the truth.

I'm comfortable here with him.

And I just admitted it.